Disclaimer: All the characters belong to Joss Whedon, none to me.
Unfortunately.
„Forget it. I am not going back there."
"Faith...it's not like you really had a choice in the matter. It's either the council or back to jail."
Angel reached over and wanted to place a hand on her shoulder, but she moved away from him, over to the window, into the sunlight where he couldn't reach her. She looked back at him, her brown eyes flashing angrily.
"They tried to kill me. TWICE. And you think I am just gonna go there and say 'Here I am, sorry for everything, gimme my job back'? I don't think so."
"So, another year in jail?"
"No way. Even though it would be the lesser of the two evils, still, no way."
"Forgive me, but you make it sound like there was another way. Get it into your head, there is none. The council got you out of jail under the condition that you'd go back to training for six month and then get reinstalled as a slayer with Wesley as your watcher. And you agreed, remember?" Angel asked, frustration obvious in his voice.
"I lied. Hell, I would have agreed to sell them my soul to get out of jail." Faith said, then sighed. "I can train here. And I do the slaying anyways. But I am not gonna go to London, and I don't take orders from Wesley."
"You're taking orders from me."
Faith looked over, or better, she glared over for a moment. "Within reason. And that's something completely different, because I..." she cut off and turned her back on him, staring out of the window.
"Because what?"
"Nothing. Forget it. I'm not gonna go and that's it."
She fell silent and after a few moments of staring at her back, Angel sighed and left the room, feeling tired.
"So...did she make a decision?" Wes looked at Angel, expectantly, but his face soon fell when he saw the expression on Angel's face. "She didn't."
"Well, she doesn't want to go. Neither to London nor to jail. She isn't really reasonable about the whole thing."
"We're talking about Faith. She isn't reasonable about anything."
Angel frowned, then nodded reluctantly. "Guess you're right. But that doesn't help at all. Don't you think that there would be a way to come to an agreement with the Council? Maybe she could do that training here?"
Wes sighed. "Angel…the Council was more than leery about her at all. Taking her back is a big thing for them already. Their original plan was to kill her as you well know. And they will not simply reinstall her just because you or I say that she has changed. They want to see it with their eyes, and not only for a day or two."
"In other words, they don't trust me, and they want to have me under control. And one wrong move and I am sure somebody will be more than willing to place a bullet right between my eyes. Who guarantees me that I can trust them?" Faith asked while slowly coming down the stairs, looking from Wesley to Angel. "And the whole discussion is completely unnecessary. I will *not*....N-O-T go to London, and I will *not* go to
jail. Discussion over."
She threw her jacket over her shoulder and walked towards the front door.
"Where're you going?"
She shrugged. "Dunno. Out."
Angel went after her, but before he could reach her, she moved out of the doors and into the sunlight. Angel stopped in his tracks and cursed, then looked back at Wes.
"We have a problem."
~~~~~~~~~
"If you only knew
What I feel for you
If you only lived for me
The way I live for you
I'd be in heaven
My dreams would come true
'Cause all I've ever wanted
Is you
And you alone
And I love you so
More than you could ever know
All I've ever wanted
Is you
If you were my own
To caress and hold
I would shower you with love
And drown within your soul
Because I live and breathe for you
And I really need to know
That all I've ever wanted
Is you
And you alone
And I love you so
More than you could ever know
All I've ever wanted
Is you
Everything I do is for you
You are every part of me
And I don't want to face
Another day
Alone
Without your love
'Cause all I've ever wanted
Is you
And you alone
And I love you so
More than you could ever know
All I've ever wanted
Is you..."
Faith stepped from the stage and walked over to the table where Lorne was sitting, smiling at her.
"You were great, like always, sweetheart. I really don't understand why you never sing when you're here with the others."
"I'm not in the mood for compliments, really. Just...tell me what you saw."
"The same as always. You know what you want, and you know you can't have it. Things aren't gonna change if you keep clinging to something impossible." Lorne said softly.
"Clinging to something impossible kept me going since I woke up from the coma, brought me through the time in jail, kept me on the straight and narrow...if I give that up, what's left?" she asked, meeting Lorne's eyes.
"You."
"That's not enough, it never was. It was always me, and see where it brought me...nowhere." She said quietly. "I can't win this, right?"
Lorne sighed. "Not in this life."
Faith nodded. "Okay." She got up and took her jacket. "Thanks..."
Lorne kept sitting. He knew it was futile, things were going to happen anyways, but he could at least try. "Faith...be careful."
She nodded. "Like always."
She left the club, roamed through the streets for hours, she didn't want to go back to the Hotel, but she had no idea where else to go, so she finally ended at the Hyperion again.
She pushed the doors open, stopping dead in her tracks, staring at the scene that was unfolding in front of her eyes.
Angel was standing at the counter while Buffy stood a few feet away next to one of the seats, and Faith could feel the tension heavy in the air. Tension and….she couldn't place her finger on it, but there was something else. She moved closer and looked over at Buffy, who slowly towards Angel.
"Faith...how nice." She said and there was something in her voice....
Suddenly, things all went very fast. Buffy pulled something out from under her coat and made a quick move towards Angel, who found himself pushed out of the way by Faith with a force that send him to the floor.
From his position he saw Buffy and Faith in a fight, only a few seconds, then the shape-shifting demon revealed his true form and howled in about the failure of its plan.
It disappeared, leaving a shattered window behind and Faith turned to look to Angel.
"B never called me by my name and she would never have said it's nice to see me." She stated with a grin and held a hand out to help Angel up, but he kept sitting, staring at her.
"What? Did I grow horns all of a sudden?" she asked, puzzled.
"Faith..."
She looked down on herself, astonishment obvious on her face when she saw the stake, driven though her chest, blood slowly soaking her shirt.
"Doesn't hurt." She said, incredulously. "But maybe I should sit down." And she did, on the next best chair. "Guess that was planned for you." She said, meeting Angel's eyes, he had finally gotten up and moved next to her.
"I told you B wasn't good for you. Believe me now?" she asked with a grin, a grin that faded when she got the metallic taste of blood in her mouth, her own blood, obviously. "I have the bad feeling she hit something vital."
Angel knew there was nothing he could do, no ambulance would be quick enough, and even if, there was no chance to keep the inevitable from happening.
"She hit your heart...couldn't be more vital." He said quietly, and Faith nodded, leaning her head against his shoulder, suddenly feeling tired.
"And you said that I didn't have a choice. Guess I won't go to London, and not to jail now. I knew there was another way. There always is." murmured, her eyes slowly drifting shut.
Angel nodded, his ability to speak temporary unavailable, and he had never felt more power- and helpless than in that very moment. He his arm around Faith' shoulder, carefully.
"Yeah, there always is..." he whispered, choked.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
~Somewhen around midnight the next night~
Angel stood in Faith' room, packing the few things she had into a bag. It wasn't much, mostly clothes and a few personal things, and when he was finished, he looked around in the room, sadly. There was nothing left that even reminded of her anymore.
He left the room and locked it, walking downstairs. Wes and Cordy were there, both looking tired and worn out.
"What are you gonna do with it?" Cordy asked, pointing to the bag.
"Don't know." Angel shrugged, then walked past them and disappeared in the back of the hotel. Once out of sight he went to the back door and pulled it open, stepping outside.
"Here. And here's some money. You'll need it." He said, handing Faith the bag, his car keys and the money.
She took it, placing the bag on the back seat of the car and stuffed the money into her pocket.
"Thank you. Not only for this...you know..."
The wind tousled her hair and she tugged it behind her ear, revealing the still fresh biting marks at her neck.
"Do you think that Willow will keep it to herself?" she asked.
"At least long enough to give you a good head start. She promised." Angel said softly.
"Yeah...and I trust her. She could have easily killed me. But she just did the curse...she didn't even ask what happened."
Angel nodded, silently, then watched her get into the car. "You can't come back here, at least not for the next...sixty years or something."
Faith looked back over her shoulder, a small smile playing over her face. "Doesn't matter...I have all the time in the world now, remember?"
Without waiting for an answer she started the engine and slowly backed the car out of the alley. Once on the street, she floored the pedal and never looked back at the Hyperion, or Angel who stood leaned against the building.
What she had said had been true, it didn't matter how long she would have to wait until she could return, until maybe they found a way to make the souls permanent, it all didn't matter. Knowing that he loved her enough not to let her die, that he had rather turned her than lose her was all she needed to go on for as long as it took. No matter how long that was.
She drove on, towards an unknown future, something completely new, and for the first time in her life, she was really feeling free.
~End~
„Forget it. I am not going back there."
"Faith...it's not like you really had a choice in the matter. It's either the council or back to jail."
Angel reached over and wanted to place a hand on her shoulder, but she moved away from him, over to the window, into the sunlight where he couldn't reach her. She looked back at him, her brown eyes flashing angrily.
"They tried to kill me. TWICE. And you think I am just gonna go there and say 'Here I am, sorry for everything, gimme my job back'? I don't think so."
"So, another year in jail?"
"No way. Even though it would be the lesser of the two evils, still, no way."
"Forgive me, but you make it sound like there was another way. Get it into your head, there is none. The council got you out of jail under the condition that you'd go back to training for six month and then get reinstalled as a slayer with Wesley as your watcher. And you agreed, remember?" Angel asked, frustration obvious in his voice.
"I lied. Hell, I would have agreed to sell them my soul to get out of jail." Faith said, then sighed. "I can train here. And I do the slaying anyways. But I am not gonna go to London, and I don't take orders from Wesley."
"You're taking orders from me."
Faith looked over, or better, she glared over for a moment. "Within reason. And that's something completely different, because I..." she cut off and turned her back on him, staring out of the window.
"Because what?"
"Nothing. Forget it. I'm not gonna go and that's it."
She fell silent and after a few moments of staring at her back, Angel sighed and left the room, feeling tired.
"So...did she make a decision?" Wes looked at Angel, expectantly, but his face soon fell when he saw the expression on Angel's face. "She didn't."
"Well, she doesn't want to go. Neither to London nor to jail. She isn't really reasonable about the whole thing."
"We're talking about Faith. She isn't reasonable about anything."
Angel frowned, then nodded reluctantly. "Guess you're right. But that doesn't help at all. Don't you think that there would be a way to come to an agreement with the Council? Maybe she could do that training here?"
Wes sighed. "Angel…the Council was more than leery about her at all. Taking her back is a big thing for them already. Their original plan was to kill her as you well know. And they will not simply reinstall her just because you or I say that she has changed. They want to see it with their eyes, and not only for a day or two."
"In other words, they don't trust me, and they want to have me under control. And one wrong move and I am sure somebody will be more than willing to place a bullet right between my eyes. Who guarantees me that I can trust them?" Faith asked while slowly coming down the stairs, looking from Wesley to Angel. "And the whole discussion is completely unnecessary. I will *not*....N-O-T go to London, and I will *not* go to
jail. Discussion over."
She threw her jacket over her shoulder and walked towards the front door.
"Where're you going?"
She shrugged. "Dunno. Out."
Angel went after her, but before he could reach her, she moved out of the doors and into the sunlight. Angel stopped in his tracks and cursed, then looked back at Wes.
"We have a problem."
~~~~~~~~~
"If you only knew
What I feel for you
If you only lived for me
The way I live for you
I'd be in heaven
My dreams would come true
'Cause all I've ever wanted
Is you
And you alone
And I love you so
More than you could ever know
All I've ever wanted
Is you
If you were my own
To caress and hold
I would shower you with love
And drown within your soul
Because I live and breathe for you
And I really need to know
That all I've ever wanted
Is you
And you alone
And I love you so
More than you could ever know
All I've ever wanted
Is you
Everything I do is for you
You are every part of me
And I don't want to face
Another day
Alone
Without your love
'Cause all I've ever wanted
Is you
And you alone
And I love you so
More than you could ever know
All I've ever wanted
Is you..."
Faith stepped from the stage and walked over to the table where Lorne was sitting, smiling at her.
"You were great, like always, sweetheart. I really don't understand why you never sing when you're here with the others."
"I'm not in the mood for compliments, really. Just...tell me what you saw."
"The same as always. You know what you want, and you know you can't have it. Things aren't gonna change if you keep clinging to something impossible." Lorne said softly.
"Clinging to something impossible kept me going since I woke up from the coma, brought me through the time in jail, kept me on the straight and narrow...if I give that up, what's left?" she asked, meeting Lorne's eyes.
"You."
"That's not enough, it never was. It was always me, and see where it brought me...nowhere." She said quietly. "I can't win this, right?"
Lorne sighed. "Not in this life."
Faith nodded. "Okay." She got up and took her jacket. "Thanks..."
Lorne kept sitting. He knew it was futile, things were going to happen anyways, but he could at least try. "Faith...be careful."
She nodded. "Like always."
She left the club, roamed through the streets for hours, she didn't want to go back to the Hotel, but she had no idea where else to go, so she finally ended at the Hyperion again.
She pushed the doors open, stopping dead in her tracks, staring at the scene that was unfolding in front of her eyes.
Angel was standing at the counter while Buffy stood a few feet away next to one of the seats, and Faith could feel the tension heavy in the air. Tension and….she couldn't place her finger on it, but there was something else. She moved closer and looked over at Buffy, who slowly towards Angel.
"Faith...how nice." She said and there was something in her voice....
Suddenly, things all went very fast. Buffy pulled something out from under her coat and made a quick move towards Angel, who found himself pushed out of the way by Faith with a force that send him to the floor.
From his position he saw Buffy and Faith in a fight, only a few seconds, then the shape-shifting demon revealed his true form and howled in about the failure of its plan.
It disappeared, leaving a shattered window behind and Faith turned to look to Angel.
"B never called me by my name and she would never have said it's nice to see me." She stated with a grin and held a hand out to help Angel up, but he kept sitting, staring at her.
"What? Did I grow horns all of a sudden?" she asked, puzzled.
"Faith..."
She looked down on herself, astonishment obvious on her face when she saw the stake, driven though her chest, blood slowly soaking her shirt.
"Doesn't hurt." She said, incredulously. "But maybe I should sit down." And she did, on the next best chair. "Guess that was planned for you." She said, meeting Angel's eyes, he had finally gotten up and moved next to her.
"I told you B wasn't good for you. Believe me now?" she asked with a grin, a grin that faded when she got the metallic taste of blood in her mouth, her own blood, obviously. "I have the bad feeling she hit something vital."
Angel knew there was nothing he could do, no ambulance would be quick enough, and even if, there was no chance to keep the inevitable from happening.
"She hit your heart...couldn't be more vital." He said quietly, and Faith nodded, leaning her head against his shoulder, suddenly feeling tired.
"And you said that I didn't have a choice. Guess I won't go to London, and not to jail now. I knew there was another way. There always is." murmured, her eyes slowly drifting shut.
Angel nodded, his ability to speak temporary unavailable, and he had never felt more power- and helpless than in that very moment. He his arm around Faith' shoulder, carefully.
"Yeah, there always is..." he whispered, choked.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
~Somewhen around midnight the next night~
Angel stood in Faith' room, packing the few things she had into a bag. It wasn't much, mostly clothes and a few personal things, and when he was finished, he looked around in the room, sadly. There was nothing left that even reminded of her anymore.
He left the room and locked it, walking downstairs. Wes and Cordy were there, both looking tired and worn out.
"What are you gonna do with it?" Cordy asked, pointing to the bag.
"Don't know." Angel shrugged, then walked past them and disappeared in the back of the hotel. Once out of sight he went to the back door and pulled it open, stepping outside.
"Here. And here's some money. You'll need it." He said, handing Faith the bag, his car keys and the money.
She took it, placing the bag on the back seat of the car and stuffed the money into her pocket.
"Thank you. Not only for this...you know..."
The wind tousled her hair and she tugged it behind her ear, revealing the still fresh biting marks at her neck.
"Do you think that Willow will keep it to herself?" she asked.
"At least long enough to give you a good head start. She promised." Angel said softly.
"Yeah...and I trust her. She could have easily killed me. But she just did the curse...she didn't even ask what happened."
Angel nodded, silently, then watched her get into the car. "You can't come back here, at least not for the next...sixty years or something."
Faith looked back over her shoulder, a small smile playing over her face. "Doesn't matter...I have all the time in the world now, remember?"
Without waiting for an answer she started the engine and slowly backed the car out of the alley. Once on the street, she floored the pedal and never looked back at the Hyperion, or Angel who stood leaned against the building.
What she had said had been true, it didn't matter how long she would have to wait until she could return, until maybe they found a way to make the souls permanent, it all didn't matter. Knowing that he loved her enough not to let her die, that he had rather turned her than lose her was all she needed to go on for as long as it took. No matter how long that was.
She drove on, towards an unknown future, something completely new, and for the first time in her life, she was really feeling free.
~End~