A/N: As requested :) I hope you enjoy my attempt to do LeviHan!
"Same shit, different day"=a small reference to Dreamcatcher by Stephen King
It wasn't only Titans that kept Hanji's think pan occupied—well, excluding the constant domination of Lance Corporal Rivaille in it as well, to narrow down the idea. She hasn't been as vocal and physically crazed about this as she had in her unusual penchant for Titans, but the mere notion of the outside world (that she so often kept to herself) never failed to spark a hint of amusement inside her, never failed to cross her mind. In fact, her questions on this seemed as endless as the ones she had for Titans, as infinite as she believed the sky to be. What did that sky above cover? How vast was the land and water sprawled beneath it? But she also believed that no mission behind the walls could satisfy this curiosity- though that thought was about to change before she could even pick up pace with what's happening.
"It takes longer for you to wake up than for Jaeger to scrub a filthy room's floor clean," he said irritably as he leaned against the doorframe of her bedroom. "Get up. There's a day ahead."
Though sarcastic, hearing Levi's voice first thing that morning successfully eased the anxiety that built up inside her. No matter how many times she had gone on missions outside the walls, no matter how zealous she might have seemed during these instances, she couldn't deny—at least to herself—that there was still a hint of fear that lingered within. Her enthusiasm towards getting to know Titans was absolutely genuine, but she was still human and she knew that it was normal to feel scared, just as any other human being would've felt.
"Levi," she muttered before he could exit the room, stopping in his tracks.
"What now," pausing as Hanji propped herself into a sitting position and reached out for her glasses, "…Four Eyes?"
She was hesitant with the words, but managed to spit them out eventually, "I've always wondered how you coped with times like this." She referred to today, which marked another critical mission beyond the walls that confined their dying race. "How do you stand knowing a multitude of lives would be lost, and that the chances that yours would be spared were as hazy as the hope of mankind?" Apparently, not everyone was as willing as that Jaeger kid to give up their life. And with this, he stood stunned, yet still holding firm ground.
"Reminiscing on the first mission again?" he teased with his ever-stoic face. Although he, too, still had a vivid memory of his first time, and it was gruesome, and he was struggling to push the thought back down. He then became aware of Hanji's seriousness shortly after, and sighed. It was so unlike her to put on such a gloomy vibe. He walked toward her, gestured if he could fill the empty spot on her bed, beside her, and she nodded.
After a brief moment of comfortable silence and staring in different directions, he spoke up and turned his gaze to her. "Being a leader… I am aware that the entire squad has gone through hell and back. And it kills me to have to do repulsive actions—more like sacrifices—from time to time. You know that. It may make me seem heartless… but that's not the case. If only the people knew what things were at stake if drastic measures weren't observed. They'd be losing so much more."
She broke their gaze for a moment to let his speech sink in; though found her eyes back where they were once she heard his follow-up. "As for being a person… what else are we to do? It was our choice… where we are right now. We chose to fight for mankind. Many times these missions have ended in shit, but would you rather sit and do nothing at all, or fight as long as you can, in belief of imminent victory? You have to be motivated by something." A slight curve at the tip of his mouth crept up. "And for you, it's evident that you're driven by your overly strange and creepy Titan fetish."
She was actually surprised that he said that much, even more that he brought her into the conversation. With this he was rewarded (she was as well) with a pretty surprising response. "You motivate me too," she said without thinking; maybe even stuttering slightly as she let go of the response. Upon realizing what words she let escape from her mouth, she blushed, and he saw it, which caused him to pull away a little to hide his blushing face as well (which was so unlike him). When he had recovered, he chuckled, shook his head, and patted hers as he stood up.
But before he could leave (again), she caught his hand and spoke solemnly, with her head bowed, "So does the idea of exploring the outside world." Strike 3, he was stunned once more. As a first impression, it hit him as absurd. But before he could make a rash remark, he had the heart (for her) to consider the idea, "You'll see it later this day, don't worry."
She brightened up for a moment; thought he understood and thought perhaps that statement was a suggestion… but the brief excitement died immediately and was replaced by grimace as she realized what he was referring to. "No… that's not what I meant…"
"Honestly, Hanji, I fail to see what excites you about that boring, large field with those useless, lonely trees scattered around. They're a pain; the Maneuver Gear's totally useless out there, a complete invitation of death. But then again, I fail to find reason behind the things that amuse you," she thought he said rather coldly…but was there a tinge of sweetness in there too? "It's swarming with Titans out there, so I guess that's one of the reasons why you want to explore that. Huh, for a moment there I thought you needed better glasses."
It was a bad idea to bring this up, she thought. This was exactly the reason to why she kept these things to herself. She waved it off with her hand and shook her head idly, dismissing the whole idea in a gesture that'd make her seem like she was fanning the air before her.
"Get up, you're a mess." He was halfway across the room. "And I am not fond of disorder." She could hear a faint smile in his voice, but before she knew it, he was already out the door.
That brief moment they shared in her bedroom had been the longest time she had looked into his eyes, and it had been sweet. Never did she expect that the next instance for her to have a lingering glance at those steely blue eyes was in the moment of his ultimate struggle for life.
She felt her own eyes clouding with tears, distorting the image before her. But maybe, she thought, it was better that way. She desperately gripped Levi's hand and squeezed from time to time, to remind him to hold on as she kneeled by his side. How did it ever come to this?
Two large eyes beaming … locked on her. A mighty arm. A gigantic hand… swift…swinging at her. Falling... Blurred images… Colliding with the hard ground. Then… then…Levi… That was all she could afford to recall; this scene, followed by momentary black out, then eventually waking to find she was unconscious, with a bleeding Levi beside her. She broke free from her brief and fragmental recollection and resurfaced to reality. They were retreating. Lucky was she to be on the same cart as Levi at this crucial moment. Lucky was she to have survived.
Levi, the Lance Corporal Rivaille, was now a helplessly vulnerable being sprawled before her. It was unbelievable; it just wasn't fit for his image. Of course, this thought was pointless and, to some extent, insensitive, but she couldn't help it. The whole thing happened too fast. And despite her abilities, despite his abilities, they both fell as prey to the immense creatures that dominated their land.
"Hey," she attempted small talk to keep his consciousness. "C'mon don't die on me now," she was pleading, and felt her voice hitch.
"I still…" cue the tears. "I want to see that world with you. You know exactly what I'm talking about." She was desperate for a reaction. "I know you do."
She sensed the slightest movement in his eyelids as she said this, but they decided to remain shut. She felt a little hope drain out. But then,
"B-Bloody Specs," ironically, she did have a trace of blood on her spectacles at the moment; drying blood from her head, caused by the blow as she fell. "Your glasses are flooding inside."
"Well, don't excite yourself too much with my death," he managed a soft laugh and forced his eyes on her. "We will."
Physically, he seemed in pain, but he was also giving off a contagious vibe that made him seem at peace…
"I promise." With an effort, he squeezed her hand once more as he resigned for the day.