A/N: this was my first ever fan fic. This is a reloaded version, should be easier to read.
Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer is owned by Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. No copyright infringement intended.
Feedback: yes, yes!
Buffy crouches, hesitates. The enemy is right in front of her, waiting. Silently, she springs, spinning, punching, kicking. The enemy is down, hurting. She leaps atop it. Snap. Its neck is history.
"Bravo, Buffy, you've destroyed another practice dummy."
Buffy whirls at the sound of the sarcastic British voice.
"Well, you… um… shouldn't have trained me so well! Yeah."
She stands, blushing.
Giles enters the library, carrying a very large pile of dusty books.
"More research?" Buffy asks.
"Willow has located more information on Acathla, other sightings, more histories. I think this would be a good time to…..Buffy? Are you listening?"
At the mention of Acathla, the Slayer drifts away. The subject is not one she is fond of. Especially taking into account the dreams she has been having lately. "Giles, I need to not talk about this right now." She moves quickly to her pile of towel, backpack and various weapons, picks them up.
"Buffy. I know this hasn't been easy for you. However, considering that Angel has proven his desire to try and hurt as many people close to you as possible, now is the time to step up the fight," Giles states, as plainly as he is able. He knows the difficulty this conversation is having on his slayer, he can read it right on her face.
She turns to him, already on the way to the door. "Giles, I'm sorry, I know you're right, Willow, Xander, God, even Cordy have told me the same thing for weeks now. You have to understand, I can't… I won't give up on Angel. There has got to be something we can do…" She halts in midsentence, at the look of sadness and distance on Giles' face.
"Buffy, you of all people should understand how this has affected me as well. I know that Angel loved you, he has proved it many times over. But we cannot put the fate of Sunnydale, of the world on hold because he might come back. There is no way to know. We…. Don't want anyone else to die."
She stops cold at his words.
"I have to go."
At home, later that night.
She tosses and turns, not able to sleep.
She finally gives up, turns on the light.
She looks again at the Claddagh ring on her bedside table, then at the almost photo realistic portrait of herself sleeping.
She knows what she has to do. She can't.
Sighing.
She snaps off the light, finally can't fight the bone-deep exhaustion that is pulling at her.
She dreams.
Daylight, but overcast.
A small park, lovely lake with the requisite ducks and pigeons.
She sits on a blanket, surrounded by large flowering plants. A bottle with two glasses lies next to her, seemingly empty. She hears footsteps approaching.
"Buffy." The voice is definitely recognized. He sits next to her, hands her a bouquet of lilies.
"Thought you might like these." He leans in, inhales her hair, her neck. Slowly kisses it. She shudders, then meets his gaze.
"Angel….I missed you. Those few minutes you were gone…" she laughs softly, teasing him. "It was too long."
He takes her hand, smoothing it between his larger ones.
"Well, next time the flowers can be skipped." They recline together, she rests her head on his chest, takes his hands.
"Angel, this is all I've ever wanted. You and me, together like this, no one else around, the world shut out. I don't care what the others say, I can't do it. I can't. I can't destroy the chance that someday we might have this." She turns to him. He stares into her eyes with that intensity that always takes her breath away. "I can't kill you."
He frowns at her words. What little sun there was passes behind a cloud.
"Why would you have to? I mean, who's going to really miss Jenny Calendar anyway?"
She sits up in shock. "W..What?"
He laughs, harsher now.
"You know, I should have thought of this before. With your devotion and your strength, there would be no stopping us. We could have Sunnydale at our feet."
He stands, unceremoniously dumping her on the ground.
"Look, Buffy, I know the relationship thing is important to you, but I really just can't do it anymore, you know? Here's the deal," he whirls to face her, game face on. "You and I together… who knows? First, this crappy little burg, then LA, then, who knows, New York? London? I did always enjoy foreign food." He gives her a leer, fangs shining.
She leaps to her feet, stake already in hand.
"Angel, don't make me do this. I know you love me. I know you're in there somewhere. Please think. Please remember. I love you. I love you." Her voice begins to get higher as she pleads with him. "I love…"
He springs, grabs her face. Lowers his mouth to hers, pressing hard. She is beyond revulsion, yet somehow can't help but start to respond. He breaks it off, then faster than she can even follow, sinks his teeth into her neck. She screams louder than she ever has, this first time of pure terror and beyond that, horrifying sadness at what was and is now lost.
She wakes.
The next morning, early.
Giles walks from the teachers lounge, carrying a cup of hot tea. Hearing punching noises, he starts to run and bursts through the doors of the library, tea at the ready to throw on whoever is in the library this early.
He manages to halt himself in time.
She is amazing.
Twirling like the proverbial dervish, her feet so fast he can barely see them. A stake in one hand, a short sword in the other. She has cleaved the new dummy in two before he can take a step.
She stops, panting.
Giles walks to her, slowly offering a towel found on the check in counter.
"Good morning, Buffy."
She takes the offered towel, rubs it over her face and neck.
"Giles, I'm ready."
"Well, yes I can see that, but we still need to work on sword form-"
She interrupts him.
"No. I'm ready. To do what I have to."
"What you have to….Oh, I see." He is shocked. What has made her change her mind now after so many weeks of complete denial?
She throws the towel on the library table, turns to face him. He is shocked to see her eyes, so empty now.
"Buffy, has something happened? You look…." He stops, at a loss for words.
"Let's say that someone has opened my eyes."
She starts towards the weapons cabinet. He only watches her.
"Giles, let's go. Lots of training waiting."
He worries briefly about the reasoning behind her sudden change of thought. Then a face comes unbidden to his mind, a smile, dark hair and eyes. He shakes off his doubts and follows his slayer.
That night, she sleeps soundly, resolute in what must be done, the claddagh ring wrapped in her hand.