Eulogy For A Dead Friendship

Author's Note: After hearing about the storylines of the latest Sonic game and the 'new' cast of characters, I was inspired to write this story. There are some little themes I've tried to hide in this story. I've also tried to throw in a cryptic ending, deciding a happy one would spoil the mood. It's up for you to interpret, however. It could go two different ways.

Edited version is up with you in mind! I'd still love some addition feedback, if you're willing. Please leave a review.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Sonic characters.

With time, comes change. As the minutes pass and multiply; as hours duplicate; as days disappear, nothing remains the same. There are meetings; friendships; and then finally departures. Paths of friends have their way of intertwining but when the time comes, they split back apart. The person walks away with simply a wave. The person grows out of you; much like a child grows out of a shirt or a pair of jeans. The person grows out of your personality; grows out of your house; grows out of your life. They walk away the first time and you never notice it happening.

Visits become less frequent. Stories about them are about them and other people; never about them and you; you and them. There are never careless walks on the boulevard; picnics under shady trees; never games of tag or hockey; never races to no destination. There are none, because what's left is coming to an end. It's over; you're over in their lives. They shed you away; they forget to call or write. You see their smile but it's not directed towards you. Image become blurs, names become indirect labels. It all piles up; piles up like a stack of paper screaming one thing: it's over…it's really over.

Sonic and I had a funny friendship. When I was little, he didn't associate with me much. We'd do silly guy stuff like play hockey. Sometimes he'd sneak me into places he knew I shouldn't be and we'd make it pass. My heart would beat so fast as we departed and returned; I'd be so scared something would happen and maybe I'd get caught. I guess the trait to call him then was a 'rebel'. He sure was one.

He wouldn't really spend much time with me. He'd be too busy boasting or eating. The rest of the time he'd be pestering my aunt. She'd pretend she wasn't amused in return, but deep down, we all knew she liked the attention. She'd tease him back in her defense; always say stuff on how he had no brain or he did only it wasn't functional. Because of this, he'd always do it more. It'd go on over and over again; actually, it never really stopped. Their friendship was built on it. They were never too serious with each other; but I guess I was glad they weren't and if they were, I never saw it. It'd probably scare me if they were…but I know they were.

I can't really remember much about those days; I can't really remember much about him then. I know they would go off on walks. They'd go on their missions still because we were in a war. My aunt was always the definition of serious. Sonic, however, was the definition of star. He outshined her and she knew it. She'd stay reserved about it; she'd lay on her strengths. I guess I had to admire her for that. A happy second place.

From the bottom of my heart, I really love my Aunt Sally. She's the reason I'm writing this now. She said to put my thoughts on paper. She said it'd help. I guess she's right. My heart's still a little sore; my eyes are still a little red, but I'm getting over it. She said I needed to get to the root of my problems. I needed to pull the roots out and the rest would come with it. She's right so far; but I remember the times she'd be wrong and how crushed she'd be over it. She had a great way of hiding it; a great way of hiding everything inside. She had this thing called 'perfect composure'. She had this thing called a 'straight face'. She had this thing called a slight frown; she had this thing called a slight smile. She had these things called emotions, but she was darn good at hiding them. She also had this wall.

And Sonic was the only person who ever knocked it down.

There was this time I was pretty sure I saw Aunt Sally crying. She was upset about her father; I guess she was upset about everything in general. She was crying, but she wasn't alone. Her head was buried and I would've never known that was what it was if I hadn't seen her entangled in the arms of Sonic; hair disheveled, eyes closed; a wreck. I asked him later about it and he said she was okay. He'd always lie to me then; to makes things better. Aunt Sally did too; they all did.

All to make me feel better.

But not even a lie could help now. One day; after one mission, the war finally ended. We all thought it did, anyway. Aunt Sally and Sonic kissed; there were cheers; there were celebrations. I think it was the happiest I had ever been; dancing and parading around, cheering the words 'freedom'. Freedom was bitter sweet, however, because shortly after, even after restoring that city and freeing the king, turmoil struck again. He was back, better than ever and Sonic was back in the action.

That was the end of that era of my life. I like to call it the dark ages, because I don't remember much about it. I remember the little things, like the nights my aunt would tuck me in and read me stories. I remember her kisses. I remember how I'd laugh whenever she gave them to me; tell her to stop. It was embarrassing for me to receive affection like that. No, it wasn't embarrassing! It was gross! It still sort of is. I'm not that much older now.

After Robotnik returned, Sonic went out to give him a good fight. There were a series of times; times when he'd attack bases; times when he'd collect these things called the Chaos Emeralds. I was just the scientist then, I guess. I had a workshop. I had some planes. I can't recall how I got so smart. I just liked reading. I did a lot of reading. I did a lot of mathematics. Someone told me I had a critical thinking mind, just like my aunt. I don't know how you can label a brain. My aunt's well-rounded. And me, I like to think I'm the same. I like to write too.

Anyhow, those were the times I met a lot of other people too. Aunt Sally, Bunnie Rabbot, Antoine D'Coolette; they were all characters from the past. Robotnik even dumped his old assistant, Mr. Snively. I guess I was a little upset too. Of all the villains I've met, Snively was always the funniest. He was my favorite.

During that time, I met a new set of characters; Knuckles Echidna; an obsessed girl fan of Sonic's named Amy Rose; a really scary, angst-ridden (I think that's how you phrase it) science experiment named Shadow (people mistook him for Sonic. I don't see how. They looked so different); a prim and proper little girl rabbit named Cream and her mother, Vanilla; a jewel-fixated, vixen bat named Rouge; and a team of renegades working for money, Team Chaotix.

These people really never held much of an effect on me. Sonic then was more bold though. He liked me; he liked me a lot. We'd go on all sorts of missions together! We'd always go in MY plane; always fight TOGETHER. It was so great! It was better than the Dark Ages by far, or at least I thought. There was something else though; there was always this empty gap.

You see, the time in between was always empty…there were never many visitors. Sonic had better things to do than associate with me. I was stuck in a workshop. I remember my aunt visited once and we were really talking. Sitting on the porch under a blanket of stars, she had stared at me with her eyes. They always had this way of sparkling when she was thinking. It was one of the things I liked best about her; the way she looked when she was using her mind.

"This workshop is amazing, Tails," her voice had begun in a near dazed tone. "The architecture; furnishings…it's all so…so marveling. Th-there's so much missing though, sweetie. How can you take living alone?"

I remember the morning after she had come. I remember how much I had thought about her question; the question I had never answered. My heart hurt and my eyes were red then too. I looked around my workshop that day, trying to find something special about it. There was nothing.

I looked everywhere; everywhere for a trace of good memories or something. There was nothing. She was right. She was right about everything missing. My workshop was lacking and she knew it just by glancing at it. How can there be character in a place I was stranded alone in? How can there be? How could there be? How can there be now?

A week later I packed my bags and moved back my first home, Knothole. Leaving my workshop was no tragedy for me. Actually, I was happy to leave it. I left a note on the door in case Sonic came, but he never did. He was too free-spirited for that.

During that time, there were so many adjectives that could describe my best friend. He was daring, bold, savvy, cool….he was always cool, anyway. He was audacious as Aunt Sally would put it. He was spontaneous; he was too good and cool for it all. And I guess by the word 'all', it meant me.

I never really had much of an emotional attachment, as some people call it, to any of the people I met then. I want to call it wasted times, but they weren't. I was really happy for a while. The Wasted Times had nothing on the Dark Ages though. Maybe I like being ignorant.

Or maybe I like being home.

When I came back, everyone threw a big party for me. It was my homecoming and for once I was the star. Sonic couldn't steal that spotlight. Sonic couldn't steal that smile. I was loved, I felt warm; my heart felt tingly. I was back with the people I loved most, my family.

There was always a gap though; the one he was. You see, I always wanted to be just like him. We never were too close, I guess, by physical terms. People say we were, but there was no dimension to our friendship. He just played buddy-buddy with me and now it hurts. I think he always saw me as a tyke or the little guy. I don't think; I'm pretty sure I know he did. My aunt would always deny it, Bunnie would too. They both would to make me feel better; just like they used to. It's sort of funny, how so many people lie to me. It's even funnier, how I always seem to know anyway. I guess it's funny in a sad way. Humor always helped stop the tears, I guess.

And I guess Sonic used humor to help him in his situation in the Dark Age. I think Sonic used humor in the Wasted Times too. I think he stills uses it now; in the unnamed third era of my soon-to-be-twelve (!)-year life. He's always joking in magazine interviews, anyway.

Sonic has new friends now. Sonic and Shadow, I guess they had more in common then I thought. They're partners now, I think. I guess I wasn't good enough to be part of that alliance; that or I leaved it. Amy, Cream, and Rouge are forgotten segments of their lives too, or at least I think they're becoming it. Sonic never cared for Amy. Sonic never really cared for anyone but himself.

There's a side to him though; a side I know that's still out there that loved so many people. The side that would've done anything for them; the side that was my big brother; the side I knew was gonna marry my aunt Sally; the side I knew would always be there to see Bunnie now that she's deroboticized; the side that'd still laugh at Antoine; the side that would still hang around Knothole and people like Rotor. But that side's in the wind somewhere; the wind he always caused by running. I think he ran it off. It's a shame too because I really miss it.

I know my aunt does too. I know my aunt does, because she loved him just as much as I did. Their dating sort of became forgotten but she's still waiting for him to come back. I am too. She's still waiting for her happy ending and his epiphany. I'm waiting for the latter but I don't think that's going to happen. We're not good enough for him anymore.

I read a recent interview; one rambling about Sonic's new adventures. My name wasn't mentioned once. He talked about his partners. He talked about the places he went to. He talked about himself. He never said a word on family. I read it and somehow I could tell his heart was hurting too. I can't think of what is any sadder; the fact he always runs from his problems. There's even a literal example in Amy. I'd laugh at it and find it sort of funny; the way he was running from love; but really, he was. He said she needed to let go of him. He said she was cool, but he didn't love her. I couldn't blame him. It was the Wasted Times and I remember we were sitting in a diner in the city. I wish I had asked him then if he was in love with anyone. I wish I had asked him then so I'd have something to tell to my Aunt Sally. But I forgot too and I hate myself for it.

I hate myself then, I don't hate myself now. I hate how selfish I was. I hate how I forgot the family that put me together but I'm glad I remembered too. I'm glad someone reminded me before it was too late. I have a new hero now and she's Princess Sally.

We went to the city a week ago, sitting down at a terrace outside a café. We were eating lunch, talking and from the table next to us, we heard ravenous chatter. We looked; we saw. Sonic the Hedgehog there; chomping down on chili dogs with new friends. Aunt Sally was the first to do something; she was to first to go and say 'hi'. I watched from the table, noticing Sonic turn towards her.

She smiled full-heartedly, expressed how long it had been. Sonic had put down his lunch, studying her. There was silence and a frown.

"I know 'ya, really, I do…aw, c'mon…I know I do…"

"Sally, Sonic. It's Sally…"

"SAL! Ohhh…wait, what?"

"We lived together, Sonic."

"I know we did! I know, I know! Man, it's been so long! You look gorgeous, Sal! I-uhh…what have you been doin' with yourself all this time?"

"Politics."

"Sounds way past, Sal…" There was some sarcasm.

"Oh, it's SO way past, Sonic…" The two smiled casually at each other. The other members at Sonic's table, they studied him with a quizzical and almost-disgusted glance. A girl coughed something to someone across their table. I didn't even know what it was, but I remember I was growling…or at least trying my hardest not to.

"Oh guys, this is Princess Sally; an old friend! Princess Sally, some of my new friends!" He was charismatic as always. His friends feigned a smile and Sally, being no fool, could see pass it. Me and my aunt, we both knew the smiles were fake.

"It's a pleasure…" Some confidence was cut out of her voice as she stared at each of them. Her glance trailed back to Sonic and her voice softened tremendously right after; to a whimsical whisper. Having privacy was impossible in a place like that, but she was trying. "You know, I never stopped waiting for you to come home, Sonic…" she softly begun, some of the pain she hid so well starting to surface. He eyed her, watching her own smile turn to a frown. "And you never did."

"Look, I'm sorry, Sal. You know what greets a hero, hee, you know, business, business!"

"And you know what greets a promise, Sonic Hedgehog. Obligations, obligations!" Her retort cut Sonic. The hedgehog straightened, his playful smile disappeared, and the members of his table stared at him and then back at each other; discomforted. And Princess Sally, my aunt who had given so many speeches to the general public; to strangers…she was looking discomforted too.

"I never promised." His voice finally came back, only to be shot down by Sally's once again.

"You promised, Sonic." She remained calm, but I could tell she was tearing on the inside. I don't know how I can do it; it was just something in her tone. It was firm, reminding…but there was no obvious feeling to it. She always used it when she was holding back; protecting her wall.

"I don't remember-"

"I do."

They were quiet, staring at each other. The other people at the table had been chatting casually among themselves, uneasy. I watched my aunt's eyes. They were the closest to breaking down that I've ever seen them. But she didn't.

"All this time, I've been waiting," she quietly begun, taking her left hand and twirling a ring on her finger. "And I wish I never did. You've changed, Sonic Hedgehog."

"Say what?"

"You know exactly what I mean and you know exactly what you promised to me." Pulling a ring off, she tossed it on the table "You're the biggest coward I've ever seen, Sonic. It's one thing to fail, but you won't even try to live up to your word." She turned and begun to walk away, and from the corner of my eye, I saw Sonic rush up in front of her. His and her last defense.

Having grabbed the ring off the table, he offered it back to her. "That's not true! I can change back, Sal! C'mon, we're gonna get married; the big sha-bang…just as soon as I get 'Buttnik the last time!"

"I want to believe that; I really do…" Turning to look at him, she wiped an eye. "There'll never be a last time though. You don't want this, Sonic. You don't have to lie to me."

"I'm not lyin'! I promised you, Sal! I don't let down on my word!"

"But you did. Good-bye, Sonic…"

"Please, Sal! Take it! Look, I'll come home! I'll come home now with you! I promise! More than promise!"

"SOOOONIC! A female voice shrilled from his table; the same one that had been coughing insults before. It was squealy; it was ugly. It was raspy and I hated it. I got up and walked towards them, tugging at my 'aunt'. She looked at me sadly and shook her head.

"I'll be back in a minute," he called back to the table; his new life, staring there and then back at Sally. "Please, Sal. You're the only constant thing in my life! I'll come back home after lunch and I'll stay!" There was passion in his voice; there was desperateness. It was a side to Sonic I had never seen before; the side I thought was lost. It was the one that actually had a heart.

In science, a constant is something that remains the same. In an experiment, a constant is the independent variable. It never changes. No matter what happened; no matter what the dependent variable does, it stands erect. It's unmoving; it's faithful; it's dependable. It's always there. When your life is like a roadmap, I guess you need one. I guess Sonic needed one; I guess I need one.

"Just say 'yes', Aunt Sally…" I had stated, watching her turn to me as if asking my opinion, and then back at Sonic. I'm not sure why I had said that; whether I was trying to prevent any further conflict or stares from that trouble; or whether I was trying to save her heart; whether I was trying to save my own heart. We both wanted him back. I had to say yes. Why would I advise my aunt to do something neither of them-neither of us wanted? It was just stupid. She placed her hand in his, gripping the ring.

"Fine. I'll be waiting."

He didn't come that night. He didn't come the night after that. I think ever since the Dark Ages it was the first time I saw my aunt cry. She almost tossed the ring in the Ring Pool; her own sanctuary during the war. I don't know what possessed her but she kept it anyway. She's still wearing it. Maybe it's all she's got left of the past. Maybe it's all she's got left for the future. Maybe it's the only insurance she has that he's coming back. Maybe it's the only insurance she has for her happiness.

I love my aunt more than anything. I love her more than the peaches that grew on the tree outside my workshop. They were so juicy; they were so sweet. They were my favorite part of summer. I love her more than the blueprints I made for my latest plane model; the blueprints I tossed. I love her more than the books I still read now. I love the escape they give me, but I love her more. I love her and it hurts me to see her that way. But she's still waiting…still waiting for something that'll probably never come. And I too cry because of it...

It's not like me to lose hope and thinking back to that café, it hurts that the hedgehog I idolize still now didn't even acknowledge me. Maybe I was a side piece to him; like the vase at the center of a dinner table; or the chandelier that hangs above a ballroom. Maybe, but you can never be too sure.

I'm hurting too now though. I don't think I ever stopped hurting, really, but I guess like Aunt Sally, I've gotten better at hiding it. We both build up walls together now. It's sort of funny too. Composure's a great thing to have in speeches, I heard though. At least I won't fail at that. Maybe I'll be the star. Maybe…

Sonic and me always had a funny friendship. I don't even know if I should've called it a friendship. There was never really any start, but there was an end. I didn't end it. It's still going on in my heart. Bunnie, me, Aunt Sally, Rotor, Antoine…even Dulcy the Dragon (though we barely see her), we still talk about him like he's still here. I bet they did it with me too. The fact I left my family is the thing I hate most about myself. But I'm back now, and maybe Sonic will be too. Maybe…you can never put too much assurance in anything but maybe.

So here I am now, writing to forget. It's stupid to forget though, because I never could. I still have good memories of the races and games of dirt hockey we used to play. I still have good memories of the adventures I went on with him. The Dark Ages are the ones that live in my heart though, I guess. Dark's a bad name for them. They were warmer than anything else…

I'd keep writing but I hear something going on outside. There's some chatter but I don't know what it's about. I think it's supposed to storm; maybe it's about that. It's already start now. There's a fierce breeze going on and I can hear it attacking my roof. It's funny; sometimes I hear his voice in the wind. I can't help but laugh now too, to clean up the tears, but there's too much irony to it. Outside, right at this moment, I swear I hear it now.