Still on the road, Brian and peter are still talking about what had been going on. I got some extra snacks from the gas station back their Brian said. Brian, we are on a tight budget, how did you get more money peter asked. I sold some stuff Brian responded, licking himself clean. What kinda stuff peter asked. Oh you know, some baseball cards, useless junk, your bird Brian said. Peter agin looked at Brian in shock, DAVID peter yelled. To who?. To Tom Tucker's son Jake Brian responded. Peter once again looked at Brian in shock. You sold my dead bird to the upside down face kid peter again yelled. Yeah Brian said.
"Back in Quahog Rhode Island"
Jake is seen taking the bird and putting it as decoration on his shelf. There, the perfect decoration Jake said. Lois and carter are seen peeking in through Jake Tucker's window with disgusted faces on. Ew, what kinda kid keeps a dead bird for decoration carter said. I don't know, but we better find those theifs Lois said. Carter and Lois approached peter and Brian's door only to find a note that says gone to Las Vegas. Damn it, come on pumpkin we better get to Vegas before they do carter said, ripping up the paper.
"Hartford Connecticut"
Peter and Brian stop at a diner to grab something for lunch, and are seen already with a juicy hamburger and some sodas. Brian is looking out the window looking at the cars drive by while peter is just picking at his burger. Huh, Brian what are you doing peter asked. I hear sirens, trying to keep a look out for what vehicle it's coming from Brian responded. Peter goes back to eating his burger before he accidentally knocks over the salt. There it is an ambulance I knew it brian screamed with excitement, then he notices the salt has been knocked over. Peter Brian yelled. What peter asked. Brian picked up the salt and told peter that he spilt the salt. You spilt the salt, that's what. Spilling the salt is very bad luck. And we're driving all the way across the United States, and the last thing we need is bad luck, here take the salt and toss it over your right shoulder Brian said.
Peter picked up the salt and tossed it over his shoulder accidentally hitting Seamus. The fuck Seamus yelled. Seamus stood up from his table and asked who threw the salt. Aye, who's the dead man who threw the salt Seamus asked. Brian pointed at peter as he took a drink from his soda not paying attention. Seamus walked over to peter with an angry face. I'm sorry sir, I didn't mean to, I mean It was a mistake peter said. Kick his ass Seamus Derek yelled. You gonna finish that sea burger Seamus asked. No, I mean yes, I mean no peter responded nervously. Seamus then coughed, then spited a nice juicy green blob right into peters burger. Still want it seamus asked. No peter responded. Seamus picked up peters burger and walked back to his seat.
Well, that didn't go as plan didn't it peter Brian said. No, I mean he spitted in my hamburger peter yelled. Well I got a plan to get back at him Brian said. Peter and Brian walked over to Seamus's table and asked if they would like some beers. Hey, um I was wondering if we can buy you guys a drink Brian asked. Sure, make it three martinis and one Pawtucket Seamus said. Whatever you want Seamus peter said. Brian and peter walked over to the counter and told the cashier that Seamus was gonna pay for there lunch.
Excuse me, um you see those guys over there, those four people, they are so nice that they were gonna pay for our lunch Brian said. Seamus said that the cashier asked, peter looked over at Seamus who was waiting for his beers. Yeah their really nice peter said. If that's what Seamus wants the cashier said, writing the bill for Seamus.
Peter and Brian are seen driving off on high speed, while some waiters and Seamus run out looking for the bastards. Those bastards Seamus said.
"The border of Pennsylvania"
Peter is seen driving his car, while Brian is bouncing his leg up and down. Peter, you think you can pull over I gotta pee Brian said. Not now. Plus there's no where to pull over peter said. But I have to go, it's an emergency Brian said. Fine, grab an empty beer bottle from the back, jizz in those peter said. Brian reached back for an empty beer bottle and began doing his business. Watch the seat, the seat peter yelled. Ok, alright Brian yelled, uh oh. What peter said. The bottles almost full and I'm still going Brian said. Well stop peter said. I can't it stings when I stop, grab another one brian said. Peter reaches back for another bottle to give to Brian. Hold that one Brian said, giving the full pee bottle to peter, and this one, and this one. Peter and Brian pass by joe who was sitting in his cop car and begins to chase them down.
And that one please brian said, I'm trying to hold it in so I can go again. Peter has at least 4 bottles of pee bottles in his hand still driving until joe came to the side of peters car. What are you a camel peter said. Pull over joe yelled. Peter rolled down his window since he couldn't hear him. What peter yelled. pull over peter joe yelled again. Peter was confused, and just told him about the shirt he was wearing. No it's a polo, but thanks for noticing peter yelled back. Brian joined in and complemented on how nice his car was. Yeah, nice car joe Brian yelled, giving him a thumbs up. Pull your vehicle to the side of the road joe yelled again. Peter pulled over as joe got out of his car. Joe walked up to peter and asked for his license and registration. License and registration please joe said, by the way thanks for the complement Brian. Peter pulls out his license from his pocket to give to joe to check.
You guys where going a little fast back there don't you say joe said. You guys been doing a bit of boozing, sucking back on grandpa's old cough medicine joe asked. No joe Brian said. No, no we don't drink while driving peter said. Yeah, well what's that joe asked, pointing at the pee bottles. That's nothing joe peter said. Yeah nothing Brian said. Hm, well are you aware it's against the law to have an open alcohol container, here in the state of Pennsylvania joe said, come on give me that. Peter hands the bottle of Brian's pee to joe, then joe takes a swig. Joe, I wouldn't peter said. You keep your mouth shut, if you knew that it was good for you guys joe said. Then joe started feeling sick as he felt Brian's pee running down his throat, as he begin to twerk his head. Uh joe a mint peter asked. Get the hell out of here joe said in a puke style. Peter begins driving off as joe is seen puking and coughing.