A/N: Here is my newest fanfic "Wounds can heal". I thought it'd be a nice story and I hope you agree. By the way, this story is also a slight AU in that it takes place in the canon over another story "A Mother's Justice". This is NOT a continuation of that story but it does reference the events of that story. This is set between episodes 22 and 23 when Asuka was falling deeply into depression following her mind rape by the fifteenth Angel and her helplessness during the battle with the sixteenth Angel.
Thanks to my pre-reader gunman
Disclaimer: I don't own Evangelion or "I'll take you through the night" which is owned by
Reinhard Mey.
It began as a typical morning at Katsuragi/Ikari/Soryu residence. It was Friday and Shinji was sleeping peacefully, until a very loud knock came on his door, waking him up.
"Get up, you lazy dork!" came all the too familiar demand of his German roommate. "I'm going to shower and I expect breakfast ready when I get out!"
"Good morning to you too, Asuka." Shinji replied as he dragged himself out of bed and headed to the kitchen. He began a breakfast of miso soup, rice and grilled fish. After his encounter with Soldiers of God he'd never go near uncooked fish again.
"More Japanese food. Can't wait try anything new?" asked Asuka as she entered the kitchen and yawned. After she yawned, Shinji could see bags under her eyes.
"Did you have trouble sleeping Asuka?" asked the boy.
"That's none of your business, baka." snapped the redhead.
"It's too early for this." said Misato as she entered the kitchen. She was also very sleepy but Shinji knew why: she hadn't slept well since Kaji was killed.
"Well it looks like you were busy." snapped Asuka, not knowing Kaji was dead she thought he and Misato were having sex.
"Cut it out Asuka." replied the Major, "Besides you don't look too good yourself."
"Shut up!" snapped the red-haired pilot who then stormed into the kitchen table with Misato behind her, the two began softly talking.
Shinji could hear some of the conversation, Misato was saying something to Asuka in a concerned voice but the younger girl wouldn't have any of it.
"I don't need your sympathy Misato!" yelled Soryu as Shinji served the food.
The three had a quite and breakfast plagued by an awkward silence that hung in the air. After breakfast Shinji quickly showered and dressed then the two were off.
At school, Shinji met up with Toji and Kensuke, Rei stayed to herself, and Asuka met up with Hikari, though just looking at her Shinji could tell something wasn't right. At lunch Toji and Kensuke could help but ask Shinji about Asuka.
"Hey Shin- man. What's up with Soryu?" asked Toji.
"She seems so moody. Especially now." added Kensuke.
"I don't know. She's been acting this way all morning." answered Shinji.
"You piss her off or something?" asked the otaku.
"Maybe it's just her period. You know how bitchy women get then." added Toji.
"Yeah, tell me about it." replied Shinji, off-handed.
"You have chores after school right?" asked Kensuke.
"Yeah then I have to go to NERV for my regular checkup. Why?" asked Shinji.
"The Class Rep will be there and she's the demon's friend. Soryu might tell her what's wrong." explained Toji while the three boys looked over to said two girls.
"That's a good idea." admitted Kensuke surprised by his friend's bright idea, which weren't often.
"I can't. It'd be look... awkward." said Shinji.
After school Shinji remained doing his after school chores while Hikari stayed behind for a student council meeting. Toji and Kensuke had gone to the arcade and Shinji's two fellow pilots headed to NERV for their checkups from Dr. Akagi. Shinji was nearly finished cleaning the chalkboard, which was his last chore, but his mind was on his roommate and ally.
"Hi Shinji, just wanted to see how were doing." said Hikari as she popped into the classroom fresh off her student council meeting.
"I'm nearly done. I just have to finish cleaning the chalkboard." replied the Eva pilot clearly distracted.
"Is something wrong Shinji?" asked Hikari growing concerned.
"It's just...Asuka is acting strange and I can't get her to tell me what's wrong. Honestly, I'm worried." answered Shinji.
"You noticed it too." said Hikari, worry in her voice, "I know she's been this way for a while. I asked her about it at lunch but she refused to say anything. I want to help her but she won't let me. "
Shinji could hear the sorrow in her voice. Hikari was genuinely concerned for Asuka and wanted to help her. It was no secret to Hikari that Asuka was collapsing mentally but now she was acting worse than ever. The only reason she was at home or at school was because Misato had forced her. Hikari was afraid she would do something drastic.
"Um Shinji, don't you have get to NERV?" asked the class rep, "I'll finish you have to go."
"Are you sure?" asked Shinji not wanting to dump his work onto her.
"Yeah. NERV is more important. You're guys save the Earth." answered the class rep, "Just do me a favor, please help Asuka."
"I will. Thank you." said Shinji who then bowed and headed to NERV.
It took Shinji a very short time to get to NERV and the sun was setting when he reached the top secret agency. When he arrived he saw Asuka storming out and didn't try to talk to her. With her mood Shinji didn't want to anger her more. Once entering NERV headed for his testing but bumped into Rei as she was leaving.
"Hello Ayanami." greeted Shinji as he walked by the First Child.
"Pilot Ikari, have you any insight into the mental disturbances that currently trouble Pilot Soryu?" asked Rei, causing Shinji to stop into his steps.
"No, I don't." answered Shinji feeling helpless to aid Asuka in her plight.
"I understand." replied Rei and a minute of silence lasted before Rei asked another question, "Does Major Katsuragi have knowledge into the situation?"
"I haven't asked her but I heard her talking to Asuka this morning, so I'm sure she does." answered Shinji.
"Pilot Ikari, please assist Pilot Soryu in whatever problems are plaguing her." said the First Child catching Shinji off guard. When Hikari asked him to do that it made sense since she was Asuka's friend, but Rei surprised him.
"Okay, but that's not like you Rei." replied the Third.
"Why is that?" asked Ayanami.
"You usually don't show concern for others." answered Shinji and Rei remembered Toji had told her the same thing before he piloted Unit-03.
"The Second Child and I slightly improved our relationship during our confrontation with the Soldiers of God." replied Rei.
"I see. Okay, I will." said Shinji and with that he was off. He arrived at Dr. Akagi's office and underwent his checkup but the whole time his mind was somewhere else.
"What could be wrong with Asuka?" asked Shinji to himself, "She'll never open up and I couldn't do anything anyway. I'm just an idiot like she always says so why bother? But I promised Hikari and Rei I'd help her. I can't let my friends down. But I do that every time I pilot so what's the use. If Mr. Kaji was alive he might know."
"Shinji, is something wrong?" asked Akagi as the boy got dressed.
"I'm worried about Asuka." answered Shinji who finished dressing.
"She did seem weird early." noted Maya, who was standing behind Ritsuko.
"Maya, put this information in the Magi please." said Akagi and the assistance did as she was told. With her gone Akagi could now speak frankly to Shinji, "Shinji, listen very close because I'm only going to say this once: Just leave Asuka alone. She'll be fine after the weekend so until then just stay quiet and out of her way."
"Please Dr. Akagi, tell me what's wrong." asked Shinji.
"Shinji, listen to my advice. Walk away and let this pass. Bringing it up will only make things hurt more. She needs to be alone." replied the doctor.
"Okay." said Shinji caving in. He should have figured nobody would help him.
Shinji headed back to the apartment after his checkup. Misato was at the table drinking and looking over paperwork while Pen-Pen watched TV.
"Hello Misato." said Shinji before asking cautiously, "Where's Asuka?"
"She's in her room. Just leave her alone Shinji." answered Misato gloomily, "She put a sign on her door promising death to anyone who enters."
Shinji headed to his room stopping by Asuka's. On her door she saw the sign in German hanging on Asuka's door. Shinji stood outside her door for several minutes and even raised his hand to knock on the door before thinking better of it. Eventually he headed to his room, threw himself on his bed and put in his S-DAT ear buds into his ears, pressing play.
After fifteen minutes Shinji headed to kitchen for food. Knowing it was Misato's turn to cook Shinji had placed plenty of leftovers of his own cooking to spare him, Asuka and Pen-Pen from eating Misato's bad cooking. Shinji passed Asuka's room and reached Misato who was still going over paperwork and drinking. The latter could be proven by the many empty beer can around her. Pen-Pen had departed to his room so as he entered the kitchen and put a leftover of his own meal in the microwave it was just him and his guardian.
"I can't help Asuka. I'm worthless enough as it is. I couldn't even help Misato when Kaji died." said Shinji to himself sadly as he watched the food spinning in the microwave.
Thinking about Misato brought him to this morning as the pilot poked his head out at Misato which gave him an idea. After debating it he and knowing he'd feel guilty later he decided to go ahead with it and entered the living room with his food and a can of beer.
"Misato" said Shinji as he entered the living room which caused his guardian to look up at him, "I brought you a beer. I thought you could use it."
"Thanks Shinji. You're such a good kid." replied the guardian who then took the beer still somewhat sober from the tolerance she had built up.
"No problem." said Shinji with a fake smile hiding his guilt as he sat down across from her to eat.
As Misato kept working, Shinji kept getting her beer hoping she would get intoxicated soon. Eventually Misato got to the point where she could barely stay in her chair.
"Hey Shinji, I-just-wanted to-say-you're such a—a-good kid. You've been-so great since you- moved in her." slurred Misato letting Shinji know it was time.
"Uh Misato." began Shinji still feeling slightly guilty about this.
"What is it- Shinji?" asked Misato slurring.
"I heard you talking to Asuka today. I was wondering if you knew what was wrong with her?" asked Shinji.
"She's depressed because because (hiccup) of the anniversary on Sunday." answered the drunk guardian.
"What anniversary?" asked the confused pilot.
"Asuka had a really f-fucked up childhood. When she was really little her mother ran an activation on Unit-02." answered Misato.
"What happened?" asked Shinji.
"It went haywire and while she lived her mind got totally screwed up. She confused a doll for Asuka and began doting on it while neglecting her daughter. Then her jackass husband began to bang her doctor and her parents divorced." answered Misato bitterly though very slurred.
"That's awful." said Shinji.
"It's not even the worst part." said Misato now getting more solemn, "When Asuka was three she was told she'd be an Eva pilot. She excitedly ran home only to find her mother hanging from the ceiling. She killed herself and Asuka found her dead body at only three."
Shinji sat speechless. He was absolutely horrified by what he'd just been told.
"After her death Asuka's father married his home-wrecker mistress and Asuka lived with them. This Sunday marks the anniversary of her mother's suicide so Asuka is feeling depressed right now. She's been having nightmares about it the last few days which is why she's been so tired. Wednesday morning I found her sitting at the kitchen table. It was 3 am and she was sitting at the table. I talked with her for an hour before I went back to bed, but I'm sure he she stayed up all night."
"Thank you Misato." said Shinji as he put his plate in the sink then headed to his bedroom.
Shinji threw himself on his bed and put in his S-DAT thinking about what Misato had told him and the promise he made both Hikari and Rei.
"There's nothing I can do." said Shinji sadly as he curled up on his bed, "I couldn't help Misato when Kaji died and I can't help Asuka. I'm worthless. The only thing I can do is pilot Eva and I even suck at that. I'm pathetic."
Shinji rolled over and noticed his cello in the corner then began thinking back to diner.
"Playing the cello and cooking are the only things I'm good at." said Shinji causing an idea to pop into his head causing him to become hopeful, "Maybe. That could work."
Shinji then began to plan.
Shinji was virtually alone Saturday. Misato would be working late both Saturday and Sunday while Asuka was held up in her room. The eerie silence filled the apartment disturbed Shinji who spent most of the day on the computer knowing he only had one day to prepare.
Sunday the same thing repeated but this time Shinji knew time was up. He went to a market that sold foreign food and got home then began his preparations .
"I hope Asuka likes this." said the boy as he began to boil the potatoes.
In her room Asuka caught the familiar smell of German cuisine coming from the kitchen. Unable to resist the urge she got up out of her bed. Her body sore from lying down without exerciser for two days.
"Oh, freaking light!" groaned Asuka as she shielded her eyes. She had slept in her dark room with the blinds down since Friday so her eyes were sensitive to the lights momentarily.
Asuka then headed to the kitchen where she found German food on the table and smelled more coming from the stove in front of Shinji.
"What are you doing, baka Shinji?" asked Asuka trying not to seem as normal as possible.
"Oh Asuka! I didn't expect you up so soon." answered Shinji surprised by his roommate.
"I have to admit I didn't think you knew how to cook German cuisine." said Soryu well Pen-Pen showed up to see what was going on.
"I only learned yesterday and this is my first time actually trying it out." replied Shinji, "I made potato salad from eggs, mayonnaise and gherkin to start. I'm making pork loin with sauerkraut and mashed potatoes for the main course, and schwedneisbecher for dessert."
"Congratulations baka you actually know German cuisine. Now if it tastes as good as it sounds or smells that will be an accomplishment. I'm sick of Japanese food anyway so a taste of home will be nice." said Asuka.
"Thanks." said Shinji who then decided to reveal his reasoning, "Misato told me what today is. Your mother's suicide."
"I kill that bitch!" Asuka snapped, " How dare she spill my personal information to the likes of you!"
"It was my fault. She was drunk and I asked her. She didn't know what she was saying." confessed Shinji.
"Of course she'd be drunk! God, she can't be sober for five minutes!" yelled Asuka still furious.
"Asuka listen, lots of people are worried about you including me. I want to help you so please let me." pleaded Shinji.
"I don't need your pity Third Child!" yelled Asuka.
"It's not pity, Asuka, I want to help you!" yelled back Shinji, "Why don't you want my help?"
"Because." answered Asuka.
"Because why?" asked Shinji pressing Asuka.
"Because." answered Asuka.
"Because why?" asked Shinji aggressively.
"You'll just leave me!" retorted Asuka before adding bitterly, "Everybody does. My mother, my father, Kaji. Soon you, Misato, Hikari and everybody else will leave me to."
Asuka then reached up and felt hot tears streaking down her face, "Goddammit. I swore I'd never cry again. Thanks a lot Third Child."
Asuka then tried to storm out of the kitchen but Shinji grabbed her right arm keeping her from doing so.
"You think you're the only one who deals with this shit?" asked Shinji now shaking and breaking down, "I was abandoned by my father at four, and he only summoned me here to pilot Unit-01. I originally didn't want to but he was going to make Ayanami pilot it."
"Why couldn't Wondergirl pilot?" asked Asuka.
"She was on a gurney. Her right eye was covered and arm was bandaged. I didn't have a chose. My father forced me to pilot." answered Shinji himself with tears streaking down his face now, while Asuka stood eyes-wide. She knew Shinji and his father had a very bad relationship but she had never been told this information about Shinji's past or his first time in Eva.
"You never told me that baka." said Asuka after a minute of silence, "Why didn't you?"
"You wouldn't care. No matter how much I try and be nice to you all I ever get is abuse back. Even when I go out of my way to make a full course German cuisine. You never care about me." replied Shinji bitterly.
"You're wrong." replied Asuka, "When you were nearly killed by the Soldiers of God. I was worried about you all the time, afraid you'd die. I was worried sick about you even getting closer to Rei."
"Closer to Rei?" asked Shinji confused.
"Me and her actually bonded a bit. If you though nobody was worried about you then you're stupider than I though, which is hard to believe." answered Asuka slightly laughing. It felt good to laugh and smile again, "Well since you went through all the trouble of cooking we might as well eat."
While Asuka went to sit Shinji pulled Asuka to him, hugging her tightly. Asuka was about to protest but not given the chance.
"Asuka, I'm never going to leave you. I'll be with, and I'm never going to leave your side. I won't abandon you." said Shinji causing Asuka be overcome by emotion and nearly breakdown crying.
"You idiot." said Asuka tears filling up her eyes.
The duo then sat down and ate. The food was absolutely delicious; the potato salad had the perfect mixture of ingredients creating a creamy delight, the pork loin was moist and tender while the sauerkraut and potato were also perfect, finally the dessert was to die for.
"You should try European cuisine more often baka, you're good at it." said Asuka as she relaxed in her chair stomach ready to burst with food.
"Actually, I have something else Asuka." said Shinji who then went to his room and came back with his cello. He sat down and began to play. Asuka's eyes widen as she recognized the song.
"The shadows getting longer,
The gray, whimsical grame
Sweeps around the house.
The day is made.
The fears come closer,
You are stell' n greater krall n' is fierce.
Firmly in the soul,
In your Traumgeäst.
Sometimes it is up to the other side of the night.
Like a light less tunnel, not end well-intentioned one.
I'll take you through the night,
I'll take you through the rough seas,
I'll take you through the night,
I'll take you from windward to leeward.
I'm your pilot, I'm your man,
I'm your sister, lean on me,
I am the friend who watches you,
I'll take you through the night.
Everything you think is harder,
Threatening and hopefully empty.
With the dark.
Coming from a dark time.
Distant memories,
The night whispers with a thousand tongues:
'They are all out,
You are alone at home!'
With your mute despair, and the crackling of the floor.
And the only consolation is the warm glow of the radio at your bedside.
I'll take you through the night,
I'll take you through the rough seas,
I'll take you through the night,
I'll take you from windward to leeward.
I'm your pilot, I'm your man,
I'm your sister, lean on me,
I am the friend who watches you,
I'll take you through the night.
Let's go, try to sleep
I'll bring you safely into port.
Nothing can happen,
Wolf Man and evil fairies.
If only one leave dancing
Before the window of the wind in the branches.
The chestnut tree,
A bad dream.
The dares won't come back until the new days begins.
Let's go, just follow me.
I know the way out of the labyrinth.
I'll take you through the night,
I'll take you through the rough seas,
I'll take you through the night,
I'll take you from windward to leeward.
I'm your pilot, I'm your man,
I'm your sister, lean on me,
I am the friend who watches you,
I'll take you through the night."
Once Shinji finished, Asuka just stared at him.
"Baka, that was beautiful. I didn't think you knew who Reinhard Mey was." said Asuka stunned by what she had just heard.
"I found the song online yesterday so the I had only one day to practice." replied Shinji humbly.
"Kaji took me to see him live at the Konzerthaus Berlin the night before we left for Japan. You're version was actually very good." said the German girl.
"Thanks Asuka." replied Shinji who then headed to his room and put his cello away. Upon leaving his bedroom he he felt Asuka embrace him.
"Don't ever leave me, you idiot." said Asuka whispering into his ear.
"I...I..I won't, I love you Asuka!" blurted out Shinji causing the redhead to look at him.
"I was wanting for you to say that." said Asuka before asking, "But, why did you break away when I kissed you?"
"I was nervous. It was the first time I'd ever kissed somebody." answered Shinji before adding with a laugh, "Not to mention I couldn't breath."
"Next time I won't pinch your nose." said Asuka who then kissed Shinji deeply, "I love you too, baka Shinji."
The next morning found Shinji finishing breakfast ready for school while Asuka had finished showering. Misato then staggered in tired from the last night.
"Morning Shinji." groaned the guardian as she sat down to eat.
"How's Asuka?" asked Misato knowing a certain girl should be feeling better.
"She's feeling better." smiled Shinji making Misato feel better as said girl entered entered the kitchen. She looked at Misato before kissing Shinji, on the lips, which caused Misato to spit out her beer.
"When the hell did you two get together?" asked Misato stunned.
"Wouldn't you like to know." teased Asuka while Shinji got up and the two headed off for school. While she was leaving Asuka looked back at Misato and mouthed 'thank you'. Misato smiled and headed out for work grumbling about being forced in the morning after two late nights. Heading to her office she ran across Dr. Akagi talking to Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki.
"Hey Misato. You look well rested." joked the doctor.
"I'm exhausted and I've had an odd morning. Cram it." snapped Misato.
"What's wrong Major?" asked the ex-professor.
"Asuka kissed Shinji then she mouthed 'thank you' to me before she left." answered Katsuragi.
"That's odd." said the doctor.
"Yeah. I've to work so I should be off"." said Misato who then left.
"So Shinji did find out about yesterday and it appears he actual managed to help her. Maybe there are things science can't explain." said Akagi.
"He's just like his mother." added Fuyutsuki.
At Tokyo-3 middle school the two pilots arrived at the classroom. Toji and Kensuke were talking about the usual: breast size of female classmates, Hikari was making sure she had all her school work, and Rei was staring out the window.
"Listen up!" declared Asuka getting everybody's attention, "The baka here and I are dating now so if anyone tries to steal him away you're dead!"
This naturally caused a lot of surprise in the classroom including Toji and Kensuke who fell out of there chairs.
"This can't be true!" cried Kensuke.
"It is and could you guys please lay off Asuka now." replied Shinji.
"No way! That demon has you brainwashed!" yelled Toji.
"I'll show you demon!" declared Asuka as she stormed over to the duo.
"Thanks Shinji." whispered Hikari while everybody was distracted. Shinji looked over to Rei who mentally said the same thing. The next sound was of Asuka smacking Kensuke and Toji's heads together.
After that things calmed down and the day began but Asuka and Shinji couldn't help keep looking over at each other knowing they would never be alone again.
A/N: That was longer than I though it would be. I just want to thank my friends and fellows author Sparda Sparda, for helping with the title, and Andreas von Eck for helping with the food and song. Thanks of all to you for reading this story. I hope you enjoyed it and will keep reading my other works. My next story should be out in two weeks. Please review!