A sob escaped Ziva's lips as the plane lifted into the air and she knew Tony was gone. The wind blows her hair into her face and still she stands there, motionless, watching. She sees all the goodbyes she has ever had to make; goodbyes to her mother, Tali, Ari, Michael, and her Abba. Conflicted as she was about her father, his loss was the hardest to bear. Anger welled up in her that she felt responsible in part for his death, and knowing that she was responsible for Ari's. Ziva shook her head, as if trying to discard the memories. She wants to forget; forget the pain she felt and the pain she caused. She wants to start over.
"Just give me some time Tony." She whispered as the plane's lights faded amongst the stars. She takes one last look at the sky; all of a sudden it looks immense and large and dark as if it is swallowing all her hopes and dreams; she drops her gaze and turning around heads to her car. She knows what she must do. Ziva sits in the driver's seat, elbows on the steering wheel, and dials his number. The phone rings and rings making this all the harder for having to wait.
"Ziver?"
Hearing his voice destroys any calm she has achieved and she puts her head in her hands and begins to cry. Gibbs hears the sound of her tears and his heart breaks; his fear is confirmed. He knows she isn't coming home.
"Tony..uhh…is on the plane…headed home." She manages to mumble.
Still silence.
"He…uhh…he…found me." She pauses trying to get control over her voice "I am not returning…with him. I…need to…discover who I could have been had not my father…" she pauses again, all the memories of the heartache of knowing who she had become with Eli's guidance. "I cannot undo the pain I have caused so I will try to make right what is wrong elsewhere. Help those who are like me, lost, misguided, broken." Her voice breaks as wipes the tears from her face. She continues in a low whisper "I must become the person worthy of the love of the two best men I know."
Gibbs sits at his kitchen table his beer bottle resting against his throbbing face, listening to the quiet sobs of this amazing woman he loves like the daughter he lost. He knows she must search to find the woman they see everyday and he hopes that someday his Ziver will come home, whole again. Finally Gibbs speaks.
"We will be waiting." He pauses a moment; he hears the hitch in her breath and knows that she understands. There is no judgment, no anger, just love and hope. He smiles his half smile as his eyes go damp and hangs up the phone.
Ziva's tears stream down her face. She doesn't deserve these men that have given up so much for her. This man, who has become more of a father to her than Eli ever was. This man who has been there for her these last eight years, always having her back, never giving up, and God knows why, loving her like his own child. She takes a deep breath.
"I will stop this for him." She whispers as she takes another breath. She will earn that love he so willing gave her. She exhales; wipes her tears from her face and turns the key in the ignition.