I woke up in the middle of the night, my insomnia keeping me awake again. Honestly, I didn't know what was keeping me going most days, barely getting by even in the heat of battle. I heard the snores of my comrades around, knowing that they were sleeping soundly after the previous day. It was a victory; they could sleep without fear tonight.
I silently arose, stretching my arms and yawning. Impervious to my restlessness, everyone snored on. I made my way out of the barracks, and the slaps my bare feet made on the cool concrete were loud in the silence of the room. The courtyard was my place to think on those sleepless nights.
2fort was eerily quiet on that night, it seemed. I sang softly to myself; though my melody was quite muted, it was easily heard throughout the silence. I closed my eyes as I walked the familiar path to the heart of the base. I was completely lost in myself until I heard a familiar voice.
"That's quite the voice you got there, missy."
It was Engineer, sitting on a crate. I froze, embarrassed and not sure what to do. He chuckled.
"Well, you gonna say somethin or not?"
I let out a nervous laugh. The voice of the Texan was relaxing, and his slow drawl took the edge off of my discomfort. I smiled at him in the twilight of the moon.
"Thanks, I guess."
I wasn't used to getting compliments. Engineer motioned to the crate next to him, gesturing for me to sit next to him. I hesitated, but figured that I'd might as well; maybe I could learn something. He offered me a beer.
"What are you doin up at this time a-night, girly?"
I shrugged my shoulders at his question.
"Just couldn't sleep, Engie." I used my affectionate term for him. "But is sure is a nice night."
He nodded. We sat in silence for a few moments, watching the stars.
"Engie, I just saw a shooting star!" I exclaimed, perhaps a bit too loudly.
In the dim night, I saw him smile.
He said, "That means you should make a wish." He chuckled at me.
"Hmmm…" I mumbled. I wasn't actually thinking about a wish; I was wondering what Engineer thought of me. Was he laughing at my youth? So what if I was 19 and he was like, 35. He was a kid once too. He gave my shoulder a gentle nudge.
"So," he began, "what did you wish for?"
I stuck my tongue out at him, reciprocating his push.
"If I told you, it wouldn't come true, silly."
He leaned back a little, always smiling. "I suppose that's true enough."
It was silent for a moment or two, and I squirmed around a bit, uncomfortable in the silence. I looked over to my friend who was simply studying the stars, a far off look in his eye.
"Whatcha thinking 'bout, Engie?" I saw him come back down to earth.
He let out a sad sigh, but still managed a hopeful smile.
"Just thinking bout where I've been, where I've yet to go. What kinda life I could ever have once we get outta this place." He turned to me. "You ever thought about it?"
I cocked my head to the side. "I kinda always thought I"d move back to Boston, with mom. She probably gets lonely, with my brothers gone and all." I took a drink. "Doubt she'd even recognize me, though."
The Engineer nodded.
"War'll do that." He glanced into my eyes, just briefly. "'Specially to the youngest of us."
I shook my beer can. Empty. Engie took it and placed it on the ground next to him. We were silent for a few moments, just thinking.
"Truthfully, Engie," I finally began, "I really don't know what I'm gonna do after all this is over." I put my chin on one of my knees, looking right at him. "I really don't know where to go. I don't wanna bother mom with all my memories, I don't want her to worry bout me." I sighed. "Guess I'll just go my own way." Looking at the ground I added, "Even though I don't wanna be alone…"
My friend motioned for me to come closer, and I complied. To my surprise, he pulled me into a gentle embrace. I nuzzled my face into his warm chest, needing the comfort from my thoughts. We stayed like that for a while, just holding each other. Eventually, I reluctantly pulled away.
