A/N: FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DO NOT READ MY STORIES, you can look at this like an aftermath of Good Genes. There will be a few things different in here, but most of it is self-explantory (I think lol.) For those of you who keep up with my current stories, this oneshot takes place right after The Monster Inside. It's Splinter, Leo, Raph, and Mikey's views on what's going on with Donnie, his nightmares, his second mutation, and him being kidnapped by the Kraang. But yeah, this has been on my mind lately, so I wrote it after milking our cow DX Don't ask. I'm am a milkmaid now.
Splinter sat completely still, as if he was meditating. Nonetheless, his eyes were open, tracing, watching every moment of the person that lay in the bed beside him. He refused to bring himself to look away, if it meant losing even one second. One second was all that it could take for something to happen. One second, and his son could be gone from them for forever. He had already almost lost him so many times...
Donatello's eyes fluttered in his sleep, and Splinter hoped he wasn't suffering from the nightmares again. His son had suffered so much, he needed to be able to sleep restfully, without having too war with his mind. But as Donatello stilled, Splinter sighed a breath of relief. He was alright...for now.
Placing a paw on his son's forehead, a small smile curved the edge of Splinter's lips. There was no fever, no heat threatening to kill Donatello. Ever since his sons had saved their brother from the Kraang, he had struggled against it, battling it with a ferocity. How could any of them have known that it was only a sign? It forewarned them of the inevitable, if only he had payed attention. The Kraang had no remorse for the human soul, and had experimented on the young genius. And when he had finally come home, his body was filled with a poison. When it started coming through, he had dismissed it. Donatello had been through a lot, nightmares and fevers were expected. How was he supposed to know that there was a monster hiding within his son?
He blamed himself, he really did. There were so many things he could have done beforehand if he had only known, or if had only trusted his previous judgment. He could have gone with his sons on patrol...but he thought it would be good for them to experience life without him guarding them. He had held them back for fifteen years...they did need to spread their wings. But he had been wrong- he had not been there. And Donatello had paid the price. How many of his other would sons would the same thing? He could bear the thought of losing even one of them. He had already lost too much already.
As he gazed down at his son, he could not refute that he only saw a child. Donatello was a mere teenager, a secluded one at that. He was not a warrior, not a fighter. He had thoughts and feelings that were the same as any his age...for the most part. He may be young, but he was exceptionally intelligent, rivaling Splinter himself many times. He was the one who had escaped from his captors, straight into the arms of his brothers. He was the one who dared to hold onto to anything that he knew before giving in. He was strong, and caring, a brother, son, and friend before he was anything else.
Before he had fallen asleep, he had told them all one thing. One thing that made Splinter realize that as smart as his son was, it was wisdom that he had gained through all this. A wisdom that could only be determined by loss, hopelessness, and desperation.
"Don't concentrate on the past, on wishes and ifs. It won't change a thing. We can only take what we have now, what we have today, to make a better tomorrow. A better future."
Leonardo stepped cautiously into his brother's room. His father sat almost stoically, but Leo knew the truth. His father was hurting inside, as they all were. They had been stabbed in the heart, and the knife had been twisted, leaving them to lie down and die. But they were resilient, they refused to give up. He refused to give. He had to lead his brothers, and although he had failed too many times to count, he would never stop. He couldn't. He had to make up for all the times he failed.
Splinter was hesitant to leave, but he needed his rest. Leo was insistent on this, and without even a word being said, his father stood up, leaving Leonardo alone with his brother. It pained Leo to see the defeat in his father, but it was a defeat that held hope. They all had it, they were all experiencing it. They all saw it in each other, they all knew how easy it would be for that small flame of optimism to be snuffed out.
Leo couldn't bring himself to sit down. He only sat when he was relaxed, and he was not even close to it right now. He stood, and he stood tall, his gaze not leaving Donatello. His brother had been through so much, and he didn't deserve any of it. If there was anything he could have done, anything he could have changed, Leo would in a heartbeat. He could not even fathom what tortures Donnie had to endure, he did not even want to imagine them. But that did not stop him from wanting to trade places with his little brother. If he could just go back, have a second chance. Everyone deserved second chances. He would try again, he would save him before all of this happened.
It was his fault. That was what Leo kept telling himself over and over. It was his fault. He had been Donnie's partner, he had saved him only split seconds before he had been taken. But instead of making sure his brother got to safety, he jumped ahead. It was pride, he was the leader, he went first. Never again. He would always take up the end, always make sure that all three of his brothers were safe. He would never make that mistake again.
Cringing, Leo could see Donnie being pulled away in a sea of Kraang, his cry reaching them, but they could not reach him. What if he had tried harder? Pushed himself? What if he had given more? But...what more did he have to give? Had he not done his best? How could he have done better? What could he have changed?
Donnie's words of wisdom filled his mind. His brother, although weak and battered, was not broken. He reminded them of the strength that they all needed. He reminded them that they could move on.
"Don't concentrate on the past, on wishes and ifs. It won't change a thing. We can only take what we have now, what we have today, to make a better tomorrow. A better future."
Raphael clenched his jaw as he walked up to Leonardo. His older brother was standing perfectly still, his arms crossed, staring at their little brother. He looked exhausted, as if he hadn't slept at all, and in truth, he probably hadn't. None of them could. Their minds were too wrapped around what had happened.
A mere nod from Leo, and Raph knew there wasn't going to be a fight. They were both too disheartened to. As Leo's dropped shoulders passed through the doorway, Raph swallowed. He hadn't wanted to do this. He couldn't hardly bring himself to. But how could he not?
Watching Donnie sleep was like taking a punch in the gut. Every time his chest fell, Raph's heart would drop, and a moment's hesitation in it rising actually scared him. He had been there when his brother's heart stopped working, he had to be the one step up when Leo was to petrified to move. He had been the one to help their father revive him, and if it had not been for him, Donnie wouldn't have made it. It was his stubbornness in the end that had saved him...he refused to give up. He got angry, pounding on Donnie's chest until a breath came from his little brother. He could remember like it was yesterday how he felt when Donnie flew up, his eyes wild, but alive.
How long had it been since they had gotten Donnie back from the Kraang? A week, tops, probably less than that. But it felt like an eternity for him, an eternity of having to watch his little brother suffer. To watch him be in agony, to cry, to be in pain, to suffer. Donatello had suffered and he couldn't do anything about it. What he would give to be able to go back...to fix all of this...but he couldn't. He couldn't stop what had happened, he couldn't save Donnie. He couldn't be the protector he was sworn to be. He hadn't been the protector. He had failed Donnie as a brother.
But there he lay, finally at peace, and very much alive. Donnie hadn't blamed any of them for what had happened. If he ever had, he had forgiven them. He had forgiven him...but Raphael could not forgive himself. That was impossible. To try and think that he had let down his brother, his family, it was to horrible to even think about. But he had, and he did, every single second of ever waking moment. The little bit of sleep he had gotten was disturbed, his mind telling him over and over that he failed. He could see Donnie over and over, laying there just as still as he lay now, dead by all accounts.
There was only one thing that had put Raphael to ease, and it was something that Donatello himself said. It was no doubt what kept him going all this time, through everything he had been through, and it was admirable. It was something Raphael would never forget.
"Don't concentrate on the past, on wishes and ifs. It won't change a thing. We can only take what we have now, what we have today, to make a better tomorrow. A better future."
Michelangelo was not usually this responsible. In fact, he was never this responsible. But when it came down to his family...his brothers...he would do the impossible. Which meant responsibility. He had to do this.
He took a deep breath in, reluctantly going into the dark room. He could see Raphael sitting beside the bed, his hand in his lap. His head was bowed, but his eyes were on Donnie. All of theirs were, whether they could actually see him or not. They were always glancing at his room, wondering how he was doing. Whether he would actually live...
Raph left without a second look at Mikey, but he lingered for just a split second, his mind no doubt turning. As the door closed behind, a small sliver light escaped, shining on Donnie's face. He was pale, thin, gauntly, but alive.
Mikey didn't know what to do now. He couldn't stay seated, but he didn't want to stand either. He had to keep an eye on Donnie, but what did that mean? Make sure he was alive...watch his vitals...whatever that meant.
Donnie had been put through a lot. He had been captured by the Kraang...insensitive creatures. They made Mikey scowl, and he never scowled. But what was worse was what they did to him...to Donnie. They made him a monster.
MIkey sighed. Now he knew what happened when mutagen came in contact with a mutant. His joke about a super mutant, to Donnie's remark about sludge on the street, well, in a sense they were both right. Donnie had become a super mutant...but his brain had been like the sludge. He was a super monster. But he had still been their brother...
Mikey watched Donnie earnestly. He was Mikey's closest brother, despite them being so different. They were the two youngest. When they were younger, they used to sit and draw with each other. Some of their pictures still covered their refrigerator. He was Mikey's big brother...but he was also his best friend. And it would be like that forever.
Looking around, Mikey reached his hand out, daring himself to touch Donnie. Everyone had acted like he was made out of china, and in Mikey's opinion, he was, but that wouldn't stop him from giving his brother a hug. If there was one thing he was known for, it was his hugs.
Mikey touched Donnie's arm, and surprisingly, nothing happened. The world didn't blow up or anything, so he was happy about that. But as he reached down, holding Donnie's bony hand, he frowned. He was so cold. He was breathing, but he was cold.
Yawning, Mikey knew what he was about to do would probably get him into a lot of trouble, but he couldn't help himself. He had to. He pulled himself up into Donnie's bed, wrapping his arm around his big brother the same way Donnie used to do to him when he had nightmares. Sometimes, even now, when Mikey was afraid, Donnie would do this. For old times sake. Because they were brothers. Because he cared.
As Mikey squeezed his eyes shut, trying to stave off the tears that wanted to spill over, he remembered what Donnie had said to them. He knew he to be strong for Donnie the same way Donnie had been strong. The same he had had always been strong for him, for them. As he drifted off to sleep, Donnie's words playing through his mind over and over again. He did not see his brother smile as Mikey held his hand, nor did know the sweet relief that the honest gesture held for him. He had no clue that all of them simply being there was medicine enough for Donatello, but what he did know was that they all gained strength from a few simple words.
"Don't concentrate on the past, on wishes and ifs. It won't change a thing. We can only take what we have now, what we have today, to make a better tomorrow. A better future."
A/N: Reviews would be appreciated, but I am learning to live without them. Thank for reading, I hope you enjoyed!