A/N: This is my first try on a E/P fic. I just wanted to do this for a very long time. And today I just felt like finally trying out. Tell me your thoughts :)
Parker frowned a little as she noticed the first male nurse of her life entering her room. He was helding a blanket wrapped around a tiny human being. Her heart raced at the thought that this was her tiny human being. Her daughter.
"C'mon, baby girl, meet your Momma", the nurse said as he put the baby gently into the thief's trembling arms. He seemed to notice since he tried reassuring her. "It will be fine. It's okay that you're nervous. You'll get used to it."
Parker flinched as if she just got caught with her hands in the cookie jar. Suudenly she felt a soft hand on her shoulder. The nurse's hand.
"You'll be alright", he assured. Parker shook her head she couldn't hardly look in the peacefully sleeping face. It just... didn't feel right. She tried to give her back to him, but he refused.
"Please", the young mother begged, "I-I can't hold her."
"Why not?" He furrowed his brows.
"I-I'm afraid I'll break her", she replied honestly, dropping her gaze back to the baby's soft face.
He chuckled. "Really, Miss, I promise you that's not gonna happen."
"How can you promise that?" Parker was now teary eyed. She couldn't help, but let her mind wander back and forth and even further. She didn't mean to do this. This wasn't supposed to happen. She wasn't supposed to held her child. She wasn't supposed to even have this child. Yet she knew that she could never let her go. She should have it better than Parker. She's not responsible. "I've broken so many things already."
The nurse sat down. He hadn't taken the baby back and it really didn't seem like he planned on doing it soon. "This time will be different."
Parker was actually sobbing now. The baby's face was now at her belly and it felt strange even though the fabric seperated them physically.
It was harsh to realize that she would never ever be Parker again. She'd always be Parker with the baby. She'd never make a decision again, because it was good for her. She'd have to choose what was best for her daughter. This really scared her.
"It's natural. Plus, you wanted her, didn't you?"
Parker nodded, though this was a little bit of a lie. Truth to be told, she didn't want her. She didn't plan on having her. Well, she considered kids. But not then and especially not with... No, she didn't really want her in the first place. But she was too much of a feeling-person (really, she was, she just couldn't express them very well) to abort and she'd gone through hell too many times to give her child up for adoption. When she moved to live alone, though, she started liking the thought of never being alone again. She'd gotten used to people all around her.
Actually, she would've loved to stay in Portland. But she just couldn't. It would've broken too much and she'd destroyed too much already. So, she left.
At that very moment she needed them at her side. She needed them to tell her she'd be fine. She needed them to promise her that they'd never seperate. She needed them to assure her that she was loved and was able to love. Because, really, she wasn't sure whether she could love her own daughter for Christ's sake!
But they weren't there. The only person in the room was the nurse.
"You'll get used to it and soon you'll love it", he repeated. And Parker, willingly to change her situation for once, did as she was told. Pretending it were the boys telling her it would be fine.
After she'd calmed down she decided that her daughter was actually pretty cute. Never mind the stranger in her room she started talking to her. Telling her that she loved her and that she'd take good care of her and everything she'd always wanted to hear from her Mommy.
The nurse smiled and got up. "See? Isn't as hard, is it?"
Parker shook her head smiling.
"So... did you pick out a name yet?", he asked curiously.
The thief beamed. That was one of the things she managed without any further help from Archie or Apollo.
"Alaska", she said.
"That's nice", he told her and Parker felt like he was the only one, who really thought this was a nice name. "I come from a Alaska."
"Her father does, too", Parker said smiling sheepishly. She didn't even know whether she'd ever see him again and yet she felt like Alaska was the right choice for her daughter.
"Middle name?"
"Don't have one yet. I thought I might find something around here." She shrugged and the nurse chuckled. "What's your name", she asked.
"Mine? Paul Matthews", he stuttered.
"Alaska Pauline it is then... yeah, I think I like this." She smiled.
*
It had been a while since Parker left. Eliot and Hardison couldn't work together anymore after she was gone. Hardison was busy searching for her, while Eliot had the bad feeling that she left because of him.
He wondered, whether he'd see her ever again.
And he would. Sooner than he actually thought. What he couldn't know at this point were the circumstances. He couldn't know, that she'd track him down. And he couldn't know the thing she'd ask him for...