Welcome to the new and improved "All I'll Ever Want". As I said before, I am re-posting this story to FFN and maybe another fandom site. The difference is that I've grown as a writer and I've gained the help of the fabulous Lovely Black Butterfly. When I first wrote this, I never knew that I'd fall in love with writing as much as I have, nor that I'd still be part of this fandom for as long as I have.
This story will have adult themes both the fun kind and not so fun kind. There are quite a few lemons in here, and if this is not what you enjoy, I won't hold it against you to leave the story from right here. There are also some themes that may trigger some people, and for these, I will add a note stating so.
There is no update schedule for this story, yes it is a re-write but it doesn't mean it's complete. My real life will take precedence over my writing. I will try to not have large gaps between posting, but please do not be upset if there is a week or two between updates.
Disclaimer: Sadly I do not own the rights to Twilight, nor have any affiliation to the author or studio in which do own the rights to. I do however own the books and the movies. Now with that unfortunate note let's get on with the story.
Maybe driving all night wasn't my best idea in the world. Okay I know I was the one that thought that I would get there before the storm hit Washington, but surely I can be forgiven for forgetting exactly how old my truck was. With all the work that Jake had done on it, rebuilding the motor… and all of the problems that came up, he was there to fix it with no questions asked as to what I had done to it. Even Edward knew that my old truck was my pride and joy, so he gave up on trying persuading me to upgrade from my metal monster to some plastic toy.
"Stupid Bella, always have to be so independent. Well here's your reward." I grumbled to myself looking out the windscreen.
I was always doing things for myself, even before I had gone to College in Texas State. After growing up in dreary Forks, I needed some sun, and I was inevitably going to the right place. I had met so many friends there, each one I am sure I'll have till the day I die.
I wasn't going to ask Edward to drive with me; sure he would have done so, but it wouldn't have been right. Edward's a great guy, we both grew up in Forks, but really didn't know each other until we left for college. At first, it was because we both didn't know anyone at school, but it did grow from there. I loved him, but there's a difference between loving someone and being in love with them. I didn't realize how—comfortable-I guess you could say until we talked about what happens after school had finished.
With the rain pouring down outside of the truck I was able to keep my wits with me, so much so that I even saw a hitch-hiker a few miles ahead of me.
"Are they crazy or something?" I said to no-one.
As I got closer, I realized it was a man, not much older than I was. Wearing nothing but a simple white t-shirt and jeans; Cowboy hat and boots to match. He was a sight for any woman to drool over. I was sure I wasn't the first, and I wouldn't be the last.
"What the hell, maybe he'll keep you awake long enough to find a place to sleep?" I thought as I pulled up to get his attention.
"Hey, it's raining like crazy out there. Do you want a lift?" I called over the rain as it hit the cab of the truck.
I watched as he ran around the cab and climbed in, his mumbled thanks all I heard as the door closed behind him. I didn't even think of precisely what this would look like or what my father would think. Growing up with the chief of police as your father and knowing that you're going against everything he taught you can smack you in the face sometimes.
"Name's Jasper ma'am." He spoke a few minutes after I'd turned back onto the road. His Texan twang was somewhat softer than what I'd gotten used to after spending the last four years surrounded by friends.
"Bella.", I glanced quickly over to him as we stopped at a red light in the small town we were currently driving through, "Is there anywhere, in particular, you're going?"
"Not really, just 'til whenever you want to drop me off somewhere." I watched as he took his hat off, running his hand through his hair.
I wasn't sure if I'd been struck stupid or just lost all brain function. Jasper it seemed was gorgeous. His blonde hair hung limply around his face, defined cheekbones and what could be a few days growth along his jaw. It wasn't until I heard him chuckle that I turned back to the road and saw that the light had turned green. I was sure my face has skipped pink and went straight to scarlet. Turning on the radio I decided that there was no way I was going to say another word, I'd probably blurt out something utterly ridiculous.
For the next hour, I concentrated on driving, and not taking quick glances at the man beside me. The only problem with driving in a quiet truck was that you couldn't fight exhaustion. It wasn't until the fourth yawn left my mouth in a matter of minutes that I knew pulling over was the best option. Having driven this route multiple times, I knew a smallish town was coming up with a relatively good priced hotel. Glancing over at the man beside me, I sighed.
"Um, I'm gonna pull over just up ahead. There's a little motel there." I watched as he jumped slightly before he nodded that he'd heard me.
Driving the last few miles, I pulled into the empty lot, happy that I'd made good time. It wasn't until I started climbing out of the cab that I noticed that Jasper had already gotten out and headed towards the road, thumb already out. I wasn't prepared for the swirl of emotions that ran through me. Sadness, pity, and disappointment warred as I looked between the man moving further and further away from me and the motel lobby.
"Jasper," I yelled, "Did you want to get a room?"
I felt like an idiot just standing there in the pouring rain staring at a complete stranger and offering to share a room. Said stranger was just watching me, no doubt wondering if indeed, there were people out there like the crazy woman yelling to him. What felt like hours –though probably only a few seconds – I watched him give a nod and start his walk back to where I was standing.
Not wanting to get drenched any further I headed towards the motel lobby, and I could have kicked myself. Sitting behind the reception desk was an unbelievably stunning woman wearing the tightest and probably smallest top the motel stocked for the staff; while I was standing there looking like a drowned rat. My friends would be laughing their asses off if they could see me right now.
"Room for two?" she asked, her eyes bouncing from me to where the man behind me stood. I swear she pulled her top down further as she looked at Jasper.
I could only nod as she turned towards the computer screen and began typing.
"Well, we only have one room left, sorry. I doubt you'll have any problems with the other guests since they've all left for some bucks night fun." All she was missing was the bubble-gum popping, and I would have been back in high school.
All I could hear was the hum of the lights overhead as I filled out the paperwork and handed over my license and bank card.
"Okay, so you're in room 18. Enjoy your stay." Passing the card over to Jasper as she completely ignored me standing there.
Silently, we made our way towards the room. It wasn't until the door opened that I realized there was a reason why this room was the only one available. There was only one bed… and it took up nearly the whole room. What made it more obvious that this was something along the lines of a honeymoon suite was that the bed was covered in red silk-like sheets and covers. Hell, there was even a few hearts shaped pillows on there to really sell the mood.
Internally groaning, I offered him the first shower while I headed back out into the rain to grab a few bags with clothes and food in them. I was not heading towards the lobby to face that woman again. Walking back into the room, I was hit with the sound of water running, and realizing that when I pulled over, he didn't have any bags with him. Knowing that he was butt-ass naked only a door away was not helping. I couldn't stop imagining what he looked like without clothes.
I was still standing there minutes later when the water shut off and the door opened. My life was not some Thelma and Louise spin-off, men did not stand in the doorways with steam surrounding them in only a towel. And they sure as hell didn't stand there rubbing another towel roughly through their hair while I stood there trying not to lick them dry. My eyes were watching as the drops of water were running down his chest and soaking into said towel.
The clearing of his throat brought me back to reality, guys like that are the dangerous kind. Sexy and completely worthy of losing your mind, but can definitely burn your eyes and other places if you're not careful.
"Ah, there's some food and drinks in the bag. Help yourself," I mumbled, as I looked anywhere but his direction.
Grabbing my bag and keeping my head down, I shuffled somewhat passed him into the bathroom. The first thing I noticed was that his clothes were hanging over the towel rack drying out… the second thing was that there was no underwear in sight. Either the man didn't care about slightly damp balls, or he doesn't believe in the small pieces of fabric.
Groaning I turned the shower on, waiting only a few seconds before stripping down and stepping into the small recess. The water was amazing, and the pressure worked wonders on my tense muscles. I couldn't help but close my eyes and relax into the water pounding on my shoulders and neck.
The images of the previous occupant wrapped only in a towel flashed before my eyes, and the knowledge that he was on the other side of the door had me squeezing my thighs together. I was unbelievably turned on. There had been enough times in the past few years that I knew that unless I did something about it, there was no way I was going to get any sleep.
Soaping up my body I let my mind and hands wander. I didn't need any extra help, any fantasies to get me going. Just the thought of the man in the other room was enough. With one hand cupping my breast and the other moving between my legs. I let my imagination run free of what was hidden under that towel. Of what it would be like to actually follow the trails of the water drops as they slid down his very toned stomach and abs.
Having to bite my lip to stop from crying out, I felt as the muscles clenched as my legs shook slightly. It wasn't until I was gasping for breath that I realized he might have heard me anyway. Quickly rinsing off and turning off the water and drying off. I pulled on my underwear and shirt, before looking for the sweats that I was sure I'd packed into the bag. It wasn't until I got to the bottom of the bag that I realized that I'd packed my high school track shorts instead. The same track shorts that I hadn't worn except to sleep in since I grew hips and an ass.
"Everything okay in there?" I jumped as he knocked on the door, I didn't realize that I'd been standing in the bathroom for so long.
Quickly I packed up my bag, stowing my dirty clothes in the plastic bag… at least I remembered to pack that. There was nothing left for me to do, and there was no way I was sleeping in the bathroom for the night. As I opened the door, I saw him quickly throwing away a bag of chips before making his way to the other side of the bed. His towel still firmly in place around his hips. Tossing my bag on the chair, I climbed into the bed. Scrambling for the remote, I switched on to the first show that was available.
I wasn't sure what time it was or what was still playing on the T.V., but I knew I fell asleep while he was awake. It was completely dark when I felt his arm lay across my stomach, his chest to my back. As I tried to move slightly, the arm tightened around me, as he snuggled closer to me. I expected to feel the towel on my legs from how we were laying… but all I felt was his thighs. It took all of two seconds for me to scoot back a little further with my ass to confirm my earlier thoughts.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you," he groaned as he tightened his arm around me once more.
Sleep was suddenly the last thing on my mind as I laid there wrapped in his arm, knowing that the only things between us were my underwear and shirt. I knew it was stupid, and honestly, I didn't think he'd do anything being a southern boy and all. Instead, I counted to a thousand before wriggling my ass a bit more, trying to make it like I was getting comfortable.
"Fuck, you're dangerous," he muttered into my hair, "Do you know what that does to a man like me?"
It was my turn to groan as he ground his hardening cock into my ass all the while pulling me closer.
"It took me nearly an hour to calm down enough to sleep, you know you talk in your sleep right? A gentleman knows how to ignore that, but then you had to start moaning and panting. Fuck…" his voice was gruff as he whispered in my hair.
I couldn't stop even if I wanted to. I knew there was no way he wouldn't realize I was trying to rub my thighs together, we were too close together for him not to feel even the slightest movement. Instead, I pushed back as I did what was needed to relieve the tension between my legs and in my stomach. I moaned loudly as my ass met once more with his cock, my pushing to his thrust.
"Tell me if you want me to stop." His words came out strained, his warm breath against my neck, and I was shaking my head before he could finish. "At any time you want this to stop, just say the words." I felt his hand around my waist creep under my shirt. His hand made slow trails up and down my stomach, stopping before he could touch either my breast or underwear.
His mouth made open-mouthed kisses, as his teeth nipped at my neck. With each pass of his hand on my torso, the kisses and nips became more urgent. Yet, when I tilted my head to give him more room to move his bites would lessen to more tender kisses. Want and frustration warring with the thoughts deep in the recesses of my mind. He was a relative stranger, a man I picked up on the side of the road only a few hours earlier. Morally I knew this to be wrong, but something about it, the need for him, felt right.
It wasn't just lust for a handsome man, nor was it some misguided need to tick off having a one-night-stand. It was something more, something I couldn't name even if I wanted to.
"Bella… do you want me to stop?" he asked once more, again, his words were strained. He didn't want to stop any more than I wanted him to. Shaking my head once more to his question. "Then stop thinking, just feel."
Slowly, he rolled me onto my back, his lips skimming my jaw until they met with mine. There was no tentative touch, no feeling the other out. As his hand rose up my chest to come to rest on the side of my face, I let myself do what he asked. Falling into the kiss, I felt something in me change. Not some ridiculous love at first sight that you hear and read in movies and trashy books. More I felt what I truly wanted.
I wanted to feel like I was needed, that I was wanted in every breath that my future partner took. I wanted to be kissed like each touch of our lips meant the world to them. I wanted to be held like I was both the most precious thing in their world and their equal at the same time. I wanted more than just to be loved, I wanted to be in love and to feel that same feeling with the man I would change my name for.
I felt as his hand once more travelled down to grab my shirt and began to bring it back up. I couldn't help but sigh as the roughened skin grazed my side, hands that had worked hard, that knew how to touch both softly and with force. As he pulled the shirt up over my head I had to bite my cheek, his gaze was stuck on my breasts. I knew I wasn't overly endowed, but I was more than happy with how he couldn't take his eyes off them. It wasn't until I watched his face tilt upwards that I couldn't help but giggle softly.
"Thank god, no Barbie Dolls here." He chuckled as he gripped one.
His mouth descending once more, nipping at my bottom lip as his hand tightened lightly around my breast. Lost in the kiss and the feel of his hand, I groaned as his mouth slowly trailed down my jaw, nipping at the sensitive skin just below my ear; before he moved further down. Opening my eyes, I watched as his lips parted and his tongue licked circles around my nipple. As his eyes darted up to mine the wicked glint in his stare, I felt as he blew gently. My back arched at the sudden temperature change.
Before my back hit the bed once more his lips wrapped around my nipple. I groaned as I grabbed hold of his head, fingers curling into his hair. I arched once more as I felt the slight bite of teeth only to be soothed by his tongue. Eyes closed I felt as he moved his hand over to the other breast. His fingers gently playing with the flesh, twirling circles to match the movement of his tongue.
After what felt like hours and minutes at the same time, I couldn't help but squirm as the feel of his body next to mine. To know that this man was butt-ass naked in bed with me, playing with my body like it was his favourite toy. I was beyond excited for what he could do to me. My hands left his hair and started tracing his back, I needed to feel him, to know he was real.
So wrapped up in the feel of his body, of the images I was creating in my head I couldn't help but jump slightly as his hand slid underneath my underwear. His finger slowly tracing my lips. Up and down-up and down until one single digit slipped between them, traced my entrance, and barely touching my clit. I knew I was wet, and that he would be able to feel how much I was enjoying his ministrations.
Slowly I felt as he teased the entrance, first with barely the tip of his finger. I could hear and feel him groan as he nipped at my breast. Gradually his finger entered me further and further. Each time I felt his other fingers run over my lower lips.
"Mmm… more please." I moaned as his finger slightly grazed my clit. My eyes snapped open when instead of more, I felt his finger and hand leave my underwear. I couldn't help but glare as he chuckled.
"Don't be mad, but these have to come off if you want more." He flicked the elastic of my panties.
It took one second for me to register what he said and did before my hips were up in the air waiting for him to take them off. I watched as his lips curved slightly, almost cockily at my actions. There was no way I was going to back down or step back from whatever this was. As he moved down my body, I watched as his muscles flexed with each movement. But what took my breath away was what was standing proudly between his legs.
I'd always hated when girls would talk about a man being hung like a horse, or thick as a tree branch. The idea alone would cause me to want to back away for my pussy's well-being. Yes, Jasper's size was intimidating but it was also reassuring that I was going to be able to walk tomorrow. My hand crept up his thigh as he finally stopped moving.
I hadn't even realized I'd sat up until my hand wrapped around his length. The smoothness belying the hardness of his cock. As my hand started pumping up and down, I noticed the veins that ran under the skin and the slight hook at the tip. As my hand moved, I watched as he slipped one of his hands down my inner thigh until it rested once more over the lips. He once again traced up and down the slit, slowly putting more and more pressure until one… then two fingers parted me.
Slowly we began a rhythm between our movements. For every time my hand rose, his fingers would push inside of me. Every time his fingers would come out, my hand would slowly glide down his shaft. Our eyes locked on one another's our movements sped up. I was panting as our speed increased, but threw my head back as his thumb began rocking against my swollen clit. My hips rocked against his movements as the tension grew until it washed over me.
He followed me as I threw my body back onto the bed. His mouth found my neck as his fingers continued to work through the orgasm he'd given me.
"God you're tight," he moaned against my skin as I finally felt the muscles inside me loosen around his fingers. "Are you ready?"
I could honestly say I'd never been one to watch a guy go down on me, I enjoyed it, but watching it was something I never did. But watching as he sucked his fingers, I couldn't help the shiver of anticipation that ran through me.
His hand parting my thighs wider, I watched as he came to kneel in-between my legs. His cock still standing tall. My eyes zoned in on his hand as he gripped himself tighter than I was, as he moved his hand up and down. Slowly he leaned forward, bracing himself with his elbow to the side of my head. His hand still holding his length started to rub it up and down my slit, using the natural lubricant before he gently began pushing into me.
Just as he did with his fingers, he started with short, shallow thrusts. As much as I wanted him to fill me, I was glad that he did, allowing me to gradually get used to his intrusion. Each gentle thrust had me feeling the full effect of my thoughts earlier. While I doubted I'd ever meet him again, the emotions and desires Jasper evoked in me were pure.
As we gradually found our rhythm my hands rose to his shoulders. Not to hold on, but to keep hold of the feeling of being wanted, of being desired by this man. I needed to physically imprint the feeling he created in me for how I wanted to feel in the future. I traced the muscles in his arms to remember the strength he had to hold himself there. The feel of his back as the muscles flexed with each thrust. The beat of his heart as a reminder that there were two people sharing this moment. The touch of his lips and how he could evoke many different emotions with those soft lips.
Even his ass as he pushed in and the power that he had in his thighs.
His hand came down to grab hold of my thigh, bringing it up to rest on his hips. We both moaned as he slid even further into me. His motions speeding up with the new angle of each movement.
"God, you feel amazing." He muttered, his voice a little breathy.
"Could say… oh god. Could say the same about you." I moaned as he hit a spot inside me I didn't' even know all that much about.
"Need you to cum sweetheart. You feel too good." He ground out as he began to move faster, hit harder and push further into me.
"Almost there, need you to touch Me." again the words barely left my mouth, and he was doing exactly as I needed him to.
His hand slipped in-between us, and I could hand sung operatic with how fast his movements had me chasing my second orgasm. Instead, I threw my head back and let the feeling of him, and what he was doing wash over me. I barely noticed as his movements lost its rhythm until I felt him push a little harder than previously.
We lay there for a few minutes before I felt him begin to soften inside of me. Both of us not really caring as we caught our breath. Running my hands once more up and down his back, the enormity of what we had done began to sink in. I had just had sex with a man I barely knew, and I was seemingly okay with it. I knew I would probably have second and third thoughts over and over again for the next few days. But again, I was okay with knowing that it would happen. It didn't cheapen the experience at all.
"I, um, need to clean up," I whispered as I tapped his shoulder.
I felt him nod his head before he pulled out of me and rolled over onto his back. I didn't look at him as I stood up, nor did I bother with grabbing my clothes as I made my way into the bathroom to clean myself up.
Looking into the mirror, I didn't see a real difference with who I was until I looked at my eyes. They were wide open and bright. I was exhausted but wide awake at the same time. My body felt relaxed and exhausted, it was an amazing feeling that I'd felt only a few times before.
As I made my way back into the room a few minutes later I found myself stopping in the doorway looking at the man who seemed passed out on the bed. The sheet laying half-hazardly across his waist and the towel he had wrapped around his waist now on the bed where I was laid only minutes ago.
"You gonna come to bed, or stand there all night?" he yawned as he opened one eye.
Making my way back to the bed, I climbed in beside him. Before I had even gotten comfortable he had pulled me beside him, his arm wrapping around my shoulder. I listened to his breath as he slowly fell asleep. I promised myself that I wouldn't settle for anything that I thought was less than those feelings, those wants I had felt earlier.
I woke up a few hours later, the sun slowly lighting the room. Pulling my phone off the table beside the bed, I knew it was time to start making the final few hours' drive to the small town of Forks and to what could possibly happen.
Not wanting to just leave without saying anything, I looked around for something to leave a message for him.
Jasper,
Thank you for last night. Not just for what we did, but for what you made me realize I wanted and needed. You made me realize I wanted more, and how that more was something I deserved. You hold a special place in my heart, you changed my thoughts and feelings to what I wanted. You, a complete stranger, had been able to make me feel like I was the world.
I hope that one day, the woman you settle down with cherishes everything you do for her. And if not, know that someone out there does.
Bella.
Grabbing my bags, I headed towards the door, not looking back. This wasn't a walk of shame or anything like that. I felt more at peace with everything that had taken place last night then what happened two months ago. Taking a deep breath I headed for my truck, throwing my bags in the cab before quickly heading towards the lobby.
Organizing with the day manager that the person in the room would be allowed a late checkout and any damages that may occur would be charged to my account, I once more climbed into the truck and headed home.