The Princess and The Jerk
In the land of South Park, there were two kingdoms. One kingdom was ruled by King Big Gay Al and his daughter and son, Princess Lorry and Prince DeBuis. The other kingdom was ruled by Queen Liane and her son, Prince Eric. In Queen Liane's kingdom, there would always be eligible princesses lined up to meet her son. Prince Eric made a vow that he would never wed until he found a woman who could stand his unchangeable personality. So far, no princess met this standard. When King Big Gay Al heard of this proclamation, he decided to meet with Queen Liane and discuss betrothing their children. For his daughter had made a vow to never wed until she found a man who could fall in love with her, not her beauty.
"So, Princess Lorry won't even see a suitor until he passes a test?" Queen Liane asked. King Big Gay Al nodded. "I'm afraid she's a very stubborn child. The test is basically a personality test." he said to her. Liane nodded. "I've tried to talk her out of this, but she won't listen to reason." Al sighed. "My little Eric is the same way. So head-strong and independent. Sometimes, I doubt he'll ever take a bride." Liane shook her head at the thought. "Because of his attitude?" Al asked. She shook her head. "Because of his personality. He has a perfectly normal attitude... towards most things." she hesitated.
Meanwhile, Prince Eric was busy torturing his adviser, Kyle. "Your highness, maybe you should be more careful with how you talk to princesses." he advised. Eric paced back and forth. "That would require me to change my personality, which-"
"Which is against the vow, I know. I know..." Kyle interrupted, annoyed. Eric smiled. "Are you getting agitated, adviser?" he teased. Kyle shook his head violently. "Mother said she was setting me up with some princess in the next kingdom over. Do you know anything of her?" Eric asked. Kyle was about to answer, but then, the town mystery man, Kenny, walked in. "Ah! Kenny! Just the man I need." Eric said when he saw him. "You needed info on Princess Lorry? Here's her picture." Kenny said, handing him a portrait. The woman in the picture had light brown skin, jet black hair, and kind brown eyes. But, her beauty alone wasn't enough for Eric. "Do you know anything about her personality?" Eric asked, putting the portrait in his pocket. Kenny snapped his fingers. Before the three boys was a big crystal ball. "Look for yourself." Kenny said to them. Eric and Kyle leaned closer to the ball and saw an image inside. It was Princess Lorry in her garden, admiring the birds.
"Lucky things." she said. "They don't look at outward appearances. They find love based on what's on the inside." a bird flew over to her and chirped. She started to sing with it. "I wonder... I wonder... I wonder why each little bird has a someone... To sing to... Sweet things to... A gay little lark melody. I wonder... I wonder... If my heart keeps singing, will my song go winging... To someone... who'll find me... and bring back a love song to me?" She finished singing just as a young man, a few years older than she, walked up. "Still talking to the birds, little sister?" he teased. Princess Lorry smiled at him and patted the seat next to her. "DeBuis... I'll never find my prince, will I?" she asked. Debuis shook his head. "Of course, you will. He's out there... somewhere." he sighed. Lorry looked up at the sky. "Do you remember what Grandmother would always say?" she asked. DeBuis nodded. "'There's a lid for every pot?'" she nodded. "Maybe, my lid is just lost... But, I find it. I've just gotta look harder!" she said, standing up. Prince DeBuis chuckled. "You never were one to give up easily." he said.
Kenny snapped his fingers again, and the crystal ball vanished. "That enough for ya?" he asked. Eric was still entranced by the princess's beautiful voice. Kyle waved his hand in front of Eric's half-lidded eyes. No result. Kyle shrugged his shoulders. "Let's hope she likes him as much as he does her." he said to Kenny, who nodded in agreement.
"I Wonder" from Sleeping Beauty. Thought it fit at that moment.