Title: Whoops
Disclaimer: I wish I owned them...
Rating: PG-13 for innuendo, language, talk of m/m slash, general silliness abound.
Notes: Well, poo. I thought I was tough enough to just let the remark slide and not let the musi get to me, but...no. No such luck. So thank you, Tynisha, for making my Slashy!E&C musi beat me in the head with pillows until I agreed to let 'em have their way.
For those who don't know what I'm talking about, this is the offending passage from the RAW magazine:
RAW: You've been wrestling with Christian since you two were in the sixth grade. how is it to be apart now? Did you know this day would come?
Edge: We knew one day it would happen...We had already experienced so much together that business would never come between us. I think Christian's still a very underrated talent, and I think one day he'll show everybody what he shows me every night.
******
"Look. It's not the end of the world. It was just one comment. One little remark. I mean, seriously. Who really has nothing better to do than to analyze our sex life?"
"You all but TOLD them we had a sex life!"
"Had? You're, uh, really pissed about this, aren't you?"
They knew they should have been at a gym, or out with their friends, or just hanging out and watching movies, but instead they were spending their time arguing over what one of them had said in an interview and exactly what his motives in doing so were.
Not that Adam much minded, since Jay was exceedingly sexy when he got angry.
Adam rolled over onto his side to watch Jay as he walked into the bathroom and back out into the main room, over and over again in the same path he'd traveled nonstop for the past five minutes. "Jay, please stop pacing. You're making me dizzy."
"What, you're not gonna try to make some kinda dirty remark from that, too?"
"You're blowing this whole thing way out of proportion."
"Out of –!" Jay stopped short, mouth hanging open and eyes bulging. "You..." He sputtered wordlessly, waving the rolled up magazine in his left hand as if that was meant to signify some greater form of communication. "Do I need to remind you exactly *what* you said?"
"No," Adam groaned, throwing a hand over his face as he watched Jay flip the magazine over. He continued under his breath, "not that my opinion's going to stop you from doing it anyway."
Jay cleared his throat dramatically, doing his best to imitate Adam's voice. "...show everybody what he shows me every night." His brow furrowed and he closed the magazine with a pointed flapping of paper. "What, exactly, am I blowing out of proportion here?"
"Well," Adam started, lifting himself up onto his elbows and casting an easy, sideways grin at his friend, "at least they didn't print the part where I told 'em about that time we did it on the balcony and you almost fell off into the pool outside. I tried saying it showed how willing you were to take risks, but..." He trailed off when he saw Jay's eyes widen even more. "I'm joking. Kidding. Adam made a funny. Haha. Laugh."
He barely had time to duck behind a pillow before the magazine came sailing at his head with more force than a bundle of paper had any right to do.
"Jay, man, calm down! You're acting like some old housewife or something!"
"Really, what were you thinking? What do you have to say for yourself this time?"
"Whoops."
Jay's mouth worked up and down, no words coming to mind that could accurately convey his disbelief. "'Whoops'? You practically confirm every last damn rumor about us with one stupid sentence and all you can say is 'whoops'?"
"I...Yeah. That's about all I have to say."
"You...I don't believe you. You're incredible."
Adam smiled broadly. "Why, thank you. And we're not even in bed together!"
"I-I know people who read this thing!" Jay went on in affronted protest. "You know my mom saves every interview you or I do, right? And Josh still thinks we're screwin' each other."
Adam's brow narrowed in confusion. "But...we are."
"He doesn't have to get proof of that right now!"
"Dude. He walked in on us once, remember?"
Jay muttered something under his breath before turning sharply on his heel. "Yes, Adam, I remember. You don't really ever forget looking out from beneath someone and seeing your little brother standing there watching like he'd just seen our grandparents going at it. But Hell, that was a long time ago!"
"Seven years. It's not *that* long."
"I'm hoping he'll just forget about it," Jay went on, blatantly ignoring the fact Adam had even spoken. "And besides, he knows how the pressure of college life can get to you."
"Yeah, but not everyone jumps in bed with their roommate because they're stressed with finals."
"Goddammit, Adam, you're not helping anything," Jay moaned, pressing the heels of his hands to his eyes. "Here's an idea - how about you just keep your mouth shut, huh? Just...completely shut. And never do another interview. Ever."
Adam smirked, bouncing his eyebrows suggestively. "You sure you won't feel put off if I keep my mouth shut all the time?"
"Oh God," Jay groaned, falling face-first onto his bed and only turning once he realized he needed to breathe and couldn't do that with his mouth and nose pressed into his pillow. "My life is over."
"You're overreacting. We're not two dumbass teenagers anymore. We're grown men, and I think we can think for ourselves."
"You really don't see the conflict here, do you? Adam, we are *married*, even though you seem to be doing your damndest to prove we're married to each *other*..."
"I am not."
"Too."
"Not. Bitch."
Jay snorted and folded his arms under his head, staring blankly at the wall. "I'm not talking to you anymore."
"Y'big baby," Adam scoffed, blowing a raspberry at Jay for emphasis. "Well, hey. It's not like it would come as a big shock to either of 'em. I mean, we've told 'em."
"Um..."
Adam's grin fell slowly until it turned into a frown. "We *have*, right?" No answer, and he suddenly had the urge to smack himself. "Jason? Please tell me you told Denise..."
"I did!" Jay defended himself adamantly, kicking his feet into the bed in a move vaguely similar to one of Christian's temper tantrums. "I just, uh, didn't tell her the ... whole truth."
"So you're lying to her."
"No! I'm not lying. I'm just...not telling everything."
"Which, technically, is lying."
"She hasn't asked. I'm not telling."
"She's your *wife*, you moron! If you don't tell her, she'll find out eventually!"
"Yeah, probably from you!" Jay shot back, sighing and proceeding to beat his head into his pillow. "These things tend to happen when you go around wearing a big sign around your neck that says 'I'm sleeping with my best friend and I have to tell everyone about it!'" He paused for thoughtful consideration, then gave another swift kick to the bed. "This sucks."
Not interested in his friend's pity-party, Adam straightened against the headboard and glared across at Jay. "Not that it's really my business what you two talk about, but what exactly is the partial truth you've told her?"
"I said we used to fool around in college."
"Which is true."
"Yeah."
"But I guess you haven't bothered mentioning that we're *still* fooling around...?"
"It's not something I'm gonna bring up when we actually do get time together. Boy, that'd be just great. Take her out to dinner and spring it on her that, oh, by the way, honey, I'm still fucking my best friend of the past however many years –"
"Eighteen."
"–at every available opportunity," Jay continued, glowering. "Call me crazy, but I don't think she'd appreciate it."
"Well, you don't have to use those kinda terms. You could break it to her gently."
"Because I'm so sure she'd gently break my face."
"Is the glass *always* half-empty for you or is the fact I pissed in it the only reason it's got anything in it at all?"
"I'm not supposed to be talking to you right now."
Adam laughed quietly to himself, then rose to his feet and walked over to the second bed, crawling in behind Jay and looping an arm around his waist, tugging Jay's back closely against his chest. "Don't be mad," he whispered against Jay's shoulder, leaving a soft kiss in hopes of coaxing Jay from his sore mood. "It was just a little remark I made for fun to see how many people I could get riled with it."
"Well, it worked. Asshole," Jay amended as an afterthought, poking his lips out into an exaggerated pout.
"And what a cute one I have, huh?"
"You are nasty and I should *so* smack you for that one."
"S'funny. Any other time, you like when I talk dirty to you."
Jay groaned and turned to bury his face into his pillow again. He tried to say something, but it was muffled against the fabric and cotton. Adam laughed again, reaching up to kiss the exposed skin of Jay's throat.
"You're gonna have to turn around. I can't hear you when you're talking into the pillow."
"I said," Jay started, huffing from having been bothered, "that you are completely hopeless and you're gonna get us caught."
"Maybe. But at least we'll have fun up 'til then."
They fell into companionable silence, Jay staring up at the ceiling, Adam trailing light kisses along his collarbone. He ran lazy circles up and down Adam's back through his t-shirt, but his friend picked his head up when the hand stopped, an obvious sign that Jay was thinking of something important.
"What?"
"I...Never mind."
"No, go on. Unless you're gonna throw another hissy fit. You can keep that to yourself."
Jay sighed and shook his head. "I was thinking about that. How did you really mean it? I mean, seriously?"
"Seriously?"
"Yeah."
Adam pursed his lips in consideration, fingers moving deftly underneath Jay's shirt. "I meant that you're a good wrestler, and I honestly didn't think about what I'd said until later, but I decided to let 'em leave it in because I believe it...however it's taken."
"That's sweet."
"Isn't it?"
Adam gave a startled cry as he was pushed out of the bed and landed on the floor with a thump. He looked up to see Jay staring innocently down at him.
"Whoops."
Disclaimer: I wish I owned them...
Rating: PG-13 for innuendo, language, talk of m/m slash, general silliness abound.
Notes: Well, poo. I thought I was tough enough to just let the remark slide and not let the musi get to me, but...no. No such luck. So thank you, Tynisha, for making my Slashy!E&C musi beat me in the head with pillows until I agreed to let 'em have their way.
For those who don't know what I'm talking about, this is the offending passage from the RAW magazine:
RAW: You've been wrestling with Christian since you two were in the sixth grade. how is it to be apart now? Did you know this day would come?
Edge: We knew one day it would happen...We had already experienced so much together that business would never come between us. I think Christian's still a very underrated talent, and I think one day he'll show everybody what he shows me every night.
******
"Look. It's not the end of the world. It was just one comment. One little remark. I mean, seriously. Who really has nothing better to do than to analyze our sex life?"
"You all but TOLD them we had a sex life!"
"Had? You're, uh, really pissed about this, aren't you?"
They knew they should have been at a gym, or out with their friends, or just hanging out and watching movies, but instead they were spending their time arguing over what one of them had said in an interview and exactly what his motives in doing so were.
Not that Adam much minded, since Jay was exceedingly sexy when he got angry.
Adam rolled over onto his side to watch Jay as he walked into the bathroom and back out into the main room, over and over again in the same path he'd traveled nonstop for the past five minutes. "Jay, please stop pacing. You're making me dizzy."
"What, you're not gonna try to make some kinda dirty remark from that, too?"
"You're blowing this whole thing way out of proportion."
"Out of –!" Jay stopped short, mouth hanging open and eyes bulging. "You..." He sputtered wordlessly, waving the rolled up magazine in his left hand as if that was meant to signify some greater form of communication. "Do I need to remind you exactly *what* you said?"
"No," Adam groaned, throwing a hand over his face as he watched Jay flip the magazine over. He continued under his breath, "not that my opinion's going to stop you from doing it anyway."
Jay cleared his throat dramatically, doing his best to imitate Adam's voice. "...show everybody what he shows me every night." His brow furrowed and he closed the magazine with a pointed flapping of paper. "What, exactly, am I blowing out of proportion here?"
"Well," Adam started, lifting himself up onto his elbows and casting an easy, sideways grin at his friend, "at least they didn't print the part where I told 'em about that time we did it on the balcony and you almost fell off into the pool outside. I tried saying it showed how willing you were to take risks, but..." He trailed off when he saw Jay's eyes widen even more. "I'm joking. Kidding. Adam made a funny. Haha. Laugh."
He barely had time to duck behind a pillow before the magazine came sailing at his head with more force than a bundle of paper had any right to do.
"Jay, man, calm down! You're acting like some old housewife or something!"
"Really, what were you thinking? What do you have to say for yourself this time?"
"Whoops."
Jay's mouth worked up and down, no words coming to mind that could accurately convey his disbelief. "'Whoops'? You practically confirm every last damn rumor about us with one stupid sentence and all you can say is 'whoops'?"
"I...Yeah. That's about all I have to say."
"You...I don't believe you. You're incredible."
Adam smiled broadly. "Why, thank you. And we're not even in bed together!"
"I-I know people who read this thing!" Jay went on in affronted protest. "You know my mom saves every interview you or I do, right? And Josh still thinks we're screwin' each other."
Adam's brow narrowed in confusion. "But...we are."
"He doesn't have to get proof of that right now!"
"Dude. He walked in on us once, remember?"
Jay muttered something under his breath before turning sharply on his heel. "Yes, Adam, I remember. You don't really ever forget looking out from beneath someone and seeing your little brother standing there watching like he'd just seen our grandparents going at it. But Hell, that was a long time ago!"
"Seven years. It's not *that* long."
"I'm hoping he'll just forget about it," Jay went on, blatantly ignoring the fact Adam had even spoken. "And besides, he knows how the pressure of college life can get to you."
"Yeah, but not everyone jumps in bed with their roommate because they're stressed with finals."
"Goddammit, Adam, you're not helping anything," Jay moaned, pressing the heels of his hands to his eyes. "Here's an idea - how about you just keep your mouth shut, huh? Just...completely shut. And never do another interview. Ever."
Adam smirked, bouncing his eyebrows suggestively. "You sure you won't feel put off if I keep my mouth shut all the time?"
"Oh God," Jay groaned, falling face-first onto his bed and only turning once he realized he needed to breathe and couldn't do that with his mouth and nose pressed into his pillow. "My life is over."
"You're overreacting. We're not two dumbass teenagers anymore. We're grown men, and I think we can think for ourselves."
"You really don't see the conflict here, do you? Adam, we are *married*, even though you seem to be doing your damndest to prove we're married to each *other*..."
"I am not."
"Too."
"Not. Bitch."
Jay snorted and folded his arms under his head, staring blankly at the wall. "I'm not talking to you anymore."
"Y'big baby," Adam scoffed, blowing a raspberry at Jay for emphasis. "Well, hey. It's not like it would come as a big shock to either of 'em. I mean, we've told 'em."
"Um..."
Adam's grin fell slowly until it turned into a frown. "We *have*, right?" No answer, and he suddenly had the urge to smack himself. "Jason? Please tell me you told Denise..."
"I did!" Jay defended himself adamantly, kicking his feet into the bed in a move vaguely similar to one of Christian's temper tantrums. "I just, uh, didn't tell her the ... whole truth."
"So you're lying to her."
"No! I'm not lying. I'm just...not telling everything."
"Which, technically, is lying."
"She hasn't asked. I'm not telling."
"She's your *wife*, you moron! If you don't tell her, she'll find out eventually!"
"Yeah, probably from you!" Jay shot back, sighing and proceeding to beat his head into his pillow. "These things tend to happen when you go around wearing a big sign around your neck that says 'I'm sleeping with my best friend and I have to tell everyone about it!'" He paused for thoughtful consideration, then gave another swift kick to the bed. "This sucks."
Not interested in his friend's pity-party, Adam straightened against the headboard and glared across at Jay. "Not that it's really my business what you two talk about, but what exactly is the partial truth you've told her?"
"I said we used to fool around in college."
"Which is true."
"Yeah."
"But I guess you haven't bothered mentioning that we're *still* fooling around...?"
"It's not something I'm gonna bring up when we actually do get time together. Boy, that'd be just great. Take her out to dinner and spring it on her that, oh, by the way, honey, I'm still fucking my best friend of the past however many years –"
"Eighteen."
"–at every available opportunity," Jay continued, glowering. "Call me crazy, but I don't think she'd appreciate it."
"Well, you don't have to use those kinda terms. You could break it to her gently."
"Because I'm so sure she'd gently break my face."
"Is the glass *always* half-empty for you or is the fact I pissed in it the only reason it's got anything in it at all?"
"I'm not supposed to be talking to you right now."
Adam laughed quietly to himself, then rose to his feet and walked over to the second bed, crawling in behind Jay and looping an arm around his waist, tugging Jay's back closely against his chest. "Don't be mad," he whispered against Jay's shoulder, leaving a soft kiss in hopes of coaxing Jay from his sore mood. "It was just a little remark I made for fun to see how many people I could get riled with it."
"Well, it worked. Asshole," Jay amended as an afterthought, poking his lips out into an exaggerated pout.
"And what a cute one I have, huh?"
"You are nasty and I should *so* smack you for that one."
"S'funny. Any other time, you like when I talk dirty to you."
Jay groaned and turned to bury his face into his pillow again. He tried to say something, but it was muffled against the fabric and cotton. Adam laughed again, reaching up to kiss the exposed skin of Jay's throat.
"You're gonna have to turn around. I can't hear you when you're talking into the pillow."
"I said," Jay started, huffing from having been bothered, "that you are completely hopeless and you're gonna get us caught."
"Maybe. But at least we'll have fun up 'til then."
They fell into companionable silence, Jay staring up at the ceiling, Adam trailing light kisses along his collarbone. He ran lazy circles up and down Adam's back through his t-shirt, but his friend picked his head up when the hand stopped, an obvious sign that Jay was thinking of something important.
"What?"
"I...Never mind."
"No, go on. Unless you're gonna throw another hissy fit. You can keep that to yourself."
Jay sighed and shook his head. "I was thinking about that. How did you really mean it? I mean, seriously?"
"Seriously?"
"Yeah."
Adam pursed his lips in consideration, fingers moving deftly underneath Jay's shirt. "I meant that you're a good wrestler, and I honestly didn't think about what I'd said until later, but I decided to let 'em leave it in because I believe it...however it's taken."
"That's sweet."
"Isn't it?"
Adam gave a startled cry as he was pushed out of the bed and landed on the floor with a thump. He looked up to see Jay staring innocently down at him.
"Whoops."