"To be honest, I didn't really think you'd show up." The Joker mumbled with a half-smile lingering on his lips. "You're that determined to save these- these lowlifes? These losers? And a couple of smelly animals? Big whoop about them. Go save some sick orphans from a burning building."
Bruce sneered under his mask. The Joker angered him beyond belief. But why did he seem to addict Bruce like some sick, forbidden drug? Little did the Joker know, the situation was quite ironic. There were many other helpless people in need of assistance, just as the Joker had sarcastically hinted at. He could have been helping them. In fact, he should have been helping them. The Joker was simply holding up a semi-popular pet store. Nothing major. But Bruce had chosen him. Bruce had chosen the Joker. There had to be a reason for that... right?
"Why would you choose to rob such a place?" Bruce inquired, more forcefully than he had intended. But, as usual, the Joker remained completely comfortable and in control and didn't seem at all taken aback.
"Well, you see, Batman," The Joker replied extremely mockingly. "As you probably know, there's a Chinese restaurant downtown, and I just stopped by there. Fresh out of meat. So I thought I'd come here, and..." He giggled childishly. "No?" He continued when Bruce remained stone-faced. "Fine. I was doing a little test. I've set up other crimes around Gotham, all way more destructive and important than this one. But for some unknown reason, you chose to come here and punish me. Why is that?" Bruce felt his cheeks grow hot. Why was he so fascinated by him?
"Hm? Care to share?" The Joker continued, taking a few steps toward Bruce.
"I... um, well... you've always seemed to..."
"Yes? Compliments are always appreciated!" The Joker was starting to raise his voice. He knew he had to do some quick thinking. Frantically, he cooked up something believable enough to get the Joker off his case.
"I always love seeing what kind of crazy scheme you'll come up with," He fibbed. That was part of the reason he always chose the Joker. But the other part was something he could never admit. That wild face paint, those deep scars... everything about the Joker was so mysterious. And surprisingly attractive...
The next day, the Joker reeked havoc on Gotham again. And guess who was there to stop him. No, not the Crimson Chin! Batman, of course! You silly goose!
"Don't be such a ham!" The Joker laughed, throwing a cold ham at the cashier in the deli. She tried covering her face with her hands, but she wasn't quick enough. The Joker squealed with delight was chilled pig meat splattered against the cashier's cheek. "Had enough?" He shouted. The cashier nodded, and ran over to the cash register. Quickly, she popped open the drawer and started putting the money in a white plastic bag.
Just then, the front door to the deli opened and the little bell hanging from the knob rang merrily. Batman stepped in, fierce as ever.
"Stop this bullshit right now."
"Well, if it isn't Batman!" The Joker was overjoyed. "Gettin' a little obsessed, aren't we? I'm not that handsome." Bruce scowled as the Joker twirled his finger through his faded green hair. "Pretty ticked at me, eh? Well, don't take it out on these poor people! Wouldn't want to taint their meat! Let's go elsewhere! How about the mall? I need some shoes to go with my new mini skirt!" He laughed out loud.
"Fine." Bruce scowled. "Elsewhere." The Joker smiled sweetly at Bruce, then walked out the door. Bruce apologized to the frightened cashier, who was slumped against a box of sausages, then followed the Joker outside.
As soon as he got outside, he saw that the Joker was ready for him. Everyone was gone. It was like a ghost town. The Joker was standing about three feet away from Bruce holding up a gun. "Alright. Let's settle this, shall we?"
Quickly, Bruce knocked he gun out of the Joker's hand and punched him in the nose. The Joker threw back his head and cackled. "That was refreshing! Do it again! He teased. They stood eyeing each other, and finally Bruce spoke.
"Why do you always choose to rob such places?"
"I told you, I'm testing you." The Joker replied, sounding very annoyed. "Why do you always choose to come after me?" Bruce was dumbstruck. He didn't know what o say.
"Your crimes are always interesting."
The Joker smirked. He shook his head. "But wouldn't you rather stop those Chinese idiots from blowing up big glass sky scrapers?"
"What is it with you and the Asian community?"
He shrugged. "I had a siamese cat when I was seven"
"Siamese cats have nothing to do with Asians these days."
"Enough about me. Tell me about yourself." The Joker licked his lips, calling attention to his scars.
"Wait a minute, how did you get those? They look really deep." Bruce took a step forward. The Joker looked taken aback for a moment, and brushed his fingertips against the permanent smile that had been carved into his cheeks.
But then a sly smile spread across his lips. Each time he told someone how he got the scars, he made up something different. Sometimes he built off the story he'd told his last victim. But this time, the story would be special.
"You really wanna know?" The Joker took a couple of steps toward Bruce. When Bruce just stood there glowering at him, he went on. "Okay, When I was young, I fell in love. She was depressed, though. Always complaining." He paused, taking another step toward Bruce. "Never smiled. I loved her smile." The Joker shook his head and grinned to himself.
"One day she was sitting there, stone-faced. No smile, just completely still. She had every reason in the world to be happy, dammit! She was a lucky girl, let me tell ya! That ticked me off! So I pulled her close to me..." He pulled out a knife and grabbed Bruce's neck, their faces inches apart. "And I said, 'Why so serious?' She just stared at me. So then I said, 'You have so much to be happy about.' And she said, 'Like what?' Then I..." The Joker looked deep into Bruce's eyes. His gaze softened. It's now or never, he told himself. Quickly, he loosened his grip on Bruce's neck and smashed his lips against Bruce's, dropping the knife. Bruce was absolutely shocked. He didn't really know how to respond, but he knew one thing. He wasn't about to pull away. That was the last thing he wanted to do...