*Author's Note: Read and review, but please be gentle! This is supposed to be all the things you thought about Voyager, all the things that the crew must have thought...but all through the eyes of the acerbic, acidic, and sarcastic Mortimer Harren. Remember him? He was in the episode Good Shepherd with Tal Celes and Billy Telfer! Enjoy! :) *
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Personal log, Crewman Mortimer Harren, stardate 52537.3
The idiot Chakotay has decided we must all write daily personal logs from now on. Apparently he's going to check that we actually have inputted data for the day into our log. He says he wants at least 10 quads data daily after seeing that I have inputted two quads into mine in the past six months. Does this man have nothing better to do? Is this the only thing he can spend his time doing? He IS the Commander. Find something to command! True, we call him the Captain's lap dog, and I've even heard him called the Blob on the Bridge a few times...
Then again, there is that childlike innocence about him (or so I'm told, I try to stay away from the bridge). It must come from having intellect equivalent to a small child. I mean, what can you say that's complimentary about a man who got his position because the Captain thought he was hot? Not that she thinks it anymore. The man with the magically morphing hair has lost favour with her apparently. She probably realized there was a stripe of white down his hair and thought, oh no, I've made Peppy Le Pew my first officer! The fact that his sonic shower broke for a week didn't help with the skunk smell connotations, either. It was all amusing, though, in a distant and unintellectual way. Especially considering that man's been laid less than even I have since we arrived in the DQ. Even the Captain doesn't want him! There's no way Peppy's EVER going to get a chick on this ship! That, for some reason, makes this log far easier to write...
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*I hope to add one more log a day til it's done! All righty? All right! R&R, comments always appreciated...