Disclaimer: Fairy Tail belongs to Hiro Mashima. Too bad.
Chapter 1: Question of the millennia
Gajeel was having a little trouble that day.
And by little trouble, I mean huge trouble.
Apparently, huge enough the bring the Gajeel Reitfox, cold-hearted metal dragon-slayer extrodinaire down to his feet, sobbing like a little girl who just lost her favourite knife to slash at her dolls with.
Who's to know? Maybe, he had.
Well, whatever, let's just assume that Gajeel was really upset one day.
Now, why was he upset again?
Oh right, he didn't have a cat…
He saw that idiot fire breathing pile of smoked brains on legs and that girl with the cute (but evil on the inside. What? Don't stare at me like that, Gajeel just knows things like that.) , happy smile hanging out together, with their cats. I repeat, WITH THEIR CATS!
And he didn't have one!
Just at that moment, Pantherlily walked past, whistling his song, looking like the world owed him anything and everything. As usual.
Wait a minute…
Hey, wasn't that his cat?
Gajeel bonked himself on the head. Bookworm girl must be getting to him. Her and her happy, beautiful look, those sweet, sweet blue curls and curling-
Wait… Did Gajeel just think of that girl as a grill, I mean, girl?
Gajeel bonked himself on the head for the second time. He scowled his most I-hate-everyone-in-this-universe scowl. He had just gotten distracted, again! For the second time that day.
Unbelievable!
Well, anyway, so, here's the real problem. Gajeel had been rearing his cat for about a month, right?
And after that one month, his cat decided to plonk it's fat ass down on the table and ask Gajeel to start acting like a real master and get him some food.
The nerve of-
Never mind. Anyways, Gajeel really needed to get Pantherlily some food.
What? He didn't want his cat to die, no matter how much he hated the world.
But-
WHAT IS IT THAT CATS EAT?
Someone? Anyone?
*C*A*T*S*
Okay, since nobody (insert glare) deemed to answer Gajeel's question, he just had to do it himself.
It's the do or die time…
*C*A*T*S*
"Hey, Pantherlily, look! I got you some food," said Gajeel, all peppy and cheerful for once.
Oh god. Gajeel? Peppy and cheerful? Everyone, everywhere, just died and went to heaven.
Pantherlily, who had obviously struggled to maintain alive, glared suspiciously at Gajeel from narrow slits called eyes.
His tiny slits travelled from Gajeel's big, choke, goofy smile to his hand. Which was holding this bunch of stuff.
A bunch of stuff that looked suspiciously like-
"Metal shaped humans! I figured since you hated everything so much, you'd love chewing them out!"
Bonk!
Pantherlily recoiled at the thought. Ewe! Didn't Gajeel have a semblance of humanity left in him? Or was his brain made out of rusted iron and loosely placed screws?
Hmm… The latter sounded more accurate.
"HEY! What was that about? I brought you food and you hit me?" Gajeel was screaming like a child who had been told that his mud ball creation was nothing more that a ball of mud.
Pantherlily put on his most patronising smile, he could be pretty patronising when he wasn't out there hating the world.
"Gajeel, you IDIOT! FOR THE LAST TIME, I DON'T EAT METAL!
And Gajeel was kicked out of his house, his own house mind, for the first time that day.
*C*A*T*S*
Meanwhile…
Inside the house, Pantherlily smashed his fist against the table with his giant strength and broke it, all the while screaming, "If Gajeel understands, I will eat Happy!"
*C*A*T*S*
The next thing everybody knew, Gajeel had knocked down the doors to Fairy Tail's boisterous bar/ hangout/ living room/ place-for Natsu-to-fight-with-Gray-and-to-have-both-their-asses-kicked-by-Erza, and kidnapped Happy.
Oh God…
Reviews please? And plus, I think all of you can tell what the next chapter's going to be about now...