My friend and I got thinking: what even goes on inside the Mayor's head? He can't speak, so we don't know if he even returns Dave's feelings. And so, this piece of work was written.
Disclaimer: I don't own Homestuck.
The red human with the strange things covering his eyes patted your head as you barely concealed your glare. He kept patting it, as if you were some kind of dog! That's it. You glared. But the stupid human was too oblivious to see it.
"Don't worry, Mayor," he said, his cheek pressing against yours. You want to bite him, though you have no mouth.
I hate you. I hate you, you think. The red human continues his shenanigans.
The human looked down at the thing on his wrist, and a voice came out.
"Dave! We have a problem!" the voice shouts.
"What is it, Karkat?" the red human asks. He's stupid. Obviously there's a problem that needs fixing. Idiot. Just go away. That way he can cease bothering you, even if it's for a little while.
The red human turns to you and grins. If you looked like a human, pure horror would have crossed your face. He leaned in and kissed your forehead.
Nonononononononononononononono! You can already feel the horrible human germs soak through your hood and onto your skin. You need something to clean it off immediately!
But the human doesn't realize this. After all, they are complete and total idiots, especially this red human who's torturing you.
"I love you," the knucklehead says.
How can he love you?! Can he not feel the waves of hatred you send towards his figure as he walks to the gate?! Is he that daft?
You lean your shoulders forward in the imitation of a human sigh. The red human has left, giving you time to plan your escape. You don't know how to reach the gate, though. You are unable to fly like the red human and his blue friend. And that doggy girl that tried to kill you.
You shiver. At least the red human, no matter how much you hate him, had saved you. You don't want to die. You have many things to do with your life.
Example A: get out of this place and flee from the red human.
Example B: rebuild the city. Those gray things that call themselves "trolls" probably destroyed it already, uncivilized freaks.
Example C: push the red human off a cliff.
See all the great things you could be doing if the red human had not trapped you in this land full of lava? It's all his fault you are not accomplishing these great things. You cannot even try to fly because the platform you are currently standing on is surrounded by lava.
The red human is a sneaky idiot. Sneaky, but still an idiot. You will find a way. You're just waiting for the right moment.
And then you can push the red human into the lava.
If you had a mouth, you would be smiling.
Also, if you had a mouth, you wouldn't be stuck in this situation in the first place because the humans and gray beings cannot understand your race's way of communicating.
You blame the evolutionary chain on Derse for all of this happening to you. You add another thing to the list of the great things you will accomplish once you are off this platform.
Example D: destroy Derse.
There are some happy thoughts for your minds. I'm sorry if this fic offended any Dave/Mayor shippers anywhere. Thanks to cobaltMnemosyne for the wonderful idea!
Read and Review! If you hated it, review! If you loved it, review! If you want to read an alternate version of this fic, review! If you- I think you got the idea.
Anyway, I've opened up a request box. Just review any one of my stories with a request. I'll eventually post a thing to send all your requests to!
Until Next Time,
Kato