I sit in my rolling chair with my legs stretched out in front of me, staring at the scars on the too pale skin. Painful. Painfully lonely.
I can't take it. I can't wait any longer.
Standing slowly, I take each step in a dream-like state, with all the grace of a drunkard.
Kaito…
Reaching the glass cylinder, I press a clammy hand to the smooth and cold surface. A boy floating in a mixture of bio-acidic chemical fills my every vision and every crevice in my lonely heart. I let a sad smile cross my face for the first time in months.
Kaito…my dear brother.
I sigh and sink to my knees, pressing my forehead against the cool glass.
I am an odd specimen. An experiment gone awry. Cursed to be forever lonely in an anti-bacterial lab, working to bring miracles to anyone other than myself.
I was born from two chunks of flesh. Strange and grotesque as it may sound, it was and still is a scientific breakthrough. I was supposed to have a twin brother when I was created, but I absorbed both pieces whilst our creation. I chuckle humorlessly to myself. I am a selfish being even before I was born. All my life, I have been lonely.
I have been kept in this lab since I was small. I am Kagamine Rin, the "miracle" chemist. There is nothing I cannot do, nothing I cannot create and then take apart again. The only thing I cannot create is someone to keep me company.
Not until Kaito.
I open my eyes and gazed fondly at my creation—my brother. For years, I have cultivated him from flesh, just like I had been. Tenderly touching the glass separating us, I pray for him to open his eyes and to look at me with a companion's love. I have never wished for something so much as I have wished for more than this. Years and years have passed though and yet he hasn't awakened. My hand clenched into a fist.
What else is there left to do?
Haven't I done it all?
Miracle chemist. I scoff.
What use is a title if it cannot even bring me what I yearn for the most?—a brother, a companion to ease my lonely days?
I withdraw my hands from the glass, feeling that same familiar pain in my heart.
Kaito.
I stand, my knees creaking and my stomach roiling once again. I begin to cough violently until my pristine white lab coat is speckled with droplets of blood. Shutting my eyes in a silent plea to whatever god was truly out there—please let me live long enough to see him open his eyes and say my name.
But as usual, I receive no answer.
My laboratory only echo with the soft whirring of machines and the bubbling of chemicals.
Sometimes I wonder what the stars look like.
Are they big and bright or are they really as cold as I think they are?
Sometimes I wonder why humans like to stare at them. Observe them.
What do they hope to learn from them?
A secret? A cure?
An answer to their problems?
I never understood. I probably never will.
The human psyche is indeed complex—it is the one thing I have not yet studied the functions of.
I won't have the chance now.
I am sitting in my chair, staring at the monitor blinking the image of a heart.
A heart.
Turning my head, I gaze at Kaito's dormant body.
The thing he needs…
Is a heart.
I lean back in my chair, fiddle with the button on my lab coat.
Thousands of logical, sensible answers ran through my brain at top speeds, but I could not grasp any of them.
Does it matter?
My mind stops.
No, it doesn't.
I stand, slowly but with the grace of a ballerina I once saw on the television. Step after step—it all passes by in a second.
And I found myself shedding my lab coat. It falls to the cold marble floor in a heap of starched white.
Nude and scarred, I make my way to the tank.
Kaito.
I climb until I was at the edge, until I saw the neon blue liquid that fed him. I smile as I see his shock of blue hair floating.
He looks like an angel.
I reach my hand out.
Let me help you grow, Kaito.
Then, my body feels light and I am falling faster and faster until I am surrounded only by warmth.
Opening my eyes, I feel a lurch of happiness in my—no.
Our heart.
I smile as I gaze at his peaceful face.
I can already feel my body falling apart as each moment passes, but I don't care.
Ah…I'm leaving now…I reach my hand out to touch his face.
Suddenly, his eyes open and blue eyes engulf me.
A soft smile and a warmth I have never experienced grasps my heart as happy tears escape my slowly closing eyes.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Ah, it's so warm. This is the first time I nestled and when to sleep with them.
-Thank you. And, I'm sorry.
Good night, my -
INTEGRATION 100%
He smiled in his sleep.
What a wonderful dream.
AbomiT: I am a procrastinator with a soft spot for any Kokoro renditions.
Ha, well, the italicized part at the end came from the actual PV. I might write Kaito's POV from after he wakes up but it depends really.
Oh, but check the PV out. It's really sad.
.com/watch?v=Fpq_kpaq9kk&feature=related
Review as usual! :D