The Doctor jumped slightly at the sound of gunshots. He had been strolling down the street of war-torn 24th Century Cardiff while waiting for the TARDIS to refuel, quietly avoiding contact with the paranoid, terrified citizens. But when he heard the shout of pain that followed the gunshots, he found himself running towards it, barely taking time to straighten his bow tie.
The shooters were gone by the time the Doctor reached the street the sound had come from. On the rain-soaked ground, facedown, lay a man in bloodstained clothing that didn't belong in this time period. The Doctor's eyes widened in recognition.
"Oh," he whispered. "Hello, old friend." He crept closer, kneeling down next to the dead body of Captain Jack Harkness. "It's been a very, very long time, hasn't it? What happened this time, eh?" Carefully, he touched one of the bullet holes in Jack's worn old coat, wincing at the warm blood. "I'm so sorry," he murmured. Then he stood up, preparing to leave him behind, but then he stopped, turning back around slowly.
He didn't want to leave him to wake up alone.
"Okay." From what the Doctor had gathered, the more violent the death, the longer it took the captain to return. So…
Suddenly, shouts and bangs rang through the air again. It was very close. The Doctor spun around in alarm, torn between running towards the commotion and staying with Jack. But he didn't have to make a decision.
Jack gasped, rolling over and springing up as life returned to his body. His eyes fell on the Doctor and he gazed blankly at the Time Lord for a moment before saying, "Whatever you think just happened, it didn't. Get out of here, it's not safe." Then he rushed away down the street, towards the sound of the fighting. The Doctor followed, of course, at a distance.
Jack's authoritative voice called clearly over the ruckus. "Hey! What the Hell do you think you're doing? There are kids living on this st-" Bang! Bang!
The Doctor turned the corner just in time to see Jack, arms spread wide as if to protect everyone on the street, as if to act as a wall of safety, get hit by a rain of bullets fired by invading soldiers. The Doctor didn't remember where they were from this time. Earth had so many wars. Jack crumpled in a heap before he could even cry out.
"OI!" the Doctor screamed angrily. "GET OUT!" He so rarely got angry, he surprised himself with his own ferocity. The soldiers, too, appeared startled. Scared, even. They scattered.
The Doctor went up to Jack, and lifted him up fairly effortlessly. Jack wasn't a small man, of course, but as a Time Lord, the Doctor could support his weight without much issue. As he turned around, preparing to bring the captain to the TARDIS, forgetting that Jack hadn't ever seen him in this regeneration, or, indeed, for several centuries, the Doctor saw a young child coming up to him cautiously.
"How can you carry him?" the child asked timidly. Her face was so smudged with dirt that if her voice hadn't given it away, the Doctor wouldn't have been able to tell whether she had been a boy or girl.
The Time Lord smiled at her gently. "I'm stronger than I look."
"Is he dead?" the little girl continued. "Only, it was nice of him to try and protect us."
The Doctor hesitated. "No, he's not dead," he decided on.
"Then he must be hurt pretty bad."
"Yes, he is. But it's okay. I'm a doctor. I'll take care of him," the Doctor reassured.
"That's good. Thank you, sir. You were very nice and very brave for doing what you did after they shot him," the child said.
"You're very welcome, sweetheart. I'm here to help. Always have been, always will be. Now, I'm going to take this man somewhere safe, okay? Be careful. Take care of yourself." The Doctor walked away, sickened by how this child's life was being torn apart by war.
The Doctor made his way carefully through the warring city, back to his TARDIS. For a minute, she refused to open her doors. Her voice sung in the Doctor's mind. No, you musn't bring that inside. It's all wrong. Please, Thief, I don't like it.
"Sorry, old girl. We won't be going anywhere, I promise. I just want to make sure he's okay." Almost grumbling, the TARDIS reluctantly clicked the lock open. Fine, my Thief. Be sure that he is alright before he leaves. Perhaps it will be good for you to have some company. The Doctor shouldered the door and pushed it open gently. It closed behind him as he set Jack down on the ground. The orange lights of the console and ceiling pulsed warmly. The Doctor leaned against the console with a sigh. The following conversation was not going to be pleasant.
The Doctor studied Jack's face as he waited. The immortal captain's eyes were slightly more creased than the last time the Doctor had seen him up close. Though it had been three hundred years, for Jack, he appeared only to have aged maybe four or five years. For the Doctor, it had been at least two hundred, and a regeneration that made him look like an enthusiastic twelve-year old. With no eyebrows. And a ridiculous chin. If Jack wasn't too busy being angry at him, the Doctor was sure he would make some comment on that chin.
What happens to the bullets inside of Jack? the Doctor wondered. Do they melt, or disappear? But matter can't be destroyed. They could just turn to energy. Or do they just stay inside of him, forever? That would be incredibly painful.
Suddenly, the Doctor realized that he should probably take Jack's revolver away from him at first. Otherwise, he might try to shoot the Time Lord before he had a chance to properly explain himself. He placed the gun on the other side of the console. Then, on second thought, he opened up a side panel and placed it inside. Jack still did not wake.
Two such violent deaths in one day would probably take a while to recover, the Doctor decided. No need to worry.
Of course, it was at that moment when Jack gasped in a huge gulp of air, raspy and desperate. The Doctor let him continue to cough for a minute with his eyes tightly shut. When Jack got his breathing under control, he looked up at the Doctor.
"This is...the second time you've been there when I've...woken up. What, you fancy me or somethin'?" Jack looked around. "Where the hell am I?"
The Doctor smiled sadly. "Don't you recognize it, Jack?"
Jack frowned at him. "How do you know my name?"
The Doctor didn't reply directly. "Look again." He stepped back from the console, gesturing towards it.
Recognition slowly dawned on Jack's face. "No…"
"Hello, Jack."
Jack stood up shakily, clutching the console for support. The TARDIS thrummed irritatedly at his touch. "Doctor?"
"It's me."
A huge range of emotions flickered through Jack's eyes. Among them the Doctor noted grief, longing, amusement, and rage. "Well, you've changed."
"That I have," he conceded.
"Bit of a chin, that."
Called it. "Yeah."
"How long?"
"Since I saw you?"
"Yes."
"Two hundred fifty years. Give or take. I haven't really counted."
"Two hundred fifty years," repeated Jack. "And you didn't think to come and talk to me...once?"
The Doctor shook his head quickly. "I've checked in on you. I check on all of you."
"What do you mean, all of us?"
"You, and Martha and Mickey and Donna-"
Jack winced. "I miss them," he said softly. "I used to check in on Donna, too. She never noticed me. I suppose it was better that way, but I figured...you would have wanted someone to."
With a pang, the Doctor realized that for Jack, they were all dead now. With a time machine, it was too easy to forget that others had to live through the deaths of the ones they loved, with no chance of ever seeing them again.
"Sarah Jane, too," Jack kept going. "She died really soon after the last time I saw you."
"I know." The Doctor hung his head. "I went to her funeral. Well...I was there afterwards."
"What happened to you?" Jack demanded suddenly, changing the subject. "Where were you, all that time?"
"I had a couple of friends. Amy and Rory Pond. Well, Williams. Except they'll always be Ponds to me. They were married. I only traveled with them sometimes. But they're gone now. Not long ago. And then there's River. But that's just...complicated." Silence. "You?"
"You mean, do I have anyone?" The Doctor nodded. "No one. Not since him." Jack's voice changed then, growing bitter and tired. "Not really. Not like that."
The Doctor winced. This was it. This was what he feared. "Jack…"
"Why didn't you save him?" Jack burst. He glared at the Doctor.
"Because it was fixed. Jack, Ianto Jones' death is a fixed point in time. Just as your life is."
"I guess we were the definition of 'star-crossed lovers' then, huh?" Jack's voice dripped with unamused irony.
Without missing a beat, the Doctor responded, "Yes. You really, really were. And it wouldn't have mattered if he had died in 2009 or in 2089, you still would always have lost him in the end." The Doctor's words may have seemed harsh, but he was trying to be comforting. He really was.
"I KNOW!" Jack shouted.
The Doctor backed up a little. "Jack…"
"And that's always how it's gonna be, isn't it?"
"I'm afraid it probably is," he admitted.
"DAMN YOU, DOCTOR!" screamed Jack. The Doctor jumped.
"I-"
"If you're going to say 'I'm sorry,' well, it's a bit late for that! There are just too many things for you to apologize for. You abandon me in the deep future, you don't explain anything. I waited for nearly two hundred years for you, and when I finally find you, you try to leave again, and get me locked up, tortured and killed for a year. And how many times did you not come and help me? When my...when Gray nearly destroyed all of Cardiff, when Toshiko and Owen died, where were you then? When the 456 came, where the hell were you, Doctor?" the captain ranted.
Something snapped inside the Doctor. "Looking after all of the other planets in the whole bloody universe!" he spat. "Earth isn't the only planet in the world, and Cardiff isn't the only city. Humans aren't the only race, and I can't babysit you constantly. My responsibility extends-"
Jack interrupted him. "Your responsibility? A person's responsibility is to their friends, Doctor. I thought that included me. I suppose I must have been wrong." He turned towards the TARDIS door and tried to pull it open. It wouldn't budge. "Let me out."
"I'm not doing anything," the Doctor protested.
"Let me out, damn it, you…" Jack pounded on the TARDIS door.
Silently, the Doctor wished the TARDIS would just let him out. Jack clearly was not pleased to see them, and this encounter was just going to get more uncomfortable the longer they remained together. "I swear, I'm not stopping you. It's the TARDIS," he said weakly.
"Oh, yeah, blame the spaceship." Jack hit the door again with a closed fist, hard. The Doctor winced as the TARDIS flinched inside his mind, but she still refused to let the captain out. "Blame anyone but yourself."
"I always blame myself," the Doctor murmured. "I don't think you realize that." Jack turned around, shocked by the tone of the Doctor's voice. "For every untimely death, every life that I should have been able to save. To bend the rules of time, to save the people I loved, don't you think I'd give anything to be able to do that? To do that for everyone? To save Donna, to see Sarah Jane again, or Susan, or Jamie and Zoe, or Romana, or Nyssa, or Cinder. To save Adric from sacrificing himself. To stop Rose from letting go of that lever. To stop River from dying in that library. To bring Amy and Rory back. To fix you, Jack. What I wouldn't give to save you." The Doctor had begun with his voice soft, intensely serious, but emotion soon took over, filling his words with such sorrow as Jack had only ever heard in his own heart before. Suddenly, the Time Lord was the broken one, and Jack didn't know what to do.
"Look...Doctor. I didn't mean…That wasn't what I meant. I know Ianto's death wasn't your fault. I know you couldn't have done anything to save him. But you could have done something. You just forgot I existed. You never came to talk to me, or to show me that you were all right. That's all." Jack stepped toward him tentatively. "For so long, I thought you had just died. I missed you so much."
"I missed you, too. I miss everyone I leave behind. And I am so sorry."
"I understand," Jack told him. "I can't say I really forgive you, but I understand."
"You're the only...well, besides River, you're the only person to see me in both this regeneration and the last one," the Doctor told him.
"I feel so special. How did it happen?" Jack asked bluntly. "How did you regenerate?"
The Doctor hesitated. "Everyone on Earth turning into the Master. Recall that?"
"When was this?!"
"2010."
"I wasn't on Earth. I left after Ianto...and I didn't come back until 2011. But, Doctor, the Master died. I was there. You burned his body." Jack was confused.
"He survived. And, well, a hell of a lot of things happened, but he was trying to bring Gallifrey back, and it would have plunged the universe back into the depths of the Time War. Long story short, he's back in the Time Lock of the Time War, and I was flooded with deadly radiation."
"Been there, done that. Not a pleasant way to go," Jack said off-handedly.
"Quite." There was a pause in conversation. "Do you still want to leave?" the Doctor inquired.
"Will she let me?" Jack gestured around them at the TARDIS.
"I'm not sure why she didn't let you out in the first place." The Doctor patted the console. "I think she's worried about me."
"Should she be?"
"Probably."
"You're alone."
"Yes."
"You shouldn't be alone."
"You're alone."
"That's true, as well," Jack agreed.
"Neither of us should be alone."
"Tell you what. You find someone, I'll find someone, okay?" suggested Jack.
"Maybe." The Doctor sat down on the floor of the TARDIS, leaning against the console. He motioned for Jack to join him, and after a moment of hesitation, he did. They sat in silence, a couple of feet apart. "You never really let me actually say 'I'm sorry,' you know."
"So say it."
"I am sorry. I am so, so sorry that I left you all alone for all those years. I'm so sorry, I am. I really, really-" The Doctor's voice broke. He drew his knees up to his chest, dropping his head down like an ashamed child, and something close to a whimper escaped him.
Jack sighed softly. What was he supposed to say to that? "357 years is a long time," he started. The Doctor looked up, and Jack pretended not to see the tear that had formed in the corner of one old, old eye. "Even for someone like us. That's how long ago I lost Ianto. My memories are starting to fade. I told him I'd still remember him in a thousand years, and now I'm scared I'm not going to."
"You will," the Doctor answered immediately. "I promise that you will. The memories of love don't fade that easily."
"I'm not a Time Lord. I don't have your kind of memory. I'm just a human."
"It doesn't matter. All across the universe, almost every single sentient species believes in the power of love. They believe in other things, sure. But in every ideology, every religion, every mythology or other type of belief system, all through time and space-the underlying belief is that love is eternal. Believe me, I've seen a lot of them, and I've studied their histories, seen their histories unfold. Not once have I found one that truly captures or explains the mystery and wonder of the universe, not even close, but...they show that all life is connected by love. No, all life has love. And you've got an awful lot of life, Captain Jack Harkness. Use it.
"And if you're afraid that loving someone else will make your memories of Ianto fade, or become less important, then you've got a heck of a lot to learn still. But you might as well try to be happy, because you've still got a while left."
"I've got forever left."
The Doctor didn't reply.
"Doctor?"
"No."
"What?"
"I seriously doubt I should tell you this."
"Tell me what?" Jack demanded.
The Doctor answered reluctantly. "That forever might not be as long as you think it is."
"And what the hell is that supposed to mean? You've said before, I'm a fixed point in time. I can't ever die. For as long as the universe exists," Jack clarified.
The Doctor made a snap, rash decision."You're going to die, Jack. It isn't going to be soon, but it's going to happen."
Jack breathed in a sharp intake of air. "What."
"You heard me."
"I don't understand. How do you know-how is that possible?"
In Jack's voice, the Doctor heard barely contained excitement. How terrible it was, for someone to welcome death. "I was there. When you died. For the last time."
"When? Oh, please, Doctor, tell me it's the truth." Jack was pleading, now, gazing at the Doctor with wide eyes.
"I can't tell you exactly when. I will tell you...you'll see me again. At least three more times. Once, when I'm still like I was when you first met me. Twice in my last regeneration. The second time will be your last, and you will tell me something that I did not know. You'll know what it is when it happens. You will speak...well. You will speak to the wanderer, to the man without a home, as I once heard it put. Just before you die."
"And I die for good?" Jack checked. The Doctor nodded. Jack let out a shuddering breath. "Are you…"
"I'm sure. I'm not lying, either, if that's what you were going to say. I swear."
"But...how…?"
"Do you need to know how? Isn't it enough that I know it happens?" the Doctor rebuked gently. "Everything's going to be okay, Jack."
Jack was clutching his head in his hands, staring straight ahead as he tried to wrap his mind around this possibility.
"Jack?" the Doctor asked, suddenly concerned.
"Gimme a sec."
"Okay…"
"Nope. Definitely not alright," Jack managed. He buried his face in his hands, shaking, breathing heavily.
Tentatively, the Doctor reached over and placed a gentle hand on Jack's shoulder. Jack stiffened at the touch, but didn't pull away. "I'm sorry. I probably shouldn't have told you."
"No, don't...don't apologize. Actually, thank you. I just...need a minute. Wasn't expecting to hear something like that today." Jack laughed tightly. "Bit scared, actually. I always say, you know, I want to die, whatever, but...the darkness scares me. Life is bad, but the place between feels like it's coated in broken glass shards, and every time I pass through, I'm just dragged over them, again, and again, and again. And the darkness...I don't actually know if it would be better to have that or this for eternity." Jack's breath caught in his throat.
The Doctor winced. Maybe this really hadn't been a good idea, to tell him. "Hey, Jack, look at me," he murmured. Jack glanced up at him. "The darkness isn't really that bad. I've been there, too. It isn't as lonely as those who come back make it out to be. I'm there, now, see, eleven of me. I'm barely connected to them, still, but they're still inside of me. And it is scary, and nobody wants to go. But you've still got a while left. It's going to be okay. I promise." That was all that he could say, the only comfort he could offer. But it was enough.
Jack stood up. The Doctor followed. "I should go," Jack whispered.
"I have to agree. I can't let you come with me."
"Thank you, Doctor."
"You're welcome. And I'm sorry."
"...I forgive you." Jack started to hold a hand out to shake, but changed his mind and reached out for a hug. The Doctor smiled and pulled his old friend in. "Your hugging is still just as good as it used to be before you regenerated," Jack murmured, squeezing back tightly.
"I should hope so." The Doctor didn't let go for another several seconds. "Goodbye, Captain. Oh! You'll be wanting this back," the Doctor realized suddenly, and he grabbed Jack's revolver out of the little compartment, tossing it to the captain, who stowed it away swiftly.
"Thanks." Jack grinned cheekily, just as he used to, and the happiness almost reached his eyes. "Goodbye, Doctor." He threw a sharp salute, and the Doctor raised his hand to his own brow, tipping two fingers off his quiff of floppy dark hair. Jack dropped his hand back to his side and turned towards the TARDIS door.
"Oh, and Jack?" the Doctor added before Jack could depart.
"Yes, Doctor?" He glanced back.
"Stop this fighting, if you can. Please. I can't remember exactly what it's about this time, but I'm sure it's completely unnecessary, and I trust you to help."
"Of course. I always do. I learned from the best." Jack winked, and walked out. Before the door even closed behind him, he turned back around. "And I stand by what I said, all those years ago. Maybe I was better off as a coward...but I sure wouldn't have had as much fun. See you in Hell." And then he was gone.
Jack walked back out onto the Earth, and the TARDIS sounded behind him. He turned. Watched it fade and disappear. Then the captain went off to end the war.
Random long one-shot that has nothing to do with any other of my stories. I always thought it would be interesting for 11 to meet post CoE Jack, and then this little story happened upon my imagination. It definitely expanded into something much bigger than I thought it would be, and it probably isn't the best thing I've ever written. But I hope it entertained/amused/helped you waste time. It was more of an experiment than anything, just a little thing to write while I'm not currently working on any multi-chaptered fics, and to publish as a sort of minisode after finishing publishing In Time to Live (a multi-chapter Torchwood story, see my profile if interested in a fairly suspenseful case/job/adventure-fic with quite a bit of Janto and quite a bit of Hurt/Comfort). (Also, I'm starting to work on a Nine+Rose+Jack adventure. Keep a look out!)
Oh, by the way, I imagine this taking place for the Doctor between Angels Take Manhattan and the book The Dalek Generation, closer to the latter, which (I dunno how many of you actually read the books, if you don't, you should, they're awesome, especially that one. And Dark Horizons. And Beautiful Chaos. And Only Human. And Stealer of Dreams. And...where was I?) takes place directly before Snowmen and gives more of an explanation of the Doctor's mindset in that episode. It's incredible and has a lot of the Doctor dealing with children, and was written by Nicholas Briggs...the voice of the Daleks.
Well, thanks for reading! I hope you thought it worth your time. Love you! Bye! *kisses towards screen and puts hand over camera like Amazing Phil*
~Clare