Wish
Disclaimer: Don't have anything to do with The O.C., but if I did, this would certainly not happen!
Warning: Not made if you're squeamish. Nothing gory, ew, but just in case...
A/N: Just a thought, not a happy one, but a thought.
Ryan sat outside on the balcony. He could see the Newport world, everything there. Just a few weeks ago he sat in Theresa's backyard, his arm around her shoulder, talking about tomorrow. How they'd have the most beautiful child, what it'd do, where'd it'd go. They were making the child have the life they had wanted.
Then the accident happened. Ryan was at home with Eva, and they got the phone call. The baby was gone, Theresa was hurt.
She told him to go home, that he didn't belong with her. He told her no, but she refused. He wasn't supposed to be there.
So he came back to the Cohens. But nothing was the same.
Marissa wouldn't see him. She slurred her words on the phone, and hung up on him.
Summer told him she had someone else, she was sick of waiting for Seth. Ryan knew that she was unhappy when she closed the door and he could hear her cry.
Seth told him the island he was on, Ryan couldn't remember the name because it wasn't even important, was gorgeous. It was real, not sculpted like California. Ryan told him to come home. Seth said he'd come back eventually, but right now he had to think some stuff out. Ryan told him about Summer. Seth slammed the phone down.
Sandy hugged him every once in a while, but mostly was at the office. Busy at work, ignored his problems, and focused on his clients'. He told Ryan it wasn't his fault, but Ryan wasn't an idiot. Sandy knew that, but pretended he didn't. Sandy pretended he didn't know a lot of things.
Kirsten eyed him suspiciously, drank too often, screamed that he drove Seth away, floated in the pool in her nicest dresses, and broke down sobbing in her son's room. Ryan tried to save her, but when he attempted, she grabbed him and kissed him hungrily, sometimes tenderly, and then cried and would mumble how he wasn't Sandy.
Nobody knew how many times he sat out on the balcony, criticizing his choices. If he hadn't been so noble, if he had drove Theresa to the grocery store, if he had made her take the bus, if he had just kissed her that night...Everything would be the same.
Nothing would be different, like it was now.
He wanted to be back in Theresa's backyard, talking about the future.
Clearly, Theresa didn't care if he was gone. And to everyone around him in Newport, he still was, or at least they were still dealing with the aftermath of his exit although he had returned.
Ryan looked over the carefully made world of Newport. He didn't want to be any where today or tomorrow because life was ending up just how he knew it would. He was alone, he was tired, he was too upset.
The knife was cold in his hand. He closed his eyes and bit his tongue until he tasted a little of blood. He quickly opened his eyes just to see more blood running down his arm.
Tears covered his cheeks, soaking his face. He didn't know it'd hurt so much to put himself out of his pain.
The last few seconds his mother's words from a time he couldn't even recall rushed back to him.
"You're nothing, you won't ever be anything. Just a damn coward,"
She was right. He couldn't face his problems. He was just a coward with a weakness for trying to save everyone but himself.
Slower and slower time passed. Nothing but a body and a blood-stained knife would remain soon.
He wished he could go back, but it was too late. A wish couldn't save him now. The darkness of the night engulfed him and soon he would be gone. It was only then he wanted wishes to come true.
But maybe he had wished for what he had now...Nothing.