A/N: I wrote this up the other night while I was bored and a little stuck on my FemShep/Garrus fic. I noticed there wasn't many Joker/Shep fics, and Joker always makes me laugh (it is a wonder why they haven't made him a romance option) so I thought well why not. This is a one-shot. Don't really plan on doing more on this fic, and sorry if I missed a few grammar issues. I didn't really feel like bothering my beta with this one since she has been working so hard on my other fics.

Yeah, most of my work is rated M for a reason.

To make it easy to differentiate between the two FemSheps I have written about this Shep has light blue eyes, very light brown hair (almost dirty blonde if that helps), and mousy features. She is a complete opposite of my Shep who has red hair, green eyes, and angular facial features. While in my other fics I kept Shep's first name as Jane, mine was named Axel for my actual game which is where Lexa comes from (It's backwards if you didn't notice). Anyways, I hope you enjoy. Even a brittle boned pilot needs some love. :)

Fly With Me

Joker laid back in his chair as he watch the dark sky full of twinkling stars. There was a sort of peace being able to sit in the cockpit again. Even if he still had nightmares about watching Shepard floating out in space. It still did not matter that Cerberus was able to bring her back, the nightmares would still come. Not every night, but enough to keep him up more often than not. Some nights, he never left the pilots seat and slept the few fleeting hours he sometimes managed to catch. He yawned and stretched in his seat. Despite the calm and quietness that echoed throughout the Normandy during the skeleton shift, he never even heard her soft barefooted steps until she was right next to him.

"Hey, Joker." Shepard's soft silky voice made him jump.

"Commander!" He frantically reached over to his console and tried to delete the current pages he had been looking at on the extranet. Accidentally, he hit the wrong button on one and the sound of a female's panting voice erupted from the speaker. Joker winced visibly and quickly turned it off. "Sorry… that was suppose to go to my earpiece." Good job, now she probably thinks I listen to porn all day long.

He heard a light chuckle and feared that if he looked next to him she would see the red in his face. "So, how come you're still up?" Her voice did not seem upset, almost amused actually. Slowly he turned his head to see his commander standing less than a meter from his chair in a very thin, and very slim, nightgown.

"I…" He was not sure what to tell her and turned his face away in embarrassment. He did not want her to think he was "checking her out" in clothing that left nothing to the imagination. The light blue fabric of her knee length gown matched the sparkling ocean for eyes she had and clung to her lithe and generously curvy body. Her light brown hair was down from the normal ponytail she sported like all woman in the military with long hair did. It was wavy and fell down past her broad shoulders. Joker could not help but blush at the thought of the Commander Shepard standing next to him in such a manor.

"Sometimes I have nightmares. Plus this seat is much more comfortable than the last Normandy and it beats having to walk all the way down to the sleeping quarters just to walk all the way back."

Shepard studied him for a moment. "Yeah, I get that. I still have nightmares too. Damn Prothean shit won't get out of my head."

"Damn." And he thought his nightmares were bad.

"So what do you do up here all night then?" A hint of teasing etched in her voice. He still could not bring himself to really look at her, but he could hear her step closer. The smell of citrus and a small ting of floral washed over him. Dear god. He shivered just a little and he hoped she did not notice.

"Uh… well a little bit of everything. Making sure the controls are in top shape. Can't really leave my baby in the hands of some virtual busybody all the time."

Shepard giggled, something that he remembered very well about her. For a commander and Spectre, she was very… feminine. EDI must have been doing something else at the moment for there was no rhetorical comment from the AI. It eased Joker's tension a little and was able to look at her again. He still had the same uneasy feeling as he did before, but had better control over his body's actions was able to keep from blushing at the sight of her.

"Well, what about me?" Shepard said smoothly.

"Uh… pardon?" Joker was not sure what she was asking.

"Will you teach me how to handle your baby?" If it was not for what he had already said, it would have sounded a bit dirty. Well… it kind of still did and almost made Joker choke. He coughed lightly to cover it up.

"Y…Yeah sure. If you'd like. Just take the co-pi…" She never let him finish his sentence for she had moved so swiftly and gracefully he was not sure what was happening. Until he found Shepard had moved his legs gently apart and had wedged herself between them. Joker gulped as he froze in place, his heart started to race. She was small enough that the position was not uncomfortable nor going to cause any problems. At least any fracture problems… he hoped. He could not help but shiver again in anticipation of having her sitting practically in his lap.

She turned her head to the side and looked at him. He could see his reflection in her pupils. "Are you cold?"

"Uh… yeah kinda… I guess." No not really…

She rose an eyebrow and turned her head back to the flight controls. The smell of her shampoo and soap waved over him again. He could see the loose curls of her hair and could picture her small mousy features smiling at him. Oh. My. God. He resisted the urge to touch her soft, pale skin; and he could not help but notice the hem of her gown had hiked up to the middle of her thigh when she had sat down.

"So, what does all this do?" Her small soprano voice interrupted his ogling.

Joker blinked as she grabbed both his hands from the armrest and carefully moved them forward toward the control panel. Her hands… They where incredibly soft and tiny. It was hard to believe that such a fragile looking hand could wrap around a machine gun, let alone fire it. He could even feel a tiny pulse through the warm touch of her palms against the top of his hands.

"Uh… well," Joker slowly switched their hand placements so he would be able to guide her hands beneath his. "This controls the pitch, altitude, and… yaw…" His speech had slowed significantly for moving his hands over each control panel and forced him to move forward enough to where his face was right above her shoulder. Light, bouncy curls rubbed softly against the side of his face reminding him of silk. Closing his eyes for a moment, he inhaled the same citrus and floral scent of her shampoo, the smell filled his lungs. His pants started to get a little constricted and he tried to shift his body away to keep her from noticing.

"Lexa?" He whispered in her ear, trying her first name for the first time. He knew he was shaking, just hoping it would not frighten her away. A slow shift in weight beneath his hands made him open his eyes again. She had moved more than he thought and got an eye full of her hair as something soft and slightly wet brushed up against his lips.

Joker's heart nearly stopped. He was kissing Commander Shepard! He should push her away and tell her that it was very unprofessional for both of them, but he just could not do that. He was enjoying it. Hell, he even wanted it before she had shown up in the cockpit wearing practically nothing. Her hair slowly fell away from his face and he could see that her bright eyes hiding behind her eyelids. Something very wet teased his lips apart and flicked the inside of his mouth, urging his tongue to join hers in the play.

He sighed contently and opened his mouth wider, trying to gain some dominance in their kiss. She pulled away and giggled. A hand found his chin and lightly stroked his stubble. "Oh… sorry." He apologized. Stupid, stupid, stupid! He thought to himself.

She smiled at him warmly. "It's ok. It just tickles." With that, she attacked his mouth again with hers. What? The quickness of her recovery staggered him slightly. Does she know what she is doing? It should feel wrong that he was kissing her. That his hands were pulling her closer to his body.

Lexa Shepard moved carefully from her sitting position and placed her knees in the place where her bottom had just been. The leverage gave her a better hold on him as her gentle kissing started to get a little more passionate. Her hands moved up and her fingers grasped tightly in his hair, knocking his hat off his head. It fell toward the ground and landed with a soft thump which neither of them heard. Oh yeah, I think she knows what she is doing.

He ran his hands along her back finding that the gown was the only thing she was wearing. Her body melded into his as he pulled her close, her breast squishing against his chest. She was strong enough to keep a good amount of her weight off of him, but still allowed him to guide her body where he wanted it to go. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity for Joker, they broke off their kiss just short of de-clothing each other. It would be a very bad idea to be caught naked in the cockpit with the Commander, but he had enjoyed their kiss, it was more than he had ever hoped for.

Shepard, on the other hand, was far from done with him. Giving him a certain look and a light pull to try and bring him to his feet said it all. Does she really want to?! Joker was a bit dumbfounded at the moment. Another tug and a slightly pouty face showed him that she was not joking. "I, uh…"

"I am very capable of handing the ships flight controls while you are gone, Mr. Moreau." EDI's voice was clear and a bit louder than he remembered.

"Shit, EDI! How long have you been watching?!" His heart thudded for a completely different reason now.

"I am always watching, Mr. Moreau." The AI answered emotionlessly.

"Creepy…" Joker whispered to himself.

"So?" Shepard asked as she tugged again.

Joker returned her smile with one of his own and stood up to have her lead the way. Well, why not. She obviously knows what she's getting into. Shepard's bubbly personality bounced as she helped Joker, as fast as they could both go, toward the elevator. It was possibly the longest walk he had ever taken. His head was so full of different things he was not sure which he should listen to.

Once in the elevator, the kissing recommenced with renewed vigor. She was already starting to unzip his clothing by the time the elevator stopped, and he could have sworn that she never touched her door, that they just opened by themselves. Somehow, she was able to rid him of all but his underwear once they were next to her bed, a trail of his discarded clothing left in their wake.

Her hands explored his chest, sending chills down his spine. Kissing her neck he could feel her body sigh with pleasure and her grip tighten slightly as her teeth nibbled on his ear. She was ever so conscious that he was much more fragile than her and if they were not careful, he could get hurt. His hands found the straps of her gown and he pulled them over her shoulders and watched as it fell to the ground reveling the curves of her body. He inhaled deeply as he looked her up and down, his eyes stopping on her breast and sex a bit longer than anywhere else. She was as beautiful as he ever imagined she would be. Her tight and tiny body felt warm and inviting beneath his touch. Joker could feel himself harden at the sight of her.

Fingers trailed down his body, finding the top of his underwear and relieving him of them. His hard, erect sex caught her attention and her baby blue eyes widened and a sly grin appeared on her face. She stepped closer, wrapping her hands around his shaft causing him to moan instinctively.

"Jeff." His name on her lips brought a certain ache in his heart. She had always called him Joker, just like he had asked her to. "It has been a long time for me." She whispered, her eyes looking slightly frightened.

Oh. "It has for me too. Not like I can go gallivanting around all the time, brittle bones and all." Shepard placed her mouth back on his to keep him from talking anymore. It was all he needed for encouragement. Her kisses moved to his neck, then his collarbone, then started traveling slowly down his chest. Joker closed his eyes and moaned as he felt her soft, wet mouth enclose around him. Her tongue swirling around him as she sucked gently. It had been a very long time since anyone had done that to him too.

After letting her indulge for a few moments, Joker reached down and picked her up off her knees and laid her down on her bed. Take his time, he climbed up on the bed and ran his fingers along her skin. Massaging her breast in his hands and teasing her nipples with his tongue. A long moan rumbled through her body when he moved down her abdomen and toward her sex, licking her sweet, yet salty, skin.

Once he had licked her good and wet, he positioned himself on top of her. Looking into her eyes he could tell she was ready for him. Her hands were clutching the sheets in anticipation and her body arched into him, begging for him to give her release. Slowly he slid inside her, savoring the tight muscular feeling enclosing around his hard erection. She gasped loudly as he filled her completely.

Joker's breath quickened and his heart jolted when her muscles flexed around him. Carefully, he started to move in and out of her. It had been far too long for him and Shepard felt wonderful. Gently, she pushed him over and rolled him onto his back. Panic started to rise in him. He was always afraid of doing this, most women would not know how to deal with his frail structure. Then again, Shepard was not like most women.

She positioned herself carefully on top of him and started to move up and down, taking care not to put too much weight on him. Placing his hands on her hips, he guided her body's movements so slowly her breast did not even bounce. It still felt amazing to have her riding his hard member.

He felt himself enlarge, pressing harder against the inside of her. With a almost frustrated action, he shoved her back to their original position and reentered her vigorously. She gasped and dug her nails slightly into his back as she tightened her muscles again. In and out he continued, feeling the slick wetness wrap around him. Moaning her name softly she arched into him again and watched her throw head back and her eyes roll into the back of her head.

She cried out his name as he felt her body spasm, pleading him to quicken his pace. He gasped and erupted in her, and saw stars in his vision before collapsing on top of her. They were both panting hard and Shepard did not seem to mind his weight on her. Wow. Once he had control of his limbs, he slid out of her and rolled over to the other side of the bed.

Shepard rolled with him, curling up against him. Her hearts was beating as fast and hard as his. Automatically he wrapped an arm around her. "Oh, wow, Jeff." He still could not get over her calling him by his name. "You can teach me how to fly any day you want."

"I'll take you anywhere you want to go." His heart leapt and he shivered, this time from the chilly temperature. She looked up at him curiously. "This time I really am cold." He admitted.

Shepard giggled and reached down and pulled the covers over them. Snuggling under the warmth of the blankets he kissed her on the top of her head. "I, uh… should I go back to my…"

"No." She cut him off almost a little too sharply. "No," This time she answered a bit more softly. "Please stay. It's warmer with you here." The way she snuggled closer made him think there was something more to it.

"Alright." He smiled at her and held her to his warming body. "But if you want me to go…" She never answered because she was already asleep. Joker looked down at the peaceful, beautiful woman in his arms that he thought he would never be able to touch again and smiled to himself. Now that he had, he did not think he could let her go. Soon after closing his eyes he drifted off to sleep. A sleep that he knew he would no longer dream of watching her die.