First off I would like to say I'm a huge fan of Abridged Parody Series shows like
Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series by LittleKuriboh
MasakoX and Vegeta3986's Naruto The Abridged Series
Dragonball Z Abridged by TeamFourstar (Featuring Lani, Masako, Vegeta and LK)
and so if your a fellow watcher of them you'll see where an occasionally joke is referenced - which I'll give credit to.
I don't have the skills to do my own series like they do, and the only two I would would be Yu Yu Hakusho or Naruto so I decided to do something that hasn't been done yet (First goal was Final Fantasy VIII but that's been.. kind of done by Uncle Elmo) so I went with one of my other favorite Final Fantasy Tactics.
(This is based off the PlayStation Final Fantasy Tactics. I've not played the remake for the PSP so this may seem off to those that have played but I don't know for sure xD)
I am Alazlam, a scholar of ancient Ivalice history...
Have you ever heard of the "Lion War"?
I would hope, it's actually quite important.
It divided Ivalice in two over who
would be the successor to the throne
Now you can't say you don't know.
It ended with the appearance of a
young hero named Delita.
Well to be more percise it ended once
everyone was dead.
Everybody living here knows
this hero's tale... which
makes you wonder why I asked to
begin with.
But we also know that what
we see with our eyes alone..
isn't necessarily the truth.
...Oh wait, yeah it is.
Here's a young man.
He is the youngest son of the noble
Beoulve...pillars of knighthood.
...In theory.
There's no record of his playing an
active part in history but...
According to the "Durai Report" released
last year (concealed for many years by
church), this unknown man is the true hero...
Well that man as well as his team, cause
There's no way he did all of that alone.
The church claims he was a blasphemer
and anarchist-the root of all evil...
But is this the "truth"?
Well it's not like Churches to lie or anything.
Won't you join me on a
journey for the "truth"?
No, I'm not a cultist.
Inside the Orbonne Monastery, a young woman is praying to the Gods. A female knight and a priest watching her for some unknown reason.
"Lord, please help us sinful children of Ivalice.. and we'll promise to be better?" The woman asks.
"Princess Ovelia, let's go. I'm tired of watching you sit there." The knight whines.
Ovelia shakes her head, "in a moment Agrias."
"Really princess.. you spend more time in here than I do, you need a hobby." The priest suggests.
A knight and two squires comes in from outside.
"What's going on? It's been nearly an five hours!" The knight demands to know.
"Don't be rude to the Princess, Gafgarion." Agrias says glaring towards the Knight.
"You're really one to talk, Agrias." The priest adds.
The two squires behind the Knight kneel down while the Black Knight simply bows his head, clearly not caring much.
"Spending hours in a church, Agrias? This is an urgent issue for us." Gafgarion explains.
"So there are rude knaves even among the Hokuten?" Agrias asks surprised.
"You really don't know the Hokuten too well, do you? I'm being more than kind to the ones who can kick my ass. Besides, we're mercenaries hired by the Hokuten. I'm not obliged to show respect to you. We're here to kill people for money."
"What? How dare you!" Agrias shouts, insulted.
The princess stands up for the first time in hours.
"Enough. Let's go, I wish to visit another Church."
The two squires gets up on their feet. The princess walks over to the priest.
"Go with God." Simon says, happy to have her leave.
"No, I'm going Agrias, sorry." Ovelia happily replies.
Suddenly a female knight walks in with nasty wounds. The priest helps the knight out, but not by healing her off course, it's not like they have magic in this world.
"Lady Agrias! The enemy!" The knight warns her.
"Prince Goltana's men!?" Simon asks surprised, though the Knight was very vague.
Agrias quickly rushes out the monastery, ready to kick some ass even though she doesn't know the enemy's location or numbers. At a girl, Agrias.
"What one must do to make money. Well atleast I'm not alone." Gafgarion says noticing Ramza's face. "Right, Ramza? Your my friend, right?."
Ramza just stares forward, a blank look on his face. "I'm no longer a Knight. Just a mercenary like you."
Not really sure what to make of that, Gafgarion just nods. ".. That's right. I'll take that as a yes. Let's go!"
The Knight and the two squires goes outside, ready for their imminent death.
"Oh God.." Ovelia sighs.
"Seriousily," Simon starts. "Get a hobby."
Outside, the group sees the enemy, a giant group of about six enemies.
Agrias notices something. "The crest of the Black Lion!? What's wrong with Prince Goltana!? He's such an idiot! Does he want to start a war!?" The sheer idea of starting a war was far beyond Agrias's simple minded head.
"Knave! There's no point in resisting! Just give us the Princess, or that beautiful face of yours will be
scarred forever!" A random knight commands, the confidence inside him swelling to Seto Kaiba-like proportions.
The black knight and the two squires comes out to help Agrias and the others, who aren't important enough to get names.
"Fool! Only idiots attack head on!" Gafgarion shouts, knowing calling them idiots would lower their self-esteem enough for them want to be his friend.
Agrias steps forward, a determined look on her face.
"Leave this to us!" Agrias warns Gafgarion.
The Dark Knight scoffs. "We can't make money that way! Rad, Ramza! Follow me!! Kill them all! Don't leave any survivors! If someone does survive see if they want to hang out later, when this is over.. if they refuse, Kill Them!" He says knowing the outcome of the battle already.
Agrias shakes her head. "Nonsense! There's no need to kill them! That's just what Goltana wants us to do! Just let them go!"
"That's impossible! Why would Goltana want his own men to be killed, especially after they announce what they plan to do? Quit being an idiot, Agrias!"
Agrias ignores Gafgarion and starts to kill them, despite what she had just said. Though everyone participates, it's thanks to Gafgarion and Agrias the battle is won. Seriously, it's pretty sad. After the battle, Ovelia's scream is heard from inside the monastery.
"Let go of me! You're not God or a Prince!" The princess orders, only God or princes were allowed to touch her roughly
Agrias looks at the monastery, suddenly regretting leaving the Princess alone. This is almost for shadowing a future event.
"Damn!!" The knight says rushing inside the Monestary, assuming the Princess was right where she left her.
In the back of the Monastery, a Knight in gold armor pulls the Princess outside with him.
"Shut the hell up, before I make you shut up." The knight says, tired of her talking.
"Why should I listen to you!?" Ovelia asks, not really seeing her situation.
" What an annoying Princess." The Knight says sighing and then punches the princess in the stomach, knocking her out and puts her on his giant yellow bird. Agrias comes out, finally seeing the kidnapping.
Suddenly struck with brilliance, she stops moving and screams. "Wait!!"
The Knight stops suddenly, Agrias's plan working. "Tough...Don't blame us, even though we're doing this. Blame yourself or God.. but mostly yourself." With that, the Knight makes his grand escape.
Agrias runs after the knight, as fast as her scrawny legs will let her. Then, realizing she cannot catch the quick bird, she falls down on her knees. "Oh, God.. why her? Why not me?"
"Cause your an annoying!" The Knight says off-screen.
Ramza sees the the giant yellow bird.. as well as the Knight "...Delita? You're alive, Delita? But, why are you in Goltana's troops? Why..? Nothing makes sense anymore.. Delita? Delita? That word has lost all meaning now.. just like my life."
Delita's name appears for
the first time a year before
the Lion War broke out.
Many soldiers who returned from the war,
had no jobs, little money,
and even less loyalty to the crown.
Many became thieves and
rebels plotting rebellion
against the royal family.
At that time robbery and
murder were commonplace in Ivalice.
Mostly because of the thieves and rebels.
Strangely enough, many heroes and
wizards came out of there as well.
And Gariland was no exception either.