A\N: Okay, so, I really had to write this, I know that Father is a killer but besides that, I loved him in the First book and it broke my heart when I found out what he was doing. But I understand, I don't think he really knew... He couldn't have, he doesn't seem like the kind of person that would murder in cold blood, if he knew.

Yes, I know this is slightly AU, I don't believe father is OOC, but I don't know. Yes I have read the other three books and because I added my own little splash, you'll get an explanation to a question that I think has been asked a hundred times. "How do they impregnate the Birthmothers?"

Disclaimer: I do not Own The Giver

Now! Ready Set!

ENJOY!

Father looked up at the now coloured dark blue sky, a look of pure sorrow on his face. Jonas had been gone now, maybe three weeks and the ceremony of loss had been preformed. Along with Jonas' departure, had come the memories... So many of them, and the community was just now getting things in order. Every time a memory was recollected that didn't belong was to be reported so treatment could take place. At first, the elders blamed the receiver for Jonas' loss, however, as days passed, they began to shift the blame to him.

It was him who had wanted to bring Gabriel home, it was him who had told Jonas Gabriel's name, which they claim is probably the reason that Jonas became attached to Gabe in the first place, it was him also who told his family unit of Gabriel's release. Not to mention that it was his bike that was stolen.

As the accusations escalated Father had come to realize that it was in part his fault and with that realization, Father had decided to do what everyone seemed to want him to do and applied for release. That night, tonight, after he'd submitted his application, He'd had a dream... Well, not really a dream but a memory.

It was of a father, a young father who was hunched over the empty still body of a newchild as he sobbed for the loss, and that memory had not been- It had not been plain, it had seemed vivid and detailed, full of life, though it was a view of death! It had been...

Coloured.

He'd woken up nearly in tears, but not wanting to wake mother or Lily, he'd snuck out and now was standing on the porch taking in the change of atmosphere and detail... Taking in all the colour.

He knew he'd be accepted for release right away. After all, he'd failed his son, his actual son for he knew... Though no one else did, that Jonas was his biological child.

He very much remembered the events surrounding the procedure that he'd undergone at sixteen. He'd gotten a letter with a list of instructions on what to do. The next morning, instead of going to his usual training, he went to the birthing center where he was treated very politely before being put to sleep for an hour and after he'd woken up, all they'd said was that he'd been chosen as a donator for the birthmothers and that it was an honor. He'd not understood at the time but as the years passed, he'd learned little by little what that had meant.

"They take DNA." A co-worker had whispered, an older male who had been transfered from doctor to nurturer after he'd had an accident that had rendered him less then adequate to perform tasks as a doctor so the elders had transfered him to his second best option.

"What do you mean?" He'd asked and that was when the male had told about how the birthmothers were injected with the DNA and that it had to be a males for the procedure to be properly completed.

After that, Father had spent years sneaking peaks at various documents, eventually, he found out that his own DNA had gone toward two children. A number Nineteen- later named Jonas and a number Thirty-six, later called Gabriel. The community had no clue that he knew and he also knew himself that he would take this secret with him to elsewhere... Whatever or wherever elsewhere was anyway. Father sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He had to say goodbye to Jonas somehow, even if he never actually tells him, he must say- No, he must write his goodbye... And- and, give it to...

The Receiver!

The man had secretly told Father that if he needed anything- No matter what. If he needed anything, that he should come to him and that is what he would do. Turning, father walked into the dwelling and went to his desk. Pulling out some blank pages and a writing utensil, he thought a moment of what to write and then began.

Dear Jonas

Jonas? Where do I begin? With an apology... No, that doesn't really seem like something you'd want...

I miss you so much, it has been so hard, ever since the memories came back and now that I've come to understand, I sincerely want you to know...

That I love you.

I remember when you asked me if I loved you, I hadn't known how to respond and I know now that you'd been hurt by my lack of understanding. How could I have understood? I am nothing more than I have ever been.

A pawn

A game piece

A game piece that has been carefully cultivated, made specially to fit the rules that is the community.

However, Jonas, I am no longer a pawn, I am a knowledgeable man who has seen what life and release really are and I am a man who can now cherish a full life filled with things like love and knowledge and colour. I have asked for release and that is the main reason I am writing to you, I cannot die without saying goodbye because...

Because I love you son of mine.

I love you as I loved Gabriel because, now when I remember him, I miss him and I know now that I truly love him.

Knowing you, you probably resent/hate and utterly despise me for not only not showing my love and for not truly being your real father but also for becoming a murderer. Though I am sorry, I know that I can never take back what I have done and for this I am glad I will be released probably tomorrow.

Jonas, I know you didn't think of me as your father in the end but let me tell you Jonas, that I am your real father. It was my DNA that was injected into a woman called Sasha. We are your birth parents. As for Gabe, I am as well his father and I will tell you that I knew this when I asked for extra time for him. I was terrified when I thought I might have to murder my only other son and I am relieved that you took him. His mother was called Claire.

I hope you and Gabe are okay, and I hope not to see you or Gabe when I am released for that will mean that you two are dead and I don't even want to think about that. As for Lily and Mother, they will probably be added to a new unit with a male who's wife asked for release because of a memory he received, they will get a male child and life will go on.

Again, I miss you Jonas

I miss you too Gabe.

I hope you two are safe and are being loved.

Sincerely, You're Father

Samson-Number Thirty-Three.

After he finished the letter, father picked up the paper and rolled it up. Without really thinking about what he was doing, father again left the dwelling. He no longer had a bike, for Jonas had taken his so with that, he took mothers and getting on it, he made his way quietly to the annex where he knew the receiver would be.

A\N: I hope you like it, I might do this for characters in other series so look out!

Anyway...

Please Review!