Disclaimer: We do not own Law & Order: SVU or any of the characters we use. We only hold rights to the characters we create and the storyline.
TRIGGER WARNING: Graphic rape scene in italics. Mentions of self-harm and child abuse. A very strong T rated story.
Lyrics: Nobody's Home by Avril Lavigne
-SAVED-
Chapter 1: Nobody's Home
"I couldn't tell you
Why she felt that way
She felt it everyday
And I couldn't help her
I just watched her make
The same mistakes again"
Hayleigh sat in her bedroom, she wanted this nightmare to end. She wanted nothing more than to get the hell out of this house. She was stuck. No where to run, nowhere to stay. She heard a knock on her door. It was her Father. She became tense immediately when he came into her room.
"Hey Hayleigh, you ready for me and you time? Your Mother has gone out." Hayleigh wanted out. She tried to make it to the door but her Father grabbed her by her arms and threw her on the bed.
"Did you really think you could get away from me?" He spread her legs and unzipped his pants. He got on top of her and held her by her wrists. As he thrust into her, Hayleigh could feel herself rip, she cried out in pain. Tears began to flow. She hurt, she hurt so bad. His sweat was dripping onto her. She didn't want this. "NO, please stop!"
Her father looked at her, "If you don't shut the hell up, I am going to make you."
"GET OFF OF ME!" Hayleigh cried out.
With one swift move her Father punched her in the face. She blacked out.
"What's wrong, what's wrong now
Too many, too many problems
Don't know where she belongs
Where she belongs"
When she woke up several hours later she couldn't move. She laid in her bed naked. She looked down and she was bleeding. She wanted to get up. She made herself get up out of the bed. With every move she winced in pain. She crept to the restroom quietly. Her father was passed out drunk. When she got in the bathroom she looked in the mirror. She had a black eye and bruises up and down her body. Dried blood that ran down to her ankles. She walked over to the shower and turned it on as hot as it would go. She carefully got in. The pain was unimaginable. The scalding hot water pounded against her frail body, touching every bruise and scar that was marked upon her. She fell to the bottom of the shower an began to cry. She reached out and grabbed her cell phone, and turned the knob to make a bath. Before she could think about what she was doing she dialed her Aunt who was in New York. With the time difference she hoped and prayed she was awake. She just needed someone to talk to but she also knew she needed to play it off like nothing was wrong. Her father threatened her more than once about what would happen if she ever told. She wanted to go live with her Aunt. She wanted out of this hell. She hoped that maybe she could work that into the conversation. She began to dial her number and took a deep breath.
"She wants to go home
But nobody's home
That's where she lies
Broken inside
With no place to go
No place to go
To dry her eyes
Broken inside"
Olivia was startled awake by the shrill ringing of her phone. She sat up straight in bed and grabbed the phone, staring at the caller ID while the sleep cleared from her eyes. When she sees it's her niece, she fears the worst. She takes a few deep, calming breathes before answering.
"Hayleigh? How are you sweetie?" Olivia asks.
"Hey Aunt Liv, did I wake you?" Hayleigh asks. She nearly face palms herself when she checks the time on her phone and realizes it's 4 AM in New York. "I'm sorry." She mumbles.
"Hayleigh, you never have to be sorry for calling me. You know that you can call me whenever you want." Olivia says.
Hayleigh wants to tell her. Inside she's screaming it, but in reality nothing is coming out. "How are you?" She asks.
"I'm doing alright. Sweetie, is something wrong?" Olivia asks. She knows Hayleigh has had a hard time adjusting since they moved to a different city and she had to switch schools.
"No, nothing is wrong. Why would you ask?" Hayleigh asks. 'I'm such a liar. All I do is lie now.' She thought.
"Well, sweetie you called me at 4 in the morning." Olivia said smiling.
"I miss you Auntie." Hayleigh said. Silent tears started flowing down her cheeks.
"I miss you too honey. Your invitation to come visit me is still open." Olivia said. She had this nagging feeling that something was wrong. Hayleigh had always been her daughter. She did everything but give birth to her. And she was devastated when her sister was granted custody of her when she was 10.
"I would love to come visit you Aunt Liv. This summer?" Hayleigh asks.
"Honey, you can come whenever you want. Are you sure nothing is wrong?" Olivia asked.
"No, I just missed you. Look, I have to go. I have a test in first period." Hayleigh said. She was so close to spilling all of her secrets but she knew she couldn't. Too much was at stake.
"Ok sweetie. I love you." Olivia said.
"I love you too." Hayleigh said. The second she hung up she burst into tears. She hated her life.
"Open your eyes
And look outside
Find the reason why
You've been rejected
And now you can't find
What you left behind"
Hayleigh crawled out of the shower. She wanted to call her Aunt back. Her heart told her to and it was the right thing to do. Before she could think it through, she texted her Aunt, "Can I come live with you PLEASE?"
Olivia looked down at her phone when it started to go off. Olivia now knew that something was really wrong. Deep down this was a sign of her niece crying out.
"Of course you can." Hayleigh's cell phone went off. She smiled.
"Can you come here and get me...It will be ugly if I ask myself.." Olivia's phone went off again.
"Absolutely baby, I will be on a flight tomorrow." Hayleigh was able to breathe again at least for a moment. Her Aunt was saving her.
"Be strong, be strong now
Too many, too many problems
Don't know where she belongs
Where she belongs"
The next day, Hayleigh woke up before her parents. She wanted out of the house. She couldn't wait to see her Aunt but she was not looking forward to the drama that would follow. She walked out the door and took off. She made her way to the school but she had no intentions of actually going. She hid over by the football field. She sat under a tree and made sure she went unnoticed. All of a sudden Hayleigh's cell phone starts buzzing she looks down and she sees she has a text message from her Aunt. "I took an early flight, I will be there in 2 hours."
"Her feelings she hides
Her dreams she can't find
She's losing her mind
She's falling behind"
Hayleigh looked off and started to stare into nothing. She couldn't believe this was happening. She started to panic and freak out thinking about the drama that was about to happen. She was terrified of the consequences. She reached down into her hoodie pocket and pulled out a razor. She rolled up her sleeve and slid it across her skin like it was nothing. She repeated it 2 more times. As the blood trickled down it was like she could breathe. She grabbed the rag out of her school bag. She kept her cutting supplies with everywhere she went. She held it against her cuts and put her head back. As time went on she pulled out the book Wintergirls. She began to read, anything to take her mind off whatever was going to happen and escape for at least a little while. She looked down at her phone checking the time when she heard the bell ring for lunch. 'My aunt should be here by now. It's only flying from New York to Ohio.' She thought. As soon as she finished thinking it her cell began to go off. "I'm here sweetie, I have a rental car. I am picking you up from school early."
'Shit!' Hayleigh thought. Her Aunt had never failed her. She was the only Mother she knew. She typed out a quick response, "I'll meet you in the parking lot." After the text sent she scooped up her bag and pulled the hood of her sweatshirt over her face, pulling her bangs down to hide her black eye and took off for the parking lot. While she waited for her Aunt to pull up, she became nervous. When a black Toyota Avalon pulled up, her heart almost stopped.
Olivia had the biggest smile on her face when she pulled the car to a stop in front of Hayleigh. "Hi sweetie. How are you?" She said tossing her purse into the backseat.
Hayleigh hung her head and slid into the passenger seat. "Hi Aunt Liv." She said looking at her phone in her lap.
"Honey, look at me." Olivia said.
Hayleigh shook her head.
"Hayleigh Rose Benson. Look at me now." Olivia said with a firmer tone.
Hayleigh slowly turned her face to look at her Aunt. Her heart was pounding. She prayed to God like she never did before that her Aunt wouldn't connect the dots.
"Who the hell did that?!" Olivia snapped. She gripped the steering wheel so tight her knuckles turned white.
"It's not a big deal. I got jumped by some girls for being the new girl." Hayleigh lied. She rolled her eyes at herself for telling yet another lie so easily.
"Is that a thing?" Olivia asked in disbelief.
"Unfortunately, yeah. Can we just go? I still have to pack." Hayleigh said placing her bag in her lap and hugging it to herself.
Olivia narrowed her eyes but decided she wouldn't ask Hayleigh anymore questions for now.
When they got to the house and Hayleigh's parents saw Olivia, all hell broke loose.
"What the fuck are you doing here?!" Hayleigh's Mom, Grace shouted.
"You and me need to talk little girl." Hayleigh's Dad, Don said. He grabbed her by the arm and dragged her down the hall to the master bedroom and slammed the door. "Pull your pants down right now. If you make a sound, I will snap your fucking neck before your Aunt can get in here." Don said lowly.
"She can't find her place
She's losing her faith
She's falling from grace
She's all over the place"
Hayleigh pulled down her pants and shook while she waited for the belt. She heard it whiz through the air before it made contact with her backside. She knew exactly how angry he was. It felt like the belt was breaking her tailbone. Once her Dad was done she pulled up her pants and stiffly walked back to the living room and stood by Olivia.
"Are you ok sweetie?" Olivia asked. The hair on the back of her neck was standing up. She needed to get her niece the hell out of there.
"I'm fine." Hayleigh said.
"So, Liv are you gonna tell us why you're here?" Grace asked as she took a swig of her drink. It was noon and the woman was already wasted.
"Well, Hayleigh asked me if she could come live with me and I said yes. I came to get her. I'm here to help her pack." Olivia said. She didn't see the point and beating around the bush.
"You little bitch! What fucking lies have you been telling her?!" Don shouted walking towards Hayleigh.
Olivia stood up and pushed Hayleigh behind her. "Sit the fuck down Don!" She said.
"You know what? Take the little ungrateful bitch." Grace slurred.
"You have 30 minutes to pack your shit and get the fuck out." Don said.
Olivia grabbed Hayleigh's hand and headed towards her room. While her back was turned Don grabbed Hayleigh's butt.
Hayleigh flinched and jumped when he touched her, causing her to squeeze her Aunt's hand harder.
Olivia definitely noticed. "Sweetie, are you ok?"
"Yeah I'm fine." Hayleigh said quietly as a tear trickled slowly down her face. "I have to stop by the restroom."
"She wants to go home
But nobody's home
That's where she lies
Broken inside"
Hayleigh felt the sudden urge to cut. She walked into the restroom and locked the door behind her. Her heart started racing. She couldn't take it anymore. She dug for the razor in her hoodie pocket. It brought her comfort to keep it within grabbing range. She rolled up her sleeve and began to slice. Tears poured harder with every cut. Meanwhile, in the bedroom Olivia wondered what was taking so long. She looked over to Hayleigh's bed and noticed blood spots and more than one. This concerned her. She turned around and knocked on the bathroom door.
"Sweetie are you ok?"
Hayleigh jumped when she heard Olivia's voice. "Yeah hang on a minute!" Hayleigh cried.
"Hayleigh what's going on? You sound like you're crying." Olivia said trying the door handle.
"I'm fine! I said hang on a minute." Hayleigh got up and did the worst cleaning job ever. She didn't care. One thing she forgot though is to wrap her cuts and she didn't see the blood that was seeping through her sweater. She walked out and went straight to her bedroom as Olivia followed and shut the door. Olivia looks Hayleigh over and notices the amount of blood on her sweater and she was not going to let that one go.
"I couldn't tell you
Why she felt that way
She felt it everyday
And I couldn't help her
I just watched her make
The same mistakes again"
Olivia grabbed Hayleigh's hand and squeezed gently. "I need you to pull up your sleeve." She said calmly.
Hayleigh tried to pull her arm out of her Aunt's grasp. "No! I don't have time for this shit! 30 minutes!"
"Hayleigh, let me see. Please." Olivia asked. Her chest ached when she gently pulled up Hayleigh's sleeve and her suspicions were confirmed. "Oh sweetheart." She gasped.
"Just, um, pretend you didn't see it?" Hayleigh asked. She really didn't feel like being backed into a corner.
"Baby, why?" Olivia asked.
"It was the only way..." Hayleigh said before she started crying. Her whole body was shaking with sobs.
Olivia pulled Hayleigh into her arms and just held her while she cried. "I'm here now. You're going to be ok. Shh." She said while she stroked Hayleigh's head.
Hayleigh was beating her self up while she cried in her Aunt's arms. 'Pull it together. You've been through worse shit than this!' She thought. She sucked up her tears and pulled away from Olivia. "I'm just gonna throw shit in my large duffel and suitcase." She said.
Olivia knew she was going to have to keep an eye on Hayleigh. She watched as Hayleigh packed all her clothes quickly. Within 10 minutes she was done.
"Can we go now please?" Hayleigh asked.
"Of course we can." Olivia said.
They both walked out of her room and out of the house to never look back. They put Hayleigh's bags in the backseat, got in the car and drove off. Hayleigh was silent and didn't want to speak.
Her Aunt decided to break the ice "We will be staying at a hotel tonight and then we fly out in the morning."
Hayleigh looked over "Okay." She tried to smile.
The hotel was only a few blocks away. Olivia got them checked in and they made their way to their room.
"I think I am going to go take a shower." Hayleigh said.
"Sweetie. please leave the door open." Olivia said.
'The hell?' Hayleigh thought. "You have got to be kidding me! WHY!" She shouted.
"Hayleigh, just...I'm not comfortable with you being alone right now." Olivia said.
"I'm 16! I think I can take a shower by myself!" Hayleigh snapped.
"Hayleigh Rose Benson. You will leave the door open or I will sit in the bathroom with you." Olivia said.
"THAT'S NOT FAIR!" Hayleigh shouted.
"Those are your choices." Olivia said. She folded her arms across her chest.
Hayleigh stomped over to her bag and grabbed a change of clothes, muttering under her breath.
"What was that?" Olivia asked.
"I said I guess I'll leave the damn door open!" Hayleigh said full of attitude.
Olivia stood up, towering over Hayleigh. "Watch your mouth."
"She can't find her place
She's losing her faith
She's falling from grace
She's all over the place"
Hayleigh rolled her eyes as she got into the shower. She turned it on scalding hot. Flashbacks of memories from the night before flooded her mind. She needed relief but with the damn door open she couldn't. She tried to level her breathing. She looks down at her legs and picks a scab wide open. As the blood ran down she could breathe. She let the scalding hot water pound against her skin. Olivia walked by the restroom to go to her duffle and grab a change of clothes. She walked into the bathroom and noticed how hot it was. The curtain was see through and saw the blood running down Hayleigh's leg.
Olivia yanked the curtain back and dropped her clothes when she saw cuts and scars all over her Niece's body. "What is that?" She asked.
Hayleigh just continued to stare at the blood trailing down her leg before it mixed with the water and went down the drain.
Olivia turned the water off and grabbed a towel. She wrapped the towel around Hayleigh and helped her out of the shower. "Honey, you don't need to cut yourself anymore. What's wrong? I knew there was something when you called me this morning." Olivia said kneeling down in front of Hayleigh.
"Nothing!" Hayleigh snapped. She held the towel to her body and walked into the room to get some of her supplies. It didn't even bother her that she was taking care of her cuts in front of her Aunt.
Olivia just stood there. She wasn't sure how to handle it but she wanted to get to the bottom of it.
Olivia followed Hayleigh. She was terrified to leave her alone at this point. "Sweetie, why won't you talk to me?"
Hayleigh began to cry. "Because there's nothing to talk about. Please stop asking."
"Her feelings she hides
Her dreams she can't find
She's losing her mind
She's falling behind"
Olivia's heart was breaking she used to know how to get her to talk but something has changed. She much more closed off than she used to be. She's turned into a frail hurting little girl. Her mind flashed back to the bathroom. Olivia could see all her bones. Something just wasn't right. Something happened to her. She starts to question the bruise on her eye. But she was to scared to push her. Hayleigh got dressed in her baggy clothes and crawled into bed. She laid her head down on the pillow. Olivia laid down next to her. They turned off the lights and both fell asleep. But within an hour Hayleigh began to have a nightmare. She started kicking and screaming. "Please get off me it hurts."
Olivia heard that. She knew she heard that. The words bounced around inside of her skull. She sat up and turned on the lights. "Hayleigh, wake up." She said softly.
Hayleigh sat up and screamed. "NO! STOP! STOP! STOP!"
"Sweetie, it's ok. It's just me. We're at the hotel." Olivia said. She grabbed Hayleigh's hand.
"Aunt Liv?" Hayleigh asked. She had to be sure the woman was really there.
"Yes baby. I'm here." Olivia said.
Hayleigh snatched her hand away from Olivia. "Whatever you heard, just forget it ok? Because I don't want to talk about it." She said before rolling over and pretending to fall back asleep.
"I can't do that Hayleigh." Olivia said. There was no way in hell she was going to let that one go.
The next day, Hayleigh remained silent all the way to the airport. She said very little to her Aunt and it made her feel like shit. But she wasn't going to talk about this.
Their flight number was called and they were boarding the plane. They got on board and found their seats. Hayleigh popped her headphones into her ears and stared out the window while the plane taxied and took off.
"Hayleigh, I'm not going to give up on you." Olivia said.
Hayleigh just sighed and turned the music up.
"She's lost inside
She's lost inside"