A/N: This wasn't intended to be so long. I originally meant for this to go in as a chapter of "Short and Sweet." Oh well.

This has minor spoilers to HeartGold/SoulSilver, but I guess it's nothing surprising if you've played the originals. I also avoided mentioning the starter, since I don't know what Lyra officially picked in the anime/manga/whatever. And that is reason enough to disclaim this from me.

"And then this little brat pulls out this Magneton and I'm thinking 'Ha, like you could possibly beat my Kingdra with that!' and apparently, even she realizes it after she makes it use Discharge and it isn't super-effective like she thought it would be. I mean, there's a reason I save my Kingdra for last, it's my powerhouse! You can't defeat that thing, no matter how hard you try, it's just too powerful! Except you, of course, but that's different."

Lance rolled his eyes and took a sip of his drink while his cousin blathered on about her most recent challenger. She did it so often, and her shpeal about her Kingdra was the same every time. "Powerhouse" this and "can't defeat" that. But he'd let her blow her steam, because Mew knows Grandpa wouldn't think to hear of it.

"And I think I've got this win in the bag, right? But she doesn't give up! This kid seriously thinks she can pull a win right out of her ass! My Hydro Pump nearly one-hit KO's it, but after every time I hit it, she heals it with a hyper potion before I get the chance to attack it again and I'm getting really frustrated by it! I mean, I almost have it! I know it's like, one of her last pokemon. I took out her others with my second Dragonair before she even had a chance to blink."

He poked at the fries around his sandwich. He'd only ordered it to be polite, as he usually did at his weekly luncheons with Clair. It wasn't as if he didn't like her, but he, like their grandfather, thought she focused too much on power and her own win streak, which was perfect, aside from her battles with him for the title of Champion. He never failed to halt her efforts, and was never worried about her ever winning his title. She just lacked compassion.

"So I ran out of Hydro Pumps, my Kingdra was getting tired, but it's not like I didn't have any other moves, of course. I don't know why that Magneton didn't turn-tail and run out of the gym, she was driving it so hard! And just when she got it down low enough, Kingdra's Sitrus berry gave him an energy boost and I watched her face fall and you should have seen it! She looked so frustrated, but she also looked even more determined. I've never seen someone do that before! Like they think they have a shot at winning!"

Lance swirled his drink in his glass. Did she ever stop to breathe? He knew she didn't get to talk about her battles with anyone else, (or rather, chose not to, because if anyone else knew that a trainer had given her trouble and word got back around to said trainer, she would probably have a blemish in her perfect record) so he more or less put up with her stories until they could go on with normal conversation. But after so many, he'd heard them all. She played them up to where he used to actually think the trainer would win. But of course not, she'd pull out at the very end, just like the hero she thought she was.

"I didn't know Magneton were that sturdy!" she said, pausing to take a bite out of her own sandwich.

"They are part steel, that's a very sturdy element, it doesn't have too many weaknesses."

"I ought to teach Kingdra Fire Blast or something in case it happens again," she mused. "Anyway, at the very last second when she thought she had me, I managed to find a Full Restore in my pocket and used that. I thought she would have given up then, because Kingdra had gotten paralyzed and it was working very well in her favor. But no, she just got this even more determined look on her face and then before I knew it, I was back down with Kingdra almost down for the count. I don't remember sweating that much in my entire life!"

Lance nodded calmly. "And I assume you used Hyper Beam as a last resort and managed to just secure a win, correct?"

He was met with only silence. When he looked up, Clair was looking down at her plate and pushing a fry around on it without really focusing on it.

"Clair?"

"No, Hyper Beam didn't do a whole lot like I thought it would," she mumbled. "And while Kingdra was recharging, he was hit with one more Discharge attack... and fainted."

Lance dropped the fry he'd been putting in his mouth when his jaw went slack. Before she could see, he recomposed himself and took a deep breath. "Wow, so this trainer won, did she?"

"Well, yeah, but I was mad!" Clair smacked a fist to the table, which caused a few other residents of the diner to glance their way. "I didn't let her have the badge at first–"

"Clair! I thought you knew better than that!"

"Shut up and let me finish!" she snapped. "So I told her, if she wanted the badge, she'd have to go pass the Dragon User's Challenge that Grandpa gives. And the girl just nods and goes out to the Dragon's Den! I expected her to put up a fight, at least! Argue with me, try to negotiate, but no! She just up and left!"

Lance rubbed his temples. "I can't believe you sent her to Grandpa. He hasn't accepted another trainer since he deemed me worthy! That's basically setting her up for failure. That isn't fair."

"I said, let me finish!" she replied. She took Grandpa's test... and passed." She glanced to the side with a tinge of pink on her cheeks. "He's never even accepted me, and he accepted her right off the bat."

It took all of Lance's willpower to keep from bursting into laughter at any moment. Grandfather didn't say yes to anyone, even the trainers he'd sent there that he'd seen potential in on his journeys. It took even more of his willpower to keep his composure when he realized that she wasn't kidding.

"You're serious."

"You'll have a new challenger soon, I expect," she said. He could tell that it was taking all of her willpower not to start yelling obscenities in her anger. "I told her that, if she was to challenge the Elite Four, she had better not lose and make me look even worse. All she did was nod. I'm trying to rile the girl up, make her react with some other emotion than determination or gratitude or happiness or love or whatever, and she doesn't even get her overalls in a twist!"

That sparked Lance's attention. "Overalls? Did you happen to get the girl's name, by any chance?"

"Lyra." Clair waved her hand dismissively. "Like I'm likely to forget the name of the only other trainer to ever defeat me in battle anytime soon!"

Lance only just managed to hide his little smile. Lyra, he should have known. That girl was a legend. She single-handedly put a stop to Team Rocket's revival efforts. To think she was only a small-town girl from New Bark was extrordinary.

The first time he'd met her was in the Team Rocket hideout in Mahogany Town. No, wait, that was the second. He'd talked with her briefly after she captured the red Gyarados that was on a rampage at Lake of Rage. He remembered that battle, probably better than she herself did, even if he did come into it about halfway through. She had been sitting on the back of a Staryu, kind of like one would expect a little kid to sit on their father's shoulders or something. There had been a Pidgeotto flapping in the air between her and the Gyarados, which had some sort of manic gleam in its eye. Lance knew that'd been because of the radio signals that Team Rocket had been broadcasting, but she hadn't, and yet she was facing it anyway with her own brave determination. Even her pokemon, though they'd stood by her firmly, were visibly apprehensive.

"Gust, Pidgeotto!" she had commanded. It had nodded and, with a mighty flap of its wings, enveloped the Gyarados with a relentless torrent of hi-speed winds. The Atrocious pokemon roared with pain and infuriation. And while the residents gathered on the lake's edge all winced at the sound, while the girl's Pidgeotto and Staryu flinched away from the anger, while his own Dragonite twitched at the awful noise, only the girl and Lance had stood firm. That stood out to him, he remembered, because he would have expected a young girl like her to have turned-tail and swam away. But not her.

"I'm not trying to hurt you!" she'd called. "I'm trying to help you!" Her Staryu bobbed in the large wake that headed her way when the Gyarados thrashed about. "Please, let me help you!"

The gaze it shot her had all the potential in the world of being a Leer attack, with the intensity behind it. But the girl met his glare head-on and pointed. "Pidgeotto, Fly attack!"

As soon as her Bird pokemon had flown up into the air above the entire scene, she'd realized she made a big mistake. Now there were no pokemon separating her and the rampaging Gyarados, and the other pokemon noticed it too. With another deafening roar, it had charged her from fifty yards back, a massive wake trailing beside it. The girl froze, Lance watched her face grow pale, and all the people around him nearly fell into the lake as they all pressed closer together to watch. His hand had immediately went to his belt where his Dragonair was ready to be thrown into the fray.

Pidgeotto wasn't going to make it in time. It was too high up, even diving at the Gyarados wouldn't have stopped it, attack or no. Nothing could stop a Gyarados's Dragon Rage when it was angry. It tried for its trainer, it really did. Lance saw the valiant attempt, even though everyone knew it was too late. Dragonair's ball was in hid hand and he raised it, about to press the release button, when suddenly–

"Pokeball, go!" The girl had cried. He saw a Great Ball soar through the air and hit the charging Gyarados while it was mere yards away. It froze, began glowing with a red light, then was sucked into the little blue ball. The girl tapped her Staryu with her heel and it shot forward in time for her to catch the ball out of the air and hold it in her hands. One of the dumbest moves he'd ever seen! Who knew if the Gyarados would be caught for sure? If it popped out now, the girl would be done for!

She held the ball close to her face. He could see the ball twitching, but he could also see her lips moving, as if she were speaking softly to it. Another twitch, but her whispering didn't stop. The entire crowd, pokemon and people alike, waited with baited breath for something to happen. Anything! Lance had never been in such silent company in all his life. The suspense was killing him as much as it was them.

And then, the girl had smiled triumphantly and held the ball high above her head with the silliest grin he'd ever seen. The crowd erupted in cheers, her Pidgeotto swooped down and landed on her other outstretched arm to nuzzle her head affectionately, then scanning her with an eye to make sure she was okay before returning back to its ball. Lance slowly put his Dragonair back on his belt with his own smile on his lips. He hadn't even noticed how much his own heart had been pounding until then. The girl's Staryu headed for shore and, with her arm holding Gyarados's ball still high above her head, she stood up on the Staryu's shoulders (if you could call them that,) and roused another cheer from her spectators, and then laughter as she lost her balance and fell into the lake. When her head popped back up though, she was laughing just the same, and told the old man who helped her out of the water, "Well, it's not like the rain is any dryer than the lake."

"Lance, are you even paying attention?"

The Dragon Tamer jumped out of his memories and returned to find Clair tapping her fingers on the table. The bluenette raised an eyebrow at him. "I asked, do you know her?"

"I do," he answered honestly. She slowly began to smirk.

"Do you really? Interesting, when did you meet her?"

Lance didn't like that smirk. While he was superior to her in how he raised and battled with his pokemon, she was much slicker, much better and making you think she knew something you didn't. Which, in most cases, was very, very true. "When I was checking out the Lake of Rage for those radio signals. She was the one who caught the Gyarados and helped me take down their base in Mahogany town."

"So she's naturally powerful," Clair mused. Lance nodded. Did you get to see her battle?"

"Yes, at the Lake and in the Rocket hideout."

"Is she any good?"

"Of course, even you could see that when you battled her."

"Are you looking forward to getting to battle her as the Champion of the Elite Four?"

"I am, it'll be interesting."

"Do you think she's cute?"

"I do."

The response had come just as fast as the question, and Lance hadn't a moment to think before his mouth answered for him. Clair's smirk was wider than her face. Lance could do nothing but sit there and try to look dignified around his heavy blush that was redder than his hair.

"Interesting," she said again. "So then, here's a better question – Just how many times have you seen this girl since then?"

"That was the last time, I assure you," he replied. Lance didn't lie, which tended to be a bit of a hassle around Clair sometimes. Clair wasn't stupid, this he knew. If she asked the right questions, he'd be forced by his conscience to answer truthfully. Lyra was a girl of maybe thirteen, and he would rather there be room for discussion about the exact bounds of his pervertedness than have it all laid out on the table with one honest answer.

Clair tapped her fingers on the table again. Both of their meals had been abandoned without regret, as both were too focused on other, more important matters at the moment.

"Okay," Clair folded her hands under her chin and leaned on her elbows, "so how many times have you thought about her since that time?"

Lance hesitated. Could he just get up and make a break for it? He couldn't outrun his cousin, she was fast. But he still took the time to plan an escape route from the restaurant when he answered, "Often enough. I saw so much potential in her, and I've often wondered what happened to her since then."

"I hear she was called up by Professor Elm and told some Kimono Girls were looking for her," she said, leaning over the table as if she was retelling some juicy piece of gossip. "I heard she passed their challenge and that they were able to summon the legendary Ho-Oh! And that she caught it, too!" She leaned back, arms folded. "So I guess you were right, pretty amazing girl, huh?"

Lance was dumbfounded. Catch a Legendary? There was no way. Even Suicune, who had appeared to both he and Clair, managed to allude them both. And to catch the Rainbow Pokemon...

"Yeah," he breathed, "pretty amazing girl."

"You picked good, Lance," she said as she stood, dropping some money on the table to pay for their neglected meals. At the sharp look he gave her, she shrugged her shoulders. "I was talking about your ability to pick trainers with such high potential, what did you think I was talking about?"

Lance opened his mouth to respond, but Clair put a finger over his lips to silence him. "Lance, you're not stupid, and you know what you're getting into when you start something." At the look he gave her, she rolled her eyes. "I know you're not a creep, and I will never think you are one, no matter what you do." She paused and stole a glance out the front window. Lance followed her gaze and saw a girl with a puffy red hat and blue overalls passing by, followed closely by a chipper Magneton. His insides froze. "Or who you go after." She pulled her hand away and ruffled his already somewhat frazzled hair. At the door she paused and called back to him, "Same time and place next week, you'd better be here." She gave him a smarmy wink in parting and headed out into the streets, paused a moment to greet Lyra calmly, then headed out on her way.

Lance wasn't sure if he'd imagined it or not, but he could have sworn Clair had gestured toward the little diner he was in before she left. But if he hadn't imagined it, it would have explained the curious look the girl was giving at the tinted windows. And he found himself in a mixture of slight excitement as she pushed open the doors to come inside and gratitude towards Clair and not only her words of encouragement, but also her apparent hint for Lyra to come in. As a result, he beckoned her over to his table when their eyes met and greeted her with a smile.

He'd have to thank her next week for playing matchmaker, he realized. She wasn't half-bad, that Clair.

A/N: I spent an hour trying to come up with a way to end this and that's the garbage I came up with. Someone remind me why I'm bothering to post this again?

I suppose this makes me slightly pedophilic for liking this pairing so much, doesn't it? Holy cow, since when do I write anything that isn't EliteUndershipping? You're obviously looking at the wrong author.