The Army M*A*S*H
Disclaimer; I don't own M*A*S*H or The Monster Mash.
I was working on the still late one night
When my eyes beheld an eerie sight
For Frank Burns from his bed began to rise
And suddenly to my surprise
He did the mash
He did the army mash
The army mash
It was a compound smash
He did the mash
It caught on in a flash
He did the mash
He did the army mash
From the Officers Club in the compound east
To the Motor Pool where Rizzo sleeps
The non-coms came from without and within
To get a jolt from my bootleg gin
They did the mash
They did the army mash
The army mash
It was a compound smash
They did the mash
It caught on in a flash
They did the mash
They did the army mash
The nurses were having fun
Happy hour had just begun
The guests included Hotlips
Mr Yee and his son
The tent was rockin', all were digging the sounds
Radar on drums, backed by the stray camp hounds
The Swinging Surgons were about to arrive
With their vocal group, "The Post-Op Five"
They played the mash
They played the army mash
The army mash
It was a compound smash
They played the mash
It caught on in a flash
They played the mash
They played the army mash
Out from his office, Max's voice did ring
Seems he was troubled by just one thing
He opened the door and shook his fist
And said, "Whatever happened to my Lebanese twist?"
It's now the mash
It's now the army mash
The army mash
And it's a compound smash
It's now the mash
It's caught on in a flash
It's now the mash
It's now the army mash
Now everything's cool, Max is a part of the band
And my army mash is the hit of the land
For you, the living, this mash was meant too
When you get to my door, tell them Hawkeye sent you
Then you can mash
Then you can army mash
The army mash
And do my compound smash
Then you can mash
You'll catch on in a flash
Then you can mash
Then you can army mash
"Mash good!"
"Easy Radar! You impetuous young boy."
"Mash Good!"