The Ministry Murdered My Children & Is killing My Wife!"
Says prominent businessman Lucius Malfoy. He is speaking, of course about the controversial legislation forcing arranged marriage & weekly intimacy on any single witch between the ages of 16 & 50 for the purpose of reproduction. This includes the banning of contraceptive potions & charms & introduces a mandatory 6 monthly administration of a new "fertility potion" which, according to Potions Master & War Hero, Professor Severus Snape (2 Order Of Merlins, First Class) is "nothing more than a dangerous, if not harmful concoction whose long term effects have not yet been properly tested, nor the potion itself officially approved by the Potions Guild as per the Ministry's own Legal Procedure 2315 regarding New, Untested & Dangerous Potions & Substances. It is," he says, rather scathingly, "yet another example of the ludicrous lengths Ministry fools will go to in their attempts to achieve a place in the pages of history."
Lucius Malfoy, 40, looking paler than usual, spoke to this reporter from outside the St Mungos hospital rooms of his wife, Hermione Malfoy nee Granger, 23 (Member of the Golden Trio, Order of Merlin First Class) "We were ordered to attend the Ministry yesterday for the first round of those mandatory 'fertility appointments' they are forcing on us all; Hermione was fine until the Ministry Healers administered that foul brew; the last thing she said to me was that it tasted like rancid dragon dung & old socks, then her eyes rolled into the back of her head, she fell to the floor screaming & convulsing like a Cruciatis victim. She was clawing at her stomach in agony; It was horrifying."
This extreme reaction, according to St Mungos Healers is due to the fact that Mrs Malfoy was already three months pregnant with twins, a detail which Ministry healers failed to observe. This oversight appears to be directly responsible for the miscarriage of the Malfoy twins. Mr Malfoy takes a shuddering breath, obviously trying to compose himself. "We had given up hope; accepted that Hermione wouldn't be able to bring a baby to term. She was doing so much better, emotionally, physically, psychologically; she was almost recovered from the last abortion. The loss of healthy twins we didn't even know about is crushing."
Readers will no doubt recall that Mrs Malfoy has been with child before & due to hex damage left over from her active participation in the war, has lost them or had to abort early for her own safety. "It is in this way", Mr Malfoy says "that the Ministry is killing my wife. They are aware of her fragile condition; are, in fact, partially responsible for it! Hermione was only a school girl when she fought against Voldemort; where was the Ministy then? She fought for us all & 4 years later the Ministry is rewarding her by forcing her to endure a future of pregnancy after pregnancy when she knows she will only miscarry them. My wife & I have lost 6 children now; I dont know how many more Hermione can bear to lose. This last miscarriage has devastated her; they (the twins) were the oldest babies she's ever managed to carry. She hasn't spoken since she woke up. Its like she's dead inside."
It has been noted by this reporter that Mr Malfoy has, until now, been noticeably more relaxed & open in public with his family & friends since the revelation of his secret defection from the Deatheaters following the horrific murder of his late wife Narcissa Malfoy nee Black at the hands of Fenrir Greyback (rouge werewolf) during the war, the announcement of his & his son, Draco Malfoy's (Order of Merlin, Third class) spy status for the Order of the Phoenix & surprise marriage to the Golden Girl of Griffindor 3 years ago, a love match which friends & family describe as "an unusual but adoring pair of great minds, ambitious souls & mutual respect."
Mr Malfoy allowed this reporter access to his memories of the disastrous day in order to capture photographs using the method of Memory Photography recently developed by Hermione Malfoy herself. Most of the pictures were deemed too disturbing to show, but some have been released. They & photos of Mrs Malfoy's current condition can be seen on pages 2, 3, 4 & 5 along with witness accounts, expert opinions & interviews from some of the Malfoy's closest friends & family including Harry Potter (The Chosen One, Defeater of Voldemort, Part of the Golden Trio, 2 Order of Merlins, First Class), his partner, Draco Malfoy & members of the Weasley Family.
What is being done about this tragedy? It is of course the latest & most horrifying in a growing line of horror stories with their roots firmly planted in this new legislation. The Minister was unavailable for comment today & Ministry Healers are remaining close-mouthed citing "Patient Confidentiality". There were, unsurprisingly, no Wizengamot members in sight either. It seems to this humble writer, dear Readers, that the Ministry is lying low in the wake of such a public announcement of their failures. Why is the Ministry above the Laws they themselves supposedly enforce? What gives the Minister the right to force marriage & pregnancy on us, the public, when his own daughters have fled his laws & Europe itself to live in the Americas? The situation is definitely nearing break point. Since its instigation, there have been ever growing cries for the Minister's resignation and subsequent withdrawal off the legislation and, following this horrific murder of two perfectly healthy new members of the magical community, it would seem the legislation is having more luck killing off our numbers rather than expanding them.
This is Reeter Skeeter signing off.
Daily Prophet