Some people have asked what the title actually means (when i was actually explaining the brief to ff watchers over msn), and well, it basically means a way of living. When the fic is completely finished, I'm sure you'll understand why it's relevant. I was actually skimming through my dictionary when I found the phrase.. Gee I'm such a nerd. I hope you enjoy this fic. I'm definitely having fun writing this one.

I didn't want to be the one to tell you how I felt. When these feelings I had really were for real. Since the moment we met, I knew there was something special about you and as we grew closer I came to the conclusion that I had fallen in love with one of my closest friends. It didn't seem right at first. I doubted myself, mainly because of the differences between us. I keep thinking about what the other Autobots would say. I imagined Cliffjumper and the rest of the Minibot squad coming up to me full of abuse and threatening to make my time with Primus come early. They've always been a bunch of irritating slaggers, right from the start. I found it more than just amusing when I discovered Grimlock had stepped on the mouthy red bot. He's always the one who likes to test my patients and he knows that I wouldn't hesitate to tear him up into scrap parts. I've actually come close to almost killing the pit-slagger. But I really couldn't face another week of being locked in the brig. I wouldn't have survived if it weren't for Swipes. He does so much for me and I treat him like a pile of slag. That's the thing though. I'm a monster. A machine programmed to be ruthless and powerful. Not to mention short-tempered, blatantly rude and the most narcissistic bot ever created. I go out and fight for the thrill and because I like the feel of a cannon in my hand. Then I return usually half blown apart and end up giving a load of abuse to Ratchet. He does so much for me as well. He must have repaired me over ten thousand times and every time I come back in a worse condition than the last. Maybe everyone would be better off if I was actually locked away forever. All the other bots act as if I'm about to rip their sparks out. I'm even sure that I intimidate my closest friends. The other day I raised my hand to remove something irritating one of my helm vents when Mirage visibly flinched and jumped back slightly as if I was about to lash out at him or something. I sometimes wish the other Autobots would see me as something other than a killing machine. They don't know how much it hurts. Not even Sideswipe knows. Maybe I should follow Prowl and just never show my emotions at all, seeing as the only one that ever gets displayed is hatred. If only I could-

The twin's quarter's door hissed open, making Sunny jump and almost fell off the chair he had been swinging on. He had become so engrossed in writing on the data pad that he'd lost track of time.

Sideswipe strolled in with a small grin on his face. He'd obviously managed to pull off a new prank on some poor unsuspecting Autobot.

"Hey Bro," He smiled, the doors closing behind him. Sunny acknowledged his present with a small grunt. Sides noticed the pad his twin was holding and walked behind him, peering over his shoulder. "What's that?" He asked, attempting to read the small text.

"Nothing for you to worry about" Sunny grumbled, tilting the pad so his brother couldn't see.

"Aww c'mon! Lemme see!" Sides whined, reaching over the yellow mechs shoulder and trying to grab the object.

"No." Sunny swatted his hand away and moved the pad further away.

"Just one peek?" Sides leant over Sunny reached for the object again.

"Oh all right" The yellow mech brought the data pad closer, but still kept it turned over.

"Really?"

"No." Sunny smirked, shrugging off his twin then quickly getting to his feet.

"Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?" Swipes pouted.

"No" Sunny saved the file on the pad, and then put a password on just in case his twin managed to get it off him. Swipes leapt at his brother and tackled him in an attempt to knock him over. Sunny stumbled backwards, managing to keep his balance. He suddenly realized that he had an extra weight on his right arm. He looked down to see Swipes attempting to pry the pad from his hand and he quickly snatched it back, holding it over his head.

"Come on Bro, lemme see it!" Swipes moaned.

"I said no slag it, why can't you get that through your thick head?!" Sunny shouted.

"Because I wanna see!" Swipes yelled, standing up properly and reached for the object.

"NO!" Sunny yelled, grabbing onto his twins helm with his free hand and pushing him back. Swipes growled and tried to pull down his twins arm so he could at try and snatch the pad. But Sunny was having none of it. He promptly released his grip on Swipes' helm and the bot yelped, falling forward to the ground. He didn't realize he had been pushing on his twin's hand that hard. Sunny found his chance to escape and quickly ran past the mech. The doors hissed open as he approached and he raced out, ignoring the faces that stared at him. They had obviously heard his conversation with his twin. "Nosey slaggers" Sunny mumbled under his breath as he continued to get as far away from his quarters as possible.

Swipes sat on the floor, arms and legs crossed. He frowned at the closed doors, clearly sulking. After a few moments he relaxed, and stretched out on the floor. He straightened out his legs and leant back, propping up his upper half with his hands. He sighed 'The stupid fragger has got me intrigued about that data pad more than ever now. Just what is he hiding?' A few minutes passed as he idly stared up at the ceiling. 'Well whatever, I must get that pad off him and don't worry, I will Sunny' He smirked and got to his feet.

"I promise you I will."

Wahey, I'm still raring to go! Next chapter, casualties of war.