During my earlier childhood, I'd let others use me, do whatever they wished. Allowed them to
touch me in ways that violated my dignity. I had learned to hide away all of my emotions, behind a
stone-like exterior, while they had their fun. I wouldn't let them know my pain. And they'd pay me
afterwards, for being a 'good little whore'. I'd be able to buy food with the tainted money, so I
could go on living my worthless life. Continue to allow others to use me as their sex toy. It was a
degrading life, but I was too afraid of death to end it.
Then he appeared, driving a black BMW. He looked like a respectable man, wearing a cleanly
pressed business suit. At first I thought it would just be another job. It didn't really matter to me
what we did or who I did it with, so long as I get paid in the end. Instead, he surprised me by
taking me back to his place, where 2 others waited for him. They took me in. Put a roof over my
head. Gave me a bed to sleep in. I felt that I had finally found sanctuary in a place I could call
home. With people I'd be able to call family. That I was finally rid of the life that haunts my
dreams even now. I would have to kill for the clothes on my back, but those people deserved to
die for what they've done.
But it wasn't long before my paradise had shattered. As days go by and nights becomes light my
training has taught me so much about human fear and un justice the universal system can be. I
bent back all I could believe was Fear. Hate. Sorrow. I wish I knew others. Ones that wanted me
for me. I wished so much not to have the body I have. My small baby features My fragiliness. My
innocence. My childiness. To have my pride and childhood stolen from me to see other 13 year
olds better then me. I didn't want this. People say I planned this for attention, what did they
know? Theres no such thing like Truth or Love not in my dark world. I burn in my own little hell
away a crowd, without help or guidence I cry deep as my body is tormented by fear..then burns
into the flesh of my pale skin causing scars to be never healed.
To discover the hidden truth of a deafen past as if pieces of a puzzle pasted on a unfilled pay piece,
It doesn't matter anymore, though. None of it does. Because the day I had dreamed of every night
since I first laid eyes on you was finally here. You shift slightly in your sleep, and I can feel you
wrap your arms gently around my shoulders. An embrace I thought I could only fantasize about.
Your heart beats softly against my ear, as I lay my head on your chest. I had found my sanctuary.
With an angel. My savior. In the form of an enemy.