Journal Entry: Semester 2 Starting Chemistry
I remember when I first saw Warren. My first thought was how adorable he was. I guess you could say he was my first crush in Blackwell Academy. Now that I think about it, he was and probably will be my last.
We met each other because we had the same chemistry class. It was the first day of second semester and I didn't make many friends. I remember Ms Grant telling everyone to go against the wall so she could tell us our assigned seats. I prayed I wouldn't have to sit next to Victoria, or any of her friends. When she called Victoria's name and she didn't call mine next, I became so relieved. Next she called my name and I was happy since I was sitting in one the back tables. I almost forgot I still had to have a lab partner. She then called, "Warren Graham." I think my heart skipped a beat when I realized it was the guy I was staring at earlier. Warren smiled at me as he walked over. I think I began to blush a bit. Luckily Warren didn't notice because he looked away.
When Ms. Grant finished telling everyone their assigned seats, she said now we have time to get to know our lab partners.
Warren immediately looked over and put out his hand and said, "I'm Warren Graham, what's your name?"
I smiled and said, "I'm Max Caulfield." He began to talk about how much of a geek he was. My first thought was wow already something we have in common. After 10 minutes of him talking, he realized he was talking too much about himself. I didn't mind, because the more and the more he talked about himself, the more I adored him.
He began to blush and said, "sorry I feel like I'm just talking about myself." I didn't tell him the real reason why I didn't mind him talking.
I replied, "oh I don't mind. To be honest I never really know how to talk about myself just randomly."
Warren smiled and said, "oh I don't want to appear I'm an obnoxious person." I really wanted to say, "I don't see you as an obnoxious person at all in fact I think you are really cute." I didn't especially since I don't have so much confidence and I don't think that would be a good impression of me.
I smiled and instead said, "that's not the impression I get, so don't worry."
Warren began to blush and scratched the back of his head and said, "I guess I just worry to much." I thought of how adorable he was when he became embarrassed like that. The bell rang and I let out a sigh not even meaning to.
Warren said, "hey, why don't we hang out later so we get to know each other better and maybe even became friends." My heart began to beat faster and faster.
I smiled and said, "sure, when you are free?"
He said, "well my last class ends at 3, so anytime after 3 would be good."
I said, "how about 4, so I can finish any homework I have to do?"
He smiled and said, "ok, where shall we meet?"
I mentioned, "we could meet near the dormitories." Warren smiled and waved good bye so I could go to my next class. The time seemed to go by slower and slower each class. Which meant more time for me to worry and hope I didn't mess up anything with Warren. I really didn't want to mess anything up. I wanted to be his friend just like he mentioned. If he really was the guy I met in chemistry class, the adorable and sweet one. I know that he would be able to lift me up, even when I'm feeling down. In my thoughts I began to fight with myself, 'god I just met the guy and here I am making a perfect version of what he might be.' I tried my best to not have such high exceptions but it didn't work out too well. In the midst of my thoughts, I hoped I was just really lonely or something. When the last class finally ended at 3, I kinda wished I told him to meet me earlier.
I decided to go and talk to Kate who I met in photography class. She was a really sweet girl and we became really good friends.
I knocked on her door and she replied with, "come in." As I sat down on her couch next to me.
She smiled at me and said, "you look super happy, Max. Did something happen?" I started to blush at the thought of Warren.
Kate started to laugh and said, "ok something definitely happened." Now tell me now."
I laughed and said, "ok, ok I get it. Well, today I started chemistry and I saw a really cute boy named Warren and it turned out that he is my lab partner."
Kate interrupted saying, "what some luck you have there, Max. So let me guess he is even cuter now that you talked with him and the thought of him makes you blush."
I blushed even more at that comment but began to talk again, "yeah very much, but we are supposed to hang out today at 4 which was his idea and I'm really nervous.
Kate looked really surprised and replied, "you seem to have more than a crush on him."
I chuckled a nervous laugh and asked, "what do you mean?"
Kate began to look more serious and said, "well if you have a crush on someone it means you just think they're cute or something and it won't probably last for too long. I can tell that Warren won't be a crush because he will be someone you actually really care about and it will much harder for you to get over him. I can already tell all of you have been thinking about is him."
I blushed so much, I think I looked like a ripe tomato and responded, "how, how Kate?" How did you figure that out so easily. I mean I just talked about him and maybe blushed a bit, how?"
Kate replied, "I could tell by the way you talk about him like you lite up more and more as you talked about Warren. I can also see a little sparkle in your eyes when you are really happy about something and I saw that today." I didn't know what to say so I just smiled at Kate and checked the time on my phone. It was 3:30 already, crap I thought.
I quickly said, "I got to go worry about War-, I mean go talk with Dana." Kate laughed a bit and waved good bye. It felt good to know that Kate knew my feelings better than I did. I wanted to ask Dana to borrow her clothes since we had similar style so I look even better for Warren. Well at least the style, I wanted to have. I didn't because I felt it would weird if I changed just to hang out with my lab partner. So instead I went back to my room and felt the desire to clean my room. I don't know why, but quickly cleaned. Cleaning my room kept me distracted from Warren. When I finished up, I checked the time and it 3:58, perfect timing I thought.
I quickly went outside to go and see Warren. Before I opened the door to go outside, I took a breath since I was super nervous. I really wanted to become friends maybe even a little more. I felt more nerves weirdly go away. That all changed when I saw Warren again though. I could feel the electricity going through my body. I don't know why I like him so much. Especially since I just met him, but he felt so familiar like I could already trust him with anything and he wouldn't even think of telling everyone.
As I started walking I could feel my heart pound and pound more and more the closer I got to him. He was looking at his phone so he didn't notice me until I said something. I tried best to not stutter and it worked.
I said, "hey Warren."
He said as he put away his phone, "oh sorry I didn't notice you."
I said, "it's alright, don't worry about it." He then began to look straight at me, which made my heart beat out of my chest and I felt me blush hoping he wouldn't notice. Well with just my luck, he noticed. He didn't say anything though, but he began to blush. After a couples of minutes went by and I calmed down.
I broke the silence and asked, "do you want to go and sit on the bench?"
He smiled and said, "sure." We sat on the bench and I had no idea what to say. My heart was still beating fast which didn't help. Luckily though he broke the silence.
He said, "why did you come to Blackwell Academy?"
I said, "Well I used to live here 5 years ago, but I had to move since my dad found a better job in Seattle. I decided to move back since I really am into photography and Blackwell had an amazing program so I decide to apply. To my surprise I actually got in and I became so happy. I was also really worried since I didn't have any friends so I would definitely be an outcast, but I got enough courage to send a letter saying I could go. When I got here I was afraid that I was just be an outcast. Then I meant the sweetest person named Kate Marsh and we became really good friends. I also meet a few more friends. Semester one was pretty good and I got good grades. Then I had chemistry where I met you, Warren."
Warren began to blush and that's when I realized I just told him everything including the part where I felt like an outcast. I never tell people about my feelings not like that, I just told Kate like a little over a week ago and that made me scared, but I knew I could trust her. And here I am telling one of my "crushes" my life story. I did feel safe with Warren though, because he just had something about him that made me feel like I could trust him with anything and he wouldn't ever tell anyone. When I noticed Warren's blushing I didn't know how to respond. I decided to just ignore it and pretend that it wasn't happening. Warren began to scratch the back of his head. I guessed he did that every time he was really embarrassed. I really felt the electricity fill up my body even more and this time I felt in my fingers too.
I asked without even thinking, "do you have a girlfriend?" I didn't blush this time to try to show I was serious. Warren's face lite up more and he let out a sigh.
"Sadly no, even without going to this school for 2 years, I guess I just haven't found the right person or maybe I have." He smiled right at me, I felt me blush a lot, I tried my best to hide it by looking down. I hid especially since I didn't know if he was talking about me.
He then asked, "do you have a boyfriend?" I still continued to look down to try get rid most of the blushing, but what he asked didn't help.
I sighed and said, "no I haven't even had one."
Warren nodded and replied, "me too so I don't know if I'm doing this right, but…." Before Warren finished his sentence, I felt his lips against mine and I felt chills run throughout my body and the fireworks in my heart.
As he pulled away his face turned bright red and I whispered into his ear, "kiss me again, this time slower so it will last longer." As soon I finished my sentence he kissed me slowly and this time I gave him a little tongue. Warren seemed to enjoy it because he pulled me closer. So close that I could feel his heartbeat perfectly. When we both pulled away so we both could breathe, we looked at each other. This time I made the next move and I leaned his forehead against mine.
I whispered to him, "you take me away to another world." He smiled and looked straight into my eyes. I don't know where all my confidence had come from. Maybe from the kiss, no that's ridiculous. Kisses don't just give you that. I wouldn't know if they did since this was my first kiss. It felt so electrifying and maybe it was possible. My heart was still beating. I could feel his breathing against my neck and I didn't mind it. In fact I kinda enjoyed it which was a little hard to admit to myself. As we both pulled away from each other, Warren took my hand and smiled.