D i s c l a i m e r : Do not own, or else I wouldn't need to indulge myself in fanfic writing.
W a r n i n g : Yaoi applies! Naru x Sasu. Don't like, don't read.
Konoha was a shinobi village. Shinobi was what most young villagers wanted to be. Eventually, those young villagers were forced to see that the job was not what it cracked up to be.
A shinobi must read underneath the underneath. A shinobi must plain a head; if the enemy predicted 100 steps ahead, then they shall be clairvoyant enough to plain 101 steps ahead. These thoughts were planted inside the children's heart when they first entered the real world of the ninjas.
They learnt stealth for the sake of dreams.
Generally, even in the real world, the path to achieve those dreams is often cruel. There are things to step over, sceneries to pass by and cross roads to be chosen.
To bring to you the perfect example, here's an epitome of adolescent stress in the times of Uzumaki Naruto and Uchiha Sasuke.
He didn't know what to think. No, no clue at all. One could almost feel the frustration radiating off the blonde teen. It wasn't as if he, himself, was not radiant enough with the orange battle costume and all.
Uzumaki Naruto cast a wary glance at the navy clad figure under the sakura tree.
It was somewhere in April; the cherry-blossom trees around Konoha were at their full bloom. The soft pink petals were scattered around by the hand of spring breeze; the air was balmy.
The object of him attention was strangely out of place with his navy outfit contrasting so strongly with the surrounding. But he didn't look a single bit inapt. Hell no, far from it.
He didn't know whether it was right to think that his so called 'arch-rival' looked beautiful against the gentle hue. Nor did he know if it was right to notice the fact that the light shadows across his face eased away some of its rigidness. Heck, he didn't even know if it was normal for him to stare at another GUY (of all being, Sasuke) like that.
The members of Team 7 were, as usual, waiting for their so-ever punctual sensei to show up to their routine training. Since their instructor was forever 'getting lost on the road of life', it left this period of time (usually consisting out of 2 to 3 hours) free for all three of these young souls to ponder on life's mysteries. This time, the kitsune did not waste his time on being his typical loud self; instead, he decided to take the time to think.
He was reminded by the humming in his brain on why he never liked philosophy or anything pertinent to the word. Why do people even think? All it did was left me more confused than when I started. He grimaced mentally.
Naruto wasn't indecisive (or in denial) about his feelings towards a certain Uchiha like some clueless morons; he was too experienced for that. When he liked or had strong feelings for someone, that 'someone' was added onto his 'people-who-are-precious list'. He knew Sasuke was on the list; he was on it ever since the Wave Country incident. What he couldn't decide was whether the feeling was a friendship close to love; or a love that was close to friendship, or more importantly, if he should even consider it. All he knew was that one day, he held Sasuke in great respect and they, in some strange ways, developed friendship, but the next thing he knew, it was all about Sasuke acknowledging him, and he knew he wouldn't be able to stand it if he looses him.
He scratched his head, tired from all those scrutinizing. Wondering where Kakashi was when you needed him.
Suddenly, all three of them snapped back from their own reveries and tuned their attention at the new yet familiar source of chakra.
"Hey guys, today, I..."
"Save it," Sasuke leaned forward to detach himself from the tree he was resting against, while Sakura shook her head, looking passive.
"Yeah, let's just move on and stick to the programme," Naruto squinted his eyes, placing both of his hands behind his head.
Kakashi's single hand of greetings slumped back to his sides. His just-out-of-bed eye scanned the students. It was surprising how far they had come; they were no longer rookie gennins whom yelled and act like a bunch of 12-year-olds trapped with the mental capacity of some pre-schoolers.
Both boys physique, though still gangly, were far more developed than the awkwardness of scarcity-of–muscles- trying-to-stretch–across- matchstick they had a few year back. Naruto leaned towards the more compacted side while Sasuke fell into the slim and graceful category. And Sakura...well, let's just say she was able to surprise you just when you started thinking that she was going to get stuck with chest as flat as a plane for the rest of her life.
Kakashi didn't know when they broke out of the habit of yelling and accusing him for his lateness. It was quite a shame, although he knew by doing that, they were on the doorstep of adulthood and a step closer to their dreams.
With a sigh, the jounin flicked his hand, gesturing for them to follow him. The three did so without much complaint. With a few leaps, the clearing was left behind by the four shinobis.
The sakura petals swirled, swirled, swirled...
Team 7 stood before their instructor, waiting to do their daily training. 'The same as yesterday' was all they got from Kakashi before he settled himself under a nice shade of trees and took out his infamous Icha Icha Paradise.
Naruto looked like he was about to protest when Sasuke dragged him away to a glade to start their sparring techniques.
Some things never change.
Kakashi noted with a smile.
Sakura plopped down under a tree not too far from his as she did yesterday. She took a fleeting look at him, skepticism evident in her eyes. She received a happy curve of eye from her instructor, reassuring her that she did exactly what he wanted her to do.
Both boys were puffing. They were merely ten minutes into the fight yet, they were already tired. Come to think of it, 'yet' is not an appropriate word, as the two chuunins knew all too well about the other's strength and weaknesses. They kept each other on the edge for the whole time; getting the best from each other.
Sasuke brought up his forearm to wipe away the sweat that was riverine down his jaws before snapping his attention back to the blonde before him.
The air was still. Huffs of breaths were audible. Intense stares sparked in the air. Eyes levelled. Fist clenched and unclenched. Muscles tensed. Heartbeat pounded in their ears. Their breathing slowed. Shoulders dropped. Eyes hardened. Leg muscles contracted.
They exploded towards each other, doomed to collide; fist raised, wasn't at all intimidated about what was about to happen. The plantations around the vicinity were quivering and unsettled by the amount of chakra the two were releasing. A whirlwind of energy twirled around their frames, ripping at the grass at their feet when all of a sudden...
Naruto stopped.
Yes, stopped. Halted, froze, whatever you like to call it.
But he just stopped.
Sasuke managed to alter the course of his punch at the last milli-second, just enough to graze the tips of Naruto's hair. He shot him with eyes that could kill as he traced back the pair of grooves engraved in the ground when he tried to cut short his offence.
"What the hell were you thinking?" He shoved his fury right into Naruto's face. "Are you really that aching to die?"
The person on the receiving end of such anger seemed to be immune to it, or that he was plainly too dim-witted to realise. He threw his hands up in defence as he laughed "Chill man! I knew you woulda stopped. It's a sign of trust, see?"
The other's eyes widened at such reckless comment which followed an equally reckless action. But the famous ice-cube swiftly composed himself: "Ftch, don't get use to it."
The energetic kitsune dropped onto the grass, hands supporting his upper body from behind, head rolled back before he realized that the other was eyeing him skeptically. He patted the empty space beside him, indicating him to sit down before closing his eyes. His lips curved when he heard the rustling sound of movement beside him. They sat there, side by side, feeling the gentle caress of the wind on the faces.
Meanwhile, Naruto was battling with his inner turmoil.
He wanted so badly to confirm his status in raven hair teen's heart; he wanted to know how important he was to him; he wanted to know if he would give up his title of the avenger for him.
Only if the answer was negative could there be a slight opportunity for their relationship to develop into something else.
He wanted to whack his head again the lovely hard tree trunk over there due to the frustration. Why couldn't he like Sakura? Better yet, why couldn't he like a girl? Life would have been so much easier that way.
He knew it sounded selfish, but the reason to why he made such an illogical statement back there was that he didn't want to 'tarnish' his reputation. You see, although Konoha was a village hidden somewhere in the modern world (they have TV and refrigerator and such), there fore, should be reasonably open-minded about queers, it was still inappropriate for the leader of a shinobi village to be so. In order to secure his destiny, he would not do anything that could harm his chances of achieving his dream.
There he was, being torn between the choices of telling him and risking hurting the person he was unwilling hurt the most and possible failure in his ambition to the choice of keeping silent and hope that he will grow out of this 'infatuation'.
Of course, since he was always a fan of optimism, he chose the first option.
Something was troubling him; he could tell. Though he had his eyes shut, Sasuke could almost see the aggravation searing through his silent companion's skin. It scared him that he could read his supposed 'rival' so well, and he wasn't naïve enough to reproach time for it. He felt like fidgeting, even when the mighty Uchihas didn't engage in such trivial activities.
Just like how the mighty Uchihas didn't like boys either.
He twitched at the thought but gave up on being persistent. He could not rewrite history, despite the fact that he would if he could. He despised caring for someone other than himself, he despised discharging his obligation, he despised letting someone getting in the way of his aim.
He hoped like hell the last one would not happen, unlike the two before it.
The avenger felt extremely alarmed when a small part of abhorrence in his heart disappeared. Not enough to melt the shadow of his childhood, but enough for him to trash his house never the less.
Come on, say something you moron! He screamed silently; sick of the wreckage of thoughts inside his head.
As if on cue--
"Ne...Sasuke."
Stuffed the optimism, he wondered if he was secretly a masochist as the words slurred from his mouth.
"I...um..."
Eternal black eyes locked with his.
"Spit it out, I don't have all day."
He cursed both his and Sasuke's tactlessness. Couldn't he tell he was trying every hard for his mouth to work? Some things never change.
"I..."
Well? Sasuke's hand gesture urged.
"Ilikeyou," string of words stumbled out of his clumsy tongue, but at least he said it.
Ok, when I said say something, I certainly didn't mean that! The genius shinobi gawped at the team mate before him. This is just great, what is he expecting? How did a simple spar turn out like this anyway?!
The anticipation in the blonde's eyes was almost too much for the collected boy, he forced out a sentence from his dry throat:
"What do you want me to say?" He gulped. "I really can't afford to have any distraction right now, and you know it," he reprimanded slightly.
"Neither can I, so I guess that makes the two of us,"
Sasuke's thoughts rampaged, eyes screaming with the question then why did you bother telling me, you bastard? As if he heard the question, Naruto rushed into another series of explanation. "I just didn't want any regrets in my life ya know?"
The words rang throughout his head; echoing until it was no more than a blur in the background. All thoughts died down.
Realization went crashing down on him:
They were both the same, with the same thought, the same intention.
They both wanted this, but neither one of them were willing to let this cost them their dreams.
Naruto will not let anyone else know about their soon to be relationship, and he will not hesitate to kill Naruto sequentially to kill his brother.
He shuddered.
The smirk came out crooked, "indeed."
Naruto took him into his arms, and winced when he felt a tingle of wetness in the nap of his neck where Sasuke rested his head. They clung onto each other as if they were their life line; desperate to fill the throbbing emptiness and despair in their hearts.
In the distance, under the sanctuary of the shade, a tint of silver hair blended in an unblended way. Kakashi glanced from the top of the long since neglected novel as the wind picked placid ripples through his mask.
In the distance, under the watchful gaze of dusk, a hue of pink melted into brilliant red and orange. Sakura slept under the tree, with the setting sun behind here. Her silhouette darkened as the golden coin clicked further into place beyond the horizon.
"...For the sake of dreams..."
A u r t h o r e s s ' s d r a b b l e :
I'm so sorry!!! (Bangs her head against the computer desk) that was really, really bad, I know! I had no idea what that was about. It's just...ARGH! By all means, I do not hate the identification of a shinobi. I think it'll rock to be one. It's just...my angst playing up; I pessimistically believed that everything needs a sacrifice, and most of the characters seemed to be stripped from their innocence because of their destiny.
I do not blame you if you don't understand the plot, or the moral of the story. I have only myself to blame.