Summary: To be a successful detective, Akechi Goro believes, one needs a good case and a worthy rival. Luckily for the second coming of the Detective Prince, he has both. (Or does he?)
Note: The other day someone mentioned this kind of AU in the shuake server and I was reminded of how much I wanted to dabble in it.
Also, despite the summary, this isn't connected to P5A.
Warnings: Kinda Cracky, Kinda Feelsy (Only Teeny Tiny Bit Though), Kinda Fluffy, Self-Indulgent Ficcing Happened Again, Zero Regrets, Akechi Is Gay And In Denial, Can You Hear The Author's Mad Cackling?, Human!Morgana, Akechi's Adorable Murderous Urges.
Disclaimer: Don't own P5.
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Goro observed the barista from above the pages of his detective novel, eyes locked on the teen's figure as he moved about smoothly to prepare Goro's cup of coffee.
This was him, Goro knew without a shadow of doubt, this was the leader of the Phantom Thieves of Hearts. He absolutely fit the bill- aside from his motives and circumstances (both of which Goro had already confirmed to fit the profile he had in mind), there were the mannerisms; the Thieves' leader acted very unassuming, quiet and rarely speaking, the type anyone would bypass without a second glance, but held a subtle charm to those who bothered to pay him any attention.
Truly, as befitting a phantom thief.
"Here," Kurusu murmured, the quietness of his voice hiding the baritone Goro had heard a few times when Kurusu let his guard down sometimes, and put Goro's cup of coffee on the counter in front of him.
"Thank you, Kurusu-kun." Goro breathed out, putting away his novel and sending a charming smile Kurusu's way; Kurusu wasn't swayed or flustered by the action, not that Goro expected him to. Goro took a sip from his coffee and sighed, relishing the taste that made him return to this café, over and over again (aside from Kurusu- and the curry, can't forget about the curry), "Delicious as always." Goro sent Kurusu a wink while keeping a tight lid on his inner giddiness that came to existence due to the combination of the coffee and Kurusu's presence.
The giddiness intensified when Kurusu ducked his head and one of his hands rose to fiddle with his messy bangs with slender fingers; it was Kurusu's bashful telltale and Goro enjoyed each time he got to fluster Kurusu like so- Kurusu's reactions were absolutely delicious~
Goro hid a smug grin behind the rim of his cup, but only enough so that it wouldn't be very obvious- he certainly wanted Kurusu to notice it.
And notice it Kurusu did, a faint blush dusting his cheeks. Goro inwardly cackled and a mischievous spark entered his eyes.
He could feel Sojiro's Disapproving Look burning a hole right through him, but he didn't pay it any mind; he was a detective on a job, a predator with the scent of his prey filling his nose- he wouldn't let something as pesky as other people's approval stop him.
In that moment, the bell above Leblanc's entrance chimed as the door opened, heralding the arrival of another customer.
"Hey, Boss!" Goro almost narrowed his eyes at the familiar obnoxious voice that grated on his ears.
It was fuc- curs- goddam- hecking Kobayashi.
"Oh, it's Akechi." Kobayashi plopped gracelessly on the chair to Goro's right, and Goro's hold on his cup tightened, "What are you doing here? Oh, wait, don't answer that." Kobayashi's mouth stretched in his usual ugly Cheshire cat grin, his eyes flitting to Kurusu, and making Goro immediately contemplate at least three ways to maim him (he had a nice cup of hot coffee on hand, he had a briefcase on his left, he had his own fucking forearm which could make a nice chokehold-), "You're here to woo Akira, aren't you?" Kobayashi cheerfully declared.
"Morgana!" Kurusu hissed, while Sojiro merely shook his head.
Goro's urge to throw Kobayashi into a vat of acid and watch him die while laughing and pointing increased by 300%.
"Kobayashi-kun," Goro ground out through his clenched teeth, "I'm not here to… 'woo' Kurusu-kun, or anything of the sort." Goro nodded decisively, "I'm simply here to enjoy the coffee and quiet company-" Goro sent a beaming smile Kurusu's way, "-right, Kurusu-kun?"
Kurusu nodded his head jerkily, averting his face from Goro in the process, and Goro's chest clenched at the sight.
Privately, Goro wondered why he felt like he should take back what he said, even though it was the best response in such a situation; after all, he didn't want to give Kobayashi more ammunition to use against him.
"Is there something wrong?" Goro inquired, expression clearly showing his confusion, as he noticed both Kobayashi and Sojiro giving him disbelieving looks.
Sojiro just shook his head and disappeared to the kitchen amid the silence that stretched even after Sojiro returned with a plate of curry and placed it in front of Kobayashi, who finally interrupted the silence, "Hey, are you actually oblivious or are you just playing around? Because let me tell you it better be the first, not the second, because if it was the second, then I hold the rights to pants you in public in front of your adoring fans." With his piece said, Kobayashi dug into his plate of curry.
Goro almost snorted; he was neither oblivious nor playing around- Kurusu was a serious topic for Goro and required his utmost attention and care. Well, at least now with Kobayashi no longer running his mouth, Goro could return the entirety of his focus on Kurusu and continue flirt-
His brain reached a screeching halt and he almost dropped his cup of coffee.
Um.
AHEM.
That wasn't…
He wasn't…
Goro stared blankly at his cup, not so much seeing it as staring through it.
He vaguely registered the sound of Sojiro snorting, "There. Now he realizes."
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"Ah, I see everyone is here." Goro smiled at the Thieves as they all piled into the empty office after him, "I'm glad."
"Everyone?" Sakamoto parroted.
"Yes." Goro's smile widened, "No need to act so coy with me, I have long since known about your activities. I simply didn't have the chance to confront you before now. Especially with incriminating evidence."
Kurusu cocked his head to the side, and damn did he have to look so adorable? "Activities? Incriminating evidence?"
"Yes." Goro nodded resolutely, "Your group is the Phantom Thieves of Hearts and you, Kurusu-kun, are their leader." Goro declared dramatically as he reached into his coat and pulled out a number of pictures depicting everyone in front of him sans Kurusu, "And I have picture evidence. I must admit, it was devious of you not to be seen at all around Okumura Foods HQ, you must have seen through me since the very beginning, Kurusu-kun, and did your absolute best to avoid being caught in such incriminating evidence. But I guess that I shouldn't expect anything less from my rival, the notorious leader for such an elusive group of vigilantes."
Silence.
Goro blinked at the group, and the group stared back at him with looks of pure incredulousness.
"Um, what?" Takamaki was the first to regain her voice, "Did you just say that Akira is our leader?"
"Isn't it obvious?" Goro responded, confusion swirling within him at receiving such a reaction, "He is highly proficient, intelligent, bold, charming-" ("Gay," Sakamoto muttered, and Takamaki elbowed him in the side, Goro ignored both)"- and with a great web of confidants with convenient skills to help you in your endeavors."
Niijima cleared her throat, "I think you have a correct take on the situation, but it doesn't change the fact that you're wrong: Akira isn't our leader, he isn't even a member of the Thieves, he is a very dear friend, true, but not all of our friends are members of the Thieves. Our leader is actually Morgana."
Goro stared blankly ahead, and Kurusu sighed, "What is it with people always assuming that I'm a member of the Thieves?"
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"You're not a member of the Thieves…" Goro stared at Kurusu's phone as he scrolled through it for the umpteenth time, though his search didn't net him any sign of the Meta Nav that all the Thieves had along with Goro who had the fortune (misfortune?) to be accidentally pulled along with the Thieves on their latest heist.
"I'm not." Kurusu's tone was bland, and Goro had to suppress a flinch; it turned out that letting slip the implication that he'd been spending so much time around Kurusu was just to gather information on the Thieves was not a wise choice, and he'd been too stunned by the revelation that Kurusu wasn't whom Goro thought he was, that he didn't even think about backpedalling and telling Kurusu that, true, it may have been for information gathering purposes at the beginning, but Goro had grown to genuinely enjoy Kurusu's company.
He had to fix that mistake.
Goro raked a hand through his hair and sighed before he returned the phone to its owner, "Listen to me, Kurusu-kun," Goro started and Kurusu looked back at him, though Goro couldn't see his eyes from the way the light reflected off of them (which told him that he was in deep trouble if he didn't correct the situation- and fast), "It's true that I started frequenting Leblanc and spending time with you to get information on the Thieves, but that was months ago. It's different now, I promise! I… like being around you and-" Goro could practically feel his own face's increasing temperature as it glowed with an impressive blush, "-I enjoy spending time with you. I don't want this misunderstanding to ruin our… friendship. Um. I'm sorry." Goro almost winced at his own words; he was usually very eloquent, where had the words disappeared off to?
"Okay." Kurusu smiled lightly at him and Goro's insides did an impressive set of flips and twists.
"O… kay?"
"Yeah." Kurusu's smile widened, and Goro had to put a hand on his chest, feeling like his heart may just as well tear itself out of his body at the sheer amount of emotion that smile induced in him.
"But first…"
"Yes?"
"Call me Akira."
"Alright… Akira-kun."
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End
Yes, Kobayashi is human!Morgana's surname.