Mp-chan: Hey there! Got another story for you all to enjoy! I was currently maximizing my remaining day of my Christmas vacation, lol. Okay so here goes! I don't own D. Gray-man.
"3.." What the hell? Why am I dragged in this party anyway? Wasn't I supposed to be recording stuff like what panda jiji told me?
"2.." I glanced around me. There sure are a lot of people here. All those people whom I had been living with for years and those same people whom I was supposed to be flashing fake smiles are all here. Grinning like crazy.
"1.." Jerks. What's the freaking point of counting down anyway? Who invented the stupid idea? And here am I, forced to countdown with them while wearing a happy grin when I'm supposed to be doing more sensible things.
"Merry Christmas!" They, I mean WE, shouted in happiness. Yeah, right. Happiness. I don't feel happiness for goodness sake. Or rather I was not supposed to. And what was there to be happy for when you're in the middle of a war and can die any minute? What was there to be happy about? Geez. Sigh. Here am I being sentimental when I can't even leave the Lavi comments outside my own head. Wasn't the geez thingy only a childish expression for my 49th alias to work? I sighed again as I rubbed the back of my head, this will be the right time to escape. I silently went out of the cafeteria and found my feet taking me at a random open hallway where I could see the open night sky.
The moon's so big tonight and the stars floating around it. I felt my body sit down on the three-steps stairway leading outside. I took in a full breath of the fresh cold Christmas air then leaned back on my hands as I stared at the lonely sky. Why, wasn't I like that sky? I'm sure no one even noticed I'm gone. A laugh escaped my lips. Good job exorcist Lavi.
"Merry Christmas Lavi!" I turned my head sideways and came face to face with a beaming Lenalee. I continued to smile brightly back at her, like what I had been doing the whole time I was cursing inside my head.
"Merry Christmas too Lenalee! Still looking as beautiful as ever, huh?" I raised my eyebrow suggestively while smirking at her. One of the famous Lavi traits, his playboy side. I noticed Lenalee laugh awkwardly as I leaned close to her face, her hands behind her back, obviously hiding something. She's got a gift for me, huh?
"I've got this for you! Sorry if it's not too much, but it's all I could afford." I watched her nervously hand me the gift from behind her. I pretended to be shocked that she was hiding something. Why? Heh. That's another thing I have to do to be Lavi, be clueless and dumb as possible.
"A gift? For me? Really?" I asked again with wide puppy dog eyes, waiting for her to say yes. Damn. Sometimes, being the childish Lavi can really get to my system while working with the old panda. Eh? I sighed frustratedly inside my head as I realized I just called my mentor a panda. Really, if I won't be able to get back to acting as my bookman self any sooner, I might seriously have a hard time once we leave this place.
"Yes. It's really for you."Lenalee laughed at me. She's so cute when she's like that. I frowned at my thoughts.
"Are you really really absolutely sure?" I asked again excitedly. She nodded while holding out the gift at me, still smiling sweetly.
"Really! Geez, thanks a bunch Lenalee!" I snatched the small box from her hands and opened the wrapper like an over excited big child. After I freed the object out of its colorful wrapper, I found myself staring at a small black rectangular box. I didn't hesitate to take off the cover and slightly flinched at its content. Inside is a black pen with gold carvings and intricate designs lying solemnly beside an expensive looking ink well. I looked back ay her to see her positioning herself on the seat beside me. She looked at me with a content smile.
"As I said, it might not be much, but I thought of giving you something you could actually use and cherish. And I noticed that you never throw away a pen. No matter how bad they're condition are. So I concluded that you were collecting them, or were at least precious to you." She smiled warmly at me, which caused me to feel a growing warmth within me despite of the cold atmosphere. I stared at her for awhile then back at the small gift on my hand. She's right. I never threw away a single pen. But I thought no one noticed that. Cause no one was supposed to care about me, of whatever I do, because I'm just a bookman. Bookmen does not exist on the face of history. We were just always on the sidelines. Watching as the main protagonists and antagonists kill each other, their blood splashing and staining our face, and we'll drown our pen in their blood to write down their own page of history, never once thinking how this blood were once running on the veins of the people we pretended to care and laugh with. And soon, I'll be using their blood as ink.
We were the pen and they are the ink. The ink at least make up the words that were spread all over the pages of a book, they were the important ones, from real life up to the history books of young students. But what about the pen? No one notices how the ink was smeared across the paper on different styles and delicacy. They only notice the words and the information it held. I'm just like the pen. I take in all the ink and put them on paper then take another batch of ink again and let them all out without second thoughts, forgetting that they once been a part of me. It was like bookmen who rake in all the memories and knowledge about wars and leave the people they once pretended to care for without hesitation. I did that so many times before, even if I was just an apprentice. And I would do that a hundred times more in the future after I become a certified bookman. I would pretend to be the best friend of a bunch of people and not shed a tear when they die, and even if they survive the war, I would only leave them once I got all the information I needed to make history. They're just ink on papers anyway. But at least many other people would remember them by the words I would write about them. People would praise them for what they've done and never think of the one who recorded the events they're reading. Bookmen would be forgotten and no one will ever know they exist. Just like a pen who doesn't have ink inside it or won't function well was being thrown away, never once thinking how it served them for years before giving off.
"You know? I think pens are precious too. I mean, no words will be formed just with the ink. Nothing will guide the ink through the paper to form the words needed. When I read a book and I can't understand the words, I would often find myself admiring how the words were smeared across the fine fibers of the paper. Hoe evenly and delicate they were distributed as they tried to put the ink into some sense. The ink is nothing without the pen, because no one can understand anything by just a handful of ink being dropped on the paper." I looked at Lenalee with shocked eyes and for a moment, I felt my eyes sting. Did she just say that? But how could she think that way? She, that was a very important piece of history, was thinking about how words were written beautifully by a pen, or by the one who held the pen.
She might've noticed me gaping at her for her face became stained with a shade of pink as she raised her hands up defensively. "I-I'm sorry! I was just talking to myself, that's all. Don't mind me saying those senseless stuff."
She chuckled nervously as she slowly turned away from me and looked up at the twinkling sky. I found myself staring at her beauty as she appreciates every little detail across the night sky. A smile made its way on my lips as I watched her. " No. They're not senseless." I said in a soft voice while looking up as well. I saw her look back at me from the corner of my eyes, her smile growing more cheery.
"Yes, I guess they're not. And don't you start thinking so low about yourself again, Lavi." Huh? What? Was I really that obvious? I laughed at myself heartily. Yeah..
"It's not Lavi." I muttered without looking at her.
"Huh?" she asked curiously, tilting her head to one side.
"It's not Lavi," I repeated. "My name's not Lavi.. It's Kaito, that's my real name." I can feel her shocked expression from beside me which soon faded into a delighted one.
"Kaito.." she breathed which caused my breath to hitch. It was the first time I heard anyone say it like that. In fact, only jiji knows my real name. And jiji would surely as hell won't breathe out my name so delicately. And her voice actually made me feel.. good. "Merry Christmas Kaito!" she greeted me again. I laughed without meeting her deep purple eyes. Man, no one ever greeted the real me a Merry Christmas until now. Not even the old man greeted me. I diverted my gaze on her again when I was sure she was looking somewhere else. Surely, the sky captured her attention again. Her face gleaming and eyes glittering under the calm light of the moon. I felt myself smile happily, contentedly.
I am the pen and she is the ink. A pen is useless without the ink. An ink doesn't make sense without the pen. We can't leave without each other. Opposite yet complimentary.
I looked back at her again and this time I felt my body moving closer to hers. I cupped her chin and drew the distance between us closer, taking in her shocked and flushed expression. I smirked.
Maybe bookmen really needs to feel emotions unlike what the rules said.
I laughed inwardly at the thought as I drew myself closer to her.
Who am I kidding?
My breathing hitched as our lips touched and for once, I felt true and intense emotions.
I guess I'm just a different pen after all.
Mo-Chan: Yay! Over and done! This is only supposed to be a on-shot but you could always ask the author to make another one, just make sure to give your own ideas about the next chapter if ever you still want one. But I guess it's better to leave it like this don't you think? Anyway reviews are more than loved! Please do leave your comment about this one. It won't take too much of your time to type some words right?