My head canon about why France calls England 'mon petit lapin'.
Enjoy!
Mon Petit Lapin
"Stop calling me by that ridiculous nickname, frog!" England demanded when France called him 'my little rabbit' again. "Why do you even call me that, anyway?"
France smiled, knowing that England did not remember what happened not long after the French took control of the country after the Norman Conquest, when France became caretaker of the then child nation. He became quite fond of the little personification, although he hid it behind little digs at England's clothes, hair and general lack of fashion. England did not seem to like France very much and defied him whenever he could, in whatever way he could.
And, of course, one of those ways involved magic!
After 1066 ….
This time, England would get him. England's faerie friends had discovered that England possessed magic and were teaching him how to use it and he decided to use it to teach that teenage-looking, snail-slurping, frog leg scoffer a lesson.
The small, green cloaked child-nation took some chalk and drew a circle on the floor, drawing magic symbols inside and putting candles here and there. He lit the candles and concentrated on the spell he was going to use to turn France into an actual frog.
The candles cast shadow and light over England's little face and messy blonde hair, making his emerald eyes bright, despite being over shadowed by his huge eyebrows as he began to chant.
However, this being his first spell and, of course, this is England we are talking about, he had not got it quite right. Some of the markings were wrong and he pronounced some of the Latin wrong in his chant.
With surprising results!
France was looking for England, concerned about the little nation. England kept disappearing and talking about his faerie friends when he did return, making France question the sanity of his little Angleterre. He would have to stop the little Sourcils (eyebrows) from wandering about on his own, it was giving him strange ideas.
As he wandered through the house he had built for him and England, there came a strange rumbling noise that caused the ground to shake. Then …..
BOOM!
It came from the basement and France ran down the stairs, finding a strange green smoke rising up to meet him. Strangely, it did not make him cough or impede his breathing in any way but it still worried him. Where had it come from and what was that explosion?
"Angleterre!"
As the smoke cleared, France could see a little body in a green cloak on the floor in the middle of a chalk circle and it was not moving. France raced down the stairs to the unmoving form of England and turned him over. What he saw made him speechless.
England still had his blonde hair and eyebrows but sticking out of his hair were a pair of floppy rabbit ears. He had a twitchy little nose with whiskers and buck teeth. As France picked him up, his hand brushed against a bump on England's behind and he realised that England had a rabbit's tale.
How had this happened? It had to be something to do with that explosion and the smoke. England was unconscious but he was breathing easily so France did not think England was injured. Just turned into some kind of human rabbit!
France took the little rabbited English nation upstairs and put him to bed, wondering what he could do to help him. He could hardly get a physician to look at him, not without the healer screaming witchcraft and trying to burn England at the stake so France would have to take care of England himself but just what had happened to him?
France put his hand on England's forehead but England did not have a fever and his breathing was normal. He had no injuries that France could find. He just seemed to be sleeping. France sat with England for a while to make sure England did not take a bad turn, then he went down stairs to clear up.
Down in the basement, while picking up the candles on the floor, France got a good look at the chalk circle on the floor. Was this something to do with England's transformation? France did not remember it being here before. Had England been dabbling in magic? Not that France himself believed in magic, that was for silly, superstitious humans. He thought about leaving it but if the wrong person should see it, it could bring them trouble that France did not want to deal with so he scrubbed it away.
The little human rabbit woke and sat up, his nose twitching as he looked around. He hopped out of the bed and ran to the door that France had closed on his way out and tried to open the door. He jumped up at the door handle but he could not reach it. He went to the floor and scratched at it, trying to dig under the door but, other than gouging grooves in the floorboards, he was ineffective. After a while, the little rabbit gave up and jumped back on to the bed, huffing in irritation and hating his restriction. He lay on his stomach with his head on his hands, quickly growing bored. Then he had an urge to start gnawing on something and his eyes turned to the wooden head-board.
France decided to check on England and made his way up the stairs but stopped when he heard a scraping noise coming from England's room. Oh no! What now!
He opened the door to see England, awake, and gnawing away on the wood of the head-board of the bed.
"Angleterre, stop that!" France ordered. England turned and looked at him and then at the open bedroom door. He jumped off the bed, darted through France legs and out the door. France ran after him.
"Angleterre, come back here!" But England ran down the stairs rapidly, his new rabbit body lending him speed. He kept evading France as he chased him around until he became trapped in a corner and France finally caught him and picked him up.
"Well, mon petit lapin," he smirked as the human rabbit squirmed in his grip. "Being a rabbit has not quelled your spirit, I see. But how did this happen to you and how can I change you back?" Rabbit England just looked up at him. He seemed … confused.
Rabbit England looked up at the face of the blonde, blue-eyed boy with the beginnings of a beard that was holding him. There was a tinge of recognition but not full remembrance of who the boy was. But his hold felt safe, like the boy was seeking to help and/or protect him so the little rabbit snuggled against the boy.
France froze as Rabbit England cuddled up against him, something fully-human England would never do without being made to. Rabbit England seemed to be seeking comfort from him and it felt …. nice! Rabbit England was warm and, now that France really looked at him, very, very cute!
Rabbit England felt the boy hold him tighter and he stuck his head in the space between the boy's shoulder and his head. France moved to rub his cheek against Rabbit England's hair. He would never get this kind of affection from Human England so he was going to enjoy this while he could.
Rabbit England's stomach gave a growl and France realised he needed to feed him but what did you feed a human rabbit?
He took Rabbit England into the kitchen and put him down on a chair at the kitchen table then began to pull out ingredients to make dinner. When he put carrots on the table, Rabbit England immediately grabbed one and began gnawing on it with his rabbit teeth. He looked up at France still chewing.
"Is that what you want to eat, Angleterre?" France asked. Rabbit England did not answer and went back to gnawing on the carrot. After he finished that one, he reached for another so France made himself a meal and shared it with Rabbit England but England stuck with his carrots.
While Rabbit England chewed on his carrots, he watched the blonde boy as he chopped vegetables and prepared meat. He tried to chop the carrots but England grabbed them to save them from the knife. And then continued to eat them.
The blonde boy tried to interest him in eating some of the food he had prepared but England did not like it and stuck with his carrots. When he had eaten his fill, he hopped of the chair and ran out of the kitchen.
France followed the rabbit nation as he ran around the house like he was exploring, leading France to wonder if England remembered anything from before his transformation. It would explain why he accepted affection from France when normally it would earn the French nation a scornful retort and perhaps a bruise or two.
"Angleterre!" he called out and Rabbit England's head appeared from behind a chair which he promptly began gnawing on.
"No, Angleterre!" France scolded, picking him up. "We do not chew on the furniture!" Rabbit England's nose twitched in confusion and France thought it was adorable.
The little human rabbit did not know why the blonde boy did not like him gnawing on the wood. He was told him not to when he caught him but the human rabbit just had a urge to gnaw. Perhaps if he gnawed on something else.
France spent the day chasing Rabbit England around the house who was scurrying into every nook and cranny, exploring the house. Rabbit England had impressions of knowing the house but did not remember it clearly and so was reacquainting himself with it. He found something else to gnaw on but discovered that France was no more enamoured of him gnawing on his boots than he was of him gnawing on the furniture.
Darkness fell with a gathering of clouds and a slight rumble outside, which made the little human rabbit twitchy. He did not like the rumbling and he could feel the disruption in the air. Something was coming, he could feel it and he was scared.
"Time for bed, Angleterre!" France called. The little human rabbit looked round at the blonde boy who picked him up and took him up to his room. After dressing Rabbit England in a nightshirt, he settled the little animal-like nation in the bed. Rabbit England seemed antsy but France could not work out why.
"No need to be scared, Angleterre," he reassured, ruffling England's rabbit ears which he seem to like. Then he picked up the candle from the table beside the bed and went to the door.
"Bonne nuit (Good night), Angleterre," France said and closed the door.
The little human rabbit huddled in the bed as another rumble sounded outside. He huddled down in the blankets when a flash of light lit everything up. As he huddled in the dark, the rumbles got louder and more frequent until they became deafening booms.
After a particularly loud boom, the little rabbit leapt from the blankets and off the bed, scrambling at the door. He wanted to find the blonde boy. He felt safe with the blonde boy.
He leapt up at the door handle, missing it by inches and tried again. Then he braced himself and sprang again. This time he caught the handle and the door opened.
He scrambled out of the door and began searching the rooms. Luckily, France had not shut his door and Rabbit England climbed on his bed and began huddling close to him.
The storm had kept France awake so he knew someone had entered his room and then he felt someone climb into his bed and wriggle up to him. He looked down to see the little blonde-haired, rabbit-eared adorned England, cuddling close to him with his eyes shut tight.
Of course! France realised. England is afraid of the storm. Normal rabbits would be so it made sense that England would not like them, maybe he had not before. Another way that Human England and Rabbit England differed. Human England would rather suffer than seek out France's comfort.
France put an arm around the trembling little human bunny and England burrowed deeper into France comforting presence. It was nice to be needed by someone, even England!
"Bonne nuit, mon petit lapin," he said, again and kissed the little bunny on the forehead. Rabbit England settled and was soon asleep. France smiled and rested his chin on England's head, feeling the soft ears against his skin and soon followed England into slumber.
"Arrgh! What am I doing here? Did you put me in your bed, frog! What kind of pervert are you?"
After the initial shock of the rude awakening wore off, France sighed as he watched Human England scramble away from him and out of the bed. Whatever had changed England had been bound to wear off but did it have to wear off so quick!
England backed out of the room as if he expected France to pounce on him at any moment. When England disappeared out of door, France smiled sadly.
Oh well! It was nice while it lasted!
No, England did not remember when he accidentally turned himself into a human rabbit. He went back to being temperamental and generally refusing to do anything France told him to. France hoped that, one day, England would remember the affection he showed when he was a cute little bunny. It was not looking lightly right now but France could dream.
And smile at his memories.
"What are you smiling at, frog?" England snorted. "You make me nervous when you smile"
"Perhaps one day, you'll find out!" France replied, enigmatically.
"Mon petit lapin!"
Given how often England's magic goes wrong, it kind of makes sense that his first spell would have been a disaster. :P And I hope you liked my explanation for France's little nickname for England.
Hasta la Pasta!