Iceland what was many would call a shut-in.
He only left his house when doing so was absolutely necessary. His puffin often accused him of being antisocial, but the truth was that the boy was just extremely socially awkward. In other words, HE NEEDED TO GET LAID. BADLY.
Hi, I'm Norway, and this is the story of how I changed my brother's life.
It all started on a saturday morning. I was tapping my pen om my desk impatiently, waiting for my elusive brother to make an appearance. He did have an appointment after all. And it's not like he would get lost in the building, seeing as the sign on my door clearly states that this is my office. I was getting really bored of waiting, so I started to doodle on the paper. A creaking of the door drew my attention away from my masterpiece, and lo and behold! Little Iceland was glaring at me.
He took a seat, still scowling, his eyes shooting daggers at my face. What an ordeal it had been to drag him out here. Well, I've heard from his puffin that it's a difficult task to drag him to the convenience store. I sat across from him in my plush armchair and took out my notebook.
"So, Iceland. Glad to see you've finally taken my advice and come to pay me a visit." I drawled emotionlessly, although my brother could tell I was really smug about this whole situation. "Just make it quick, please. I really don't need a psychologist." he stammered angrily, as if this entire situation's purpose was to humiliate him, which was true.
"Let's begin. Why are you here today?"
"Because you told me-"
"WRONG ANSWER."
Iceland sighed pitifully. "Because I have no friends. Because I never leave my house."
"So, you're lonely?" I smiled. He was playing right into my hands. "I suppose you could call it that, but I'm happy with the way my life-"
"WRONG ANSWER."
My brother groaned. "What do you suggest I do?"
"That's more like it! So, for starters, you need a girlfriend." I droned, scribbling some pictures of my brother's facial expressions into my notebook. I glanced up. Iceland's jaw had dropped a little, and his face was starting to flush. "No way! I just need one or two friends is all! I don't even know how-"
"WRONG ANSWER."
He shook his head violently. "No. I can't do that, I'm sorry."
I stared at him, leaning closer and closer. This was how I convinced him to do my laundry when we were younger. I guess my eyes creep him out or something.
"ALRIGHTFINEI'LLDOIT!" He blurted, forcing me away from him. "Excellent." I wrote something down in my notebook. I tore the piece of paper out of my notebook and handed it to him. "Ecupid? Are you kidding me?"
"Nope. I expect you to have made an account by tomorrow morning. And I want you to send me a link to your profile so I can make sure you're following my instructions."
"You just want to stalk me, don't you?"
I smiled. I have been told many times that my smile is incredibly unnerving, which is the main reason I try to keep my face as expressionless as possible. "Maybe."
Iceland stormed out in a huff, but I had no doubt that he would soon be pretty popular with the ladies. Well, online at least.