A Very Special Arthur-The Remake!
Disclaimer: This fanfic is a remake of the classic Shinjinator fanfic "A Very Special Arthur" which had to have been, without a doubt, the best Arthur fanfic of all time. Until it was deleted :( So I decided "fuck it, Imma re-do it!" and here it is.
One day in Elwood City, Muffy was having one of her classic pool parties. "Oh Muffy, thanks for inviting us here," Arthur said with glee. He loved when Muffy had pool parties, and was even more amazed that she invited him there in the first place, being the spoiled little bitch that she is. "Of course you do Arthur. You should feel privileged that I even look your way, you pleb," she scoffed as she walked off to do rich people stuff. Just as Arthur was about to make a witty remark, he heard the sound of Binky calling his name. "Yo Arthur, bet you can't dive off of the big diving board," he bragged.
Arthur, being the competitive little bastard he is, decided to prove the fat closeted gay bulldog wrong. "You're on," he said as he climbed a seemingly endless ladder. Just as he reached the top though, he almost practically pissed himself. "uhh, err...I..maybe some other...," but before he could finish his sentence, Binky shoved him off of the diving board and into the pool.
The adults were confused as to why the kids were making such a commotion outside, but then they realized, with wide eyed horror why. Arthur had fell into the pool with such force he landed on his head on the bottom and passed out. "Binky you fat fuck, you're going to pay for this," David Read said as he rushed Arthur to the car and sped off to the hospital.
Days passed by as Arthur lay in his coma. Classmates visited, teachers visited, his parents visited, Shinji Ikari "visited" before he was chased out. But then his parents recieved a miraculous call. "Mr and Mrs Read, please come immediately, we have excellent news," so they did just that.
They went into room he was in and leaned over to look for signs of improvement. "Doc make this quick, the newest South Park is about to come on, and I do NOT want to miss it," David said. Arthur's mouth began to open and just as the parents were about to say something...
"PEOPLE AREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE IN MY FACE!" he screeched and he started to throw a tantrum in his bed. "What the fuck?" Jane said through her teeth. "Well," the doctor said, "We have good news and bad news, the good news is that your son had awakened from his coma," and sighed as she looked at the shrieking aardvark boy, "the bad news is, that his brain is permanently damaged from the fall,"
"Holy fuck, so you're saying that..." Yes, you're son is now retarded," the doc said. "You said you had excellent news, what's so excellent about our son being a ree-tee?" David said. The doctor could only reply with a sigh as she gave Arthur a shot. "Owww, pointy thingy hurts," He whined as he started to throw another tantrum. The doctor turned and said, "You can take him home tomorrow." "Fuck my life," Jane and David whispered in unison.
Stay tuned for what happens next!