This fic is written in doujinshi transcript format. If you've ever seen a Japanese manga, you'll probably be able to figure out what's going on. All italics are the character thoughts that appear in the frames unspeech-bubbled. The smaller font are the smaller thoughts, like thought footnotes. Dialogue would, in manga, appear speech-bubbled. *Asterisked items* are either katakana sound effects or flashbacks. *Asterisked text* are either katakana sound effects or flashbacks. I'm only guessing at the women's names [Rinko and Junko]. Iie means no. Okaa-san is mother, otou-san is father. *Sha* is meant to imitate the sound of a pencil scratching suddenly on paper, *cha* is the window opening, and *chu* is the sound for a kiss. [I'm only making do on the first two, though.]
Omoi
By Djinn
…Rinko…iie…Okaa-san…strange, I don't think about her
anymore, on those sleepless nights…I suppose Otou-san would approve if he knew
about it all. As
if I would ever tell him.
…Do you
approve? More to point, I suppose, do you approve of who I think about now? …I
suppose you wouldn't. Neither would Otou-san. What would you say, I wonder, if you
knew.
Would you
say anything at all?
"Eh, Nakamoto."
…Nakamoto.
Sometimes I envy Katou-kun. Iie, he's Yuusuke to you, isn't he? And to him,
you're Togo. …I wish I were Syo to you. But it's always the same. Arai-kun.
Nakamoto. We've
been roomates for years now. I have a name, you know.
"What now, Arai-kun?"
I wish I were as annoyed as I sound.
"…I'll be staying out late tonight, okay?"
*sha*
It hurts.
"That's none of my business."
"Just so you know."
You're
gone, just like that. I wonder if you even noticed. I wonder…
I hate that sempai of yours.
You probably don't even worry that I know…there's very
little I don't know about you, Arai-kun… But that's what we all like to think, isn't it? I
know when you go to meet him…I'm awake then…worrying…
Sometimes, I think I hate Shimura-kun, but we're really
in the same boat. Or
almost the same boat…at least he dares to confess his feelings… Neither
of us has a claim to you, do we? It's your sempai. Years later, it's still your
sempai. I've
known you for as long as he has…
What does it take, to make you want me like you want him?
*Oh…oh…Junko…oh…*
…You touched me…And I wanted you to go on…But you were
only making fun of me, weren't you?
…Arai-kun.
…I didn't mean to hit you, you were holding me, you
touched me…but you were only making fun of me.
I don't think about her anymore! I don't! I think about –
…I think about…
It's already so late. I give up.
Eh?
…Maybe…maybe I'll wait a little longer. It's a really hopeless cause.
You won't be coming back. I don't know why I'm doing
this. Or maybe I
just don't want to admit.
Are you with your sempai now? …Are you happy now?
…Tears? …I'm…crying?
…Why?
…Arai-kun…
…I feel so miserable…
*cha*
"Nakamoto?"
…Oh
dear…I can't
stop…
"Tch. Don't cry. What's wrong?"
"I thought…I thought you wouldn't…wouldn't be coming back…"
I'm
such a fool…
"…Is that it? …Silly thing."
…Why
are you…what are you…you're so gentle…why…?
"If it worries you so much, I won't ever come back so late again, okay? I promise. Don't cry. Come on, smile."
…Arai-kun…
"…Don't cry anymore…Here…"
*chu*
…!
You –
*No one, whether a man or a woman, would kiss a person he or she didn't like.*
…you…
"There. Don't cry anymore, okay? …Syo."
…What did you call me?
…Arai-kun…iie…Togo-kun…
"H-hai…Togo-kun…"
"That's better. Let's go to bed now, okay?"
"Hai…"
…I
love you.
END