Chapter One: Prologue

Two years, six months and eight days ago. That is when I have last seen her. After I got back from Lia and Jeremy's shed, it became hard to trust anyone. I have never told her – or anyone else – about Lia kissing me, but that did not stop me from feeling extremely guilty about it, even if I was not the one who initiated it. I have learned to forget about these siblings. Jake set them up with a great manager, and I believe they are slowly getting somewhere. But I could never forget her hair, and the way they fell flawlessly around her face, or her eyes that lit up every time she smiled, or even her hands, which fit perfectly in mine when we intertwined our fingers.

However, I had to leave. I could not stay in a relationship that I could hardly trust. This time, it was not about the other one, I knew she was nothing like Chloe. This time, it was about me. I could not bear the feeling of failing her every time she looked at me sweetly, every time she put her arms around me and soothed me. A look into her eyes was enough for the bad memories and the guilt to swim back to the surface. It was too much for me. I wanted to tell her, I wanted to spill everything to her, but I could not. Every time I tried, the words stayed stuck deep down my dry throat. Something inside refrained me from telling her, and it made it impossible for me to love her the way she deserved to be loved.

So I called it off.

And I ran away.

I literally became what I never wanted to become. I ran away from my responsibilities, like a coward. I became her fear; I became what she hated the most. I became what left her heart broken and shattered. Because of me, she was able to smash her walls down, but because of me, she also had to rebuild them up. I became him, and that freaked me out.

So I tried to keep myself busy. Album after album, tour after tour, movie after movie. I exhausted myself to numb the pain. My sleepless nights kept me company. I found myself brewing tea at three in the morning, trying to remember her. Tea, which I have always hated, was now strangely comforting. My notebook was filled to the brim with songs about her, for her. My latest album was entirely dedicated to her. It was never explicitly said, but I know she knows. And that is all that matters.

I know I hurt her, badly, as well as everyone around me. My dad, who has recently officially become her step-dad and whose wedding I did not attend, is now utterly disappointed in me for leaving the way I did. We have cut most ties, which I never imagined could happen to us, since we used to have such a strong relationship. He calls once in a while to check on me, but we never speak for more than five minutes. My yellow moves have sent everyone away, as if I was to be avoided. Although that would not surprise me at all; if I could, I would avoid myself too. The only one that stayed was Jake, and I did not make it easy on him either. I have become angry and aggressive at times, but he knows that inside, I am broken, desperately calling for help. The side of me that she was able to recede amplified back when she left, when I made her leave. The bittersweet taste on my tongue became only bitter after a few months. But Jake has always been a brother to me, even with his own personal problems, and my leaving has not changed that at all. And for that, I am extremely grateful.

I have been on my own for two years and a half. I moved to New York to start anew and recorded my third album there with a new label. I have been on tour twice: once around the world, where I escaped to Paris, Manila, Johannesburg and more on an eight months long trip. I had the chance of meeting a lot of my fans, who were all I had left. Even when my sound had changed, many of them kept on supporting me, which, to be honest, surprised me. My new record label has been a lot more supportive as well, pushing me to write emotional and heartfelt songs that she would have liked.

My latest tour was a lot smaller. I travelled across the United States for about three months where I toured in much smaller venues. Forget the arenas and the stadiums; in America, I kept myself to private and intimate gigs only. I even stopped in Los Angeles, where I had a few hours to rest at the penthouse I used to call home, but I mostly tried to spend as few time as possible there to avoid the tiny possibility of bumping into her. But whether I sung in front of packed arenas or small bars, at the other end of the world or in my hometown, I was always hoping to see her face somewhere in the crowd.

Then came the movie. I never thought I would get back to acting again, but I needed to stay occupied to stop thinking about her. For a few weeks, I worked with Osborne Silver, who apparently still wanted me for one of his projects. All the while, I had to stop thinking about the mess I created with Chloe, who wanted her break into the acting world so badly; or Tyler, who actually turned out to be fine with his latest movie. But I have quickly forgotten about them too.

Here I am now, currently writing my fourth album. But I feel confused. Words do not come to me as easily as they used to. I guess I have successfully numbed myself. Jake suggested I take some time off, go somewhere and relax. He says I need to settle down for a while, that I am now too fatigued to function. But I am not. My head is simply stuck in the clouds, as she would sing, and my heart… My heart is still stuck on her. Yes. My heart is definitely still stuck on her, still stuck in love.

Author's note: This is my first Hollywood Heights story! I'm absolutely in love with the show and EddiexLoren so I'm planning on writing a lot more. I don't have much planned for this story apart from the overall plotline. I'm also not really a writer and English is not even my first language, so bear with me! I hope you'll enjoy the story and review it!