Hello again! DeanBeans the Mastermind without a plan) is here again to grace you all with her annoying presence. Please treat me kindly.
I am introducing this new piece of work that I have in my head for so long
I thought it was time it was put to better use than collecting cobwebs on my computer.
This unfortunately is unbeta-ed, buuuuuut I did try really hard to proofread and the like before it was put on here.
M for future yaoiy goodness.
I hope y'all like.
Disclaimer:
Another day, another success for the DeanBeans and BananaBoBo duo. Another heist pulled off perfectly and this time a blond with curly eyebrows was the new spoils. It was hard getting the blond to settle down enough for them to inject him with something to knock him out. Even though eh was chivalrous and would never hurt the duo since they were both women, he still ran like the gates of hell was on his heels when he realized their motives. By then it was too late. BoBo had pulled the van around while Beans had tackled the unsuspecting male from behind into the van, closed the door quickly and BoBo pushed the petal to the metal in a quick getaway.
Now that they had two extra mouths to feed, two captives to look after they had to be very careful. The partners had to be even more careful now because the new blond's owner would be just as angry as the scared faced blond's owner as well. Beans and BoBo have acquired all that they wanted to. Now it was time for going into hiding.
It was now Kishimoto-Sensei and Oda-sensei's move...
Zoro's a What?
"What? Zoro's a WHAT?"
The whole crew looked up in disbelief with eyes three times their sizes and jaws nearly touching the floor except Robin who had a contemplative expression. They looked between an equally surprised Zoro and the middle-aged man who brought them this surprising revelation.
Everyone stood as still as rocks waiting for the explanation that sure as hell needed to come this instant. Mostly it was Zoro, chronic napper extraordinaire, looked as if he were waiting for an eighteen-wheeler to show up and run him over.
"Well it is late and I must be going back but I will be sure to explain everything tomorrow. I bid you farewell and peaceful dreams."
As the messenger said his last words, he jumped of the boat then moved through the forest with surprising agility and speed for his age. The poor pirate crew was left more confused than they have ever been on any of their previous adventures.
The hell is going on?
Well to understand what the hell just happened we have to go back in time approximately 12 hours ago to when the Thousands Sunny first docked at 11:30 am…
The Straw Hat Pirates docked at a vibrant port on a lush grassy island decorated with a collection of small cities dotted throughout the land. Many of them were built into hillsides giving off a feeling of miniature cities small enough for little kids to play with. The view of the land was spectacular. (Think rolling hills in Tuscany Italy, absolutely gorgeous.) Different shades of greens shivered along the hills whenever the faintest of breezes would roll by. The mirage was like a free-flowing green liquid spreading fluidly along the land. It was peaceful…until that special someone broke the peace.
"ADVENTURE!"
Luffy screamed at the top of his lungs as he shot up from his seated position on top of the Sunflower's… no Lion's head.
"HELL no Luffy!"
Nami knew what was coming next but before she could stop it, the overexcited captain dodged to his left avoiding both her and Franky with grace. In a hop skip and a plunge off the side of the boat onto the pavement below, he was off going east in a strictly "Luffy" speed leaving dust clouds in his wake. Nami slapped her forehead in aggravation. Something's just don't change.
"Oh God! Somebody go and stop him before he causes trouble!"
"Yes! Nami-swaaan! Your humble fighting cook at your service!"
Of course, Sanji had to add some twirls and full body wiggles when speaking to his beloved Nami-swan. It had been so long since he has been in the presence of his fair maiden…any fair maiden for that matter. The cook shivered. Such bad memories.
Zoro huffed. Two years has done nothing for that annoying characteristic I see.
"Shut it Love Cook. There is no way in hell you will be able to catch up with Luffy now. Besides he'll come back when he's hungry."
And just like that his Nami worship was interrupted. Sanji turned his glaring blue eyes on the green-headed figure that interrupted his much-needed Nami Goddess time.
"Shut it shitty newly one eyed- Marimo. I do what Nami-swan tells me to not you, dickwad."
As Sanji finished his sentence, clearly visible veins started to pop out of the swordsman's forehead and neck. His eyebrow twitching in rising annoyance at the piece of shit cook. A wicked smirk slid across Zoro's lips as he stopped leaning on the mast and made his way slowly and menacingly towards the cook.
"You got some balls. Wanna see what new skills I picked up at the cost of this eye? Huh, dartbrow?"
Sanji took one long drag to finish his cigarette, dropped it to the ground and stepped on it crushing the remains. A smirk crept its way onto his face in response to the eminent fight. Oh would the blond enjoy this.
"Bring it shitty swordsman."
Nami slapped her forehead, once again, at the two idiots in front of her.
You have got to be kidding me. We've barely been back together for 2 weeks and they are already at it. You would think since we had no time to relax at Mermaid Island that they would be nicer to each other after so long. I mean that would be the normal action to take since they're… Oh right I'm not supposed to know.
The navigator giggled to herself and rolled her eyes. These two were foolish if they thought most of the boat didn't know about their not-so-secret relationship by now.
Zoro grasped the hilt of one of his swords and slowly slid it out of scabbard. The swordsman never lost his cocky smirk for a second. The cook readied himself by pulling a new cigarette from his jacket pocket lighting it and propping his right foot in front of him ready to strike in a moment's notice.
"OK OK Stop. Since what Zoro said is unfortunately true, for now just go pick up supplies from the town." Nami gave a tired sigh. Why must I deal with these idiots?
Like a light bulb, Nami worship was back on.
"Yes Nami-swaaaan. You're so smart, the heavens must weep at losing such an intelligent and beautiful angel such as you."
With his battle forgotten and newly created pink hearts in his eyes, he made his way to the side of the boat in a wonderful wiggle fashion.
Thank God the psych procedures worked enough for him to stop bleeding every time he saw a real woman but… Chopper thought as a he watched Sanji performing his strange dances again without falling over from a massive nosebleed.
But one thing is still bothering me… why couldn't it cure his original idiotic behavior…
Stupid Ero-Cook. Zoro snorted not nearly as happy as he could have been if they had just had the damn fight. The swordsman wanted to see how strong the cook had gotten and he wanted the cook to see how strong he had gotten in return.
"Oi! Mosshead! We're going to the market."
Sanji jumped off the side of the Sunny landing gracefully on his feet on the dock below. He took an extra deep drag to calm his nerves. Damn it shouldn't be this hard to ask the damn Marimo to come along.
"Huh the hell I gotta go for?"
"Cause I said so now get your ass moving."
With that, Sanji turned around on his heels and promptly began to walk towards the lively town of people bustling to and fro. He was moving slow for the idiot swordsman to catch up, though he would never admit it.
Nami chuckled a little to herself. Oh I see he just wanted some alone time with Zoro. And by the look on Zoro's face he probably noticed too. Men are such idiots.
She turned to Robin with her hands raised to her shoulders and her head shaking form side to side. Robin giggled at getting a "there's no helping them" vibe from Nami.
The two were zig-zagging through the market. Zoro with his usual bored/scowl face and Sanji getting excited over new ingredients he hadn't seen or prepared before. Unfortunately, if you looked close enough, you could see the tension in each of their bodies. They were obviously forcing their nonchalance but the two men in question didn't seem to notice the other's discomfort. Unfortunate indeed.
Sanji was getting pissed. Since Saboady Island two years ago, he and Zoro haven't had any serious down time to just talk and catch up. As so as they regrouped after their time apart, the crew starting heading straight for Mermaid Island. Typical of the Strawhats, they weren't even there a good two days before trouble started and Sanji and Zoro were once again separated. He was hoping to have some alone time where the two could catch up, but the antisocial piece of grass hasn't said anything was being… well and antisocial piece of moss.
Sanji turned to the root of his problems hoping the look in his ocean blue eyes would tell the fucking Marimo to do or say something if anything at all. As if in answer to his mental rant, Zoro looked to his right, straight into the blue eyes filled with expectation.
Zoro sighed and turned to face Sanji fully.
"Sanji."
Zoro said softly in his rumbling voice. He raised his hand to stroke the cook's face and hair with tenderness in his hands and eyes that the curly eye-browed man had missed. It took them a while to get to this point in their relationship and right when they were beginning to explore it, the cook had to watch Zoro disappear before his eyes at the hands of that fucking Shichibukai, Kuma.
Zoro looked deep into Sanji's eyes still stroking Sanji's cheek tenderly. During his 2 year training with Mihawk, he had missed this blue and the soft golden hair that seemed like a halo around Sanji's head in the sunlight. He had counted the days until he could return to see his favorite blue and gold combination. Now, he had the fiery blond next to him again. Zoro usually wasn't one for mushy reuniting, but he could make an exception for now, for his cook.
Zoro slowly leaned into Sanji and lightly brushed his lips against the blonde's then kept moving towards the blonde's ears. God he had missed this man. Plus, the blond thought, this was a nice substitute to Zoro's normally crass attitude. Not to mention, Sanji shuddered, that island, that place of hell he trained on for two years...
"Sanji…"
The green-haired man all but sighed the name into his ear. It made Sanji shiver ever so slightly. The cook unconsciously moved closer to the swordsman wanting to feel more of his warmth. Zoro moved the hand from Sanji's cheek and placed it on the small of the cook's back pulling him a little closer. Sanji immediately cursed the groceries they were holding for being in the way.
"I missed you. I wanted to see you."
Zoro's voice was all but a raspy whisper in his ear nearly melting the blonde man in his arms. His earrings tinkled softly as he rubbed his nose into the blonde hair that smelt of sunshine. Zoro lightly pecked him on the cheek and pulled away slowly not wanting to separate but still wanting to see the look on the cook's face.
The blonde could barely hold back a shiver. He looked into the dark green eyes of his lover and saw the seriousness there. He could feel himself blushing uncontrollably and was pretty sure he was wearing an expression that said Kiss Me More and he could care less at the moment.
Zoro was two seconds away from forgoing the mushy gushy because the look on the damn cook's face was made for seduction. The swordsman would be all to happy to comply, but he remembered the last time he tried some PDA. Got his ass kicked all the way back to Reverse Mountain.
The swordsman sighed wanting nothing more than to push the cook down right here right now.
"Love cook."
"Huh what?"
Thanks to Zoro's voice, Sanji was finally able to break out of his Marimo induced haze long enough to listen.
"Look around us."
A small encircling crowd was looking at them since they were in the middle of the street. Some were whispering to their peers. Others were blushing and trying to look away but failing miserably, some whistling and cat calls and just stared blankly. What is with this market? The cook was way to damn confused.
After looking around at the crowd, the cook looked up at the swordsman who was now sporting a beautiful grin on his face.
Sanji pulled away quickly trying to gather himself. Okay that was unexpected. I was caught up in the moment and didn't even notice my surroundings!
He looked back shyly at the swordsman who still had that smile dancing on his face. Sanji could feel the blush spread all the way to the tips of his ears. He bit his bottom lip for a little bit and shifted his eyes to the ground and finally managed to say something through his embarrassment.
"I did too." It was barely audible but Zoro caught it. His smile grew wider. More cat calls.
How the hell could these people hear us?
Sanji waited for a response while he was looking at the ground and still didn't hear anything. Slowly, the blonde looked up to see Zoro's reaction only to be blinded by Zoro's smile in its full glory.
The cook had never felt so tempted to either just melt or cover his eyes from the godly light pouring itself from the Mosshead's smile. Shit! Fucking Marimo flashing that godly grin whenever he pleases. Giving me fucking butterflies. Piece of shit muscle-head, trying to give me a heart attack… bastard thundercunt. Damn not good for the heart at all. God I missed that smile. It was so rare… Sanji looked away quickly anywhere was fine as long as it wasn't facing that smile. All right. The mushy had to stop as of now.
Go away snuggly wuggly feelings. Gotta keep cool. Gotta keep…Huh? What the…? The blue-eyed man whipped his head around in surprise. No way. Could a coincidence like this really happen? Hell, this had to be more than a coincidence: it must be fate! He turned a mocking grin in Zoro's direction happy there was something to distract his embarrassment.
"Hey Grass-head."
Zoro still had that fucking thousand-watt Apollo smile in place when he turned back to Sanji.
Shit! Calm down! Damn, Marimo stop smiling! Oh hell! I am going to, no, need to wipe it off. The master of cool, calm and collectedness pulled a cigarette out of his pack pulled out his lighter and lit up. He took the nicotine filled gas smoke into his mouth holding it in his mouth for a while and then blew it out in a steady stream. Oh yeah he was calm now.
"Seems like we found the right city for you. Take a look around, Marimo number 1."
What the hell is the cook talking about this time? The surrounding crowd that they were sporting before had dispersed seeing as nothing else was going to happen between the two. The swordsman took a look around and dropped his bottom jaw in astonishment. How the hell did neither of us notice this before? I thought it was weird when everyone we passed kept saying welcome back and shit and even gave us stuff for free.
Of course the cook just had to interrupt his thoughts with a comment.
"Everyone here has the same shitty hair color and tanned skin you do. Though on the women it looks Juuuuuust Heavenlyyyyyy! The Grand Line has many weird things no?"
Sanji snickered. Actually, Sanji had come to think that this combination was pretty damn sexy, especially on Zoro, but there was no way in hell he would tell this muscle for brains. At least…not yet.
He was right. All of the people had the same hair color: green. Yeah, there were varying shades of green but still green nonetheless. As for the tans, it was the same. There were also differing levels of tan skinned. Kinda blended in to the scenery. Zoro couldn't believe this. He thought he was the only one in the world who had green hair. He was about to give Sanji a piece of his mind for cackling like an idiot next to him when he immediately felt a pressure on the back of his neck…like being watched
He whipped his head around, expecting to see someone suspicious. All he was met with was the same hustle and bustle of the market place with the same people. The person who was watching them had probably already left. He felt it again from a different angle and immediately focused on a spot that opened into an alleyway.
At the time, Sanji was still giggling to himself over the absurdity of an island of people with green hair. When he finally came out of his laughing spell, he looked up at Zoro waiting for the man to jump back at him with an insult. Instead, what he saw was an unusually serious face that seemed to scream "Caution." Sanji was startled at the suddenly cautious air around his green haired companion.
"Yo. Zoro what's wrong? It can't be that bad could?"
Zoro's thoughts were cut short as he turned to the worried look on the cook's face.
"Nothing" he grunted. It must have just been his imagination. The feeling disappeared as soon as he had narrowed down the direction. Oh well. If they want to start something Zoro and the cook would be more than happy to finish it.
"…If you say so shitty swordsman."
After helping load the boxes and barrels of food and water on the ship, Zoro immediately made his way up to his favorite room at the highest point of the Sunny where his weights were, claiming something about summer heat leads to tiredness so he needs to sleep or something else equally ridiculous. Lazy ass bum of a first mate.
" Swordsman-san is very predictable." Robin chuckled. This crew was so weird.
"Lazy bum. I'm going to get started on dinner. Robin-Chwan, Nami-swan, I'll be going to the kitchen to cook your lovely meal."
He was practically falling over himself to get to the kitchen, but then he stopped and scowled. What was with that suddenly threatening atmosphere.
And there was a good atmosphere going on too. Shitty Bipolar Marimo.
The rest of the crew watched as a mumbling cook walked the rest of the way to the kitchen to start the dinner.
Nami and Luffy looked at each other and shrugged. They figured those two had just gotten into a fight as usual.
Sanji was putting the final touches on his feast when he heard a sharp scream coming from the deck. Nami-san? He dropped what he was doing immediately and ran out to the deck. His heart was thudding in his chest. Those idiots better not have let anything happen to sweet Nami or wonderful Robin.
"Nami-swaan I'm here to save…eh?"
What the lithe blond saw was not what he was expecting to see. There in the middle of the deck was a perverted old man groping Nami-swan's beautiful, voluptuous, well-crafted…what was he talking about…oh yeah. How DARE that old man touch a lady like that? Well at least Luffy grabbed him and sent him sliding across the deck.
Stupid fool. Luffy was quite protective of his woman. Wait. where did the rubber captain come from. He wasn't here earlier…guess Zoro was right he came back as soon as he got hungry. At least this time he wasn't chased by a horde of people after his hide.
The old man raised himself off of the wood floor and looked up just in time to see an extremely irate, pink and steaming (oh shit! gear second) Luffy coming towards him with fire in his eyes. The light green-haired old man was quick to throw his hands up in defense, scrambling to say something before he was pummeled into jelly.
"Wait, Wait. I apologize. It was such a fine behind and it reminded me of the time when I was with my late wife when we were younger. She died you see…" Were those crocodile tears? No one would fall for that and the damn bogus story.
Luffy calmed down a little, then he looked a little sad as if he was the one who did something wrong. He even bowed to the stranger! The Straw Hats could see the change as Luffy believed the man. They all sweat dropped. In the two years and the craziness in Mermaid Island they had forgotten how much of an idiot their captain really was. Luffy scratched the back of his neck in an apologetic manner and smiled brightly.
"I'm sorry. If it reminds you of your wife you may look but not touch since…"
Poor Luffy never got to finish that statement before the redhead gave a good punch to his head knocking him out. Damn her punches were still fierce. That's his Nami-swan for ya.
"YOU IDIOT HE'S LYING."
Too bad for her, Luffy couldn't hear a thing since he was unconscious. Sanji finally snapped out of his shock and ran over to Nami, giving a thorough examination (with his eyes) to make sure she was unharmed. Then he turned to the perverted old man with a fury the 7-layers of hell would be extremely proud of burning across his body. He sounded more like a wild animal trying to talk through growls than a human when he spoke, but it was quiet very near gentle. His appearance was one of controlled calm, which the Straw Hats knew was false. The rest of the crew slowly backed away, knowing that all that anger had to go somewhere soon.
"You Dare…"
" WAIT WAIT. Excuse me for my rudeness but I have business with the young man you were walking with in the market."
Sanji merely smirked. This man was trying to stall. As if his new victim would get away with daring to touch the angel that was Nami-swan. Then the blond frowned at the perverted man's previous statement. Not only did this man have the audacity to place his hands on an untainted heavenly being, he also had the nerve to target HIS Marimo. Not going to happen. Suddenly the cook's thoughts became much more gruesome.
Hehehe. What is perverted old man best served with. Duck sauce? No, the sauce will most likely overshadow the taste rather than add to it. Wait before that, I would have to tenderize the hell out of the meat. Next, what seasonings would be best? Paprika would be a definite no go…
"I request an audience with Zoora Ronoro please."
…Who the hell "requests audiences" with anyone anymore…
Nami scowled. What was with this old man? Was he senile?
"There is no one on this ship with that name you old pervert!"
"Hey!" both Franky and Brook yelled. "Don't knock old perverts!"
Oh god, Nami was getting a headache. That wasn't the point!
"But that's who I'm talking about. I saw him walking with you earlier."
The middle aged man pointed to Sanji who had an obviously confused facial expression while the man continued to stare at him.
"What the hell is going on down here?"
The crew turned to see a sleepy-looking lazy asshole landing on the deck having just come from the lookout. Knowing the swordsman, he only came down to yell about the screaming waking him up from his nap. Typical, but not what was on the blond's mind at the moment.
Just before Sanji was going to recruit Zoro into his "New discoveries of the wonders and magical tastes of the human body" experiment featuring one old man, said old man spoke first. But not before running over and kneeling down in front of Zoro as if he were royalty.
"Zoora Ronoro it is a pleasure to see you again. My name is Nozo. The king and queen are waiting."
…WTF
"What's that is it a new food." Luffy, as always, was confused while the rest of the crew stood stunned. Then the light bulb clicked in that stretchy raven head.
"What are you talking about? His name is Roronoa Zoro. Duh"
Nozo merely looked at the Straw Hat captain as if he were an idiot.
"I am aware of that. I was just practicing for the real deal."
…Huh? Now the crew was really dumbfounded. And as always Robin came up with a wonderful solution to it all.
"Why don't we talk over dinner and get the full story behind this. Sanji is the food ready?"
Nozo's eyes crinkled at the sides as he gave the archeologist a sweet smile.
"I will have to decline. I just wanted to be the first to greet the Third prince of the Zoora Kingdom upon his return at last."
…
And then there was silence. Only one thought thread between the 9 crew members.
"What? Zoro's a WHAT?"
Pheww! My word. That was a lot to write.
Well I hope are enjoying this so far.
Please Review my lovelies.
I need the finances to stay hidden with my partner in crime
and my two blond treasures (If your confused read the disclaimer.
I say two because I also recently acquired Naruto by devious means(mwaaahahahhahahahaha).
Oh read Kyuubi's Dilemma and that dislaimer then you wont be confused at all.
(Shameless advertising I know) (^_^)