AUTHOR NOTE: This is a clop fic, Un like all those other clop's however THIS ONE IS GOOD. if you cant deal with that get the FUCK OUT, BITCH.
Everybody's screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I'm slipping off the edge
I'm hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again
So I try to hold
On to a time when
Nothing mattered
And I can't explain what happened
And I can't erase the things that I've done
No I can't
How Could This Happen to Me?
SPIKE'S TRIANGLE.
By: Thomas Hampton
one-day Spike's dream came true, he got a date with Rarity. And then he got another one, they ignored the judging stares of the other ponies. And just kept marching forward. Spike was too ignorant to see Rarity's un-comfortableness.
Look, it is Spike's FlankBook wall. It's covered with pictures of Spike and Rarity. There they are at the carnival, sharing some cotton candy. Hundreds of pictures, Spike couldn't ask for more. But then one day, it all changed.
Spike was looking at his computer being useless as usual, when suddenly he got a message from rarity. It was a single sentence "We need to talk" Spike looked at his Phone, dread was written all over his face. He did something wrong? Their relationship has been going on for almost 6 months! Everything was perfect... or so he thought.
Rarity told him she was seeing another guy the entire time. It was Big Macintosh. And just like that it was over. Spike fell into a deep depression. Spike would write foreboding messages on his FlankBook wall, like "Woke up wondering why wasn't I enough? You told me we would grow old together." And sometimes passive aggressive ones such as "Today I don't want to miss you. I don't want to think about what we had. I don't want to imagine your voice or wonder what you're doing. I would like for today to be the day I don't think about you" but he couldn't help it. She invaded every crevice in his cerebral cortex. It was almost like hell. I'm slipping off the edge Something had to be done. Spike did everything that he could, he took dance lessons, he went to the gym, he tried to play sports even! But nothing helped. No matter how many times Spike begged Rarity to take him back, he could never convince her they should be together.
Spike went to a Whorehouse in a feeble attempt to try and ease his pain. There he found many corpulent prostitutes. They were all fat. On a table spike noticed a black and white bullwhip This was the first time he was ever in a Whore house. He slept with a hoe named Star fire and Spike licked and sucked on her dirty sexy pony hoofs because that's what his fetish was. "Spike, my hoofs are dirty stop it!" and Spike said "Shut up bitch!" (Authors note: See, that's what I'm talking about Hasbro, we are all adults, we can handle a swear word every now and then. I mean, you made some one say "bitch" in the transformers 3 Dark of the Moon and more adults watch this than that pile of vaginas...sorry, I don't want to go on a rant...back to the story) Spike has a big throbbing dick he don't give a shit. Spit Fire started to munch down on his big fatty daddy burrito that was exploding with flavor. Spike watched her eat a burrito because that was also his fetish. He started to work on her Mexican taco, but he accidentally dropped it in the mop bucket. He left that whore house, ashamed, and more lonely than ever.
One day something beautiful happened. He stopped going to the gym, he stopped playing sports, he stopped taking the dance lessons, he stops trying to be perfect.Nothing mattered
"Who are you kidding?" Spike said to himself, " There isn't a single thing that I can do to convince her, I'll just try being pathetic for a while."
And that's what he did. He started playing retro video games, watching terrible movies, he started watching shows that were made for little girls, he didn't care, what's the point. Sure, cartoons that he watched were made for little girls and had an entire community based off of them, but that won't impress a woman. He made up his mind, if he could not spend the rest of his life with Rarity, then he Would live his life as lonely and pathetic as possible. It didn't help his depression. The memory of her was like a stocking ghost.
Spike began to visit the doughnut bars frequently. The clerk knew his name. He just sat there depressed, and eats donuts until he vomited. One night, Spike was in the doughnut shop, half asleep, apathetically shoving doughnuts in his mouth. Sitting next to him was the zebra, Zecoura, happily chatting with a stranger. Iwonderwhattheyaretalkingabout... Spike simply shrugged it off.
"Sorry, Spike, looks like I'm going to have to cut you off for tonight, you know the drill." said the Doughnut baker.
"Yeah, Yeah..." spike said as he stumbled out the door.
In his sick stumbling Spike Accidentally knocked over some earth pony's carts, a whole line of carts were knocked over, like a domino effect, breaking all of them. uhoh. Almost immediately after he did this, a gang of earth ponies, all warring leather jackets, and sporting Equestrian Flag bandannas across there foreheads burst out of the bar. They looked furious.
"You made a big mistake, you little dragon!" One of them said.
"Please, let's not do anything foolish, Ill pay for all of this."
"Our whole lives, ride on those carts! Money is fine and all, but I think we all would rather watch you bleed." Another gang member said wearing a devious grin on his face. As the gang members surrounded him, Zecoura suddenly burst out of the saloon.
"Un hand Spike, you ignorant Gang, He is a dragon, don't you see the fang?" She said
"I'm going to take my chances." Said a gang member, with a little snort.
Zecoura took in a deep breath. "If you fail to listen to what I said, all of you, soon will be dead"
"oh I'm so scared, what is the daddy dragon going to come down from the mountain, and breath fire on us? Yeah right."
Zecoura pulled out a bullwhip and started to attack the Gang members. the whip looked familiar to Spike for some reason, like he had scene it before.
And with that, Zecoura took out a machine gun an began murdering each of the gang members, in front of everypony.Everypony's screaming
Spike looked at it in amazement, as an uncontrollable grin came across his face. She is so cool...One of the gang members attempted to escape, but was all in vain, Zecoura Dragon-kicked his face, which snapped his neck. After all of the gang members were dead, Zecoura vanished leaving behind the bloody corpses as a sign for her vigilantism.
The next day, Spike journyed into the Everfree forest, he couldn't get last night out of his mind. He came to Zadora's Doorstep, and knocked. When Zecoura answer the door she saw Spike standing there looking to the side and rubbing his hands together nervously.
" Spike, you came in a hurry, what is wrong? You look worried."
"No, it's not that... I was just wondering, if you could teach me how to stand up for myself, you see, I think the reason why Rarity wanted to go out with big Macintosh is because she thinks he can protect her. Maybe if I knew how to do that, then she would come back to me. Teach me the art of teaching martial arts, or anything. I just want to be more brave." There was a long moment of silence.
"I'm in my house, Spike, I will give you what you yearn. Quickly now, you have much to learn."
So Spike and Zecoura started to hang out, and had a good time shooting machine guns in the junkyard, listening to the Insane Clown Posse (Spike wanted to be black, like Zecoura, that would be cool). Then the police came, and they bonded a little more in prison. Then Zecoura broke them out of prison. (Authors note: LOL there is no po-po in Equestria!I just wanted to put that in there because it is awesome.)
Spike finally had the nerve to talk to Rarity. Face to face. Spike knocked on rarity's door and she opened it a look of disappointment came across her face. Then spike took in a deep breath and said "Hello, Rarity"
Rarity said "I THOUGHT I said that I never wanted to see you again."
"Fine, your loss."
and spike walked away, not a second of disappointment on his face. He had better things to do. Even though his training with Zecoudra was complete, He still liked hanging out with her and actin' foo's.
unfortunately Zecoua died in prison five years ago and he befriended a ghost, but spike was really dumb and he couldn't tell the difference.
one day Big Macintosh came by and saw Spike talking to a ghost and he got really scared. "Spike? Who are you talking to?" he asked
"Zecoura"
"But Zecoura died in prison five years ago and she is possessing your body and you need medical attention. jump on my back, Ill take you to see an exorcist. OOPS I forgot, the exorcist died in prison five years ago, guess your screwed, man. you should kill yourself before you kill anyone important, I wouldn't want you the assassinate princess Celestia!"
"What? Zecoua is dead oh no! I was talking to her ghost the entire time!"
"Hay your kina cute"
"Aren't you dating Rarity, my one and only true love?"
"Yeah, but I'm really gay, really allot. I'm bigmac."
"no your not, I don't believe you, I'm spike"
"We should hand out, your cute."
"I did alot a gay sex while in prison, bigmac."
"all right, lets do it" Bigmac got really close to Spike as he unzipped the pants that he didn't have on.
Suddenly Spike woke up from his dream. He was actually sleeping on a pile of dead ponies. he was clutching a machine gun like it was a teddy bear. Turns out spike killed everyone in Equestrea... five years ago. Turns out that all of Equestrea died five years ago because spike killed them all.
I try to make a sound but no one hears me