"Humphrey, what the hell is this?" She stormed into the loft, only to stop short noticing that her best friend, Serena was already there. She ignored the pang she felt in her chest, it seemed Serena always got what she wanted after all. Voice dripping with venom she addressed her, "Serena."
"Blair," Serena was shocked at Blair's hostility and brushed it off, choosing not to think of it. She looked from her best friend to her ex, trying hard to ignore the gnawing feeling that something was happening that she didn't know, "What are you doing here?"
"Well," Blair pointed an accusing finger towards Dan, "Would you care to explain what happened in this book?"
"Dan?" Serena was also interested, she had always assumed that Dan was still as in love with her as she was with him so you can imagine her shock when his book revealed he loved her best friend, Blair Warldorf instead.
"Serena, no offence, but can I please talk to Blair in private?" Dan looked between the two women before him, both of them beautiful, Blair more so than Serena. She was always genuine and never took advantage of him, when it came to him she was always honest, overtly so.
"Why?" Blair piped up, arms crossed, a defensive mechanism Dan had come to identify during their friendship, "What can you possibly say to me that Serena cannot hear, Humphrey?"
"Blair," Dan looked into her eyes, pleading, she turned her gaze away. If he looked hard enough he would find out. He could never find out. It would only hurt them both
Serena watched the silent exchange and decided to give them the benefit of the doubt, Blair was engaged to be married to Louis, she would not remain so if she loved another would she? Besides, that would be Chuck, not Dan. She hated Dan, right? And she was pregnant with Louis' baby, that was reassurance enough "Blair, hear what he has to say. I'll meet you later, at the apartment. Dan, we'll talk about this, tomorrow."
She walked out. The door clicked shut. The sound of her heels clicking grew gradually fainter as she walked away. And still, neither Blair nor Dan said a thing. Cars hooted outside, the noise of their beloved city embraced them as they stood there, before each other, the other trying to convey feelings they couldn't put in words, feelings that were a little too late to be said aloud. A particularly loud bang from within the building jolted them into reality, into now, where those same possibilities they were dreaming of were merely that, dreams.
"Well?" She asked again, making her way towards the loveseat fully aware that Dan was right behind her.
"It's fiction." Came the robotic reply from beside her, "Everyone is on my case about it, you know?"
"Oh?" she looked at him, and for the first time, she noticed the dark rings under his eyes. She noticed that his eyes weren't as bright as they usually were, "Even though, I am completely scandalized by my chapter, I thought it was pretty great."
"Really?" he looked so young, so hopeful, so vulnerable that it took all of Blair's self-control not to gather him in her arms and kiss the demons away. But that would not be good, for either of them so she kept her hands –and her lips- to herself.
"Really. It was really well written Dan." She put a hand over his, patted it awkwardly then withdrew, "Even the parts with me in them."
"You happen to be the only one who thinks so."
"It's true, you know?" Blair was shaking from the intensity of the inner battle she was currently fighting against herself. She knew she shouldn't, that it would only complicate things. That she would only hurt both Dan and herself in the process, but in this moment her heart didn't seem to care, "You are an amazing writer Dan."
"Blair," Dan took a deep breath, for him, it was now or never. She had to know. She had to know this little piece of information before she walked into a union she herself was unsure of, "There is something that I've been keeping away from you."
She stared at him, he stared back, "Dan, don't. You'll just make everything just that much harder."
"Blair, why are you always running? Why cant you just face something head on? Why can we never do that? Why do we always have to fucking hide?"
Tears ran down the future princess' face. She looked like the most precious porcelain doll, only broken severely and Dan knew he would do all in his power to heal his Blair.
He wiped her tears away, held her face in his hands, pulled her close, held his forehead against hers and breathed in the scent that was uniquely Blair as well as the Miss Dior she always wore. She raised her hands to circle his wrists, not to push him away but just to hold him, to have just that much more contact with him.
"Blair," he whispered against her lips.
A sob escaped from hers in a plea not to say the words that they both knew, the three words and eight letters that would tear her apart. She liked to live in a pretense of oblivion; if he said them they would be true.
"Blair," he kissed her tears away, "Blair I'm sorry." Only when he felt her small hands wiping his face did he realize that he too, was crying.
They stayed like that a while, tears streaming, eyes locked, foreheads fused together. Dan wasn't sure how much time had passed before he heard his broken whisper escape into the silence around them, "I love you."
"Dan," Blair was struggling to control the tumble of emotions she felt when those deadly words were uttered. She felt elated, her heart soared in happiness that he loved her too. But she felt so broken beyond repair, they could never be together. The baby she was carrying within her womb kept her from him and she couldn't even find it in herself to hate her baby and that made herself hate herself all the more: for trying to hate her own flesh and blood. Finally, after what seemed like hours, Blair whispered her own promise to Dan, "I love you too."
Dan sobbed with relief, gave Blair a watery smile that was fused with so much pain. Blair tried to give him a genuine smile, he deserved at least that much, and all she could muster was a slight turn of trembling lips that let out another heartbroken sob in the heels of the failed attempt at a smile.
Dan took her into his arms then, he let her sob her pain into his shirt as she had done so many times before.
"Why does it have to be like this?" she whispered once her sobs had subsided.
"We can't see each other after this, can we?" it wasn't a question, not really, because Dan already knew the answer.
She gave him a sad smile. That was all he needed and he knew. It was over. He could at least make the most of the last night he had with her.
"Make love to me." She voiced his thoughts, before claiming his mouth, drowning him in all things Blair.
If this was the last and first time she was to spend with the love of her life, she would make the most of it. It would be both the best and worst moment of her life. She always made fun of Shakespeare's Romeo, she was always under the impression that if there was a will there was always a way, now she herself realized, sometimes there would be no way. She realized that death would be redemption from a life without Dan.
Dan took her in his arms, carried her to his room, laid her on his bed as if she were made of glass, that any wrong move and she would shatter between his fingers, and leave him before he was ready to let go. The sad thing was that he didn't think he would ever be ready, he never ever would.
She pulled him towards her and kissed him with all she had. All her feelings, everything that was going on inside her was poured out into that kiss. He gave her the same intensity, he gave her everything.
She felt his hand slip into her blouse, she felt it ghost over her ribs, she felt it come to rest by her heart. She felt it glide over her clothed breast in question: did she still want this? She broke away, but only to rip her blouse off and away. She hooked her arms behind her back, and without hesitation, she whipped her bra off and threw it in the general direction of her Chanel blouse. She noted with bitter humor that with both her other suitors, she had always been very careful with her clothes. They always came first. For the first time in her life, there was something -someone who mattered more.
She sat before him, bared from the waist up, unafraid. Dan realized what she was doing; she was baring herself to him. She was letting him see her in her most vulnerable. He leaned his head down and captured one of the creamy globes topped by strawberries. He took her erect bud in his mouth; he loved it with the same intensity that he had loved her mouth, with the same intensity that he loved her. Blair was a blabbering mess by the time he came up for a kiss. She tugged at his awful plaid shirt, and pulled it over his head, parting with his lips only to divest him of it. Once the offending piece of clothing was gone she dragged her nails down his chest, scratching gently, lovingly, before pulling him down and connecting with him, skin to skin. Both let out a moan at that. Suddenly just feeling his chest against her wasn't enough, she wanted more.
She was drowning in a scorching blaze, everywhere he touched, liquid fire would erupt beneath her skin. She was hanging on a cliff, barely holding on and about to lose the battle. She wasn't sure when he got rid of her skirt, or her underwear but suddenly his mouth was there and she fell of the cliff like she never had with Chuck and certainly not with Louis. It wasn't just her body that reached that incredible peak, it was her heart too. It was her heart.
When she came back to reality, she felt fresh arousal brew in her womb at the sight of Dan, between her legs, lapping her up as if she were the most delicious pop sickle. She pulled him up and devoured his mouth, tasting herself on him and feeling all the more aroused.
Dan felt Blair's insistent hips, he felt her core rub against his member and nearly fell on top of her. His attempts were futile as he fell atop her when she grabbed her in her small, delicate hands, "Now. Dan, I need you."
His entry was slow, agonizingly beautiful and the best moment in Blair's life. She felt so full, so overwhelmingly complete.
When he loved her, he loved her slow, each stroke hitting that one point within her, each stroke touching her heart, filling it with even more love. Love she had never known she was capable of. She cried the whole time, at the discovery of that love and at the realization that this was all she would have, tonight. She cried because she realized that she would live the rest of her life without this.
With each stroke, Dan declared his love for Blair, over and over and over again. He wiped away her tears, barely keeping his in and when Blair fell of the cliff again, he fell with her, watching her face contort with pleasure, watching the love that blazed in her eyes and drawing it within him.
When they came down to earth, they remained embraced in each other, Dan still sheathed in Blair reluctant to leave a new found home, that was never his to begin with, Blair always belonged to someone else, never him, and she always would.
A knock from the door had them springing apart, collecting themselves and storing away the details of their night together. After one last heated kiss, Dan went to open the door and Blair schooled her features into those of the Queen Bee she had been born and bred to be.
"Louis." Dan held his hands in fists, trying hard not to punch the idiot in front of him for existing.
"Serena said Blair was here." Louis said as he walked into the apartment. He had shown up a day earlier from Monaco and had been worried about his fiancé when she hadn't been there and after midnight and he had given up waiting.
"Well, Louis you have nothing to worry about." Blair emerged from the bathroom looking immaculate, as if nothing had happened, as if she hadn't just had a life shattering experience. But Dan knew better. One look towards her eyes told him that she was just as broken as he was, "Dan and I were just discussing his book. I was reprimanding him for putting false records of the two of us in it. And then as an apology I stayed over to watch "Gigi" with him. I would have called but you were only due to come home tomorrow."
"I thought I'd surprise you." Louis embraced his love and held her close.
"It worked." Blair said with a small smile that didn't quite reach her eyes but then again, only Dan knew.
"Should we head home?" Louis asked.
"Just give me a minute;" Blair smiled at him and gave him a peck on the cheek, "I'll be right down."
"Alright," The prince held out his hand for Dan, who shook it, "Thank you for looking after her."
"It was no problem." Dan replied tightly.
Blair hugged him as soon as Louis was gone, she held him in her arms as he sobbed, crying for the love he was about to lose, "Just because we can't be together, doesn't mean I don't love you."