This is my first Castle fic. It's more of a what if fic. This is set sometime in season 5. It starts of angsty, but I promise that it will have a happy ending.
Castle is off doing a press tour for a new book. While he's gone, Beckett gets some news. News that is exciting for her, but because of recent comments he's made, make her question everything.
Kate Beckett had never been happier in her life. She had everything that she'd ever wanted out of life. She loved her job. She had an incredible man that loved her. Despite all of the twists and turns that their relationship had taken over the years, they'd finally found each other. Despite all the odds, they were finally happy.
Castle had wanted her to come along on his press tour with him. However, they had been extremely busy at the Precinct. So, despite wanting to come along with him, Gates couldn't approve the time off. She'd been disappointed, but Castle had promised to call every night. She'd promised him that she would watch each of his interviews.
He'd been gone for nearly a week when she got some startling news from her doctor. She'd went in for a routine checkup. When she was filling out the pre-exam paperwork, she had to stop and think about when her last menstrual cycle had come. She bit her bottom lip and realized that it had been nearly six weeks. This worried her. She had always been regular before. She always started on the same day. Without fail. She didn't have much time to think about it before the nurse called her back to the exam room.
The nurse was quiet as she checked over her paperwork and entered it into the computer for the doctor. Kate saw her eyebrows arch and she realized that she must have read that it had been six weeks since her last cycle. Because she turned to Kate and said, "Are you sure it's been six weeks?"
Kate nodded, "Positive. You know I'm very regular."
The nurse nodded and reached over to the side and handed her a small plastic cup and said, "I would like to get a urine sample. To rule out anything serious."
Kate stood up and headed into the patient restroom. When she was done, she placed the sample into the little metal box. She heard the door open on the other side. She washed her hands and walked back to the exam room. She sat down and waited for her doctor. She wasn't nervous in the least. There had to be a good reason for her being late. She never dreamed that the answer would change her life forever.
Two hours later she finally walked out of the doctor's office. To say that she was shocked at the news he'd given her would have been a major understatement. She drove home on auto pilot. She wasn't sure how she made it home without getting into at least one accident. She walked up the steps in a daze. She sat down on the couch in the home that she shared with Castle and thought back to what happened at the appointment.
She'd been thinking that she was sick. That she had some kind of infection. She had been waiting for her doctor to write a prescription and she would be all better.
What he had told her had rocked her to her core. He had come into the exam room with a huge smile on his face. He'd asked her a few routine questions. Questions about how she'd been feeling and if she'd felt under the weather. She answered him truthfully when she told him, "I've never felt better. I've been a little more tired than usual, but it's been a busy time at work."
He'd simply nodded and typed something into her records. Kate turned her head to the side and asked, "Is everything okay? Am I sick? Can you give me something to take care of it?"
The doctor laughed and said, "It's nothing that you can take care of with a prescription. You should be back to normal in about eight months or so."
She just looked at him with a blank stare. She didn't understand what he was trying to tell her, "What's wrong with me?"
The doctor had smiled and said, "You're pregnant."
She had sat in the exam room in her doctor's office and felt all of the air leave her lungs. When she was finally able to speak she asked, "I can't be pregnant. I'm on the pill."
"It's not one hundred percent effective. Have you been sick recently? Taken any antibiotics?"
She thought back and remembered that she had been sick. She'd been sick and her doctor had given her antibiotics to take. She whispered, "Yes."
He nodded and said, "Well, antibiotics can cause birth control pills to fail."
She knew that. She had known that for years. Which is why in her past relationships, she'd been religious about using other forms of birth control whenever she'd been sick or taking medicine. However, with Castle, she had never thought about it.
She simply nodded and asked, "Are you sure?"
"I'm fairly certain. The pregnancy test came back positive. However, I want to draw some blood and perform more tests."
She nodded again and swallowed hard. The doctor noticed the look of disbelief on her face and asked, "I take it you weren't planning on becoming pregnant."
Kate laughed harshly and said, "Hardly. I thought I was too old. I..."
Her doctor laughed and said, "I would hardly call you old. You still have plenty of years left to have a baby."
She looked at him funny and he could see that she didn't feel any better. Even with the words of encouragement. He told her, "You can get an abortion. You're early enough along that it's a simple procedure."
Kate looked up at him and felt as if he'd slapped her. Of all the things running through her mind, getting an abortion wasn't one of them. She shook her head and whispered, "I don't think I could do that."
He nodded softly, "There's still plenty of time for you to make that decision. I want to see you back in a month. Sooner if you decide to terminate the pregnancy. I will tell the nurses to come in and draw your blood."
Kate simply nodded and watched him leave the room. She felt as if she were in a tunnel. The rest of the visit she finished on auto pilot.
She was brought out of her thoughts when her phone signaled a text message. She smiled when she saw Castle's face. She read the message and smiled again: Don't forget to watch me tonight. I love you. I wish you were here with me.
Kate smiled sadly and whispered to the empty loft, "I wish I was there with you also."
God she missed him. There had been a time when she hadn't needed anyone in her life. She had been happy being alone. That was before she'd met and fallen in love with Richard Castle. He'd worked his way into her heart and into her life. Slowly, but surely making her fall in love with him. She'd moved in with him about two months ago. It had been a hard decision for her to make, but she hadn't regretted it. Waking up beside him each morning was wonderful.
She was worried that this baby would come between their new relationship. They hadn't talked about having children. She'd never given it a thought. She had been so ridiculously in love with him that her normally cautious nature had fallen by the wayside. She was like a teenager with her first crush. She was surprised that the others hadn't caught on to their relationship sooner. She was sure that the would have been able to tell because of how she smiled brighter. Maybe they had known. However, none of them said anything. So, she kept quiet.
She put her hand on her still flat stomach and wondered how on earth she was going to tell him that he was going to become a father again. Would he be happy? Or would he be angry at her for the mistake? She didn't know and she wished that he was here so that she could get it over with. She decided that she would just tell him and then they would decide what to do after the fact.
She turned on the tv and turned up the volume. She smiled when his face filled the screen. She was still so much in love with this man. At one time, she had hated him. Thought that he was just a bi kid. Sure, he still acted like it at times, but she realized that was simply part of who he was. It was part of what made her love him even more. He could make her smile even when she wanted to cry. Gave her the strength to go on, when everything else told her to quit. His faith in her was unfaltering. She realized that made her love him that much more.
She turned up the volume in time to hear the host ask his first question. It was about their relationship.
"So, Mister Castle, you have recently started a relationship with your long time partner, Kate Beckett. Our viewers want to know, are there wedding bells in your future?"
Castle simply smiled and said, "We are taking it slowly. It's a new relationship and neither one of us want to rush things. Although I would gladly marry her. I love her with all my heart and soul."
That made Kate smile brightly. However, her smile faltered when the man kept asking questions about their personal life.
The man smiled and fished for more, "Your daughter recently went off to college. You must miss her. Have you ever thought of having more children? You're still quite young."
Castle had what Kate could only describe as a deer in the headlights kind of look. They had never discussed children. She sat up and her face was glued to the tv screen. She swallowed hard and waited for him to answer.
Her heart broke when she heard his reply. Castle smiled at the cameras and said, "I'm honestly content with only having one child. I can't see myself becoming a father again at my age."
The remote fell out of Kate's hand and she felt the tears sliding down her cheeks at his words. It was at that moment that the bottom fell out of her world and she wondered if this baby would be the beginning of their end.
She didn't hear anything after that answer. She picked up the remote and walked out of the living room and practically fell into their bed. She hugged his pillow and let the tears fall freely. She sobbed uncontrollably and she was glad that he wasn't there, because she didn't want him to see her fall apart. She didn't want him to see the heartbreak that his answer had caused.
She fell asleep a short time later. Hearing her phone ring in the distance made her cry even harder. Her last thought was that she was going to have this baby. Even if it meant the end of her and Castle's relationship...