My Smexy Guy Umps

Disclaimer:I do not own these characters. They sadly belong to School of Rock. I don't own the songs mentioned in this ff. I don't own the briefly mentioned ladies of Triple Delta or Alpha Espilons, and if there are any greek groups called those, I don't mean anything by it, I swear! I luckily don't own Jes, nor her screwed up song. I do however own me, which makes me feel better. I wish I owned School of Rock... but then I might be expected to actually do something and that's just a bad idea...

Oh yeah... Zack/Freddy sex! Warning

For Padfoot... Never again comment on my typos. They lead to odd stories, like this one!

Life never truly goes the way we want it to. It... It's always confusing... I sit here, smoking another cigarette, typing away and all I can think is that life just fucked me up the ass...

No wait... That was Zack who fucked me up the ass. Right.

Freddy grinned as he looked back over his shoulder. The glare from the computer's screen barely lit up the room, but Freddy could see the lithe body. His eyes trailed over every inch, pleased when he realized the satin sheets clung to Zack's body perfectly. Freddy could see the curves that just hours ago he was sucking... biting... kissing... His eyes drifted to Zack's angelic face. It was only when the brunet was asleep that he looked like he was truly relaxed. No song to write... No class to get to... No parents to please... No, Freddy suspected Zack's life was one constant battle to please everyone, and failing to please himself. That was about to change. Freddy turned back around, putting out his cigarette. Some things needed to change. Including an explanation to Mr. Mooneyham as to why Zack would no longer be that man's whipping dog.

Freddy grinned wickedly as his fingers flew across the screen.

Dear Mr Mooneyham,

Ibet you remember me, seeing as I was at your house everyday til Zack and I went to college. Guess what? I'm tired of seeing you yell and bully your son. It's time to taste a bit of reality... You're a joke. A washed up business man who screwed up his family. Your wife can't stand you, and your only child is a shadow of who he should be. So now I'm going to say this: stay away. Zack's mine, as in we're-screwing-each-other-so-back-off. We'll still be together after you've drank yourself to death. I believe we've covered everything. We might be down for Christmas.

Sincerely, your son's sex toy.

Freddy Jones

Freddy chuckled slightly. That should cover everything. The blond hit save before turning off the screen. In one fluid motion he striped himself of his boxers and climbed into bed with his Zack. As he put a single arm possessively around the brunet, his mind flashed back to about 12 hours earlier.

Must not jump Mooneyham... Freddy thought as he watched the other boy think. No, not boy... Man. Zack was 21... A junior in college. He was no longer a boy, and Freddy needed to remember that. Freddy was currently trying to talk Zack into agreeing to go out tonight. A night of drinks, no pressure from mid terms, or the horrible breakup Zack had recently with Katie. It was time the boys went out, got drunk, found two chicks and got laid. Preferably not with each other... Not that Freddy would mind. He had accepted long ago there were a few guys he liked. Zack happened to be one of them. He knew Zack was bi, having came out before Billy! Now if only Zack would relax.

"Mooneyham, make up your fucking mind. I don't have all day," Freddy growled. Zack looked up, grinning. Both knew they were each others' best friend. There was always time.

"Yes Jones. I know how much it means to take a mere five minutes away to talk to me. Why, the ladies of Triple Delta must be dying from lack of you."

Freddy laughed. "They'll live. Plus I'm not exactly welcomed back there. Something bout corrupting pledges and having slept with about half the house." Freddy grinned sheepishly. "What can I say? I love brunettes!"

Zack arched an eyebrow but decided not to comment. He knew Freddy was probably being slightly unrealistic. More like one-third the female population in the house. His eyes locked onto Freddy's and he felt himself give in. "Alright Spazzy, I'll go. I guess I can finish my sexual philosophy paper tomorrow, but you get to tell Dewey why 'Living to die' won't be finished tonight."

Freddy sighed mentally. Dewey was the two's manager. He had created School of Rock, the band the two were in, but Dewey was also hoping to drop a single during the school year. The band had spent their teenage years touring and making it big. After almost ten years, it was amazing the group still went strong. The last two years Freddy, Zack, Katie and Summer had asked for a break. A chance to go to college. In two years time, Summer was just a few credits short of graduating. Zack and Katie had covered the basic classes, and Freddy was um... trailing slightly behind. They still spent their summers touring, and helping upcoming rock bands. Summer and Dewey had even created a new record label: Rock 101. Still, with all they had accomplished in the last decade, Freddy knew he and Zack needed a night away.

"Deal. You just make sure you're ready in a few hours? Okay?"

Zack nodded before walking off. Freddy grinned, already plotting out a few things.

About 8 o clock Freddy pulled up beside Lee Hall. It was one of three independent resident halls. Neither Zack nor Freddy had wanted to join a fraternity, but both wanted to live on campus, thus Lee and Mars Halls. The two buildings were on opposite sides of the campus, but the two didn't mind. Summer lived in Mars Hall too, like Freddy, but Katie had joined the Alpha Epsilons. Freddy parked the car and trotted up to the building. He went up to 205, Zack's dorm room and pounded.

"Yo Mooneyham! Get yer arse out here!"

The door flew open as Zack rushed out. Freddy's eyes went wide for a second. Zack, unintentionally, looked gorgeous in black jeans and a black t shirt that made his naturally pale skin seem to almost glow. He had a silver dagger pendant on a silver chain around his neck. It had been Freddy's birthday gift to him years ago.

"Man, I can't believe you kept this," Freddy said, fingering the dagger. Zack looked down, shrugging.

"I thought it was kinda cool, but come on Jones. I doubt we're going to talk about necklaces all night. Let's go."

"Whatever you say," Freddy whispered, leading the way out. Zack's eyes glittered as he stared at Freddy from behind. Maybe Katie had been right. Maybe there had been someone else... Zack had found himself many times in the last few years thinking a lot about Freddy. Maybe tonight Zack would make his move.

The two made their way to the Marauders' Pit. It was Freddy's favorite place, because anything could, and often did happen. Just last week one of the owners, Rainy, spent an hour chasing another owner, Danny, around the bar, trying to drown him in a barrel of mead. Freddy had felt that was a bit unfair. Danny had only tried to sell Rainy to the customers... Prostitution wasn't a crime punishable by death... but Freddy wasn't going to argue it with a fuming Rainy.

The blond scanned the room. There was the beautiful mullato owner, flirting with who Freddy hoped was Jarvis, her boyfriend. Danny, the only male owner, was busy pouriung drinks as the last two, Celeste and Ayleen were busy betting a group of guys at pool. All in all, it was Freddy's type of bar. Freddy was slightly shocked to see a karokee stage.

"Oi! Jones! Who's the vampire beside you?" Danny called out from behind the bar. Freddy saw Zack tense a bit. Freddy put an arm around Zack's shoulders, hoping the brunet would relax around strangers. Freddy half guided, half dragged Zack over. "This, is my best friend, Zack. Zack, meet Danny. One of the owners here." Zack gave the man a weak smile.

"Bit shy, no?" Danny muttered. "Oh well. What can I get you?"

Freddy put a finger to Zack's mouth. "Careful what you say. The drinks here aren't like most bars." Zack quirked an eyebrow but allowed Freddy to order for him. Fredy paused, thinking.

"I want... a Screaming Black Dragon... and for Zack... a... Firestarter." Freddy grinned. Danny shrugged as he went to make the drinks. He set a dark red drink beside Zack as Freddy got something looking very much like pepsi. Danny laid his drink before them. "Bottoms up. We'll need it. It's karokee night." With that the bartender shot down something that looked a bit like a normal beer. His face clinched as if he had bit into a sour lemon before he shook his head, grinning. "I hate the aftertaste, but I can't stay away from the Golden Death."

Freddy laughed as he raised his glass. Zack held his, uncertain. "Cheers," Freddy said, tossing his head back and drowning his drink in one perfect move. Fire raced down Freddy's body as he felt his stomach revolt against the drink. Sweat started to form as Freddy sighed. He loved the Dragon line of drinks here. He was about to order a second when he heard a loud crash. Zack had drowned his too, but he hadn't been prepared for the intense taste. Fire shot through the brunet's veins, and Zack had fallen off his stool. Freddy looked over, amused. "Problems Mooneyham?"

"Shit, what was that?" Zack looked up, grinning slightly.

"That was a-"

"Hello everyone!" Both guys turned to see a cheerful college chick on the stage. Freddy's eyes widen in horror. He saw all four of the owners start muttering. Danny and Rainy were both trying to make it to the employee only lounge.

"My name's Jes. I just wanted to say, I love everyone! This song is for Rainy and Danny! My two best friends!"

Danny and Rainy froze, plastering fake smiles on their faces as they pretended to be interested in the singer. Freddy stood up. "We should probably head out," Freddy said, pulling Zack to the restroom.

"Why?"

"You seriously don't want to hear her sing." Freddy knew all too well who this was. He groaned as Jes started singing a Fall Out Boy's song. It took a few moments before Zack started wincing at her voice, but he was determined to see the song through. He broke that vow when she started singing "Wishing to be the freak shit in your jeans!"

"Let's go." Now it was Zack dragging Freddy into the mens' room.

The two laughed as they made it took the safety of the restroom. "I can't believe she fucking said that!" Freddy groaned. "It was a good song too, but now all I can hear is her!"

Zack grinned. "You keep talking like that and people'll think you like her. 'All I can hear is her! All I see is her! All I-' Hey! Shit!" Zack yelled out as Freddy tackled and pinned him to a wall. "

Freddy grinned as he looked into Zack's eyes. "Checkmate. I've got you pinned. You're at my mercy. I could do anything to you."

"Anything?" Zack cocked his head to the side. "Should I be afraid?"

Freddy leaned in, so his lips barely brushed Zack's ear. "Maybe." He noticed Zack shivered slightly as Freddy's breath tickled Zack's ear. Freddy pulled back to look into Zack's eyes. Maybe it was the drink in him, or maybe Freddy was just tired of waiting. Whatever it was, Freddy leaned in, kissing Zack. Zack kissed Freddy back, opening his mouth so his tongue brushed against Freddy's lips. Freddy knew a request when he felt one and quickly opened his mouth, as his tongue explored Zack's mouth. His hands went down, under Zack's shirt as one of Zack's hands started playing with Freddy's hair. The other went up and down Freddy's back. Freddy growled slightly as he tugged on Zack's shirt hem. He wanted Zack's shirt off. Zack pulled back and panic hit Freddy's stomach. What if they were moving too fast? Freddy's panicked eyes met Zack's, but all Freddy saw was happiness. Zack shook his head slightly. "Uh huh. We can't start making out in a public bathroom."

Freddy sighed as he nodded. "Fine. Later?" he asked hopefully. Zack nodded as he slide up beside Freddy, linking hands with the blond. The two walked out to find Rainy and Ayleen singing something about being rich women.

"You know, we have rooms for that kind of stuff," Celeste said with a wink as she walked by. "Nice hair Jones."

Zack blushed but Freddy grinned. "C'mon Mooneyham. Let's get another drink."

Freddy turned back to Celeste. "I think it's time to head out. I think Zack just said 'my smexy guy umps' which is a sure sigh he's drank too much."

The red head laughed as she turned to see Freddy's boyfriend singing with Danny, her brother. "Maybe you're right. I think it's possible, seeing as he's using Danny as a chair."

Freddy laughed as he paid Celeste before getting Zack. "C'mon Mooneyham. Let's go home."

"Home!" Zack cried out, throwing his arms over Freddy.

"Yes, yes, home."

Freddy drove Zack to Freddy's dorm, to sleep of the drinks. Zack's room mate was a bit of a prick. He hated it when Zack and Freddy had barged in before 'round three. Freddy turned the lock to his door and flipped the light on. He turned around to get Zack, only to feel surprised as Zack leaned in, kissing Freddy. Zack pushed them inside, kicking the door shut and pushing Freddy onto the bed. Freddy stared up at Zack as Zack threw his shirt off.

"Zack?"

"Pluck my guitar strings Jones," Zack growled as he went back to kissing Freddy. Freddy fell into it as he felt his shirt being slipped off. His tongue went back to rediscovering Zack's mouth as he felt Zack's hands undoing his belt. Freddy's hands wrestled Zack's body out of the jeans as he felt his own jeans disappear...

It wasn't long before the boys were both naked. Freddy stared down at the sleeping form of his boyfriend. Freddy leaned down to kiss Zack's forehead before going to the computer.

Freddy sighed, coming out of his memories. Zack was still asleep and dawn approached. The blond closed his eyes as Zack snuggled up beside him.

Maybe life isn't so fucked up after all...