Burning up a sun

AN: sorry for the form of the text, i have some trouble to make this site understant my layout.

This is my first DW fic, and my first in English, so be indulgent please.

I hope you'll enjoy it, and I've to warn you to take some handkerchief before reading.

I want to thank you a who down in whoville for betareading it.

As I said before, this is a first time for me, so tell me what you're think and please clic on the reviews button. Thanks

Disclaimer: It's very sad, but I do not owe even the tiny tiniest thing in the woniverse.

"He did it. He closed the breach."

I don't know how, but Pete just saved her life.

Killing me in the same time.

Something inside me was taken away.

Another hole.

Which will be filled with pain, again.

This wall, this stupid human wall…

I can feel her on the other side.

I can feel her crying, and there's nothing I can do.

Nothing.

Put my head against this barrier.

Put my hand too.

As to touch her.

I know that she's not exactly on the other side in front of me, rather in the same spot as me.

I can feel her heartbeat calming a little.

Mine have slowed down to a near complete stop.

Time Lord power prevents the pain from spreading throughout my whole body.

As if my hearts weren't already too badly hurt.

I can't stay there forever, I have to let her go, to let her live her own life. Mine will never be the same, but I've known that since I met her, since I took her hand and said "run".

I know how to deal with the pain, I know how to hang on to life. And I'm not totally on my own, even if I feel really empty. I've got the TARDIS, and I know she'll try to help ease my pain. She's done that in the past.

It's her who took me to Rose.

Oi!

Thinking her name is so painful. I must leave this stupid blank wall. I have to leave the pain. I have to preserve myself. I'm the last of the Time Lords, I can't give up.

I just wish I could.

Walking away is so hard, so painful. A part of me is stuck behind this wall, and leaving it behind is the same as pulling out one of my hearts with my own bare hand.

Here I am.

Again.

In the TARDIS.

Again.

Alone.

Again.

I feel her guilt. It's her who took me to …

Wanted to have someone by my side.

Wanted to give me someone to ease my loneliness.

And now she feels guilty causing new pain.

"Your guilt doesn't help me, you know. I let you take me there 'cause I wanted to. I could have protected myself and run away, alone, ever alone."

Oh yes, I could have.

But I didn't. I wouldn't.

And now, I'm more alone than ever.

Heartbeat is beginning to return to a more normal rhythm.

Not now, it's too soon. Really too soon.

Oh my! It hurts!

Pain! So much pain!

How could I have let her take so much from me?

I've to shut up my mind, shut up my hearts, shut up my feelings, shut up myself.

Become a stone.

Hard.

Old.

And alone.

Need to take a cold, very cold shower.

To wash away all the feeling.

To wash away all the pain.

To wash away all the life.

Heartbeat at normal rate.

So much for confining the pain.

Water running down on me.

Cold water.

Very cold water.

Washing my pain.

Washing my sorrow.

Washing my grief.

I feel numb.

Empty.

No more pain.

But no more life neither.

Rose…

Great, now I can whisper her name without pain.

Rose…

I didn't say goodbye.

Oh Rose…

I want so much to.

But there's nothing I can do about.

Unless…