Author's Note: Ok so I would like to begin by saying that I love all of the FF8 characters so killing off Selphie and Squall was not out of hate at all, but it had to be done to make the idea that I had for this story work. I hope that you like the story, but if not then pleacse still review and let me know what you did not like about it, and I can take it from there! Thank you for your time! PEACE!
Neither one of them really knew how it came to be, they only knew that their shared heartache was the common ground that initially bonded them together, it was the pain they both knew one another felt for the loss of their true loves that made them feel what they were doing after six months of grieving was in a way ok, not fully, but in some way. Irvine slid his hands up Rinoa's short white dress and slipped off her Lacie white panties, then lifting her on the counter of the locked ladies room in local pub. It was so strange at first, they didn't know if they should when this all stated a couple of weeks ago, but with each lonely sleepless night they both grew weaker and turned to each other for companionship. Rinoa ran her thin fingers along Irvine's firm chest, she closed her eyes, and thought of Squall, a single tear trickles down her soft porcelain cheek, Irvine caught the sad sight and knew exactly what she was feeling for he felt the same way. He leaned down and gently kissed her, she had soft beautiful lips, but they were not Selphie's lips, his stomach tightened he continued with it, they never felt fully right, but it did subside the loneliness if only for a moment. It was all a blur tonight, being drunk had nothing to do with it for it was always a blur even when they weren't drunk.
Rinoa and Irvine both woke up in their own beds, feeling the way they always felt, alone, for that is one of the only feelings you can feel when the love of your life leaves and you know there is no possibility that they shall ever return to you.
Rinoa layed in bed for a moment holding back the tears of last night, Squall, Selphie, everything, she lost the love of her life and her best friend in one second and now she and Irvine were comforting each other in such a way that she knew if their loves could only see they would hate them forever. Rinoa forced herself out of bed she stood there for a moment in Squall's shirt that was much to baggy for her skinny frame inhaling the sent form the shirt, and then began to cry as she realized the sent was fading away.
Irvine began his morning as he normally did with just enough jack to numb the pain, he was sitting on the side of the bed slumped down knowing that if Seplhie saw him drinking at this time of day she would slap him senseless. He sat there with his bottle of jack in one hand and a picture of him and Seplhie in the other, she was sitting on his lap with one arm tight around his neck she was wearing his cowboy hat, she was always stilling it from him, he didn't mind though she always looked so cut in it, they both smiled brightly at the camera, as Rinoa took a picture of a moment they all thought would last forever.
Rinoa made her way to the cafeteria, she scanned the line, were Zell waited in line for his beloved hot dogs, but the once vivacious blonde boy now stood there his eyes to his feet and his hands tucked deep into his pocket, it was so strange not seeing him jumping around talking to himself in excitment over the thought of food. Her eyes made their was to the tables, she then spotted Quistis, and made her way over to her friend grading some papers.
Rinoa: Hey.
Quistis: (smiling softly) Hey Rin.
Rinoa: (sitting down) Why isn't Seifer with you this moring?
Quistis: He went to the training center, I think he was having bad dreams again last night. Rinoa: He really needs to stop blaming himself, nobody else does.
Quistis: Yeah, but I think he feels that he was never allowed to come back to the garden it wouldn't have happened.
Rinoa: That is just something we will never know, but the point is that it did happen and he should not blame himself.
Quistis: (serious) Rinoa?
Rinoa: Yeah?
Quistis: I know you and Seifer have a past, and since Seifer and I are together now it is weird for me to be asking you this, but will you please talk to him, I think it would mean more coming from you, since you and Squall were in love, if he knew that you of all people didn't blame him, then maybe he could stop tourturing himself.
Rinoa: (surprised) Are you sure Quist?
Quistis: Yes. It would mean alot to him, it would mean alot to me too.
Rinoa: Ok then, of course.
Quistis: (sincerely) Thank you Rinoa.
Rinoa: (sweetly) Anything for you, you have been so great through all of this.
With that Rinoa stood and walked away tears swelling up in her, she tried to hold them back, but she was never able to hold back the tears anymore. She picked up the pace to get out of the cafiteria, and then broke into a run once she hit the hallway, she could barely see anythings through her moistened eyes it was then as she closed in on the training center doors that she ran into Irvine, he stood there for a moment not saying anything, he just held her closely and stroked her hair.
Irvine: (sincerly) Shh. What's wrong?
Rinoa: I'm ok I just talked to Quistis, and it got me worked up for some reason.
Irvine: (angry) Yeah I know what you mean, I want to tell that traitor off every time I see her. Rinoa: (confused) What?
Irvine: You know, she is with Seifer like it is no big damn deal, like we could just except it after he got Selphie and Squall killed, it would not have happened if he wouldn't have came back, if he just listened to Squall instead of always trying to one up him, it was all his fault the mission went wrong!
Rinoa: Yes he should have listened to Squall, but he would have never intentionally got them killed.
Irvine: That's not the point Rinoa, he did get them killed, because he is a cocky bastard who cant play by the rules.
Rinoa: And he payed for it he pays for it everyday, isn't that enough, cant we be the bigger people and forgive.
Irvine: He pays for nothing, we do, you and I! All the guilt in the world could never be enough, and I will never forgive him, and you are a trator too if you forgive him.
Rinoa: (hurt) Irvine.
Irvine: Forget it Rinoa, I cant look at you right now.
Irvine walked away leaving Rinoa standing there stunned, she turned to the doors of the training center after a moment only to see Seifer standing there with a look of true pain in his eyes, one she had never seen him have except for that day. She took a deep breath and began to walk to him, unsure of what she should say to him after he heard something like that. His eyes made their way to the floor apone her approaching him, she took another deep breath and put her hand on his slumped shoulders.
Rinoa: Seifer, it was only the hurt talking, give it time. Nobody really feels that way, people just need someone to blame when things like this happen, ya know.
Seifer: He's right Rin, I was stupid, always trying to show Squall up and be the leader, when he was the one who earned it, I lead them in a death trap and I was the only one to get out alive, me... why me.
Rinoa: (sighed) Because it was meant to be I guess, I don't think a thing like that can ever make since.
Seifer: You two were really in love werent you.
Rinoa: (smiled and painful smile to herself) Yes, more then words could describe.
Seifer: Then why do you not blame me?
Rinoa: For a moment I did, but if Quistis can see the good in you that I once saw three years ago then it would not be right to blame you, if someone is willing to change then you shouldnt keep grudging up their past mistakes.
Seifer: Thank you Rinoa.
Rinoa: No problem.
Rinoa walked away, hoping that she was right to have done that, hoping that it wouldn't ruin what her and Irvine now had, because honestly she didn't think she could handle another loss right now. However she did decide to give him his space and went about her normal day, going to the library, taking Angelo on a walk, and then standing at the balcony that her and Squall shared their first kiss until she decided to retire to her room for the evening.
Irvine on the other hand skipped his normal day and locked himself away in his room polishing off the bottle of jack, feeling almost as insane as he felt when he realized he would never again get to see Selphie's face, or hear her voice, or in hail her scent, or even hold her. He stewed inside for awhile then went to the training center to let off some steam. After what seemed like hundreds of monsters later Irvine, decided to head back to his room, he was now sober. but as he approached Rinoa's room on the way to his it seemed as though he could not make himself go any further, he stood outside her door now regretting his angry words from earlier, she was hurting as much as he was and did not deserve what he said to her.
Meanwhile Rinoa layed on her bed feeling more lonely then ever, usually if she was feeling the least bit lonely she would sneak to Irvine's room, but truth be told he was the reason she was feeling so lonely right now, for she could not turn to Quistis, because Quistus could never fully understand how she was feeling, Irvine was her only support system, and with him mad at her she did not know what to do. She stood and walked to the door debating if it had been long enough and if Irvine had yet cooled off, she tood there with her hand on the open button, wondering what she should do, go lay back down and try to make it through this night alone for once or try to go patch things up with Irvine, she was unsure what to do so she just decided to go to the vending machines to get her favorite mid night snack while she decided what to do.
However they were both surprised to be face to face when Rinoa opened the door, they both stood their for a moment silent, a slight smile dancing across both of their faces, knowing that one another were going to the other to apologize.
Rinoa: I was just deciding if I should go to your room to say I'm sorry.
Irvine: I was just deciding if I should knock on the door to tell you I'm sorry.
Rinoa: Irvine you have every right to be upset, things are confusing right now.
Irvine: I should not tell you how to feel or call you a traitor, I know how you felt about Squall.
Rinoa: Irvine, do you think we are wrong for what we are doing?
Irvine: I don't know Rinoa, all I know is when we are together it's easier, and I need it to be easier, because right now it's almost too hard to handle.
Rinoa: I know exactly what you mean, I just wish we could make since of what we were doing in some way.
Irvine: I do too, but for now I guess all we can do is go along with it and what happens is what happens, because both of our hearts are too broken to make since of anything right now, especially something like this that makes no since at all.
Rinoa: Your right, I guess we don't really have much more of a choice other then not continue with this and like you said we both need things to be some what easier right now.
With that they hugged each other, then Rinoa invited Irvine in and shut the door behind them leaving behind their grief for the night, as best they could.