It was that time of month for River. She lay on her cot at Stormcage trying to get to sleep and ignoring the pain she had inside her. She just wanted to be alone and hopefully fall asleep. She was just about to drift off into a deep sleep when she heard the familiar groan of the TARDIS outside her cell. She sat up with a groan and flung the covers off her and onto the floor. She made her way over to the bars of her cell where she was greeted by the smiling face of her husband.
"Hello Sweetie" she managed to say, smiling at the Doctor.
"Hello River." He replied before pulling his sonic screwdriver out of his pocket and opening the cell.
River walked around the cell and stood facing the Doctor. She smiled up at him and watched his eyes flit up and down her body. She looked down at herself. Great. She was wearing the most unattractive nightdress she had then she didn't ruin any of her nice one's. It was quite baggy and didn't show off her curvy figure at all. Her hair was scraped back into a tight ponytail and she wore no make-up. In her opinion she looked terrible.
"River, oh River." The Doctor began, "You look beautiful."
River rolled her eyes. He was just trying to be nice.
"I look terrible sweetie, look at me. I know you're trying to flatter me but I'm not in the mood."
"No River, I wasn't lying. I know you're not wearing any make-up, but with a face like yours, you don't need to. To me, you're beautiful no matter what your hair is like or what you're wearing. You're my perfect wife."
And with that, he held River's face and pressed his lips against her's. They kissed slowly and it was a kiss filled with passion and love. Whenever they kissed each other, nothing else in the world mattered, they had everything they needed in the universe right in front of them.
They broke away and the pair stared lovingly into each other's eyes. The Doctor grabbed River's hand and whispered, "Come on, let's get out of here." He dragged River over to the TARDIS and unlocked the door with a click of his fingers. He glanced over at River with a smug look and she smiled back at him before pushing him inside and closing the TARDIS doors.
The Doctor ran up to the console, sent the TARDIS into flight and then leapt onto the seat next to the railing. River walked up to the console, turned on the blue stabilisers and then leant back.
"So sweetie, where we off to?"
"Well I thought we could just spend some time in the TARDIS, I hardly ever get to spend time alone with my gorgeous wife."
River smiled and said, "I never thought I'd hear that from you Doctor, are you sure you won't get bored?"
The Doctor sat up and walked over to his wife and held her waist.
"With you here River? I'm sure I'll find something to do."
He kissed her again and the kiss started off slow and passionate but quickly picked up speed as the Doctor pushed his tongue into River's mouth. Both tongues duelled, trying to get closer than was physically possible. River wrapped her arms around the Doctor's neck as he tightened the grip he had on her waist.
Eventually, the kiss ended leaving the Doctor and River both gasping for air.
Licking his lips the Doctor said, "Um, that was good."
"Yes sweetie, I knew you'd like it."
"Oh River, you know me well."
"Yes I do."
The Doctor grabbed River's hand and whisked her around the console, heading towards the stairs.
"Where you taking me sweetie?" River questioned.
"River Song, my perfect wife. I have missed you so much and so there is only one place I would even consider taking you now."
"Which is?"
"To the bedroom!" he exclaimed as his face lit up like a child walking into a sweet shop.
River would have normally been thrilled about going to bed with the Doctor but not this time. She wouldn't enjoy anything at this time in the month. She'd just have to explain to him that she didn't want to do that sort of thing tonight. She was sure he would understand.
The Doctor was about to bound up the TARDIS stairs when River let go of his hand.
He whirled around to see River shaking her head. The Doctor was confused. River was usually the one to take him to the bedroom, not the other way around. He thought that he had impressed her.
"Hey what's up?" he asked her.
River looked down and then reached out for the Doctor's hand.
"I need to tell you something sweetie."
The Doctor was speechless. What was wrong with her? She had declined going to the bedroom with him and he never thought that he'd see the day. Did she still love him? Was she going to tell him that she didn't want to be married anymore? She had kissed him but was that all just a lie? He was in love with River, nobody made him feel the way she did. The way she would pop out of nowhere and say "Hello Sweetie", all the spoilers and mystery, and he couldn't lose her. The Doctor was nervous now. More nervous than he had ever been. He tried not to show it, but it obviously didn't work.
"Oh Doctor, don't look so worried, it's nothing like that!" River laughed and led him around the console back to the chair.
The Doctor sat down and pulled River on top of him, putting her head on his chest, pulling the bobble out of her hair and stroking it.
They sat there in silence for a few minutes; River lying on top of the Doctor whilst he had a protective arm around her and his other hand was stroking her golden curls.
The Doctor broke the silence.
"So River, this is the quietest I've ever heard you, are you alright?"
"I'm fine Doctor, this is all natural."
"Natural? River Song, you have just turned down the offer to shag me, please don't tell me that is natural!"
"Oh you!" River laughed, slapping the Doctor's thigh.
"Okay then, so tell me what's 'natural' then." The Doctor spoke, trying to get information out of his wife.
"Oh Doctor, I hoped you'd have worked it out by now! Guess I'll just have to tell you."
"Yes, enlighten me." The Doctor chuckled.
"Well you see sweetie, the reason I don't want to have sex with you right now is because it's that time of month for me. You know what I'm saying?"
Frowning, the Doctor said, "Er, yes..."
River laughed at looked up into the Doctor's eyes.
"Oh Doctor, you adorable idiot! You have no idea what I'm talking about do you?"
"Well it's bloody hard to understand as you're speaking in some sort of code!"
"Sweetie, you do make me laugh, but you're so oblivious at times! It's that time of month for me, you know?"
"Well yes, naturally. I do like this time of month too. It's very...relaxing."
"Oh FOR FUCK'S SAKE Doctor!" Do you know nothing about women?" By this time, River had sat up on the chair and was now facing the Doctor. "Didn't your first wife tell you anything? Weren't there a few days per month where she told you that you couldn't do it?"
The Doctor looked down nervously.
"Well-we-er-we didn't do 'it' at all really. Only about once a week at the very most. And I know you're annoyed with me River, but I have no idea what you are talking about."
River gazed into her husband's eyes and felt a bit sorry for him. She didn't mean to swear at him. But she was delighted to discover that the Doctor and his first wife didn't have sex that often. That meant that he almost defiantly preferred her over his old wife. And that just made her party internally.
"I'm sorry for shouting at you sweetie. But you know, for the man who is the stuff of legend and all that, you really have no concept of a woman's biology."
"Hey! I do have a concept of women's biology!" the Doctor replied. River raised an eyebrow at him. "Well I have a concept of your biology, River. I know about your body and stuff."
"Doctor," River began, "Shut up before you embarrass yourself even more. You generally don't have a clue what I'm talking about do you? I was trying to put it the nice way but as you seem so oblivious to everything I'm just going to have to tell you straight."
"Uh..." the Doctor spoke, shifting his eyes away from River's.
But River held his chin and lifted his head up until he was gazing straight into her green eyes.
"Are you comfortable there River?" the Doctor questioned.
River looked down. She was sitting on top of her husband very awkwardly; her knees were digging into his thighs and her feet were pressing quite hard into his shins.
"Well I'm perfectly fine, but if you're not then-"
"No no I'm fine," the Doctor quickly lied.
River knew he was lying of course. She always knew when he was lying. He had that certain look in his eyes and he always fidgeted with his hands. She decided to make him tell the truth by digging her knees even harder into his legs and making the Doctor very uncomfortable.
After a few moments, the Doctor could take it no longer.
"Ah River, ouch, you have to get off me please, argh you're squishing me!" the Doctor complained loudly.
River chuckled and obeyed her husband. She stood up above him and looked down into his hazel-green eyes before he dragged her back down on top of him and rested his chin on her chest.
"Now that's comfortable," he spoke smugly.
"You bet it is," she replied.
The pair sat there in silence again for another few minutes, enjoying the warmth and comfort of each other. When they were together, nothing in the whole world could break them up. Even if a whole Cyber Legion broke through the doors, neither of them would let go of each other. The Doctor wrapped his strong arms around River protectively and River pushed her head back into the Doctor's chest. He leant his head down and smelt her hair before kissing the top of her head lightly.
Eventually, the Doctor broke the silence.
"So, you have some explaining to do River."
"Yes about that," River replied.
"You happy here?" the Doctor asked her whilst brushing a stray strand of hair out of her eyes.
"Extremely."
"So, lead on."
River laughed before starting her story.
"Well Doctor, you've made love to me before yes?" River questioned with a tad of playfulness in her voice.
"Uh...yeah," the Doctor replied, slightly confused about what River was implying.
"And you know where you... lets say, enter me?" she pushed almost laughing.
"Well, yes, erm naturally," the Doctor said, feeling his cheeks flush, "Your vagina," he whispered which made River laugh out loud.
"There's no one else here sweetie, you don't have to whisper!"
"Yes, but the-there, well it's embarrassing!" the Doctor stammered.
"You love it really," River shot back.
"I do."
"Oh stop it!" she exclaimed.
"Make me."
"Maybe I will!"
"I'd like to see you try!" the Doctor laughed.
"Well anyway Doctor, every month for about 5 days a woman bleeds. I'm not going to get into all the details about it, that's all you need to know for now."
"Bleeds?" the Doctor asked, "From where?"
River sighed loudly until the Doctor understood.
"Oh. From there? River, YOU BLEED OUT OF YOUR VAGINA?"
"Sssh honey, no need to shout."
"You said there was no one else here!"
"You still don't need to shout quite so loudly." River replied.
"But-but that's disgusting!" the Doctor said, shuddering.
"It's natural sweetie, I get used to it. I'm really surprised about how you didn't know this before, I mean you're over 900 years old and you've had about 30 female companions, you are just so oblivious!" River exclaimed.
"Wh-what, wait you mean to say all my female companions might have been bleeding when they were with me?!" The Doctor screeched and then scrunched up his eyes trying to get the image out of his head.
Sighing again, River said: "Yes sweetie, but it's fine, honestly."
The Doctor obviously still didn't think it was 'fine'.
"So-so Amy?" he asked and River gave a little nod, "And Rose? Rose would have told me though, Rose told me everything..." The Doctor trailed off, heading into his own train of thought.
River gently stroked up and down the Doctor's thigh. Clearly he hadn't taken this news as well as she had expected.
"Sweetie, it's ok. None of your companions would have told you. It's not some sort of massive secret they have to tell you, it's natural and happens to all women. I guess they assumed you would already know about it. I never told you before tonight because I've never needed to before. Even I assumed you already knew about it." River told him.
"So what are we going to do all night with you like that?" the Doctor asked, disappointed that a good night of sex had been ruined.
River sat up from the Doctor and whirled around to face him. She made a grab for his pants and quickly unbuttoned them and zipped down the fly before dragging them down.
"Oh Doctor," River laughed, "Just because you can't get your dick inside of my vagina, doesn't you can't get it inside my mouth!"
Another chapter soon!
And trust me, I will still be writing River/11 fanfics even when Peter is the Doctor because you know. Just no.
REVIEW PLEASE!