Title: The Captain
Disclaimer: If I owned NCIS, there would have been MANY things done differently. Sadly, I don't own Ziva.
Rating: Ahh, nothing major, light T, I believe.
A/N: So, Who besides me felt in need of closure after the heartbreak that was "Shabbat Shalom"? That was such a sad, SAD, episode. Seeing the promo of "Shiva", things are going to get much more interesting, and it's just MID-SEASON! Ah. Anyway, this is my first fanfic, and It is going to be about Ziva, her thoughts and feelings, after the death of her father. A One-shot Song-fic, actually, unless I feel the need to continue. I Love feedbacks! So please R&R!
The Captain
The earth like stood still, when Ziva ran back into the house, her heartbeat fast and fearful. Her glance crossed Tony's, seeing nothing but empathy and sorrow in his eyes.
His expression admitted what she, herself, refused to believe, "No…" she whispered in protest, turning to her left. There, in the dark corner, her father's body lay, like an old rug after years of good use. Eli David's lifeless body sat there, half leaning on the wall, half on the floor. In his death, like in life, he stayed in the dark shadow, unnoticed.
Ziva felt an explosion inside, her face twisted in shock and anguish, when seeing her father's form on the wooden floor. "Abba!" a dreadful scream followed, when she kneeled on the floor next to him, taking him into her arms, "Abba…" she burst out crying, holding him close to her chest, weeping pitifully. Any previous anger disappeared as if never being there, replaced by loss, despair, and unbearable pain.
She didn't notice Gibbs and McGee entering the house, or Tony silently asking "Who did this?" her world shrunk to the feeling of shock and grief, and she found herself praying to the creator, whose glance upon her was so rare, "…Among the righteous" she mumbled in tears, rocking his body back and forth, like singing a lullaby to a precious child, as if a miracle might happen, and he'll open his eyes and talk to her, "May God have mercy on you, oh, Abba!" her silent prayer filling the darkness, as her team left the room.
Difficult hours and days will follow Ziva David; Both her father's death to deal with, and the pain of Mrs. Vance demise. Ziva will have to answer many questions, not just to the investigation team, and not just to herself, for how she could ever look at the mirror again, knowing her father died thinking she hated him, refusing to accept or forgive him, again, turning her back on him, and on herself in the meantime?
No, she never hated him. He was her father, all mighty and powerful, nothing was out of his reach, or so she used to believe as a small child. No, not only to herself she would have respond to, but to her people as well. She won't be the only one looking for retribution, surely others will wish for that, as well. While she lost a father, the last piece of her blood-family, there were many Jewish families in Israel which depended upon the justice, the twisted one at times, but justice nonetheless, of her father as a person, and The Mossad as a whole. But they could never understand the misery and wrath she was feeling at the moment, and the passing hours.
O captain! my captain!
Our fearful trip is done
The ship has weathered every rack
The prize we sought is won
The port is near
The bells I hear
The people all exulting
While follow eyes the stead keel
The vessel grim and daring
She will hold onto her father's corpse for long minutes, until finally, he'll be taken out of her arms, before she will have the chance to complete the prayer of "El Male Rachamim", one last time. The team will look after her, so she won't have to go through the 'Siv'aa' alone, and she will try explaining she was fine, even though they will all know it's far from being the truth. The anger will boil in her veins, her heart will demand vengeance, call for a punishment for this unforgivable crime, her soul will cry out to bring justice for the team, and although Gibbs will try and block her out, she will insist on taking part in this mission for justice. She will accept the anger; embrace it, because anger could always keep her focused. The most important thing was to stay focused on the mission, number one rule of being a good Mossad assassin.
She knew it was a matter of hours, if not less, until all of Israel will stand on its feet. Nosey journalists will pounce on the story like starved eagles on a helpless prey; investigators will try and find who is trying to ignite the area again, just weeks after Israel finished an operation which cost innocent people their lives. Justice, like time, is elusive. That's why she had to act quickly.
When asking her what she needs, Ziva will simply answer "Revenge". And like always, he will be there, by her side, because the anger she felt inside was right there, mirrored in his eyes, as well. The same dangerous spark, he also felt that whatever needed to be done HAS to be done, in order to find the guilty ones of the brutal killing in the Shabbat evening.
And Ziva will go with the team, looking for vengeance. For herself, and for director Vance's family, who lost a mother and a loving wife. Her father's image will come up to haunt her, but she will ignore it during the mission. She MUST stay focused.
Only after making sure justice was served, she will allow herself to feel. Also she couldn't even describe herself what she was feeling. The emptiness could not be described. A fresh, burning memory, of her hands being covered with her father's blood, he himself lying on the floor, his eyes haunted, half open-
But O heart! heart! heart of mine!
Oh, the bleeding drops of red!
Where on the deck my captain lies
Fallen cold and dead!
She will testify in the upcoming hours. They will ask the same useless questions, she will repeat the same answers. She will be looked at with suspicion, carefulness, pity, at times; but no emotion will be conveyed from the Israeli agent. And what for? Feelings do no good, here. Will they wake up her father? Will they bring back Mrs. Vance to her grieving family?
"What were you doing in the house"? They asked, again.
"Having a Shabbat dinner," she'll answer simply.
"No security"?
"That will be correct".
"And then what happened"?
Her gaze will turn to her lap, playing quietly with her fingernails, "My father wanted us to have a Shabbat dinner, like we used to; Wanted to find redemption, said now it is finally time…"
"No one in the Israeli security offices knew he was here"?
"I've already told you 'No', why you keep asking me that"?
"I'm just doing my job, Agent David".
Tongue clucking. Shoulder shrugging.
Indifference.
Her glance will move to the tiny TV-screen on the other side of the room. An Israeli channel. The news has arrived, of course. The reporters looked agitated. An attempt to listen. "Prime minister in an emergency meeting", "A war declaration", "A severe political crisis".
O captain! My father! Hear the bells
For you the flag is flung
For you the bugle trills!
For you bouquets and ribbon wreaths
For you the shores a-crowding
For you they call, the swaying mass
Their eager faces turning
"Ms. David"? Her eyes turned back to the snotty agent.
What was he, again? NCIS? FBI? CIA? The Mossad? She couldn't recall.
Whoever he was, he didn't seem highly intelligent.
"I didn't listen to what he had to say. Didn't want to. I didn't believe him. I left the dinner table. Called Gibbs".
"And what did you guys talk about"?
"I told him about Tyler Wilkes. That was when I heard the shootings".
"What did you do"?
"Ran after the shooter. Gibbs came. We tried to get information out of him, but he took his own life. We came back to house".
"And what did you find there"?
"My father," for the first time she really looked at him, the ice in her eyes sent a cold shiver down his spine, "Dead."
O captain! Dear father!
My arm beneath your head
It is some dream that on the deck
You've fallen cold and dead?
"I sat by his side until they came to take the body", again, she turned to check her nails; "from there they passed him to Chevra Kaddisha".
The snotty one seemed to be deep in thoughts. Probably asking himself if he should ask more questions. More open wounds to put salt on.
Stupid fool.
My captain does not answer!
His lips are pale and still…
He won't feel my aching arms
He has no pulse nor will
Finally, after long hours and endless questions, he left. She found herself alone again, solitude blinds her; that until she comes back to the only family left for her. Demanding revenge.
And revenge was finally achieved. Thanks to the president's involvement, a great crisis is prevented, one which could have been the cause of war between Israel and Iran. By her wish, Eli David's funeral is done in privacy, before flying his body back home, and burying him in Jerusalem, like he wished.
The ceremony in Israel will be done in-front of thousands; he will be put to rest like a son of royalty.
It couldn't have been done in any other way.
And after all that, finding the culprits, her anger will pass eventually. She will stay at Tony's place for a few days, and surprisingly (or not) he will treat her as if she was a fragile object which requires a very gentle care. Although saying nothing out in the open, she will be very grateful for his loving care; for being there for her, holding her, embracing her pain.
Gibbs, a man she saw always as a loving father, for long years, will treat her as a daughter and be more loving than before. This pain will make her stronger, and Gibbs will always stay, to help her.
Vance will leave his job. The loss of his wife will hit him hard, and he will stay a full-time-father for his children. He won't look for the guilty ones. So much tenderness and love he had for his children, he would fully give himself to them. Ziva felt jealous of him. He has a family left to embrace and to hold in time of grief. She didn't have that luxury.
The pain, indeed, will make her stronger, but it will always be there. Days will pass, spring will come again, with it a new season of blossom, but that open wound will always stay with her. She just hoped that wherever he was now, he knows how much she loved him. How much the little girl inside of her, the one whose giggles were heard in the backyard when she played tag with Ari and Tali, how much that small girl misses her daddy, the hero, all powerful, strong father. And how much that girl is now part of the same people who found themselves suddenly as a flock without shepherd.
The ship is anchored safe and sound...
Its voyage closed and done
From fearful trip the victor ship
Comes in with object won
The wind will stroke her face on a sunny spring day. Ziva will be reminded that even when family loss, she still has one- her team. She IS Ziva David. Next to her table, McGee and Tony will reopen the "surprise box" (Oh, how long has it been since she last seen it?) And will find the last adventures inside. She will find herself smiling.
On her table, next to the tiny flag her father gave her, there, his framed picture is, too. She will look at it sometimes, in a bitter-sweet memory. As expected, she will accept what happened, even if it takes some time. That night will come back in dreams, no longer in nightmares, but an event which helped her develop herself more in the process.
Exult, O abores! And ring, O bells!
But I, with painful tread,
Walk the spot my father lies
My captain, cold and dead
Tony will turn around, and his lips will turn in a light, playful smile. One meant only for her.
Rule Nu#12 has been broken some time ago. Gibbs was not too happy about it, but as long as they could stay professional, he was willing to cut them some slack. Ziva felt happy about the direction in which her life turned, lately. She was truly happy.
She will be reminded of her father's words, when seeing the picture of her, in a colorful shirt, and pillow-pregnant belly, the undercover mission. "This is what retirement should look like", he said. With a new smile, her hand will find its way to her still flat stomach, to the secret Tony himself doesn't even know yet. Her glance will turn again to Tony and McGee, who've found a new subject to argue about. Until Gibbs will show up, calling them to grab their gear.
O captain! my captain!
Our fearful trip is done
The ship has weathered every rack
The prize we sought is won