I'm assuming Mashima had a good reason for Sorano being the spy instead of Cobra, but here's my take on what might have happened with our favorite poison dragon slayer instead!

Though I could not keep the CoLu entirely out of it, I mean really. That would be asking too much.

Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail.

Lucy squeaked as Natsu threw her off his back. "Hooray!" he yelled, leaping to his feet in his enthusiasm. "Somewhere that isn't a vehicle!"

Wendy also scrambled up, cheering and waving her arms in the air. "Whee!"

The blonde pulled herself to her feet. She couldn't find it in herself to be angry at Natsu – after all, she did kind of body slam him into the ground just a moment ago. Though in her defense, it was all Mest's fault.

"Where are we?" Erza asked, her arms crossed. She was deeply displeased with their mode of transportation, and it showed.

Mest winced, his wounds aching. "Geographically, we're just off the coast of Caracolle Island. Underwater."

"Underwater?!" Taken aback, Lucy glanced around her, wonder starting to replace her surprise. Walking over to inspect the windows closer, she could indeed see the ocean floor beyond. Hundreds of different fish swam past the opening.

"Look!" Happy shouted, beside himself with glee. "Look at all the fish!"

Carla was less enthused. "What's going on?" she demanded, eyeing the aquamarine sea with trepidation.

"I made contact with our intelligence agent," Mest explained. "They said to rendezvous at these coordinates. I'm assuming they have a good reason for it." Under his breath, he added, "Then again… knowing them…"

Erza frowned, shifting to get a better view of their new location. "What a weird place to meet."

Gray joined her, his hands shoved into his trunk pockets. "Looks like an underwater temple."

Experimentally, Lucy stuck her hand out to touch the window glass. Only to find that it had none, her arm suddenly plunged into the cool, almost crushing water. Swiftly, she withdrew her limb. "Hey, there's nothing in these windows…" she began to warn the others, only for Natsu to immediately stick his head out one of the other openings.

He garbled something unintelligible into the ocean, bubbles of air rising from his mouth.

Lucy wondered just how thick his head was to remain unaffected by the water pressure.

As the dragon slayer withdrew, Wendy gently scolded, "Be careful, Natsu-san!"

"Bubaba!" Natsu yelled in greeting to the fish and threw his arms up, ignoring the girl.

Suddenly, the building began to shake, and rumble beneath their feet.

"Now what?!" Gray shouted, frantically watching the walls for signs of collapse.

"Damn it, Mest!" Erza whirled on the direct line mage.

Now standing with the rest, Mest protested, "It's not me this time!"

"Wait a second!" interjected Carla. "Is it just me, or is this thing moving?!"

Ancient gears in the walls ground together, and parts of the temple began to shift. The columns fell, and the roof came apart. Reforming itself, wing-like propellers jutted out from the former temple's walls. They hummed for a moment, warming up.

And then the group was suddenly jettisoning across the ocean bottom.

"A vehicle…" Natsu and Wendy moaned, already out for the count on the stones that comprised the temple floor. They tried desperately not to vomit, the sensation of movement too much for them to handle.

"Yo!" a voice called out from behind a small wall.

"Someone's there!" Carla gasped.

Startled, the group turned as one to the source of the voice.

The low wall swiveled on a hidden platform to face them, revealing itself to be a throne in truth.

An occupied throne.

Lounging on the stone chair, a dark skinned man wearing swimming trunks grinned at the gathered Fairies. His toothy, half feral smile pulled the long, harsh scar over his right eye. Tilting his maroon-haired head to the side, he declared, "Welcome aboard the sailing temple, Olympia! I'll be your captain today!"

Lucy choked. "Cobra?!" she yelled, shocked at the dragon slayer's appearance.

"The one and only." He smirked at the blonde celestial mage. "Nice to see you all again! Do try to keep your clothes on, Stripper, no one wants to see that," Cobra sneered. "Also, Salamander! And the Sky Maiden. Don't even think about vomiting on these tiles. If you do, you're cleaning it up."

"Erik," Erza said levelly. "So you were the spy."

Standing up, the dragon slayer strode towards the group. "Redheaded monster!" he greeted Erza. "It's been… not nearly long enough."

Dismissing the member of Crime Sorciere, much to Cobra's visible consternation, Erza addressed Mest. "Making Erik the spy was a wise decision."

Mest promptly covered his face with his hands. "No, it was a horrible idea; I should have asked Sorano instead!"

Cobra rolled his indigo eye. "Stop complaining! You whine too much!"

"And you got caught!" Mest pointed out. "And the island disappeared because of it!"

"Oh like the walking feather duster would have done any better!" Cobra griped. Then he paused. "…Speaking of." He made towards Lucy. "Sorano had a message in case I ran into you."

Lucy jolted a little at finding the intimidating dragon slayer suddenly within her personal space. "S-Sorano?" she questioned.

"Angel," Cobra supplied.

"And his name is actually Erik!" Erza offered.

"Thank you, hammer-wielding psycho!" Cobra replied. "I think she got that!"

Quickly, before an argument could arise, Lucy asked, "So what did Sorano have to say to me?"

An odd look passed over Cobra's face for a split second. It was wiped clean by another one of his smirks. Reaching up, he prodded Lucy's collarbone. "She said to remind you that it was she who killed Karen."

Gray immediately shoved his way between them, glaring at the dragon slayer. "Back off," he warned.

Cobra threw up his hands in mock surrender. "Sure, whatever. Popsicle man. I was just delivering a message. And besides, Sorano would have done far more than just poke her."

Lucy shook her head, stepping out from behind Gray. "What does she mean by that, Erik?"

He stared at her for a long moment, silent. His purple gaze was intense as he regarded Lucy with what appearing to be a reluctant, burgeoning respect. At last, he replied, "You had best ask her that yourself."

Erza nodded to herself. "I expect the rest of Crime Sorciere will be joining us at some point, then?"

"That's the plan," Mest muttered unhappily.

"How did you convince him to be your spy, is what I want to know," Gray muttered.

"He owed me."

Clearly offended by this statement, Cobra interjected, "No way, perv! You definitely owe me for this. I've never owed you anything."

Mest threw up his arms. "And this is why I would have preferred Sorano!"

"You just like her feather bikini, don't even deny it."

"Knock it off, Erik," Erza said, the threat clear in her voice.

"I got it, I got it!"

From the floor, Natsu and Wendy groaned.

"Hey," Cobra hissed. "I thought I said don't get sick in this thing."

"Why aren't you affected URP," Natsu mumbled, sweat pouring down his body. "Aren't you… GAG… one of us, too? Or is your magic that weak?"

Instead of taking offense, Cobra snorted in amusement. "My element is biological in nature. Also, there's my secondary magic to balance things out. So no matter how powerful I become I. Will. Never. Have. Motion sickness," he taunted.

"I hate you."

Wendy let out a tiny, pathetic cry. "Where… is this thing… going…?"

"Hell?" Natsu suggested.

Cobra exchanged a glance with Erza at that, a look that did not go unnoticed by Lucy. "Not even close, Natsu," he said, stepping over the other two dragon slayers' prone forms. "We are, however, going to where that old fart Makarov is."

Stunned silence descended upon the group.

"You…" Erza sputtered. "You mean to tell me you found out where our Master is?!"

Another feral grin split Cobra's face. "Of course I did! You doubt me?" With a laugh, he began walking to the throne. "Shall we, then?"

The end, I guess.

Maybe I'll make another of these based on next week's chapter, too.