iHave Hiccups

A/N: Merry Kissmas all you people! Yes indeed, it is the Seddie Kissaversary. Can you believe it's been two years since iKiss? I think it's so unfair that all we get is an eight second kiss (even though it was awesome, don't get me wrong) and Creddie gets a whole episode devoted to how many times Carly can put her lips on Freddie's face. But oh well. We'll have our chance too, Seddie Warriors. I came up with this story about a month ago, but I didn't decide to publish it until the Kissaversary so that I could have a story ready in honor of it. Read and Review!

Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly.

General POV

"Hic!"

Carly looked up at Freddie from behind her magazine, eyebrows raised.

"You okay, there?" She asked.

"Fine," Freddie said, as he continued to set up for the web show, iCarly which they did every Tuesday night at 6:30. They were in the studio, and Freddie had suddenly come down with a case of the hiccups. He ignored them as he always did when he got them. "It's just the- hic!-hiccups."

Carly nodded, returning to her reading. "Oh, alright then. Do you have any idea where Sam is? We have fifteen minutes until the show starts." Freddie rolled his eyes. "You know how Sam likes to wait until the last minute to show up. I wouldn't-hic!- worry if I were you."

"Yeah, but this show's different!" She fretted. "The All American Rejects are going to play! And if Sam doesn't show up I'm going to end up looking like an idiot doing the whole web cast on my own!"

"You-hic!- won't be doing it on your own! Sam will -hic!- be here just stop thinking-hic!-about it and get back to your magazine." Freddie said.

Carly sighed. "Okay, okay. Getting back to my magazine. No worries..." She leaned back against her bean bag. No thinking of what could be taking Sam so long. No, no, no, just relax, Shay, she thought. Resting the magazine, which she had shut, against her thigh, she closed her eyes. And then...

"HIC!"

Her eyes snapped open and she looked at Freddie. "Freddie," She started. "Why don't I go get you some water? It always makes my hiccups go away."

"Don't bother." He said. "I -hic!- never have them for long. They'll go away soon."

"Okay," She said uncertainly. Time went by. Six minutes to be exact and Carly was practically frantic. She had abandoned her magazine and the bean bag to pace around the studio. Freddie watched her from his seat by his computer.

"Where is she?" Carly shrieked.

"Calm -hic!- down! she'll be here any -hic!- second, just give her some time."

"Time? We don't have any time! And never tell a girl to calm down!"

He raised his hands in surrender. "Sorry..."

"Can you believe the All American Rejects agree to perform on iCarly for basically no cost at all and then Sam decides she's not even gonna show-"

"HIC!"

"Freddie," She said irritably. "I'm going to get you some water." When she returned, she handed the tall glass to him.

"I mean, she could at least be considerate this time," She continued as if there had been no interruption. "Think of the viewers for once, you know? But no, of course not! It's all about Sam, Sam, Sam!"

"HIC!"

"Freddie!" She snapped. "Drink your water."

"I -hic!- did!" She turned to see him holding his empty glass. "What? Why didn't it work?" She demanded.

"I don't -hic!- know."

"Well hold you breath for a sixty seconds, that helps too." She advised, calming down slightly.

Mid breath-holding, he hiccuped yet again.

She snapped her fingers, remembering another trick. "Oh! Lemon Juice!" Hurriedly, she fetched some from the kitchen and squirted it down his throat.

"AUGH! Carly! What the -hic!- hell!"

"Darn! That didn't work either! Oh, I know, my grandmother used to eat a jar of pickles every time she got the hiccups."She dashed down the stairs again.

"Hey -hic!- wait!" Freddie called after her. "I don't like-hic!- pickles!"

"Too bad," she said, returning with the pickles. "You want to get rid of your hiccups don't you?"

"Yes, but-"

"So here." She shoved the jar into his hands.

Sulkily, he ate the pickles one by one.

"Gross." He said, giving her the empty jar.

"Are they gone?" She didn't give him a chance to reply as she went back to being mad at Sam. "Can you believe she's taking this long? The show starts in nine minutes!"

"The All American Rejects are going to close out the show, not start it," He reminded her. "We could start without Sam."

"But it's just so inconsiderate of her!" She raged. "How could she ruin a web cast so important-"

"HIC!"

"Oh, God," Carly groaned. "I might know another remedy... peanut butter it was I think. Yep, a tablespoon, that's what Dad always did. I'll go get some..." She ran downstairs for what seemed like the millionth time, fetching a tablespoon and filling it with peanut butter. She ran upstairs with it and stuffed it into Freddie's mouth. She watched him until the spoon was clean of peanut butter.

"Better?" She asked, frustrated.

Freddie stood still for a minute. Waiting...waiting...

"HIC!"

"Arrrgh! Why. Won't. They. Go. Away!?"

"Don't you know anything- hic!- else?"

"No!" Carly snapped. "I don't. The show starts in five minutes, Sam isn't here... you hiccups are the least of our problems. Like you said, they'll go away."

"But it doesn't-hic!' normally take this long! What if I -hic!- have them during he web show?"

"What web show? At this rate, there isn't going to be a web show tonight!"

"Stop- hic!- talking crazy, we can't cancel the Rejects."

"Shut up, Freddie, I'm thinking... Oh! I know, I could scare them away!"

"Brilliant idea," Freddie said sarcastically. "Except now -HIC!- I know that your going to try and scare me so it- hic!- won't really scare me now, will it?"

"Darn!"

Just then, the studio doors burst open. "I'm here!" Sam announced. Her wild curls were wind blown and her face was flushed from all the running. Carly glared at her best friend. "Fix your hair!" She scolded, though relieved to see her. "We're on in three minutes. Spencer said he'd come up and tell us when the Rejects get here."

"Sweet!" Sam said, using her fingers to untangle her hair. "This is gonna be awesome! I swear, I'm gonna totally kiss Tyson when I see him."

"Not if I kiss him first!" Carly teased, feeling a lot better since Sam arrived.

"Can you-hic!- guys stop talking -hic!- about kissing for one-hic!- second!" Freddie said, annoyed.

"What's wrong with the dork?" Sam asked.

Freddie rolled his eyes at her remark.

"Very funny, Sa-hic!- am."

"Hehe, yeah it is." She laughed.

"He has the hiccups." Carly informed her.

"Ooo, better get rid of them before the show starts. Drink some water." She suggested.

"He already did," Carly said, exasperated. "We tried everything."

"Oh, did you scare him yet?" She asked excitedly.

"No. I was going to, but he already knew I would, so I didn't because it wouldn't help with him knowing."

"Let me do it." She said, moving in on him.

"What? No!" Freddie backed away, looking frightened. "Carly, -hic!- help me!"

"Sam, it's not going to do him any good since he already knows you're trying to scare him."

"Weird, but somehow- hic!- she still scares me!" Freddie cried.

"Stop being a baby..."

"Sam, no! No! -hic!- Sam! Mmrph-!"

And quite a scare it was. She was kissing him. Sam Puckett was kissing him! Freddie Benson. He stared at her, eyes wide as she deepened the kiss. His shock wore off quickly and he kissed her back eagerly. In no time they were having a full blown make out session. Carly watched with her jaw on the ground as her best friends went at it. Kissing deeper and deeper, and faster and faster. The kiss was so furious and passionate that Carly blushed just from watching and had to turn away. She winced as she heard a loud pop. Sam had ended the kiss as abruptly as she started it.

Pushing herself off of Freddie, she wiped her mouth.

"Why do you taste like peanut butter and pickles?"

All Freddie and Carly could do was gape at her.

"Well?" Sam stared at him.

"I-I...why did you kiss me?" Freddie's face had gone red.

"To scare you." She said, rolling her eyes at the stupid question."You weren't expecting it, were you, dork?"

He gulped. "No."

She smiled. "Good."

"But still, y-you kissed me."

"I thought we were passed that." Sam said, smirking.

"Sam," Carly spoke finally, her voice hoarse. "Um...good thinking."

"Thanks." Sam looked pleased at the shocked looks that were still on her friend's faces. "So what about that web show?"

"Uh...right." Freddie nodded. "Come on you guys, in front of the camera..."

Sam followed a very dazed Carly in front of the camera.

"Fifteen seconds." He muttered, still staring at Sam.

Sam was still smirking. She knew kissing him would work. He was expecting her to hurt him, not kiss him. It was a very satisfying feeling to give him such a scare. His hiccups were gone. And besides, unlike Freddie, she liked pickles just as much as she liked peanut butter, and she liked peanut butter just as much as she liked kissing a certain dork.

A/N: Haha, I love this! This is one of my favorite pieces of work. It actually might be my funniest since I haven't really tried writing funny Seddie stories. Tell me what you thought in your review. Happy New Year, and most importantly, Happy Kissaversary!