Total crack. Hehe. Crack.
READ THE DISHCLAIMEH: I don't own Naruto. In fact, I don't own anything apart from that Snap-Back. That's a lie. I have no Snap-Back.
For once in his life, Sasuke was enjoying himself.
The lush, thick woods surrounding him ensured no Shinobi would accidentally stumble across him.
He had managed to find a way to sit on a log without his back-side aching like he had just come out of an extremely naughty fanfiction.
He ate his bowl of plain rice quite contentedly, savoring every mouthful.
But the best part was that he was finally alone. He relished the time he was alone, as quite frankly being around the other members of team Taka was dangerous for his mental health.
Karin was constantly sexually harassing him. A flirtatious comment here. An 'accidental' pantie flash there. The occasional 'Oops, Sasuke, I didn't know you were having your special-alone-time. Well, I better watch you. Who knows what kind of sick bitch might try to take advantage of you, while you're so vulnerable and horny,"
Juugo, while most of the time relatively pleasant to be around, could flip his shit in two seconds flat, and Sasuke could almost die in his attempts to put on Juugo's special Barney the Dinosaur CD to calm him down.
Suigetsu was a pervert, an asshole, a whiny little bitch, a sarcastic dick-head, and constantly needed to refill his sippy-cup. Even so, Sasuke liked him the most. He was pretty funny. Sometimes.
But even so, Sasuke preferred being alone. He could focus on his own problems.
He also liked to spend this time thinking about Tsunade's rack. Aw yeah.
"Oi, Sasuke! What's this?"
Sasuke sighed. Why did Suigetsu have to bother him NOW? Could he not just have ONE nice evening alone?
"What is i-" Sasuke began, but his voice cut off as his eyes widened dramatically.
Suigetsu stood there, just outside of the door of the tent they had set up, grinning widely, baring his shark teeth.
In his hand he held the cap.
THE cap.
Sasuke's special cap.
"Is this a Snap-back?" Suigetsu chortled, his face growing redder as he attempted to hold back laughter.
"... put it back. Now." came the stoic Uchiha's reply. However, his voice seemed to be struggling to keep level, and a bead of sweat ran down the avenger's pale temple.
Suigetsu looked down at the cap, observing it in all of its hipster glory. It was a stunning red, with a white tag across the front. The word 'Obey' was stitched beautifully in black over the tag, with the 'e' made to look like a little swirly Konoha leaf symbol.
"But why? It's beautiful!" Suigetsu exclaimed, his eyes bulging out of their sockets, little snorts escaping with each word.
"Put. It. Back." Sasuke repeated, attempting to sound threatening, but sounding increasingly embarrassed.
Suigetsu lifted the cap high, slammed it down onto his head, and twisted it so it perched at a jaunty angle on top of his white hair.
"You can call me Swagetsu!" he proclaimed, striking an amazingly gansta-ish pose.
The corners of Sasuke's mouth twitched.
"If you don't put it back, I'll kill you," he droned.
"Aw, come on! Don't be a square, Swagsuke!"
"..."
And so, Suigetsu had to spend the rest of the day running away from a pissed-off Sasuke, because the Uchiha just couldn't handle his #$W G.
"What the fuck?" muttered JuugYOLO, shaking his head.
"My thoughts exactly," said the red-haired bitch.
THE END.
You could review, if you want. Not that I want you to.
...
That's a lie, I want you to. I love you. 3
ALL HAIL THE SWAGS.